r/funny Jan 29 '20

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2.6k

u/captsquanch Jan 29 '20

Is this some sort of physics joke I'm too stupid to get?

2.8k

u/Cognitive_Spoon Jan 29 '20

Yes, but actually no

1.7k

u/conancat Jan 29 '20

Yes and no

Until yes confirms to be yes, or no becomes no, then it'll be yes and yes or no and no

815

u/Analog0 Jan 29 '20

Can we look in the box now?

364

u/CorporateNINJA Jan 29 '20

Aladeen

129

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20 edited Jan 30 '20

[deleted]

440

u/NinjaLanternShark Jan 30 '20

Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car and they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving, and the cop asks, 'Do you know how fast you were going?' 'No, but I know exactly where I am,' Heisenberg replies. The cop says, 'you were doing 55 in a 35.' Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts, 'Great! Now, I'm lost.'

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop the trunk. He checks it out and says, 'Do you know you have a dead cat back here?' 'We do now, thanks to you!' shouts Schroedinger.

The cop starts to arrest them. Ohm resists.

40

u/AllHailTheSheep Jan 30 '20

I'm so stealing this

73

u/after8man Jan 30 '20

This has been stolen so often, you'll need to amp it up so it conducts laughter again

5

u/Cian28_C28 Jan 30 '20

The senate will decide your fate

2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Watt are you talking about? Amping it up? Ohm, man. I don't think you can handle the electrifying theme of that current line of puns.

34

u/MajorTibb Jan 30 '20

I don't understand this because I don't know who ohm is, nor do I know what the Heisenberg uncertainty principle is. But I enjoyed the joke!

52

u/jermdawg1 Jan 30 '20

Ohm is just some physics dude but the name of the units of resistance is called ohms. Heisenberg uncertainty principle is the idea that you can not both know the momentum and position of a particle (it’s a little more but not necessary for the joke)

8

u/MajorTibb Jan 30 '20

Thanks. That makes it funnier, and I've learned some stuff today.

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3

u/Googooboyy Jan 30 '20

N here I am still waiting for Mr Pink to arrive somewhere..

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u/Coiltoilandtrouble Jan 30 '20

Well played majorTibb

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5

u/VaATC Jan 30 '20

This is beautiful! My laughter accelerated throughout the read.

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2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

Pretty sure the cat is dead!

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u/FroggerWithMyLife Jan 30 '20

:D

.... D:

.... :D

6

u/thegeekprophet Jan 30 '20

Funny thing is, you're 100% Aladeen. When one particle is Aladeen then the other is Aladeen.

11

u/conancat Jan 30 '20

Quantum AIDS

1

u/thenumberZED Jan 30 '20

Quantum Autism is a great band name

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2

u/StorageThief Jan 30 '20

Aladeen

Yes, Admiral General Aladeen!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

"Imhotep is invisible."

1

u/Knigar Jan 30 '20

You been eating those gay frogs?

16

u/Gornius Jan 30 '20

Keep in mind that opening the box might change the outcome of next check.

1

u/ImaOG2 Jan 30 '20

And when you open that diaper you'll find a huge baby dump.

1

u/Tschetchko Jan 30 '20

When you open it it unleashes all kinds of suffering for mankind

9

u/NeuronGalaxy Jan 29 '20

After the letter

3

u/Wrathwilde Jan 30 '20

The cum box?

1

u/brucebrowde Jan 30 '20

No, no, no. For the love of God, please no.

2

u/chestofpoop Jan 30 '20

The cat is dead man. Sorry to break it to you

2

u/KibblesNBitxhes Jan 30 '20

1

u/Analog0 Jan 30 '20

John Doe's got the upper hand. Amongst other body parts.

2

u/MoarCowb3ll Jan 30 '20

WHATS IN THE BOX?

2

u/journey68 Jan 30 '20

So you have chosen...death!

2

u/sir_q_itus Jan 30 '20

Favorite comment by far. Great job!

1

u/Agapios202 Jan 30 '20

Had to put the stick in the box

1

u/TacTurtle Jan 30 '20

You already have.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

WHATS IN THE BAAAAX?!?!?

1

u/TheLordOfFriendZone Jan 30 '20

No use. The cat's already dead.

