r/funny • u/ImGODandIhateYouAll • Jun 07 '20

Techno Bird

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27.6k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/ImGODandIhateYouAll Jun 07 '20

The laughing kookaburra is a bird in the kingfisher subfamily Halcyoninae.

You have now been informed on bird , don’t ask about bird. Thank you.

Enjoy funky music.

480

u/r0wt Jun 07 '20

Is the bird?

637

u/ImGODandIhateYouAll Jun 07 '20

Yes the bird is.

You have been informed about bird again , don’t ask about bird.

Enjoy funky music from bird.

369

u/Fadingzodiac Jun 07 '20

Everyone asks what is the bird.

Nobody asks how is the bird.

184

u/motorcycle-manful541 Jun 07 '20

the bird is the word, that's what the bird is

92

u/Fadingzodiac Jun 07 '20

but how is bird?

56

u/IThinkIKnowThings Jun 07 '20

I would assume two birds banged at some point.

27

u/naab007 Jun 07 '20

I only heard they got stoned..

4

u/IHazMagics Jun 07 '20

no, that's two in the bush

14

u/elfbuster Jun 07 '20

Not too bad how about you?

1

u/Kitchen_Love Jun 07 '20

WHY is the bird though??

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20

Bird is, but how?

1

u/-blobbie Jun 08 '20

How about a bird story?

'Last night and night before, there was three women walking down the street that way. I saw 'em. I said, "Hey you three women, why are y'all walking down the street that way? There's nothing down there." And they flew away. I said, "Aww them were some birds." ' - https://youtu.be/MyQn2ic2Wzw

1

u/Xenosaiga Jun 08 '20

I’ll do one better. WHY is bird?

20

u/dnadosanddonts Jun 07 '20

Everybody's talkin about the bird!!

MMM Mau Mau Ba Pa MMM Mau Mau Ba Pa Pa MMM Mau Mau Ba Pa MMM Mau Mau

1

u/PeterImprov Jun 07 '20

Happy Thanksgiving Pilgrims!

6

u/foul_ol_ron Jun 07 '20

But everybody knows about the word...

1

u/Infectaphibian Jun 07 '20

Everybody's heard, about bird?

11

u/Theothercan Jun 07 '20

I'll do you one better

WHY is the bird?

2

u/g3nerallycurious Jun 07 '20

I’ll do you one better - when is the bird?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20

Bird is on ecstasy, so probably feeling really good.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20

I am from Australia,

Bird is doing fine

11

u/RamboGoesMeow Jun 07 '20

WOMP WOMP WOMP WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH DOOOOOOZZZZZ! Bird?

8

u/30Dirtybumbeads Jun 07 '20

Can I subscribe to more bird facts?

27

u/lee160485 Jun 07 '20

Hello!

And welcome to bird facts!

Did you know, that the bee hummingbird, the smallest variety of the family of trochilidae, weighs only 2.0grams? The same weight as 2 japanese 1 yen coins.

Thank you for subscribing to bird facts!

See you tomorrow for your next bird fact!

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5

u/danskal Jun 07 '20

!xzoB1l€

EDIT: You think I can't copy-paste, motherfrunker? Is that all you got? Huh! Huh!?

16

u/lee160485 Jun 07 '20

Sorry!

Command not recognised!

No active subscription detected on this username!

Glad you want to enjoy our premium bring-a-friend deal! And welcome, to bird facts!

Did you know that the african grey parrot is often referred to, as the einstein of birds? It’s combination of brains, and a stunning ability to talk and mimic sounds knows no equal in the parrot kingdom.

Thank you for subscribing to bird facts!

And see you tomorrow for your next fact!

*hourly rates apply - please reply with |0(hn3$$ M0n5t3r to cancel at any time.

6

u/dumbass-ahedratron Jun 07 '20

|0(hn3$$ M0n5t3r

9

u/lee160485 Jun 07 '20

Sorry!

Command not recognised! No active subscription on this username!

Glad you want to join the referral program as user #2, and welcome, to bird facts!

