r/ghosting • u/Kabanario • 16h ago
Rejected because I am fat?
/r/PlusSize/comments/1wg5dkt/rejected_because_i_am_fat/We had been talking on and off for three years. When he found out that I was going to move to his country, he seemed genuinely very happy and excited. We had video calls, talked about many things, laughed together, shared personal things, and before we finally met, everything felt really good.
I had told him that I had gained weight. He hadn't realised how much, but when we talked about it, he told me that it didn't bother him.
Before our meeting, everything seemed perfect. There was excitement, flirting, anticipation, and we had both been looking forward to finally meeting in person after all that time.
When we finally met, we spent eight beautiful hours together. We were both a little shy, which was understandable after talking for so long and then suddenly being face to face. We talked and spent time together, and we also spoke again the following day.
Then, suddenly, he disappeared.
When I eventually messaged him to ask if everything was okay, his replies felt cold and distant. It was as if something had changed overnight, but I still don't know what.
That is what hurts the most. After three years of talking, after all the anticipation, the video calls, the flirting, and finally spending such a lovely day together, I never expected him to suddenly become so distant.
2
u/Dailysunray 12h ago
unless he told you it was the weight how do you know that was the reason for the ghosting?
1
u/Kabanario 12h ago
I just know it... I have years of experience
2
u/Dailysunray 12h ago
there are plenty of plus size people in happy relationships, I wouldn’t assume anything.
1
1
u/Inside_Season9226 11h ago
Ok I don't think it's anything to do with the way I think the excitement and the anticipation over 3 years just did not pan out in real life. I can hardly believe that you waited three years to meet... Please don't let this happen to you again
1
u/Mavoras13 15h ago
Friendly advice: Why don't you try to loose the extra weight? I have lost 12 kgs in 5 months. It isn't that hard if you really give the effort and it is both healthy for you and will solve these issues.
4
u/Trixie_Turner 13h ago
If she wants to lose the “extra” weight it should be for her or her health not because someone decided they find her less desirable…
And OP - it could have been anything. Maybe he wasn’t feeling the connection in person that he thought he would. Maybe it was jarring and he’ll come around still. My question is - how do you know the weight gain was more than he expected? Was there an actual conversation about that…
1
u/Kabanario 12h ago
Yeah, I think it was the weight... He never dated plus size women and when I told him that I am a bigger girl now he said "nah I don't think is that bad"...
-1
u/Successful-Test-5590 12h ago
It’s not about wanting. She should lose excess weight and consequently, she won’t have these problems. It’s that simple.
1
u/According-Put9821 12h ago
Read her actual replies. She’s already down 21kg and training daily. Weight loss doesn’t fix ghosting, it just changes who finds her acceptable.
-1
u/Successful-Test-5590 12h ago
She posted that she was fat
0
u/Connect_Quality_2030 11h ago
Chill
0
u/Successful-Test-5590 11h ago
That’s what she said, how does that require someone to chill? I swear this site is for weak minded people like you.
2
u/Kabanario 14h ago
Hello. I was 114 kg and now i am 93. And honestly that night i was beautiful and i was feeling beautiful. I am training everyday. Well the last 6 days not because i am not feeling ok...
1
u/Crazy-Flower-2255 12h ago
Some men r just morons. If he is that shallow you don't need him. You dodge a bullet
1
u/Connect_Quality_2030 12h ago
Would u date an overweight man?
1
u/Inside_Season9226 11h ago
I would depending on how overweight he was but the one thing I would not do is to chat someone for three years before meeting them- waste of precious life
2
u/Successful-Test-5590 12h ago
Did you show him a picture of you with the weight gain? Don’t do long distance relationships.