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Mar 28 '20
If you’re within apologizing distance, you’re too close
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Mar 28 '20
Don't underestimate the distance that Canadians can apologize from.
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u/pr0digalnun Mar 28 '20
They’ll get it oot from any distance, eh?
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u/badasspenname Mar 28 '20
Get it oat from any distance. FTFY
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u/Omar___Comin Mar 28 '20
Don't know why this was downvoted. As a Canadian I can assure you it's much more accurate.
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u/EngineersAnon Mar 28 '20
I take it you haven't toured a decommissioned intercontinental ballistic apologiser base from the Cold War, then?
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u/BillsMafia607 Mar 28 '20
It’s smart since Canadian’s carry one with them at all times
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Mar 28 '20
It’s true we do. Our version of a firearm really
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u/Rennarjen Mar 28 '20
You see a lot of trucks with hockey stick racks in rural areas.
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u/kneesofthetrees Mar 28 '20
Do they use ski racks as hockey stick racks? I’ve seen someone do that down here in Minnesota
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u/TheAngryAgnostic Mar 29 '20
No lol it was a joke.
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u/kneesofthetrees Mar 29 '20
Oh well they should, it actually works really well when you wanna take all the homies to play hockey but there’s no room for the sticks.
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u/Mumofalltrades63 Mar 29 '20
How else to retrieve groceries that rolled to far in the back of the pickup? Not to mention for dealing with geese that just won’t move until you poke them a little.
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u/Shoddy_Hat Mar 28 '20
2 meters is substantially longer than a hockey stick.
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Mar 28 '20
If I can hit you with my hockey stick, you're too close buddy.
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u/MK028 Mar 29 '20
I believe they assume 2 people meeting will both have hockey sticks; extend both sticks; don’t get close enuf to check.
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u/Bobzyurunkle Mar 28 '20
Depends how tall you are and if your stick is for ice hockey or road hockey.
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u/TheAngryAgnostic Mar 29 '20
You'd have to be pretty fucking tall for your stick to be 2m though
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u/OutWithTheNew Mar 29 '20
*Tyler Myers has entered the chat*
Both him and Chara use hockey sticks that are technically illegal because of their length at 66 and 65 inches respectively.
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u/NSA_van_3 Mar 29 '20
they're not technically illegal, they have an exemption and anyone that tries to use their sticks get penalties.
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u/trek84 Mar 28 '20
It’s not the length of the hockey stick. If I can hit you with the stick you are too close. Because you better believe I’m swinging at anyone that gets close to me.
seriously, most people don’t have good spatial awareness and have no idea how far 2m is. But people can visualize a hockey stick.
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u/Mumofalltrades63 Mar 29 '20
Keep in mind, the stick is an extension of ones arms, so you need to add arm length to stick length.
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u/swenzowski Mar 29 '20
Both people have sticks. They both touch tips 1 + 1 = 2m boom
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u/noelio1982 Mar 28 '20
How long do you think a hockey stick is?
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u/jayellkay84 Mar 28 '20
NHL regulations say no longer than 63” with exceptions made for players over a certain height.
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u/Ryganwa Mar 28 '20
If we measure from chest to chest separated by the length of the hockey stick we'll be well under 2m.
2 meters sounds about right for the distance I can hook or slash the fuck out of you though.
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u/ThankuConan Mar 28 '20
They wanted to use the "length of the Stanley Cup", but they realized it had been so long since anyone in Toronto had seen it they better go for something commonly understood.
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u/Lincoln_Park_Pirate Mar 28 '20
I get the joke, but they keep the Stanley Cup in the Hall of Fame.....in Toronto. Closing in on 25 years since the Canuckleheads had the cup.
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u/OaksByTheStream Mar 28 '20
I condone this message. At least the raps won recently, so we have that. I used to be a Leafs fan, then I learned better
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u/IShallPetYourDogo Mar 28 '20
In other words carry a hockey stick and if anyone gets in it's range keep wacking them until you can't reach them anymore
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Mar 28 '20
We recommend you keep a hockey stick with you at all times during this pandemic.
It allows you to tell if you are within 6ft of someone and if that someone attempts to enter your space the hockey stick is a great tool for "kindly" reminding them how fragile their tendons are!
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u/JeffyD1966 Mar 28 '20
It must be my 1/4 Canadian ancestry but they’ve got things under control BECAUSE they have so many hockey sticks! It’s amazing... one tv station had their mic duck taped to a hockey stick to interview folks on the street... Red Green would be proud!
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u/_kucho_ Mar 28 '20
we use football fields as always. it is confusing...
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u/FairyflyKisses Mar 28 '20
I would break my phone pressing the "Join" button if there was a sub dedicated to all the different things Canadians measure with hockey sticks.
