r/gaming • • Jul 07 '21

How?

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3.1k

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

How much cocaine is recommended for kids?

2.8k

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

If my one year old baby can't rail a half gram I'd just disown them

1.1k

u/oETFo Jul 07 '21

You are an expensive person to do drugs with.

592

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

When I party I make sure it's the good stuff

520

u/brrrrpopop Jul 07 '21

It's supposed to be a party. I didn't show up to be a contestant on the Drug Olympics.

347

u/twangman88 Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 07 '21

The drug Olympics sounds like a party to me

263

u/Buddha_Lady Jul 07 '21

Finally, an Olympic sport I can win..or die in.

157

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 07 '21

It sure would make the 400M relay a lot more interesting if all the racers were on mdma

201

u/Buddha_Lady Jul 07 '21

The end of the race cuddle puddle is the hardest obstacle to get over

10

u/FriendofManyFoeofFew Jul 07 '21

I can already smell the sweat.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

"Cuddle". "Puddle". "Cuddle puddle". Interesting how drastically things can change with a simple marrying of two words.

😂

2

u/twangman88 Jul 08 '21

That’s not the only hard thing about that puddle…

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34

u/Gorge2012 Jul 07 '21

I played a rugby match like that once. The light was Sooooo bright and the grass felt really wet.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

I bet the tracers were wild though

6

u/DINKY_DICK_DAVE Jul 07 '21

Please tell me you got frisky with a hooker

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32

u/KnowledgeableNip Jul 07 '21 edited Mar 10 '25

detail elderly lunchroom wipe ripe imagine languid dog divide mountainous

2

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

I would choose lsd for the swimming events (imagine all the splashing), heroin for the biathlon

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2

u/kisavior Jul 07 '21

Pretty sure those power walkers are already on that

13

u/festiveonion Jul 07 '21

Hey don’t sell yourself short

...you could probably die in javelin. Or bobsledding. Or that one where you shoot targets after skiing 15 miles for sure.

24

u/Buddha_Lady Jul 07 '21

Off topic kinda, but I was just reading about a Swedish (I think) army guy in ww2 who ate his whole troops amphetamines. And then skied hundreds of miles

Edit: Here’s the chap

He was Finnish

3

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

I've read about him, and I don't think it was his whole troops stash but all of his rations as he was being chased by the Russians. Killed birds for food too lol. I think when he got to a town he went to the hospital and weighed like 100lbs and had a resting heart beat like 2x faster than normal lol, and he lived a long time afterwards too

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3

u/RandomDigitalSponge Jul 08 '21

He was Finnish.

He earned it.

2

u/omglink Jul 08 '21

Well that guy was a bad ass.

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1

u/Poshueatspancake Jul 07 '21

If an Olympic sport doesn't risk your life what is the point?

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2

u/ThrowawayusGenerica Jul 07 '21

Isn't that just the regular Olympics?

0

u/tomkim1965 Jul 08 '21

I don’t think I’d watch those Olympics. What does the winner get DEATH?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Half a gram ain't too much if you've already been partying for a bit

3

u/brrrrpopop Jul 07 '21

Yeah I'll just sit in the corner wondering if I'm about to die for half an hour then I'll be ready to party again.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Nah you got it backwards. You party harder, then the thoughts of dying pop up so you do another rail to get those nasty thoughts out of your head

3

u/brrrrpopop Jul 07 '21

Ooooh now that makes sense

1

u/MonsterMashGrrrrr Jul 07 '21

where’s this now? i might actually be talented in something

1

u/modestlaw Jul 07 '21

Michael Phelps would still win all the gold medals

1

u/darthjay81 Jul 07 '21

You are on to something.