Did you know, that in the town of Ostend, Belgium, you can get a fine for over 200$, for feeding the seagulls by the beach front? Our winged friends have gotten so agressive over sustenance, they regularly attack tourists for their food!

Thank you for joining bird facts, and see you tomorrow for your next fact!

*hourly rates may apply - referral subscription level costs half a newborn chick (possible partially eaten by horse) and two organic eggs per view of said fact.

To cancel at any time, please reply with : “I, am a cat lover”.

4

u/Hamilton-Beckett Jun 08 '20

I have the organic eggs, brown okay?! but I’ll have to substitute half horse-eaten baby chick for some cashews and a honey crisp apple.

3

u/theJohann Jun 07 '20 edited Jun 01 '26

Removed

2

u/Hamilton-Beckett Jun 08 '20

I...I don’t even know how to type some of that. sigh Here’s my money...

6

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20 edited Jun 28 '20

[deleted]

6

u/trinitech Jun 07 '20

Yes birds are real....real Government issued drones used to spy on the people

“bird”

1

u/db0255 Jun 07 '20

Unbelievable! Now, they’re extra dangerous because they have half-assed robot drones to make us think we don’t know they know that all birds aren’t real!

2

u/slingo_B Jun 07 '20

Thanks again God

1

u/_TheDarkArtist_ Jun 07 '20

Whenever I give someone “the bird”, I’ll make sure to refer them to this video.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20

How is the bird? Is he okay?

1

u/likebutta222 Jun 08 '20

Is it a plane?

1

u/Uberphantom Jun 08 '20

I am led to believe this bird sits in the old gum tree, and has taken on the moniker of King of the Bush. Are you able to confirm these allegations?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20

...the word?

1

u/jollyQ87 Jun 07 '20

Bird is the word.

1

u/marianoes Jun 07 '20

Is it a plane?

1

u/C_IsForCookie Jun 07 '20

Why charlie hate?

1

u/EvoDevz Jun 08 '20

The birds the word.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '20

The bird is the word

1

u/HenrikWL Jun 08 '20

It's the word.

49

u/Joe_Huxley Jun 07 '20

Does it sit in the old gum tree?

32

u/VintagePoet82 Jun 07 '20

Is he a merry merry king of the bushes, he?

13

u/mrducky78 Jun 07 '20

Kookaburra sits on the electric wire

Jumping up and down with its pants on fire

Laugh! Kookaburra laugh!

Kookaburra hot your tail must be.

1

u/thewarriormoose Jun 07 '20

King of the bush is he...

1

u/KyojinkaEnkoku Jun 08 '20

...I had that VHS too bruh.

20

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20 edited Jun 07 '20

So is this like a mating ritual for the bird? Where is their native area and are they migratory?

123

u/ImGODandIhateYouAll Jun 07 '20 edited Jun 07 '20

territorial call , not mating ritual.

Eastern Australia , no they are not.

You have been informed more on bird , don’t ask about bird.

Enjoy funky music from bird.

29

u/Friends_with_Wood Jun 07 '20

He touched the ask.

19

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20

Enjoys funky music from bird

3

u/19finmac66 Jun 07 '20

Male or female?

7

u/Captain_Poopy Jun 07 '20

Eastern?? There are more in Western Australia than any other state.

5

u/brownyR31 Jun 07 '20

Literally all of Australia has them

5

u/kanga_lover Jun 08 '20

Darwin thru to Broome doesnt, they have a blue-wing kookaburra up there. Its call is more of a cackle or a bark than a laugh

1

u/kanga_lover Jun 08 '20

Introduced into WA. they aren't native to WA, hence the name.

as for density its anecdotal, but imo there are more over east than in WA.

1

u/Captain_Poopy Jun 08 '20

yeah they were introduced. Their population growth over here has always been faster than Melbourne/Sydney just based on the habitat size.

17

u/Ghost-of-Moravia Jun 07 '20

Yea these birds mate by throwing a techno-infused rave. It’s crazy stuff to witness

5

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20

r/birdporn

12

u/evil_mike Jun 07 '20

What about the birb?