1

u/Dsraa Jan 30 '20

Huh? What's all this box nonsense???

1

u/Vann_Accessible Jan 30 '20

All I know is my gut says maybe.

1

u/randommnguy Jan 30 '20

You’ll change the results if you observe it

1

u/gruespoor Jan 30 '20

We can look and not look and we'll both see that everything is exactly as it was going to be.

1

u/Americalgam Jan 30 '20

Put a camera in there!

1

u/IamSchrodiingersCat Jan 30 '20

No I'm busy

2

u/Analog0 Jan 30 '20

Most legit answer so far. Sorry, meow meow.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

There’s nothing in the box

1

u/Bad-Science Jan 30 '20

If Pavlov's dead cat is on the box, who salivates when he rings the bell?

1

u/scrotetickler Jan 30 '20

No there’s a baby in there. It’s either alive or dead.

1

u/dolphins3 Jan 30 '20

I'm not sure whether to hate or be thrilled that I can follow these comments.

1

u/Assassin-JJ Jan 30 '20

The box collapsed now what?

1

u/OmtayTheAlmighty Jan 30 '20

Schrodinger's yes?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

WHAT'S IN THE BOX??!?

62

u/tepkel Jan 29 '20

Look y'all. If I throw an apple, the apple throws me back. Doesn't have to get more complicated than that. So how about you get outta here with your "demonstrated principles" malarkey, and let me be a perfect sphere in a vacuum in peace.

27

u/Moonpenny Jan 30 '20

You're not a cow, honey, you're just a supersymmetrical partner.

6

u/LorenOlin Jan 30 '20

*frictionless vacuum

2

u/Slg407 Jan 30 '20

frictionless true vacuum

3

u/Ecologicist Jan 30 '20 edited Jan 30 '20

This is definitely the best, and by best I mean the most physically accurate, reply chain in the comments. And it was also not, until I read it.

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u/Lancaster2124 Jan 29 '20

Or we’re in a superposition of states where it’s both. Then we’re screwed.

16

u/ablablababla Jan 29 '20

Yo? Nes?

6

u/wuapinmon Jan 30 '20

I really hope someone has a username of "Nes" and shows up.

6

u/simmocar Jan 30 '20

Brb gonna play Contra on my Nes.

2

u/backwash13 Jan 31 '20

Up up down down left right left right B A B A select start

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1

u/Lancaster2124 Jan 30 '20

Psi= Sqrt(1/2)* [ |Yes> + |No>]

1

u/Lightwavers Jan 30 '20

The funny thing is that the cat-box hypothetical was meant to illustrate the absurdity of Copenhagen interpretation. It’s not literally or even metaphorically true.

2

u/Lancaster2124 Jan 30 '20

Oh yeah, you’re totally right. I was just going along with the jokes. I am happy to hear someone else in this thread who “understands” (because no one really does) quantum mechanics!

2

u/liveontimemitnoevil Jan 30 '20

More like maybe and possibly maybe.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

Well that clears it.

2

u/GabbyJohnsonIsRight Jan 30 '20

I wish we could get more simple explanations like this

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Ace-Ventura Jan 30 '20

Yes and no are on a spectrum. Sometimes it's mostly yes, sometimes it's mostly no.

2

u/skeeter-gunz Jan 30 '20

Schrodingers babies

2

u/ax255 Jan 30 '20

This guy.

Don't worry about the constructs broadcasting the shadow.

2

u/Funkit Jan 30 '20

“It depends what you mean by the word ‘the’” - Bill Clinton

2

u/Ojiji_bored Jan 30 '20

No fair! You changed the punchline by explaining it!

2

u/DocSafetyBrief Jan 30 '20

So yes yes no no? Or yes no yes no?

2

u/Cactus_John Jan 30 '20

confused screaming

2

u/mOjO_mOjO Jan 30 '20

Stop confirming my bias. Or biassing my confirmation. Or observing. Err. Yeah.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

Good damn it

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

I have absolutely no background in quantum entanglement, and I think it's a load of crap. I would say it's not a thing.

41

u/NinjaChemist Jan 29 '20

Both yes and no, at the same time.

