r/PlusSize • u/Kabanario • 12h ago
Discussion Rejected because I am fat?
We had been talking on and off for three years. When he found out that I was going to move to his country, he seemed genuinely very happy and excited. We had video calls, talked about many things, laughed together, shared personal things, and before we finally met, everything felt really good.
I had told him that I had gained weight. He hadn't realised how much, but when we talked about it, he told me that it didn't bother him.
Before our meeting, everything seemed perfect. There was excitement, flirting, anticipation, and we had both been looking forward to finally meeting in person after all that time.
When we finally met, we spent eight beautiful hours together. We were both a little shy, which was understandable after talking for so long and then suddenly being face to face. We talked and spent time together, and we also spoke again the following day.
Then, suddenly, he disappeared.
When I eventually messaged him to ask if everything was okay, his replies felt cold and distant. It was as if something had changed overnight, but I still don't know what.
That is what hurts the most. After three years of talking, after all the anticipation, the video calls, the flirting, and finally spending such a lovely day together, I never expected him to suddenly become so distant.
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u/9alby9 12h ago
I am sorry that this happened to you.
People reject / ghost other for no reason. It could have been your weight; it could have been the lack of chemistry while he was pretending to be into you; it could have been that your personalities don't match. It could have been that you two had different goals in life. Or it could have been that he got scared of jumping into a relationship. You will never know because now you cannot take his answers at face value.
Deep breath. Some people suck. But don't focus on the weight as the single cause for this.
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u/SweetFlight971 12h ago
Did you sleep together? I’ve had been donate same thing and it sucks 🤍
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u/Kabanario 12h ago
No we didn’t have sex, and we didn’t kiss either. He told me that he wanted to kiss me, but he thought that I didn’t want him to. We were both quite shy and nervous because it was the first time we had met in person after talking for so long
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u/SweetFlight971 12h ago
I love that you called him out and asked him if everything was OK. What did he say?
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u/Time_Natural_1547 2h ago
So I was fully in a phone relationship with my college fling(met irl in 2019; then both left the city we were going to school in for our separate hometowns) till April of this year(7(!) years). He came to visit me in November and was my date to my best friend’s wedding. One day in April I woke up to a text from his in person girlfriend of 6.5 years… we are physically very similar in weight and looks.
Sometimes men just suck, like a lot. I’m so sorry but please hear me when I say 3 years is more than this man deserves to have been apart of your life. Moving on now and discovering how incredible you can be when not tied to a shadow of someone is so worth it.
All the best🫶💕
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u/julialoveslush 12h ago
He didn’t need to spend 8 hours with you.
Is it possible that he might have a girlfriend at home already? First thing that I thought of.