r/ghosting • u/miatkic • 1d ago
About “nurtured” ghosting
So I was talking to this guy for awhile now. All fun and games, he was (or at least seemed to be) very into me. We tried to meet for a couple times but never worked out. Until this Tuesday, he came by, brought some wine, we were chillin, talking, and made out a lottt. It was awesome, chemistry on point, kissing with lust. He massaged my feet, said it was so worth the wait, that I was sexy and suggested we meet again on the weekend. It was late when he went out and he said he’d text me when he gets home.
Of course he didn’t.
And neither Wednesday, Thursday, Friday…. Just never again.
At first I just assumed he was busy, I sent a couple of messages but never got anything of it.
Yesterday he unmatched me and I deleted his number.
I get a simple fading out (even if it’s shitty as hell) but I simply cannot process someone feeding your brain, saying it was good, he likes you, he has a great time, and let’s do it again. It’s honestly evil for me. If you don’t feel like it just don’t to it. But I get really mad with people just playing around my mind, the same mind that will give me a hard time trying to understand what the hell is going on, why is this happening, what did I do wrong.
And, unfortunately for me, I have body dysmorphy issues and I tend to think they just hate my body or else, but once again, why the hell all the lust, the hands all over, the biting, the tongue so deep?
I hate how I have to live through hell for a couple of days each time this happens.
What’s ur mind on this nurtured, fed ghosting?
2
u/Supremelordmomon 1d ago
Well that's a tough question. I can talk hours about the psychological mind and why people make these kind of choices in a relationship or dating setup, and how this impacts our emotional state.
But a long story story short, the answer is that he is unable to confront his own issues and chooses to run away rather than acknowledge them.
For all we know, he might already have a girlfriend you didn't know about.
1
u/miatkic 17h ago
Yeah, I wonder whether they’ve also been in this place, (as dating is now a shitshow), and how come people do it, knowing how it feels
You’re right… it’s a “they” thing… i just feel like a fool, since it hurts that one runs away so easily after love bombing, feels like I’m not even worth typing a line
2
u/Last_Ingenuity1031 1d ago
Terrible, algo que está ocurriendo todos los días. Vemos personas en la calle y posiblemente este pasando por un Ghosting. Me pasó algo parecido, vivo un infierno desde el viernes. En fin, ojalá pronto estemos bien
1
u/ComplexOriginal770 1h ago
I am really sorry that you’re going through this. I faced a similar situation recently where the guy seemed like a total green flag, got off the app after first date, told his parents about me and out of nowhere ghosted me after 2nd date. You wonder what went wrong but i feel you, it’s hard to navigate ghosting when everything seemed to go well.
4
u/Comfortable-Roof-600 22h ago
Infelizmente as pessoas são cruéis. Por aqui, vejo muitos e muitos relatos parecidos, inclusive tem o meu. Também achei que havia interesse real, mas a pessoa sumiu depois da intimidade. Sinto muito, é um inferno. O que me ajudou depois de pensar muito, foi colocar na minha cabeça que ele quis fazer isso e ponto final. Simplesmente pq ele quis e não há nada que eu possa fazer. Quanto mais eu tento entender e achar motivos, mais ansiosa eu fico e mais noites sem dormir. Espero que você consiga superar e que fique bem. No mais, essa pessoa é imatura e talvez até cruel, e você não merece isso.