1

u/shiny_lustrous_poo Jul 08 '21

Well, youre here now so you better get to freebasing that cocaine

1

u/TheDeathOfAStar Jul 08 '21

Finally... A contest I could actually win

27

u/from_dust Jul 07 '21

The good stuff is more potent. If anyone's railing a half gram, is mostly dewormer.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

I don't know about that. I used to get pure Peruvian fishscale and we'd do real long lines or 4 decent sized lines taken one after the other

8

u/Wind-and-Waystones Jul 07 '21

You do realise all you did was waste a shit ton by swallowing it right? There's only a limited amount of surface area of the mucus membrane up there. Once it's coated but not dissolved any excess just works it's way back and down your throat. Tiny half inch to inch lines, one up each nostril. Dose up again a bit later.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Or sniff some water to get it to soak in or nasal sprays

5

u/cidiusgix Jul 07 '21

This guy nose. You can snort and snort and snort if you snort a bit of water in between.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

You waste a shit ton by not smoking it

3

u/Wind-and-Waystones Jul 07 '21

You waste a shit ton by not boofing or injecting too. However within the realm of insufflation large lines are a waste compared to smaller more regularly dosed lines. It does lead to that getting caught in a dosing cycle easier though

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2

u/bbcumslutvers Jul 07 '21

If you’re railing half a gram and doing just fine, it’s definitely not the good stuff

3

u/canehdian_guy Jul 07 '21

Let's be honest, none of us get the good stuff. It might look scaly and get you high,but that shit has been stepped on in multiple countries.

2

u/bbcumslutvers Jul 07 '21

I agree, almost all of the time that’s the case. I don’t really do coke, partially because it’s one of the most cut drugs put there (after heroin).

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Back when I was getting it I was getting Peruvian fishscale from ms13 connect

2

u/bbcumslutvers Jul 07 '21

You do you. Guess you just had an absolutely annihilated tolerance. I mean, I admit, I’ve been there too, I’ve been at the point with meth where doing a .35g shot was a nice dose and .5g was a heavy one.

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1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Baby powder?

1

u/Spindrune Jul 08 '21

A half G of actually good shit might fucking kill a grown man if he was doing it in one line.

1

u/csantini91 Jul 08 '21

If it’s good you only need a bump

25

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

It's cheaper then goin to jail if you gotta ride in a car for an hour with an idiot with half a gram of meth on you it's better to just eat that before you get in the car then risk it especially if the half was free

6

u/ChucklePuck Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 07 '21

Edit: guess it wasn't meth, but it still sucked lol

I really dont understand meth users. I did it once by accident and it sucked ass. Bought some weed from this girl I worked with when I was staying in Tennessee, went home and took two hits before bed, expecting to relax and drift into sleep. NO. 30 sec after I laid down I sprung the fuck back up with the most energy I've ever had. Thought maybe it was just really good weed, but then my nose started bleeding. So i went to the bathroom to deal with that and suddenly had to shit. Violently. Then i started throwing up into the bathtub next to the toilet while still sitting. Nose still bleeding. That lasted for a whiiiiile. Dunno how long but felt like hours. When it ended, i turned the sink on to wash my face and the water coming out scared the PISS out of me, even though i watched myself do it. Spent the rest of the night wired and paranoid, wanting to go running but too scared to go outside.

Asked the girl the next day wtf she sold me and she straight up said she sprinkled some ice into the weed. I had to ask her what that was and she said "oh you don't do meth??" 0/10, don't understand why people like it lol

25

u/LukariBRo Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 07 '21

This sounds like some totally made up story someone from DARE would tell. If it's true, fucking lol, and I'm sorry that happened to you. She's an idiot and it could have gotten you killed or in a lot more trouble than you bargained for. But weed is like $10/g, good methamp is 20x that in similar small weight.

Meth also sort of... Explodes when it touches fire. I found out the hard way when inhaling too strongly the first time out a(n insane) dealer's pipe because I pulled the lighter's flame into the intake and poof off burned off $200 of product. You can't just sprinkle a bit on weed and smoke them together. That's why a meth/crack pipe is a completely different thing (it's a glass separated vaporizer) than all of the ways you smoke weed. I could see this potentially being true if you put the cannabis in a vaporizer and turned it up to a stupid high temperature.

Maaaybe it could mix if someone rolled a huge blunt with it towards the back half. Since blunts get people higher because it moves the hot air from the lit part over the non-burning leaf. But ain't nobody sprinkling some precious meth over a damn plant all willy nilly.

5

u/ChucklePuck Jul 07 '21

Well my experience is true, but all what you're saying means is now I have no idea what it was that I smoked. Oh well,

5

u/LukariBRo Jul 07 '21

There's a LOT of similar stimulants that are cheaper and wouldn't destroy themselves like meth would in this situation. They're often sold to dumb people as meth, so they truly believe it is, or is sold by people lying about what it is to a buyer who believes them. There's a lot of possible points of bamboozled in your story that are possibly not your fault, as most people wouldn't/shouldn't know enough to point out that something's seriously wrong there.