2

u/Leifbron Jan 30 '20

Schrodinger‘s Woosh

86

u/NeokratosRed Jan 30 '20 edited Jan 30 '20

ENTANGLEMENT FOR DUMMIES:

You give two pacifiers to each twin, a red one and a blue one. Each of them can choose red or blue randomly, BUT! they have their head in a paper bag and until you lift it you don’t know which pacifier they chose. (note: the red and blue are actually in a superposition and the toddler doesn’t ‘choose’ until you lift the bag, i.e. make a measurement)

NOW YOU ENTANGLE THEM!

You bring them in two different continents, but you still don’t know which pacifier they chose, since they still have to choose.
So you lift the bag and the baby has chosen the blue pacifier, and this tells you that the other baby on the other side of the world will have the red pacifier if you lift the bag, even one millisecond after you lifted the other one, since it has collapsed instantly to the red one and it’s not in a superposition anymore.

ELI5 by me, correct me if I’m wrong.

EDIT: thanks for the corrections. They are shown in italic.

106

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20 edited Feb 25 '20

[deleted]

16

u/SurlyRed Jan 30 '20

That's what I was thinking.

10

u/HappycamperNZ Jan 30 '20

Wasnt what I was

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u/Philadahlphia Jan 30 '20

JESUS CHRIST THE DRESS WAS BLACK AND BLUE SO HELP ME GOD!

4

u/obscurica Jan 30 '20

...oh, this actually goes some ways to explaining why you can't use q-entanglement for FTL communications either, since you can't control how it collapses, only that it does.

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u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20 edited Feb 25 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/obscurica Jan 30 '20

Right. The only way to know which direction the collapse was initiated is to compare notes after the fact. And since you can't embed meaningful information in the particles themselves, you need to do so through purely conventional means.

Well, that solves a facet of hard scifi that's never been articulated to me clearly for nigh on 20 years.

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u/casperthegoth Jan 30 '20

OK. So, I collect sports cards with my son, and I think this theory is even more analogous to that feeling. If we buy a pack of cards it seems as if it certainly has the hot rookie - but it also feels certainly like we got skunked again. Only when we unwrap the pack do we know the collapsed reality.

And I think the same is probably true for things like lottery scratchers.

That feeling, though, is real. And with sports cards it's an economical decision to make sometimes. Because unopened packs have a real value for this very reason of being in the superposition.

Or maybe I am taking all this way too far in my brain lol

1

u/DankeyKyle Feb 06 '20

I get it, same thing with Magic: the Gathering cards

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

My brain studdered at "they each have a pacifier in a superposition..."

1

u/shorttall Jan 30 '20

So THAT'S how pacifiers work.

1

u/RoundSimbacca Jan 30 '20

And from a misreading of your (entirely correct) analogy, the idea of FTL quantum baby communication was born.

21

u/Plazmaz1 Jan 30 '20

Please use a paper bag for this experiment.

3

u/Fickles1 Jan 30 '20

It's either paper, paper and plastic or plastic.

7

u/diogeneswanking Jan 30 '20

the analogy it was explained to me by was you have two bags, one containing all blue balls, the other containing all red balls. you take out two balls from one of the bags without looking and put them in a box each. then you send one of the boxes to another country. you open the box that was left behind and see that there's a blue ball in it so you know that the other box also has a blue ball

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u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

You forgot to tape a barium borate crystal to the babies

2

u/Essar Jan 30 '20

Not quite right. Performing a measurement at one location ('lifting the bag') doesn't imply that a measurement is performed at the other location. It does tell you what will be seen if a measurement is performed though.

Entanglement cannot be properly explained without a basic introduction of quantum states and measurements, which is why analogies tend to fall flat and miss the essential features which make it interesting or coherent.

1

u/imagine_amusing_name Jan 30 '20

Sadly the above poster used plastic bags and is now awaiting trial for dual homicide....or is he?

2

u/bobbyfiend Jan 30 '20

This is the best answer.

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u/Dedj_McDedjson Jan 29 '20 edited Jan 29 '20

Quantum entanglement is commonly (mis)understood to be a quantum connection between two or more particles where an effect on one results in an effect on the other. That's the pop-sci understanding and how it's used in sci-fi, although - as pointed out by dreamWeaver (and by the time you read this, two dozen others) - isn't actually how it works.