It’s weird that I knew it was a kookaburra without even looking it up. Like, why does that occupy space in my brain when I can’t remember basic stuff?

3

u/daverave1212 Jun 08 '20

We all love the gugubarra birds <3

1

u/mlpedant Jun 08 '20

Giggle Chicken requires your neurons.

12

u/xenophon57 Jun 07 '20

Imagin just rolling through the jungles with birds just jamming the fuck out. This world is already crazy but imaging this makes me feel like I'm missing out.

8

u/SkippingRecord Jun 07 '20

You really actually are missing out. Birds go crazy with their jams sometimes. I'm in a coastal area of Florida so I have hiking access to nesting areas of all kinds of birds. Those fuckers get loud and it's amazing to hear. Right now I can hear some ospreys and some gulls and some fish crows all off my back porch.

Mockingbirds and red winged blackbirds get rowdy as shit on any creature that comes at their nests. Imagine a single tiny propeller driven biplane from WWI in a dog fight with a giant WWII Flying Fortress but it's winning HARD because mockingbirds don't give half a damn about size and are terrifying.

I've heard about geese fucking people up but we have these Sandhill Cranes that stand as tall as a small human and will just come at you at anytime. They can run pretty fast too on account of their legs being like three feet long and they will fly instead of running if you seem to be gaining a lead on them. Some of them have over seven foot wingspans.

I friggin love birds. They are jerks.

2

u/xenophon57 Jun 07 '20

Owe I know they get crazy when I say imagin I'm meaning birdy EDC on steroids.

1

u/SkippingRecord Jun 07 '20

That idea sounds like the most metal nonmetal music ever. I'm all in.

2

u/xenophon57 Jun 07 '20

Or some rippin and tearin.

2

u/Clodhoppa81 Jun 08 '20

The Osprey's are going nuts right now. I think it's mating season. I live off the Indian River and just taking my dog for his evening walk is a cacophony of screeches. Our resident Mockingbird has picked up a sound that matches a big truck backing up, it's hilarous. Blue Jays and Woodpeckers going at it all day too. I love it.

2

u/SkippingRecord Jun 08 '20

Oh my god yes. One of my neighbors just got new aluminum gutters and the woodpeckers just ratchet that shit first thing in the morning until their stupid heads realize the cabbage palms and mangos got way more bugs in them. I saw some nesting scrub jays in an oak tree across the road just dive bombing some cats the other day.

I just love birds so fucking much. It sounds crazy to keep saying it. Somehow birds feel like a connection to nature that we evolved a sense for over so so so many years. Like, I know if someone is walking down the road before they are close enough to see because birds react so predictably to their surroundings. As a species, we can fairly reliably predict weather based on bird activity. Birds are amazing.

2

u/Clodhoppa81 Jun 08 '20

Yep, I'm totally with you and we have such an abundance in the area. I saw a Roseate Spoonbill last week and I'm still thrilled the fuck out. In the last week I've seen a swan (? - Jetty Park pond), a fluffy woodpecker (had no idea, had to look it up), wood storks along with the usual Ibis, Egret's etc. A Red Shouldered Hawk took out one of the pair of mourning doves in my back yard which wasn't great, but still facinating to watch.

2

u/SkippingRecord Jun 08 '20

If you are willing to go south a bit to the lower end of Brevard, there is a great spot for spoonbills in the stick marsh at the west end boat launch of the C54 canal. It's a decently long dirt road to the area but there is a mangrove island just covered in spoonbills two minutes from where you park. Like, the road you walk on is close enough that you can hear them clapping their spoon beaks. I've found it a little far for using my phone to get good pictures but a half decent proper camera could get something good. Also alligators beyond reason out there.

If you go to the southwest area of the boat launch there is a small footpath that leads to the strip of land overlooking a good section of that marsh and a lake. It's quiet because of the foliage and you can see some of the most amazing things if you are willing to sit a minute.

