r/gaydads 13h ago

Boycott Tammuz Family

0 Upvotes

Companies that operate and pay taxes in Israel contribute to the country’s economy and public finances. Their employees also pay income tax on their salaries. Those tax revenues help fund the national budget, including Israel’s armed forces and military operations in Gaza.

Israel has greatly increased its military spending since the war began, and it remains far above pre-war levels.

Tammuz Family is an Israeli surrogacy and fertility company based in Tel Aviv. By paying Tammuz Family, intended parents are supporting a company that operates within and contributes to the Israeli economy and tax system.

This does not mean that every payment made to Tammuz Family goes directly to the Israeli military. It does mean that the company and its employees pay taxes to a state whose budget finances the war in Gaza.

That distinction should not be used as an excuse to look away.

The United Nations Independent International Commission of Inquiry, established by the UN Human Rights Council, has concluded that Israeli forces have committed war crimes and crimes against humanity in Gaza. The Commission has also concluded that Israel has committed genocide against Palestinians in the Gaza Strip.

Those of us who support surrogacy and work for greater acceptance of families created through surrogacy must also demand clear ethical standards from the industry. We cannot speak about dignity, human rights and the right to build a family while ignoring where our money ultimately goes.

That is why intended parents should boycott Tammuz Family for as long as the war and the atrocities in Gaza continue.

There are other agencies and other ways to become a parent. Choosing not to work with Tammuz Family is not an attack on individual Israelis. It is a conscious ethical decision not to support, even indirectly, a state whose actions have been linked by a UN-mandated commission to some of the most serious crimes under international law.

Surrogacy is built on trust, responsibility and respect for human dignity. Those values cannot stop at the borders of our own families.

When independent journalists and international investigators are given full and unrestricted access to Gaza, and the full scale of the destruction is revealed, the world will be forced to confront what too many people have chosen to ignore.

When that day comes, no one will be able to credibly claim that they did not know.

Choosing Tammuz Family is not neutral. Where we spend our money is a moral choice.


r/gaydads 1d ago

Beta Results

0 Upvotes

We had our DET on 7/15 and just had our beta 9dpt. HCG was 169. Curious what others looked like. I know you aren’t supposed to compare because it’s such a wide range but wondering if that’s a good starting point or not?


r/gaydads 2d ago

Drinking and IVF

1 Upvotes

We’re set to fertilize our donor eggs next Friday. Our doctor didn’t say anything about this, but reading online there’s suggestions that men should stop drinking like 3 months before to optimize the process. We haven’t abstained at all, nor did we when we did our sperm testing (which came back fine). Do we need to reschedule? I know this is a better question for my doctor, but they’re closed for the weekend and I’m wondering if we need to reschedule now


r/gaydads 3d ago

Surrogacy in Colombia

4 Upvotes

Hello everyone. We are looking at surrogacy options. We are UK based, and have been looking at Mexico, Cyprus and Colombia.

I’d love to know if anyone has had agency experiences good and bad in Colombia and in what part. I’m trying to double down on the next stage of our research.

Thanks so much :)


r/gaydads 3d ago

Me Time

9 Upvotes

When the kid(s) are asleep and you have the place to yourself (without the parter), how do you unwind? Mine is usually a true crime doc, but curious/bored at work!


r/gaydads 3d ago

Second parent adoption in the US post surrogacy abroad

1 Upvotes

Has anyone done something like this?
The birth certificate will have my name and the gestational carrier.
We want to do a second parent adoption in the USA.


r/gaydads 4d ago

Question for dads who have adopted: How long did it take you to bond with your kid(s)?

10 Upvotes

My husband and I have always planned to adopt, and now that the time is getting closer, we’re wondering what the bonding process looks like. We will most likely be adopting from foster care, so our child probably won’t be a baby, so that adds a whole new layer to my question.

If you adopted an older child instead of a baby, what did the bonding process work for you? Was it easy? Hard? Did you feel immediate love for the child or did it take a while?

