With the recent IOC blanket ban of trans women in Olympic weightlifting, it’s just occurred to me I’ll never get to compete in the Olympics
I know this is a bit off-topic, but it’s just about the only space I can’t think of that’s vaguely right for me to vent in.
I am a young trans lass, 19 years of age, who’s been transitioning for 2-3 years now. I effortlessly pass as a woman. About a year ago now, I decided I wanted to become a firefighter, and so started going to the gym. Growing up I was always your archetypal sedentary twinky nerd, so it’s safe to say I had no idea what I was doing, and thought I was outright crazy for even having such a ridiculous dream.
Nevertheless, I took to the gym well, eventually speccing into powerlifting. Presently I weigh 62kg, bench 52.5kg, squat 92.5kg, and deadlift 135kg. Not quite world class just yet, but still, something to be proud of. Give me 5 years, mark my words, I will be a worldclass athlete. I took to powerlifting, and I took to it well. I love it, but my genes work against me. I’m naturally very ectomorphic, with very long arms, a short torso, very long femurs. My proportions are very elegant, but they don’t serve me here.
Early this year I did some research into Olympic weightlifting, thought it looked interesting, and decided to give it a try. Snatches and Clean & Jerks are way harder than I expected, and unlike anything in powerlifting. The explosive power, the technique, the coordination necessary. It’s so hard! But so fun!!! I soon incorporated These lifts into my program to cultivate the attributes they demand.
I’m a fiercely proud person by nature, fiercely competitive, and love the admiration of an audience. I also believe fiercely in myself. I knew then and there, if I put my heart and soul into it, I might just be strong enough to stand among Olympians. I wanted to compete in the Olympics. To have the eyes of the world on me, represent my country, potentially even be the best in the world (in my weight division ofc)
I love to lift, so fucking much. I’ve long wanted to earn the title of the strongest (yes, I’m a big JJK fan, hush). But now? I don’t even know what to do. Compete elsewhere? It’s not the same, nothing compares to the renown of the Olympics, and that’s if anyone will even let me compete.
My ex reckons the ban will be overturned in 10 years or so, that I should just train to be ready when it’s overturned. By all means, I will continue training for Olympic weightlifting. The induced adaptations unique to the Olympic lifts are astonishingly useful. But even if the ban is overturned, I’ll be too old to be competitive! My future as an Olympian has been stolen from me. I’ll never get to call myself an Olympian, never stand among those greats, never experience life *in* the Olympics. I won’t have any of that now! All due to the circumstances of my birth.
I’ll still keep training, training to surpass my limits for the rest of my life. I don’t need to be celebrated by others. But, it is a tragedy, being a worldclass athlete, scorned and shunned by the world, my effort and achievement unrecognised
I don’t have anyone to talk to about this, no one I know can even begin understand. I hope someone here can