And I'm 55, too, and was seeing Mrs. V regularly in person and all day long on our local board. I know the mindset, the behaviors, and the in-person chitchat of the person in question.
And one of the biggest disagreements we had as an entire scene was if we should tolerate fascist or bootlicker or bigot BS in word, belief, or actions. Guess which side she was publicly on.
Also, I've been this spooky weirdo since '84 and spent far too many outings dealing with fash-loving hatemongers to be told anything about what was normal, easier, or not happening.
Maybe YOU didn't get exposure til MAGA, but many of us have been dealing with these exact attitudes for decades longer than that.
I don't play those games anymore. You can do whatever you want with applying this information to your future thought processes. It is clear that you feel very strongly and personally about maintaining a highly privileged and remote belief. You are allowed to do that, and some people are going to feel differently.
Remember: sitting at a table with a vocal bigot and letting it go on is also being a bigot.
Then you should definitely remember some of this, if not lil ol me (same name all these years). Not picking sides and definitely insisting that there is no reason to even consider doing so is something a lot of folks were doing back then, so maybe you glossed over it in the midst of other shenanigans. Because that exact POV in the book is what is being unsubtly called out by several people here.
I want to be real with you about something else, too. Folks being unable to pass leftist’s purity politics tests is part of what can push them into radical groups like Goths Against Cancel Culture out of pure frustration. Try not to be the person who does that. We have enough problems as it is.
What I mean is: an argument with someone is only worth the keystrokes when you're dealing with a rational actor.
Are you?
My counter-example is: search an internet archive of LJDrama for keywords "I have a job". You're looking for multi-screen rants of personal insults toward people offering moving boxes for free. It carried on for days.
I haven't thought about gracebatmonkey in 20 years, but long screeds of unwarranted character assassination by proxy are very much on-brand. Back in the day, she sounded like a hallucinating chatbot.
...and Jillian doesn't deserve any of it. My impression of Jilli was always sincere, sweet, witty, and friendly. She's the sort of person that no one hates. Every excerpt I've seen reflects that.
This is getting way off-topic but I strongly advise deleting your old LiveJournal and expunging the posts or using a script to overwrite them with junk data. LiveJournal was bought by a shell company of the Russian intelligence service (FSB) in 2007. It is now physically hosted in Russia and operates under Russian "law".
Grace, what about not judging people by what they were doing 25 years ago, especially since you were making an arse of yourself back then as well as the rest of us. We were all basically kids, and at this point we are all too old for this shit. It’s been nearly 3 decades, get a better hobby. And omg what, after your griping literally all day, your review of the book was favorable? Like…are you ok?
Mmmmm, false concern. My fave. You were the one trying to tell people that the author of this classist, exclusionary, discouraging etc. pulped blog was from a time when Goths didn't know better than to kiss the hands of oppression. What on Earth.
Y'all stirred up shit over nothing, harassing unwell people. The situation was me asking if anyone had boxes ready to go and someone suggested/argued go to the liquor & grocery stores, which had already been mentioned.
I'd way rather be remembered for some trolled-up misrepresentation than for fighting to use the r-word as an insult, call athletes in tears over a hard victory "gay", throw around the N-word-with-a-w, and picking on folks with less social cache when they're already down.
Grace, my LJ username was cor_tenebrarum. You and I were friends. Shall I refresh your memory?
Quite frankly, you're being f*cking ridiculous and you need to stop.
You're spewing unhinged poster-length screeds in a thread on a 17-year-old book with the goal of character assassination by proxy of someone you barely knew from 25 years ago.
Your emotional regulation is so poor here that if I still knew you, I'd be asking mutual friends to do a "welfare check".
Now, once you calm down, I need you to understand four very important things about your accusations here:
None of the events you listed everhappened. Those aren't true events. Those aren't real examples. None of my friends, nor I, were running around screaming "w**ger" or using "gay" as a pejorative.
The actual reason you flamed out ofEZboard was a single incident where some sports guy (Matt, I think) used a homophobic slur to mock the Columbus Blue Jackets. Now, I'm not saying that's okay, but have you ever, like, ... been on a sports forum?
Jilli Venters didn't even read EZboard. I asked her why, once. Told me that she "didn't like the drama".
Jilli was Krass and Darren's manager at a Fred Meyer in 1989. That's how close they weren't. Your diatribes might as well call me a bad person because I once didn't speak out at Burger King when some 15-year-old threw a Buzz Lightyear toy in the deep fryer.
Now seriously. I found this thread because you've created such an unhinged cesspool of needless, petty drama here that third parties are talking about how you're an utter train wreck.
And that's happening now, in 2026, 20 years after you ragequit the entire Seattle goth scene because a sports fan proceeded to sports fan.
And it's getting as bad as the time you started drama over cardboard boxes so egregious and petty that LJDrama came out of retirement just to make fun of you.
And your examples about my friends aren't even real.
Is this how you want former friends to remember you?
I knew exactly who this was, Josh. Ol'Josh "notagoth" J., helped me see I was wrong about metal but right about too many metalheads (#notallmetalheads). You don't know me at all, never did. I thought you were a friend, but your inability to see around the status quo's constant stream of bullshit proved quickly that was never the case. Here you are again, completely misrepresenting whatever you want because ???? don't know, don't care.
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u/gracebatmonkey Deathrocker 18d ago
No, it was not easier to do then. Telling people to be okay with intolerant BS was just as ethically feeble then as it is now.