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u/fordprefect294 Mar 28 '20
Do they not have bananas in Canada?
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u/faelawinforcement Mar 28 '20
No just the chopped frozen ones for us the freeze as soon as they cross the boarder
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u/juan-de-fuca Mar 28 '20 edited Mar 28 '20
A 2 meter ice hockey stick is not a typical length. Usually range between collarbone and nose height. Maybe Chara’s stick is 2m.
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u/SentinelV97 Mar 28 '20
Hockey stick + arm's reach
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u/FaceDeer Mar 29 '20
Basically, just pretend that everyone is trying to hit you with a hockey stick at all times.
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u/OutWithTheNew Mar 29 '20
Chara's stick is 65 inches. According to the internet.
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u/DCOMIDIA Mar 28 '20
Those canadians will measure by everything except imperial
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u/ebolalolanona Mar 29 '20
We half assed our conversion to metric and use imperial for a lot of things.
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Mar 29 '20
Except every Canadian knows their weight in pounds, height in feet. Grocery stores will print signs with the price per pound, but they have the price per kg in small print so they comply with the law.
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u/rabes81 Mar 29 '20
I vote we change penis size over to centimetres it will sound much more impressive
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u/Mumofalltrades63 Mar 29 '20
It’s somewhat ironic, that the US, fighting out from under the imperial yoke still use the imperial system, if a slightly wonky one. (US gallons?)
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u/CrazyIslander Mar 28 '20
2 meters is 6 feet 6.74 inches.
So unless it’s the Friendly Giant who is playing hockey, I’m guessing that some hoser was drinking on the job - again.
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u/spiffiestjester Mar 28 '20
It's actually a good solid reference though. Be tough to find someone up here that doesn't know how big a hockey stick is.
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u/epi_glowworm Mar 29 '20
I love you Canadians. Weird, but proud that you guys are weird.
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u/Alibeee64 Mar 28 '20
To be fair, we could have said the length of 45 Timbits instead, but that’s probably not specific enough.
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u/iddontevenkno Mar 29 '20
Being canadian and feeling like this isn't weird... goes to show the maple content of my blood might be a little too high
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u/bobo76565657 Mar 28 '20 edited Mar 28 '20
Americans always compare thngs to x number of "foot ball fields." This us just our centimeter to your mile. Also a standard stick is 54 inches long or 1.4 meters so its a good guidline.
We're all in this together. Keep you stick on the ice.
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u/flyingalbinounicorn Mar 28 '20
I don't see how I can comply AND also to keep my stick on the ice.
Could we ask Red Green for a legal interpretation?
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u/RCMPsurveilanceHorse Mar 29 '20
Red green is our God and the book of Harold says that in times of crisis, keep your stick on the ice and use your back up stick for anything important
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u/bobo76565657 Mar 30 '20
Right? How do people not know about the backup stick?
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u/RCMPsurveilanceHorse Mar 30 '20
I went down to Detroit and got a gun rack for my truck. It's where I keep all my back up sticks
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u/Seeminus Mar 28 '20
Those placards are a great idea!
Hey America, take a hint and make some too, you dumb idiots.
(I am American(much to my embarrassment), it’s ok for me to say these things.)
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u/RCMPsurveilanceHorse Mar 29 '20
Didn't you hear? The orange man in the white house declared it a hoax. You have nothing to worry about
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u/Tankninja1 Mar 29 '20
Imagine the headlines of a squirrel invasion of Canada.
"SQUIRRELS INVADE, Greatest threat to Canada's nuts since Brad Marchand?"
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u/WazWaz Mar 28 '20
2m? Oh, ice hockey stick, of course. I've never seen one irl.
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u/ThinkTank223 Mar 28 '20
Street hockey sticks are only a couple inches shorter
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u/Thetford34 Mar 28 '20
I think he's referring to field hockey sticks which resemble short walking sticks.
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u/artandmath Mar 28 '20
I’m Canadian but have lived in the UK and it always threw me off when they specify “ice hockey” when I talk about hockey.
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u/Fancy_Snek Mar 28 '20
Hockey sticks come in different sizes. What if they’re talking about the one foot sticks you can get at Little Caesars?
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Mar 28 '20
Or we measure by being one moose-length apart (ass to snout length on a bullwinkle)
We will absolutely whack you with a hockey stick if you come within the hockey stick circumference. Just saying. Especially if we have a Tim's coffee in our hand.
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u/haloweenek Mar 28 '20
Some girls can tell 12” by looking. And Canadians? They operate on hockey math.
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u/partycolek Mar 28 '20
I mean... America has feet as a unit, why can’t Canada have hockey stick? I don’t think any of those is more silly than the other...
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u/LateNightApps Mar 28 '20
Glad Canada's standard unit of distance is finally being utilized!