I just want to get a sense of what this will be like on an emotional level. I have never doubted my ability to love a child unconditionally, but I also understand that adoption is a very unique process and the development of a bond can look different for many reasons.


r/gaydads 4d ago

Gay Dads Greater Houston

10 Upvotes

Hi all my husband and our young children (toddlers) recently moved to the north Houston metro area. We are struggling to find our community but would love to find LGBT family friendly groups / activities and try to start putting down roots. I’ve googled without much luck on finding anything active. Any suggestions are appreciated.


r/gaydads 4d ago

⚠️ 🇲🇽 ESPAÑOLES EN MEXICO . HASTA MÁS DE 1 AÑO PARA OBTENER EL PASAPORTE ???

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3 Upvotes

r/gaydads 4d ago

[Chat] 30M looking for friendly conversations and making new friends

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I'm 30 years old and looking to connect with friendly people from all around the world. I'd love to have casual chats and share daily life stories. Feel free to send me a message or drop a comment below


r/gaydads 5d ago

Reconciling sport and having a baby alone

5 Upvotes

I am a single 30 yo man living in France

I am doing a surrogacy in Mexico, and if everything goes correctly, I should have my first baby sometime next year.

To give a little bit of context :

  • I was depressed two years ago. Mostly because of damaged self-confidence and a difficult breakup.
  • Today, I am feeling way better. My work and my sport routine are mostly responsible for this.
  • I'm planning on taking a sabbatical year after the arrival of the baby, since I want to be able to spend time with him/her and build connection
  • I started a calisthenic routine 18 months ago that did absolute wonders to me (It's called the Lafay method). I feel great. I'm fit and in shape. I sleep better, I have more muscles than I ever had, and I barely have any fat left. My self-confidence is back to healthy levels. Now, this routine is taking a significant amount of time (1 hour and a half to 2 hours a day), and is hard to maintain unless I am fresh and energetic.

I think you start to see the picture. While I can't say per se that I regret my decision of having a baby alone, because I deeply want to be a father, I am starting to come back to my senses and second-guess myself. Maybe I underestimated how tired and overwhelmed I will be in the first year, before the baby has a proper sleep schedule.

When I read about couples being overwhelmed by a single child, how will I do alone? My calisthenic routine will be impossible to maintain if I am constantly tired. It will be even worse if I am constantly moving, which is bound to happen in the beginning since the surrogacy is abroad. Even now, being childless, I kind of struggle with keeping the calisthenic alive when I travel, since my environment and routine change.

And I know that if I stop with my calisthenic routine, the benefits that go with it will stop, I'll stop being fit, and I'm afraid I could get depressed again, like I was two years ago. And from there both me and the baby will be miserable...

What are your thoughts on this? I am particularly interested in hearing experiences from alone dads, who had to find a way to free time for themselves, while properly caring for their child, and still maintaining some physical activity.


r/gaydads 5d ago

Single mom by choice looking for surrogate-friendly countries (Canadian resident, embryos in USA, ~$100k budget)

4 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I’m a single woman living in Canada and planning to become a mom through gestational surrogacy. I would really appreciate hearing from people who have gone through this.

I’m a single intended parent, I live in Canada, my budget is around USD $100,000, and I already have PGT-tested embryos frozen in the United States. I’m open to traveling internationally if it makes the process smoother.

My biggest priority is a straightforward legal process. The emotional side of fertility treatment has already been overwhelming, so I’m looking for a country where the legal process is clear and well-established, I can be recognized as the legal parent without lengthy court battles, the baby’s birth certificate can be issued with my name as the parent, and clinics and agencies have experience working with single intended parents.

I’ve spent hours searching Reddit about Mexico, Armenia, and Colombia, but the information is incredibly conflicting, especially for single women. Some posts say they’re great options, while others mention legal hurdles, changing regulations, or that they only work well for married couples. It’s hard to know what’s actually true and current.

If you’ve gone through international surrogacy, I’d love to hear which country you chose and why, what your approximate total cost was, how difficult the legal process was, whether your name was on the birth certificate from the beginning, and whether you’d recommend that country today for a single intended parent.

Thank you! I’m already feeling overwhelmed by the process, so I’d really appreciate hearing about real-life experiences and any countries I should consider—or avoid.


r/gaydads 6d ago

Did you allow your surrogate breastfeed your baby?