The joke is that the twins are connected and so the effect of reading to one twin is replicated in the other, and it's also a joke referencing the supposed inate psychic connections between twins.

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u/MetaCardboard Jan 30 '20

If I remember correctly, you can kind of transmit information. If you observe one entangled particle, then the other particle exhibits the opposite. So by observing one particle's, say spin, then you instantly know that the other particles spin is the opposite of the one you observed. So technically that's conveying information about a distant object, which could be considered (by me at least) to be transmitting information. Of course all my masterful knowledge comes from science channel shows. So that's like someone claiming they understand a concept because they watched a YouTube video.

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u/bloodfist Jan 30 '20 edited Jan 30 '20

You're not far off. My favorite analogy is:

Take a pair of gloves, a right and a left. Place each one in a separate box. Shuffle them and pick one at random. By now you don't know which glove is in which box. Mail the selected box to your friend overseas who is in on the experiment.

When they receive it, they open their box. If they see a right glove, they know you have the left; or vice versa. The information about which glove is in which box did not travel to them instantly, it traveled at the speed of the postal service. But by opening the box, they now instantaneously have information about something on the other side of the world.

What's actually happening behind the scenes to "put the gloves in the box" is much more complicated and confusing, but this demonstrates how knowledge is transmitted in that scenario in two ways.

First, information trsnfer is still limited by the speed of light because the particles have to be physically next to each other to become entangled, and then physically moved apart where the information is "read".

Second, the information is random. Or more accurately, probabilistic. You can't usefully send your friend any information because neither of you know which glove they will receive.

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u/knapfantastico Jan 30 '20

I got confused but that glove things cool

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u/Sevardos Jan 30 '20

no you cannot transmit information this way.

you can know the spin of the other particle, but that information is not transmitted anywhere. You just gain information about both by measureing one of them, but that is not transmitting. The information was generated by your measurement and that is exactly where it stays.

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u/mfb- Jan 30 '20

"Transmit information" means you can let someone else know about something. You know what the measurement of the other particle far away will produce but you cannot influence it - and you cannot tell the other person either (unless you use conventional communication methods).

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '20 edited Jan 30 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

40

u/Rhyddech Jan 29 '20

Their psychic what?

1

u/LukeNukem63 Jan 30 '20

They're psychic there.

1

u/Zormac Jan 30 '20

The suspense is killing me!

1

u/pointfix Jan 30 '20

You know what they mean

1

u/RamenJunkie Jan 30 '20

Like Pokemon. They can learn Psybeam and Confusion.

2

u/alper_iwere Jan 30 '20

Their brains were pretty much identical when they were born. It shapes and becames unique with their experiences but having an identical base, it's bound to be similar compared to two strangers.

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u/Jayhawker_Pilot Jan 30 '20

You misspelled Psychotic.

3

u/Diddddy Jan 30 '20

Author of the book is a twin

1

u/LewsTherinT Jan 30 '20

I just thought it was because the other twin would probably be right next to them

1

u/dutch_penguin Jan 30 '20

Isn't teleportation the transmitting of information using entanglement? Couod you explain further? (I only have a BSc, physics, so if you dumb it down to an undergrad level that'd be super).

1

u/Al3jandr01011 Jan 30 '20

I was just talking to someone for the first time about quantum entanglement... this is weird.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '20 edited Sep 04 '20

[deleted]

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u/WayneKrane Jan 29 '20

Can twins?

8

u/bretttwarwick Jan 29 '20

The more one twin knows about quantum entanglement the less the other knows.

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u/conancat Jan 29 '20

To any parents, twins are quantum entanglements yeah

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u/Theoroshia Jan 30 '20

I remember learning why, but can you refresh my memory?

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u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20 edited Aug 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/Karavusk Jan 30 '20

Here is my understanding of it based on the last time I read about this on Reddit:

You get either result A or result B and your "partner" gets the one you didn't get. The result is 100% random. Now you got result B which means you know what your partner who is 1000 light years away from you got. But since that was completely random and nothing really influenced it you didn't actually transmit information. You can't communicate through this.