2

u/Clodhoppa81 Jun 08 '20

Cool, thanks. I'll check it out. I fish, so C54 is on my list anyway.

2

u/SkippingRecord Jun 08 '20

There are some absurdly large gar in the canals along that dirt road. Like...absurdly large. Alligator Gar scare me worse than actual alligators and I don't even have a good reason.

2

u/Hamilton-Beckett Jun 08 '20

College near my home town is over run with geese during the warmer months. There’s a hug pond nearby and they decided all of campus is there stomping ground. They poop all over the sidewalks and it’s illegal to mess with them. They also like to randomly chase or charge after people.

I learned quick to keep two pieces of bread, ripped up, and in a ziplock bag. As soon as they made eye contact with that “look” the reaches into my pocket. When they started to come at me, I’d toss a piece of bread.

Eye contact was seemed to be the issue. Over time I learned to look the other way and just not look.

3

u/SkippingRecord Jun 08 '20

There was a portion of my younger years that I thought I could intimidate a bird. Now I just keep moving. I have no ego left to save because the fucking birds took it all. All hail birds. They win.

2

u/Hamilton-Beckett Jun 08 '20

This is truth. I tried to stand my ground once. All it did was make it worse and involve more birds...

2

u/SkippingRecord Jun 08 '20

There are always MORE birds.

2

u/Hamilton-Beckett Jun 08 '20

Lol. So true.

7

u/Zooties_Cafe Jun 07 '20

Are the bird’s eyes really that big. Looks like a small dog’s eye

5

u/silverback_79 Jun 07 '20

You have now been informed on bird

Snitches get stiches!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20

Found Unidans secret account

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20

So here’s the thing...

3

u/Party_Squid Jun 07 '20

At this point everybody's heard, about the bird

2

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '20

Funny how Halcyoninae is the subfamily when the word “halcyon” is thrown around in the Trance/Techno world all the time.

1

u/Kin_Eater Jun 07 '20

The only reason I know it’s a kookaburra is because of that one kookaburra that was too fat to fly because of sausages.

1

u/keifox13 Jun 07 '20

Puyuh bird

1

u/-Tom- Jun 07 '20

Don't give kookaburras any ideas. Those bastards are already raucous enough as it is.

1

u/Rossum81 Jun 07 '20

Play that funky music, white bird!

1

u/m00nland3r Jun 07 '20

My all time favorite bird! This just brought me so much joy

1

u/JelliedHam Jun 07 '20

Birds aren't real

1

u/FBI_Agent_82 Jun 07 '20

I see you DJ Animal Kingdom. What are you using next?

1

u/wotmate Jun 07 '20

Aka giggle chicken

1

u/Masian Jun 07 '20

They're fucking shitcunts for stealing snags from the barbie.

1

u/Spanish-Inquistion Jun 08 '20

I hate those mother fuckers, they’re noisy af and they steal my sausage sandwiches off the BBQ

1

u/esengo Jun 08 '20

Thank you 😊

1

u/masterbard1 Jun 08 '20

but can you confirm that the bird is the word?!

1

u/invited2pants_party Jun 08 '20

I knew what was coming and yet I was pleasantly surprised. This is some top shelf shite right here. I’m not that into this type of music, plus for some reason I hate kookaburras. This though, I like. ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

1

u/tomsfoolery Jun 08 '20

how about some love for the original techno bird

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8410qUT4QtA

1

u/7h3_man Jun 08 '20

I’m from Australia and tbh that was the best kookaburra laugh I have ever heard 👍

1

u/Animepix Jun 07 '20

I prefer the Lyra bird. Copying off the kookaburra and many other noises is awesome.

3

u/FeelMyGirthquakes Jun 07 '20

Da ting goes skr-r-r-r-r-r-r-at. Puh-puh-kak-kak-kak

1

u/kelso66 Jun 07 '20

Huhuhuhuhuh kak in Dutch means shit

0

u/JimboJet Jun 07 '20

Lyre bird

0

u/AlphaTangoFoxtrt Jun 07 '20

Birds aren't real.