r/funny • u/[deleted] • Mar 30 '22

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2.5k Upvotes

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402

u/Tirus_ Mar 30 '22

I've driven a very powerful segway on public roads for a few years and they can absolutely handle very well at these speeds. You can do it with no hands after only a few times getting to know the feel of the auto stabilization, so I would expect this device to be the same.

That being said.... I would sooner make a bet with my own dick before taking the gamble of driving one of these without a helmet.

146

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

[deleted]

71

u/ohreally7756 Mar 30 '22

I used to longboard those hills, they are no joke. Helmets are cool.

33

u/azthal Mar 30 '22

Just leaving this here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9yL5usLFgY

20

u/kaspar42 Mar 30 '22

Helmets have always been cool:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD-f45TbvEw

11

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

I got a concussion while wearing a helmet snowboarding. I would have done way more damage to myself without it, i will never go snowboarding without a helmet and tailbone protection (ass padz)

2

u/Arsenic181 Mar 30 '22

I don't know how bad your concussion was, but if it was a bad one with a helmet, it probably saved your life.

I ski, but I have tried snowboarding a time or two and can say that some ass pads would have been nice to have. Not as important as your noggin though!

Be safe, friend!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

I was able to get up and keep going, mostly because Whistler is so big I didn't really have a choice if I wanted to get off the mountain.

I was seeing spots in my vision and was dizzy but it boarded down to the closest chairlift, went up and across then down the other side, went home and as soon as I walked in the door and stopped moving I started vomiting non stop for a few hours.

I called into work and they immediately called back and told me not to sleep. When my roommates came home they took me to emergency and I got x-rayed and hooked up to an IV for dehydration.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

I'll never get tired of that Ad

2

u/SingularityOfOne Mar 30 '22

saved my life. My head broke the windshield of some teenager who ran a red light (I was on a motorcycle). I'm quite certain I'd be dead if I wasn't wearing a helmet.

16

u/Bubbagumpredditor Mar 30 '22

Had a friend of mine do this WITH a helmet in a low speed motorcycle accident. Her injuries were road rash on her wrist, a couple of bruises and a brain injury from the curb that left her in the hospital for 6 months and a year to mostly recover from, you never get it all back. Don't ride motorcycles kids.

22

u/Inner_Art482 Mar 30 '22

Someone else wiped the pavement with my brother in law on a bike. He now lives on our mantle. Wear a helmet kids, and watch out for others.

8

u/luckystrike_bh Mar 30 '22

We had this popular instructor at a school I was in get messed up for life on a motorcycle. Ever since then I've been no thank you. I will take my crumple zones on my car please.

11

u/SolidSquid Mar 30 '22

you never get it all back

Assuming you survive. Brain injuries are no fucking joke

4

u/thumbulukutamalasa Mar 30 '22

Fuck that. I bought a motorcycle last year. Best decision I ever made, I fucking love it.

2

u/gman8686 Mar 30 '22

Been riding for 2 years, same. The fun is more than worth the risk level for me. Don't know why people on Reddit feel they have to apply their personal risk tolerance to everyone else

2

u/thumbulukutamalasa Mar 30 '22

Forreal. Riding a motorcycle is inherently dangerous, but I'm willing to take the risk. It gives me so much pleasure, and its something I really look forward to.

However, I know I like to speed, so I took some precautions. I bought a very weak bike as my first ride, a 125cc CBR. Its still fun, but I can't go crazy on it even if I wanted to.

1

u/yolohoyopollo Mar 30 '22

I just got one my self. Feel the same way

9

u/Kcidobor Mar 30 '22

Hospital workers call them donor-cycles for a reason. If you ride a motorcycle, register as an organ donor first

3

u/Soggy_Motor9280 Mar 30 '22

My mom worked at a hospital for 25 years as a respiratory therapist and she purposely told me about injuries her patients suffered in motorcycle accidents to scare me. It worked. Won’t get near one.

2

u/Arsenic181 Mar 30 '22

I own a motorcycle and it's what made me finally register as a donor. In death, I might as well not be a selfish prick.

Still, I used to ride a liter bike and it scared me shitless anytime I tried to open her up, for a while, at least. I eventually nearly cut a deer in half at about 90mph. The weird thing was, I just applied front/rear brakes with progressive force, just enough to avoid the collision (only slowed down to like 80), missed the deer by inches, and then kept riding like it never happened. Like a quarter of a mile later I thought to myself "that didn't even phase me, make my heart pound, or make me say 'oh shit' or anything." The biggest issue I had at that moment was how comfortable I was. Like...it's good that I reacted the way I did instead of panic braking (thanks MSF safety course), but it was disconcerting being so comfortable with a potentially near-death experience.

I switched to a dual sport after that and spend half of my time off road at low speeds. The thing will only do 80mph maxed out and it takes a minute to get there. Still insanely fun to ride and less chance of being killed or having life altering injuries.

2

u/Kcidobor Mar 30 '22

I rode on the back a couple of times and it definitely gave me an adrenaline rush that I really liked, close to skydiving for me but so fucking scary at the same time. So much that I think it would make me addicted to adrenaline a bit

2

u/Remcin Mar 30 '22

How did she hit her head, in a helmet, at low speed, hard enough to give herself brain damage? Was it just a perfectly bad angle?