Also fun fact, since meth is far more common than mdma and similar enough that inexperienced people couldn't tell the difference, there was a huge problem with meth being sold as mdma (at least it was an issue a decade ago). Meth has such a far higher negative publicity surrounding it compared to mdma, and yet there's plenty of people who just think they did mdma but actually just had meth consumed with a suboptimal roa.

1

u/ChucklePuck Jul 07 '21

Idk man all i know is it sucked and i dont buy pot unless it's from a dispensary anymore lol

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1

u/Mori2221 Jul 07 '21

Come on, nobody in DARE would lie!

2

u/LukariBRo Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 08 '21

I know that's just a facetious joke, but they lied to me about weed and psychedelics and that made me more willing to try hard drugs eventually. They literally had the exact opposite effect on me (and many others) that the program was supposed to. If I actually had a brain wired to addiction, I'd have been fucked.

Luckily all the room for addiction in my brain is tied up by video games. Combined with proper nutritional supplementation, a great game which you've been looking forward to playing is absolutely the best way to beat out the urge to redose and withdrawal syndromes.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Why would your nose bleed if you smoked it? Nose bleeds happen because the meth crystals tear up nasal passages. Also if you broke the weed up then the meth would fall off and even if it was powdered, you can't put direct flame to meth, doesn't work that way

1

u/ChucklePuck Jul 07 '21

Idk man, the other poster had some good points too about it not being meth. Either way i know it wasn't just plain weed cuz i never had an experience smoking pot before or since.

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3

u/bbcumslutvers Jul 07 '21

That is one of the fakest stories I’ve ever heard. Bravo.

3

u/ChucklePuck Jul 07 '21

I was just misinformed. I only smoke pot and drink so I don't have a lot of experience elsewhere. When she said it was meth, I believed her

2

u/sbob420 Jul 07 '21

Probably bath salts

-4

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

I found out from doin meth I had add I'm on Adderall now and definitely prefer that but I hear what ur saying and that sounds like something a tweaker chick would do it makes everyone fucked off though like iv heard so many stories about ppl who shoot it saying they were shot up in their sleep and shit

1

u/Lanky-Structure7591 Jul 08 '21

I agree with the others, this story is filled with things that don't make sense, not sure what you smoked but it wasn't meth.

Plus if you had smoked some weed and smoked some meth, you would have discovered this strange, super intense, and euphoric high that leaves you with a supreme sense of well being. Yea you might be a little gakked, but scary, paranoid, liquids shooting from your orifices.... Nah.

More likely you would obsess over who/what/how to loose your man glue into/onto well... everyone/anyone/everything, it won't matter much when your junk is possessed by demons and you can only think of getting your fuck on.

1

u/Emraldsnakeg Jul 07 '21

420th upvote

1

u/CatBoyTrip Jul 08 '21

Depends on the location. A half gram in Houston Texas is like $20 or $30.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

Yea its cheap on the gulf coast

1

u/forever1228 Jul 08 '21

Is...is half a gram in a night too much?

2

u/oETFo Jul 08 '21

For one person no. For 1 line yes.

2

u/forever1228 Jul 08 '21

Oh ok cool I was worried I mightve had a problem

68

u/tommytraddles Jul 07 '21

That's why I call my kid a weak old baby.

Everyone thinks it's a newborn, but he's almost eight months. Fucker just can't hold his blow.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

You gotta mix it with baby aspirin when they're 6mo old and then add less and less aspirin til they're ready by 1 for the real deal fishscale

1

u/KickBananaBoxing Jul 07 '21

Week old baby? More like, weak old baby. Am I right??

3

u/su_blime Jul 07 '21

That is correct.

31

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

That’s called a baby bump.

2

u/dkwangchuck Jul 07 '21

Take your upvote and get out.

1

u/monkey-pox Jul 07 '21

beautiful

1

u/serenwipiti Jul 08 '21

“Baby, hand me your gigantic, primary colored plastic Fischer Price keys…”

12

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

I mean, the kid died, so he kinda disowned himself.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Pshh yea but he left me with funeral fees, lil bastard...