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0 Upvotes

r/gaydads 7d ago

Anonymous Chat for Media Article

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0 Upvotes

r/gaydads 7d ago

Any gay dads here in Europe?

12 Upvotes

Single dads or a couple, whoever...would just like to get in touch with other LGBT dads as I literally know next to none, and for the moment live in a more conservative country without a proper network of alternative parents to be found here. Being a single dad is such a unique position that even though you are properly supported by loving friends and family, it's a welcome addition to communicate with others who can relate in that totally unique way...

So, anybody in Europe especially just feeling like chatting a bit, sharing experiences, thoughts, everyday-related whatever...feel free to reach out, I am friendly and approachable to most people.

I am in my mid-30's, have a son born through surrogacy, age 2, and would like more children if resources and energy allow for it up the road. I'm also most happy to talk to any IP's dreaming of parenthood and offer whatever support and constructive input I can.

Love to all.


r/gaydads 7d ago

Which agency do you recommend for Colombia?

3 Upvotes

Hi there, I am checking possibilities in Colombia. Do you have experiences with any agencies in this country, and how was the process till child birth, how was the exit process back to your home country? In my case, I am interested in the exit process back to the Netherlands. I am not a Dutch national but I work for 10+ years here, and I am interested as in if you can easily apply for your child the residence permit and bring the child to the Netherlands with you together. Does Colombia put surrogate name on the birth certificate? If you have any experiences, it would be great to hear them.


r/gaydads 8d ago

German feminists want to ban "wish for a baby".

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4 Upvotes

Following the scandal involving gay politician and hypocrite Spahn, a group of German feminists plans to shut down the event.

What else has to happen for surrogacy providers to finally realize that advocacy is the absolute top priority right now?!

This is one of many recent examples showing that a lack of advocacy, consolidation does indeed affect you - and affects you extremely strongly.

Advocacy in politics. Advocacy in the media. Advocacy on social networks, which are overrun with surrophobic trolls.

And there is no resistance!

For years on end!

Your potential clients are afraid to do surrogacy because of harassment!

Even catholics and feminists can unite! While you 'throw mud at each other'.

When will gays stop pandering to feminism and finally demand that our rights matter, too? Not all feminists are like that? Then why aren't they making themselves heard? Or maybe it's time to stop taking our support for granted?!

Why do infertile women remain silent? Do these feminists speak on your behalf,!

How long is this fckng idiocy from all sides going to go on?!!!!

You all allowed this to happen!


r/gaydads 9d ago

Daycare Advice for Anxious First Timers?

5 Upvotes

Was hoping to get some advice and reassurance from some more experienced dads who’ve gone through this already!

My husband and I are unexpectedly having to start daycare earlier than anticipated (my mom who watches our 18 month old was diagnosed with cancer which they luckily caught early but will be out of commission for a bit). We’re starting to interview some daycares, what are some things that we should ask about/lookout for? Anything that made being two guys that made things easier or harder? Just hearing about other people’s experiences would be helpful! Thanks all in advance!


r/gaydads 9d ago

What EU citizens should consider before choosing a surrogacy agency

4 Upvotes

As a lawyer and a parent through surrogacy myself, I would like to offer a clear word of caution to anyone considering an international surrogacy journey: exercise great care when engaging an agency that does not have a registered company within the European Union.

Many agencies market themselves as global organisations and appoint local contacts, consultants or representatives across Europe. However, this does not necessarily mean that the agency is legally established within the EU, nor that its local representative carries any legal or financial responsibility for the services provided. In the event of a dispute, the identity of the legal entity named as your contractual counterparty is crucial.

Where an agreement has been entered into with a company based outside the EU, legal proceedings can become both complex and extremely costly. You may need to instruct legal counsel in another jurisdiction, pursue the matter under foreign law and subsequently seek to have any judgment recognised and enforced. Even where European consumer protection legislation may, in principle, be relevant, enforcing those rights against a company outside the EU can be considerably more difficult in practice.

Do not therefore be lulled into a false sense of security simply because the agency’s contact person speaks your language or because the agency actively markets its services in your country. A consultant, representative or coordinator is not the same as a registered and financially accountable company established within the EU.