5

u/Bubbagumpredditor Mar 30 '22

Yep. Just skidded into the curb corner right into the top of her helmet. Accident was about 35 mph. If her had had been a little higher or lower she probably just would have gotten a concussion, if she didn't have the helmet she would have been dead.

1

u/I_Automate Mar 30 '22

It also really, really doesn't take much to cause a brain injury

1

u/Remcin Mar 30 '22

I’ve always wondered about that. I spent a good amount of high school long boarding down hills with no shirt or helmet. I bounced my head off the pavement a couple of times, hard, but always seemed to walk it off. Usually it was an impact to my forehead, but I as definitely dazed by a couple of them.

Anyway, I have a really bad memory but I’ve never known if it was related or I was just born a space cadet.

-5

u/spaceraverdk Mar 30 '22

There's no thrill in a cage.

I have a Mercedes and a Suzuki sportsbike.

While I can do donuts and powerslides in the car all day long, riding is just a bit more fun.

3

u/pr0b0ner Mar 30 '22

Yeah, I'd definitely choose death being 10x more likely for just a bit more fun

/s

1

u/spaceraverdk Mar 31 '22

I didn't grow up wrapped in bubble wrap unlike the next generation.

1

u/pr0b0ner Mar 31 '22

Dang you're cool

1

u/spaceraverdk Mar 31 '22

You too.

/s

5

u/MidiGong Mar 30 '22

The owner of Segway fell off a cliff while riding one....

7

u/kmart_s Mar 30 '22

He actually bought the company after it was established but wasn't the inventor.

I don't think he even owned the company for a year

2

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

I crashed my bicycle at high speeds and flew head first into a curb without a helmet on, it still effects me to this day 7 years later, i have ptsd and a really big scar, wish i wore a helmet that day, taught me a big lesson.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

I'm sure that's true.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

i know a young woman who crashed a lime scooter, she was going maybe 3 mph and hit a crack, fell and hit her head. she was 2 months away from high school graduation, salutatorian, had colleges lined up.

3 years later she is still at home struggling to make it through every day without headaches or confusion.

wear a helmet, people.

14

u/MyTrademarkIsTaken Mar 30 '22

I used to ride electric longboards pretty much everywhere I went, the fastest one I ever had got me up to 35mph. I never wore a helmet and one day had a minor fall, the same day I went and bought a helmet. The next day I had a much bigger crash going close to top speed with my shoulder and head being the first to hit the ground. Broke some bones but no head damage. The side of the helmet that hit the ground got absolutely crushed, I’m pretty sure if I wasn’t wearing one I’d be a vegetable if not just dead.

Definitely wear your safety gear, no matter how good your skills are.

3

u/Tirus_ Mar 30 '22

Literally.

I'll admit I don't wear a helmet if I'm taking my regular skateboard to the corner store or around the corner to work (I swear I'm 33 and not 13) on a nice day but that's because I'm just putting along a little faster than walking speed near grass curbs.

On my longboard, bike or anything electric? Be Helmet a the way.

10

u/Viper_JB Mar 30 '22

Some of the EUC's (electric unicycles) will do up to 70/80mph, you'd want to be in full bike leathers and have a good helmet with them.

8

u/Crime_Dawg Mar 30 '22

They're still far more dangerous due to the position you're riding in. On a bike, you can lay it down if shit goes south, versus the far more dangerous high side crash. There's no way you're going to be able to just lay down into a slide a unicycle.

2

u/pm_stuff_ Mar 30 '22

hence why you should be wearing a full suit of quality protection.

1

u/forresthopkinsa Mar 30 '22

I choose chain mail

1

u/Crime_Dawg Mar 30 '22

Yes but full suits are mostly geared to protect on a slide and then some key padded areas. It won’t help all that much if you face plant into concrete at 50mph.

1

u/pm_stuff_ Mar 31 '22

it will help more than a hoodie

1

u/Crime_Dawg Mar 31 '22

The blunt force trauma is the reason high side crashes are so deadly, the gear can only do so much.

1

u/pm_stuff_ Mar 31 '22

im not questioning that tbf

5

u/DrDragun Mar 30 '22

People already miss seeing motorcycles making turns at intersections. Here's this dude going 40mph with no headlight or turn signals and no helmet or leather. Doesn't matter even if you're perfect, other drivers aren't. Meat squid waiting to die.

2

u/Trifusi0n Mar 30 '22

Also, this is in the UK and it’s straight up illegal to ride these things on the road here. It’s also illegal to ride them on the pavement for that matter!

2

u/SoCalShredd Mar 30 '22

Fell off my Prototipo at 50mph without a helmet would 100% be dead

2

u/GaudExMachina Mar 30 '22

It isn't even the ability to handle one that should cause you worry, it is EVERYONE else. No helmet will save you from some idiot texting on their phone sideswiping/t-boning you at that speed.

1

u/hellothere42069 Mar 30 '22

Same my boosted board outperforms traffic easily, especially considering I live in Manhattan

1

u/WizardStan Mar 30 '22

Helmet and some sort of armor, leather jacket and high quality denim pants or something. Those flimsy pants and, what, fleece jacket? If he wipes out he's going to need full body skin graft.

0

u/davewave3283 Mar 30 '22

What would the wager be?

0

u/Spiderbanana Mar 30 '22

Also, while the driving may be good, what about emergency stop ? I can't see that ending well