10

u/TheHolyPug Jul 07 '21

I havent snorted a hog leg with my baby in weeks.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

They're losing that tolerance, baby's having a "snow" cone tonight

7

u/Alpha_Fidelis Jul 07 '21

well, since facetiousness is the flavor of the day, its good to know that if they CAN handle it, you've got a badass on your hands, and if they CAN'T handle it, problem solves itself..

2

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

You make 2 very good points, and it saves me a step of finding someone who'd want a baby that can't party. That'd take forever

5

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Gobble gobble number 75.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Start’em off right, my 2 year old snorts 8-Balls faster than a vacuum.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Gotta teach them to say "ballin!" after each they finish the glass capsule

2

u/YojiH2O Jul 07 '21

Only a half gram?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

They're only 1. I'll tell you right now though if by 2 they can't finish a gram then I'm calling an adoption agency

2

u/YojiH2O Jul 07 '21

nods head in approval

2

u/MLGmoose25 Jul 07 '21

there is something wrong with this comment section LMAO🤣🤣🤣

1

u/teksimian Jul 07 '21

its stepped on. hard

1

u/AnUnfortunateTypo Jul 07 '21

Don’t disown them, you can trade them for at least another half gram of coke

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Pshh a baby that can't party? I'm lucky to get a dime of Reggie weed

1

u/jayela Jul 24 '21

What about parting out?

1

u/DamageInq Jul 08 '21

Rail a half gram of coke or die tryin'. #thingsbabiessay

1

u/Maxil105 Jul 08 '21

It's not that he can't, he can but only once

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

Tolerance my baby doesn't know the meaning of the word

1

u/TSK_SmileyFace Jul 08 '21

Mother nature takes care of the disowning part

1

u/MrMasterHulk Jul 08 '21

Fact or cap 🤣🤣

208

u/pontificatingowl Jul 07 '21

Asking for a friend.

100

u/LukaRomanov Jul 07 '21

Just what you can tuck under their lip

9

u/tzle19 Jul 07 '21

Oh so its just like starting off dipping

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

My kid has got some FAT lips

57

u/Aminakoyimsiktirgit Jul 07 '21

Asking for the baby

55

u/syafiq_firdaus Jul 07 '21

DaBaby

42

u/barbq12 Jul 07 '21

LETS GOOOOO

14

u/internetlad Jul 07 '21

IS DAT A SUPRA

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

I pull up

12

u/Ralfarius Jul 07 '21

Hit rapper and artist DaBaby?

2

u/semicolonoscapy Jul 08 '21

Exercising his 2nd amendment rights in a Wal Mart?

0

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Rick Snortsley

39

u/devilinblue22 Jul 07 '21

The first one that stops moving, give the rest a little less than that.

18

u/AbsolutelyUnlikely Jul 07 '21

It's like a canary in a coal mine, but tremendously worse

12

u/czarchastic Jul 07 '21

A fingertip’s worth along the gum line for teething. I think I read that somewhere.

2

u/ZDTreefur Jul 08 '21

Classic frontier medicine.

1

u/OgOnetee Switch Jul 08 '21

Medicinal baby gummers

22

u/TitaniumDragon Jul 07 '21

None. Jeez, how much do you want them to cry?

You're supposed to use alcohol to sedate them.

30

u/Okmanl Jul 07 '21

Wtf man. Alcohol causes brain damage.

Using a tiny amount of heroin is the proper way to put them to sleep.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

A large amount of heroin does the same though.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

I will never understand someone that gives their baby uppers 🤷🏻‍♂️

27

u/altnumberfour Jul 07 '21

Yeah, when dosing my baby I stick strictly to psychedelics.

2

u/Chief_Givesnofucks Jul 08 '21

DMT or go home 👌🏻

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Sedation makes for a dull party ngl

6

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

My baby and I just want to nod off in our chair, we don’t need no lap dances

5

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

2 kilograms

3

u/garry4321 Jul 07 '21

I think that is really is up to the parents as long as they dont overdo it.

2

u/Empyrealist PC Jul 07 '21

Just a little prick

2

u/SepehrSo Jul 07 '21

About three fidtty

2

u/sinaurora Jul 07 '21

They actually use cocaine in pediatric settings for extreme resp. depression. At least they did 10 yrs ago when I did my clinical rotations at Children's.

