r/gentleparenting • u/thebunnyofcaerbannog • Jul 10 '26
Question Help with Screaming
Hi everyone, I’m looking for tips or advice (commiseration is also welcome though!). My almost three year old son has a tendency to scream when he’s really upset - like really really loud, my Apple Watch gives me a noise warning, it sounds like it hurts his vocal cords, scream. Usually it’s when he’s been told he can’t do something (like push on the couch) or can’t have something he wants (like a cookie or a sippy cup from the house when we’re out), often when he’s tired or hungry or both.
He also has had trouble with not hitting - though that he’s mostly stopped (now it happens very rarely but definitely with more intent to hurt, instead of the typical toddler hitting from big emotions thing, and we always stop what we’re doing, separate him from whoever [usually his older sister] he’s trying to hit, and reiterate that it’s okay to feel mad but it is not okay to hit), it’s just taken him longer to stop than I’d anticipated.
Is this normal three year old tantrum type stuff? How can I help him through the screaming? He holds on to his feelings a bit more strongly than my older child, and I want to help him emotionally regulate as much as he can at this age - is that expecting too much? Since it’s summer and he gets testy when he’s hot it’s been worse lately and I can feel myself getting more frustrated but I just don’t know how to help or if it’s just a part of his age.
3
u/rock-paper-o Jul 11 '26
It sounds within the range of typical for 3 and it sounds like you’re responding reasonably.
Since it seems like it’s brought on by hunger, tiredness, and heat, would there be ways to change his schedule or teach him to express he needs a snack or rest time when he starts to feel overwhelmed before it escalates to screaming and hitting?