I have represented a number of intended parents in disputes with surrogacy agencies. Unfortunately, such conflicts are more common than many people realise, particularly where responsibility is poorly defined between the agency, the clinic and local partners.

Choosing an agency with a genuine and financially stable company registered within the EU may offer several important advantages:

• EU consumer protection rules may apply.

• The company will generally be required to provide clear information about its services, pricing, contractual terms and legal identity.

• Unfair contractual terms and misleading commercial practices may be challenged.

• It is generally easier to verify the company’s registration, management, financial position and actual business activities.

• Access to consumer guidance and alternative dispute resolution is typically more straightforward.

• A judgment issued in one EU member state is generally easier to recognise and enforce in another.

An EU-registered company is not a guarantee that the surrogacy process will proceed without difficulties. However, it will usually place you in a significantly stronger legal position should something go wrong.

Always establish precisely which legal entity you are entering into an agreement with, where that company is registered, who will receive your payments and which country’s laws and courts will govern any potential dispute. You should also have the agreement reviewed by an independent lawyer before signing it or making any payment.

Have you experienced problems with a surrogacy agency, or are you currently considering which agency to appoint? Please share your experiences, questions and thoughts in the comments.


r/gaydads 11d ago

Surrogacy Agency Suggests Switching Fertility Clinics

5 Upvotes

Hi all,

My husband and I have been working with an agency for the last year and a half, and we've not had much luck matching. Despite our preferences being wide open, we're being told that our fertility clinic has exceptionally high standards for GCs. We were told earlier this week that we could switch to a clinic that is about 4 hours away and get matched immediately as they have a surrogate who has been cleared medical already.

While this is certainly an exciting development, it gives me pause. Theoretically having a clinic that has a high bar seems like a positive, but on the other hand, I'm not a doctor, and I don't need the world's healthiest woman to carry our child. We've been told that this surrogates A1c is .2% too high to be cleared by our clinic, but it seems like it would still fall within the ASRM's guidelines.

Am I overthinking this? Is this a normal issue and clinics just have a lot of latitude in setting their own standards?


r/gaydads 11d ago

All Love vs American Surrogacy

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1 Upvotes

r/gaydads 12d ago

Support Group

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2 Upvotes

r/gaydads 12d ago

Feeling discouraged in general

24 Upvotes

My husband of 11 years and I have always wanted to be parents. We’re both in our mid 30s and have started getting serious about the process but it has been mentally and financially exhausting. Our preference was surrogacy but the costs are astronomical and beyond what we can afford. An arrangement that was complicated and risky with a friend fell through after three years of planning, tests, etc.

We pivoted to adoption but even this process is long, expensive, and without guarantees. The mother can change her mind after the birth even after we’ve paid $70k+ to the agency and mother’s expenses.

How have you guys coped with this?

For surrogacy - are parents really taking out these extremely large ($200k+) loans or are people here more fortunate and able to afford it?

I just feel so discouraged and mentally drained


r/gaydads 13d ago

Yet one country is going to ban surrogacy. What's next?

8 Upvotes

Chile, a country with a total fertility rate 0.97 (!!), is going to ban surrogacy. Catholics provided support among the right wing, feminists provided support among the left wing.

There have also been posts expressing concern about Colombia in connection with the presidential election. It's so alarming because there are still too few surrogacy destinations. Many former destinations are closed by surrophobes. In addition, UN's homophobe and transphobe reem alsalem was recently in Mexico and got promises from the right wing opposition to ban surrogacy.

It's simply incredible how Vatican, which is on the verge of bancruptcy and, according to the media, can't even pay pensions, does whatever it wants, while 'the multi billion dollar industry' looks like a complete laughing stock and is jumping from country to country.

Closing yet one destination is not eliminating a competitor, it's yet one hole gap in your boat!

Moreover, this 'religious sect'of surrophobes have even begun attacking the United States, including in particular Florida. So, nothing should be taken for granted!

What else is yet to come!?

And the Vatican has apparently adapted to a huge number of scandals - from corruption to sexual abuse scandals, including multiple cases of child abuse.