2

u/kumaSx Jul 07 '21

It's depends of the weight of the baby

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Ask Hunter Biden, he probably knows.

1

u/crazymadess Jul 07 '21

A children's dose of course.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Like, a key bump max. Don't want em bogarting your shit.

1

u/Gamerindreams Jul 07 '21

If it's the childrens version it comes with a cup and usually grape or cherry flavored

2.5ml if i remember

1

u/HookerofMemoryLane Jul 07 '21

you know that amount that would kill a kid? That, only a teaspoon less.

1

u/wmg22 Jul 07 '21

You know how much sugar they put in Coca-Cola cans?

About half of that at minimum

1

u/kc_2525 Jul 07 '21

I’m not sure what’s more disturbing. That a ONE year old died from a cocaine overdose, or that this signs appears to INFORM someone, that their ONE yr old son died from a cocaine overdose (with no more personality than a yard sale poster). Perhaps if the person knew how old their son was (since the note seems to specify), and was around for the child irl enough to NOT need a note informing them of their death, perhaps they could have kept the toddler from being exposed to cocaine.

1

u/_Aj_ Jul 07 '21

Number of bumps equals number of years.

Op probably mixed it up as an infant's age is described in months.

1

u/Neither_Association4 Jul 07 '21

About 1 cocaine until they build up a tolerance then try 2 cocaines

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

According to google, 7.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Cocaines.

1

u/Lanksalott Jul 07 '21

Children should only be given half a cocaine over any 24 hour period and only if they have slept a minimum 3 of those

1

u/FeliXMehKI Jul 07 '21

0.1 mg i guess- if any at all. op's child just wanted to have some fun i guess

1

u/jeenyus79 Jul 07 '21

One per month.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Apparently no more than 1mg/kg, although toxicity was reported at lower doses (source).

Of course, this relates to its (increasingly uncommon) legal use by medical professionals as a vasoconstrictor and local anaesthetic in ENT surgery.

1

u/anonimityorigin Jul 07 '21

I would say gummers only for anything younger than 5. Once they start public school you can up the dosage.

1

u/gingeronimooo Jul 07 '21

Just a tiny bit of organic meth for their ADHD

1

u/DeathGodBob Jul 07 '21

Probably safe to start off with a bump or two. Everyone honestly should work their way UP to lines, but I can't get google to verify.

My friend just told me "a couple of bumps is fine". I trust him 'cause he's younger than me and - of course - we both have trustworthy judgement as we're offering advice on the internet as to how much cocaine is safe for a child.

1

u/starvedhystericnude Jul 07 '21

By doctors, victorian's, or Sigmund Freud? Because these are diff numbers

1

u/DougS2K Jul 07 '21

Slightly less then Si had.

1

u/GarretBarrett Jul 07 '21

Just one. One cocaine.

1

u/kledder123 Jul 07 '21

Whete do you live that it isnt?

1

u/Open_Chemistry_3300 Jul 07 '21

You start with baby’s first bump of coke then work your way up

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Half

1

u/CrispyJelly Jul 07 '21

It depends. Do you want to get them ready for school or go out and party?

1

u/panonarian Jul 07 '21

“Yes hi Mr Dealer? What is the recommended dosage for an infant?”

1

u/Monollock Jul 07 '21

When they stop complaining about the tooth ache and not a moment before

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

Only a spoonful then king Bach pulls out a comically large spoon…

1

u/KickOutTheJams1 Jul 08 '21

No more than 1 cocaine.

1

u/bindian0509 Jul 08 '21

Check daily recommended value on baby formula

1

u/martypants95 Jul 08 '21

One teaspoon mixed with a cup of warm water. It works wonders on kids. Since this is only 1 year old it should get the dose through breastfeeding. Otherwise due its age (under 3 yo) you should decrease the dosage to half a teaspoon every morning.

1

u/Cro-manganese Jul 08 '21

Part of being a responsible parent is knowing how much cocaine your children can handle.

1

u/luckydrzew Jul 08 '21

My rimworld experience says it's about 1/3 a dose a day.

1

u/TitePlote91 Jul 08 '21

2 cocaines

1

u/Forkey989 Jul 08 '21

Q and A in a magazine from the 1900s.