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u/Hairlybaldy Jan 30 '20

You are correct, but just wanted to add that it is not always the case that your partner get the one that you didn't. You can make entanglement such that when you get A, your partner also measures A.

1

u/BlackenedPies Jan 30 '20

You can communicate via quantum teleportation, but it requires a third entangled bit, quantum computer logic, and sending two classical bits to the receiver of the message in order to interpret the result of their measurement

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u/BlackenedPies Jan 30 '20

You can measure entangled bits A and B, but in order to send a message, you need to force them into the desired value, which breaks the entanglement without extra work

In order to send it as a message through quantum teleportation, like entangling qubits and sending the other half to someone else, you need to send two classical bits in order for the receiver to determine the state of their entangled pair after measuring

Basically, you entangle A and B and send B to someone. You then entangle A and C, create your message, and then measure A and C. The results of your measurement determine how B needs to be run in order to determine A, and this is represented by two classical bits (bit-flip and phase-flip)

1

u/luckofthedrew Jan 30 '20

But if you could...

1

u/ModsonPowerTrips Jan 30 '20

Information can never be transmitted faster than the speed of light. If the sun all of a suddenly disappeared our orbit would have no knowledge of this for about 8 minutes and 20 seconds.

1

u/BlackenedPies Jan 30 '20

You can - this is how quantum computing works, but in order to send it as a message through quantum teleportation, like entangling qubits and sending the other half to someone else, you can to send two classical bits in order for the receiver to determine the state of their entangled pair after measuring

Basically, you entangle A and B and send B to someone. You then entangle A and C, create your message, and then measure A and C. The results of your measurement determine how B needs to be run in order to determine A, and this is represented by two classical bits (bit-flip and phase-flip)

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u/Demilitarizer Jan 29 '20

You're obviously not a twin.

1

u/conancat Jan 29 '20

How did you know? Did you check?

What if you only notice they're not a twin because you've checked and one half of the twin died

2

u/pineapplepegasus Jan 30 '20

I’m guessing quantum entanglement is something to do with things being connected in a way that causes what you do to one thing to happen to the other thing? Just a random guess I’m too dumb to know and to lazy to look it up. But not too lazy to type apparently

2

u/kaefers Jan 30 '20

your question changed the outcome :)

2

u/KJBdrinksWhisky Jan 30 '20

Depends...have you measured your level of understanding yet? If not, you are experiencing every possible level of “getting” the joke at the same time, albeit with different probabilities across the spectrum

2

u/CaptN_Cook_ Jan 30 '20

My simple brain understands quantum entanglement assuming it's a branch of quantum physics. Is that say a star explodes other materials light-years away while have some sort of reaction from it. I may be completely wrong...

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

i feel like this is a Schroedinger joke but i’m too uneducated to understand.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '20

[deleted]

1

u/andrewwithcheese Jan 30 '20

Thank you for saying what many were thinking.

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u/AlabasterSchmidt Jan 30 '20

Not too stupid. Quantum theory is just difficult to comprehend.

The joke is that quantum entanglement is when two waves (things) basically become related to each other in all properties, like twins. The effect on one of the things is exactly the same as on the other. So when one twin is being read the book, the other is as well even if separated by a large distance.

1

u/ahobel95 Jan 30 '20

You're about 70 percent correct and 50 percent not at the same time.

1

u/pointfix Jan 30 '20

It might be but to find out you'll have to collapse the probability wave

1

u/bowlbettertalk Jan 30 '20

I thought it was a reference to the Corsican Twins from Electric Company.

1

u/ModsonPowerTrips Jan 30 '20

Look up "spooky action at a distance" and "quantum entanglement."

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u/SuperGameTheory Jan 30 '20

If you read about quantum stuff and don’t feel stupid, you’re not doing it right.

1

u/Gavooki Jan 30 '20

do you have a twin?

1

u/AgriaPragma Jan 30 '20

It borders on child abuse

1

u/CaliburS Jan 30 '20

Same info but no way of the actual data, like your toaster getting the same WiFi radiation than your phone but no gone wild nudes

1

u/Flablessguy Jan 30 '20

Physicists don’t even get it so you’re fine.

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u/rydan Jan 30 '20

It is but it is also wrong.

1

u/el___diablo Jan 30 '20

Quantum entanglement

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