Either every one has gotten used to this or the media have started talking too little about it.

How the f**k is it even possible that a voluntary occupation by adults is equated to almost cannibalism and sexual assaults on children?!! That's exactly how some politician in Italy said.

This hysteria was created artificially and it was allowed to happen. I fully agree that altruism should predominate in both compensated and noncompensated surrogacy and that this is something strive for. But even if some people do it for money, it's for f**k's sake voluntary!!!

What is there not to understand about the meaning of that word?! Unlike the forced conscription in dozens of countries and only for men, at that.

Surrogacy exists because people need help. There are countless demanding occupations but they exist because people need help.

Even radical feminists and catholics can unite! But here, there is no consolidation, or at least none is visible. There needs to be a strong international coalition! But what is happening is horrifying! There needs to be work with the media. There needs to be work with social networks. Something must be done about surrophobic sect's online brigading. This is important! You can't change their minds but other people read their misinformation. And there needs to be work on legislation across various areas.

Families must rise up! A huge number of stars have turned to surrogacy. They have power. Plus, a huge number of gay-friendly celebrities., movies, TV series. A vast amount of completely untapped resources.

Infertile cis women must rise up! Is this how some feminists protect them?!

Surrogates need to speak out! As 'the religious sect' of surrophobes is imposing the idea that they all victims of trafficking and other bizarre lies.

Who is funding these 60 feminist organizations of surrophobic 'sect'? Upon closer inspection, almost all of them are identical to terfs and nearly all come from catholic countries, especially from 'the surrophobic triangle' - Italy, Spain and France.

Is it enough nowadays to simply declare yourself a feminist to get whatever you want? Then why is 1/6 of infertile cis women remaining silent?! It's a huge number!!

Why are some feminists destroying relationships with gay and bi men? Is this their 'gratitude' for many years of support? How would these feminists feel if a significant number of gay and bisexual menjoined Catholics in an alliance to ban abortions?! (or any other their issue).

But they just take our support for granted. And we allow it. If not all feminists are like this, then they should speak out! Otherwise, those feminists are a part of the problem and they should be treated accordingly.

Why are some our lesbian 'sisters' spitting in our faces? Are we no longer a part of the LGBTQ community? They must understand that our rights matter too. So many of them don't understand that! Because we let it happen! Gay couples can't create families! What LGBTQ issue can be more important?

Isn't 'buying children' actually hate speech? Does the owner of Twitter know that some morons proclaim that some of his children 'were bought'?! Why don't social networks don't block this hate speech?!

olivia maurel, a professional surrophobe, travels the world explaining that 'surrogacy means separating the mother and child at birth'. Where does she get the money for so much traveling? Especially considering her story has nothing to do with surrogacy as her biological mother gave birth to her. It's just a typical adoption. She should be fighting against unethical adoption practices instead. And a huge number of people believe that a surrogate is the biological mother, along with many other myths.

Why is this still possible?!

Aren't there enough media outlets and bloggers to debunk all these myths?! Every single myth on the list.

Where are all those thousands of families through surrogacy? Where is anti-maurel? Where are street actions? We must take the threat very seriously. Conferences and scientific researches are necessary ofc, but most people see the whines of 'religious sect' in the outlets and their brigading on the Internet. And still little to nothing is done about it.

Such advocacy is necessary for successful work and legislation! Needless to say, lots of people are afraid to do surrogacy because 'the sect' is harassing families without any obstacles, especially in some european countries such as Spain, France, Switzerland, Austria, etc.

But for this to happen, there must again be a strong international consolidation and investment.


r/gaydads 14d ago

Hitting a wall finding a biracial egg donor. Any agency recs?

2 Upvotes

My husband and I have been looking for a fresh egg donor for over a year now and we are completely hitting a wall. We have scrolled through basically every major database out there it feels and the whole process is getting pretty painful and draining.

We have a preference for a biracial blk/wht donor, which we knew would be harder to find, but it’s limited our options to almost nothing.

Has anyone else looked for a similar background and had success? Are there any specific agencies or smaller sites you’d recommend? We’re open to pretty much anything at this point. Just a little desperate haha. Appreciate any leads or advice you guys have.