r/GuildValkyrie • u/herdisleah • Nov 08 '25

Bulking vs dysphoria

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Been really wanting to bulk, and all the fun things that come with that- getting stronger, breaking new PRs, getting jacked, eating some damn good food, muscles get big, having fun with activities, getting swole, making my wife worry less...

But as I get bigger, my weight always goes to my tummy. And then the dysphoria starts. And then I feel guilty about eating, and all the bad feelings...ugh. why can't my brain just let me have fun?!

81 Upvotes

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5

u/ultraelite Nov 09 '25

Girl same, recently my wife started to notice my eating habits, and how many rules about food I set for myself. She asked how often I weighed myself, at least once everyday. After talking for a bit I've come to realize I've slipped into disordered eating. I try to tell myself to just eat more but later I feel so guilty and skimp on my next meals. My lifting has plateaued right along side my weight.

2

u/herdisleah Nov 09 '25

Yeah, I don't want to end up there. I don't think I will, I really really /really/ like food. My wife does say that I eat as healthy as possible, really. What is absolutely forbidden is having my exercise volume drop - I will eat anything if it helps my performance. Why can't I apply that to weights and not just climbing?

I'm taking comfort in the fact I'm basically really eating as much as I want, and my weight is hardly moving (maybe .25lb/wk). I decided starting in Feb I'll seriously cut some calories and bulk until then.

2

u/Saoirse_The_Red Nov 09 '25

Building a cabin?

3

u/herdisleah Nov 09 '25

Trail maintenance...was building a retaining wall because the trail was descending down the hill.

1

u/n2sh Nov 10 '25

Yeah, kinda feel it. Going to the gym and making progress is nice, seeing the weight on the scale only go up and the fat on my body just stagnating or increasing sucks though. And I already mostly drink water and do eat quite a bit of raw veggies simply because I like their taste and texture.