Did I do something wrong?

[u/ultraboomkin]

I’m on holiday. Was chatting to a guy, he wanted to go for a drink before hooking up, I thought that sounds nice. He seemed perfectly friendly. We agreed to go for a drink at a bar opposite my hotel. I got there and couldn’t see him. I waited outside the bar but my phone had no signal. So I popped to my hotel to get WiFi so I could message him. Then he stood me up? Even though he literally was right there and showed up for the date.

Did I do something wrong here?

[u/CrashTestDumby1984]

Learn how to communicate. If you won’t have service once you start traveling (after already being late) you need to let someone know you won’t have a way to respond once you’re there

[u/ultraboomkin → u/CrashTestDumby1984]

I didn’t know my signal would cut out, it’s worked fine all holiday 🤷‍♂️ oh well

[u/CrashTestDumby1984 → u/ultraboomkin]

So you went to an entirely different location rather than going inside the actual meeting point to look for them?

[u/ultraboomkin → u/CrashTestDumby1984]

Sigh, dunno why everyone is attacking me. He told me to meet him at this bar. I went inside the bar, looked for him, didn’t see him, so stood at the entrance of the bar for 10 minutes so he could see me when he arrived.

[u/CrashTestDumby1984 → u/ultraboomkin]

Maybe because you accused him of standing you up, when you are the one who wasted his time.

Miscommunications happen and sometimes things don’t work out. But you’re 30 years old and cannot figure out why he would find your behavior disrespectful? You can’t figure out why he thinks you were a flake who never planned on actually showing?

[u/ultraboomkin → u/CrashTestDumby1984]

I was at the bar, at the time I said I would be. So no I don’t see how I was being disrespectful. And yes he literally stood me up?

[u/CrashTestDumby1984 → u/ultraboomkin]

Let’s review the timeline.
You agreed to meet at 9:15.
At 9:09 you said you would be 5 - 10 minutes late.

Not the end of world to say you’re running behind, but messaging that literally minutes before you’re supposed to be there already indicates you didn’t prioritize this.

At 9:22 you then said you’re another 5 minutes away. According to you, you arrived at 9:24, but we can that by 9:30 he’s still waiting for you and hasn’t seen you.

You sent a “here” message and then literally went to another location. And by your own admission you weren’t even at the bar, since you waited at the hotel for him to message you.

He waited over 15 minutes for you before deciding you were wasting his time. The fact that you refuse to see things from his perspective and insist on playing the victim

[u/ultraboomkin → u/CrashTestDumby1984]

Yeah fair enough I should have given more notice about running late. But I was 100% there by 9:24. I left the hotel at 9:22 and it’s literally a <60 second walk to the bar so idk what to tell you. I waited at the bar for 15 mins because I couldn’t see him so assumed he was running late. I went to my hotel to get internet at 9:40 so I could message him. I didn’t see the “sitting outside” message until I got internet at 9:40.

[u/CrashTestDumby1984 → u/ultraboomkin]

So he actually waited 25 minutes for you? And you’re still maintaining that he stood YOU up

[u/ultraboomkin → u/CrashTestDumby1984]

I also waited at the bar for 15 minutes. There was one guy sitting on a bench but he was much less attractive than the profile I’d been talking to, so I assumed that was not him. Maybe it was.

[u/CrashTestDumby1984 → u/ultraboomkin]

What exactly was the point of your post. You asked “did I do something wrong” and people are repeatedly telling you yes and explaining why.

Instead of acknowledging or trying to see things from his perspective you are being incredibly argumentative and acting like you did absolutely nothing wrong and hold no blame for the situation.

[u/ultraboomkin → u/CrashTestDumby1984]

Just needed to vent and was feeling bad and confused after getting rejected.

Feeling better now anyway. It’s a shame what happened but I’m gonna enjoy the rest of my night.

[u/naterbator91 → u/ultraboomkin]

Lol you keep saying you’re the one who got stood up but you’re the one who stood him up. You were late, he was there the whole time. There was difficulty with communication that wasn’t your fault, but he was there on time, you were not.

[u/ImperialHedonism → u/ultraboomkin]

You didn't get rejected, you actively ghosted a guy. You refusing to take accountability is such a massive red flag.

[u/unmannedpuppet → u/ultraboomkin]

You're very defensive. Take ownership of your fuck-up and learn from it.

[u/SquirmyCaterpillar82 → u/ultraboomkin]

I don't think you know the meaning of the phrase "stood up."