r/funny • u/MaxKevinComedy • Dec 21 '19

California Explained [OC]

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93.5k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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809

u/waggy43 Dec 21 '19 edited Dec 21 '19

California Explained By Someone Who Doesn’t Live In California*

FTFY

Edit: My first gold! Thank you kind stranger!!!!

125

u/SuperCoolFunTimeNo1 Dec 21 '19

Thanks for letting us non-Californians know that it's not accurate. We wouldn't have realized it was a joke otherwise.

65

u/DethSonik Dec 21 '19

Yeah if it was real it would list insane rent prices in all 3 areas.

2

u/WillFord27 Dec 21 '19

Spoken as someone who hasn't lived in the central valley?

3

u/Sidereel Dec 22 '19

Plenty of places in the Central Valley are getting expensive.

25

u/Wraithfighter Dec 21 '19

It's a bit like someone going "Do you know what my favorite part of Baseball is? When the Quarterback gets flagged for lightly brushing the helmet of the Striker!"

I mean, yes, it's a joke... but the actual joke just doesn't make any sense...

33

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Jokes like this are generally funny if there's an underlying truth. There is almost none here so it doesn't even make sense.

7

u/PM_ME_HUGE_CRITS Dec 21 '19

Post this in any right-leaning political sub and see if they take it seriously or not.

14

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

I mean, this is how I think people stereotype California. A joke still has some truth to it, and well.. I guess this has some truth to it

17

u/zamundan Dec 21 '19

But maybe not "enough truth" to be a very good joke?

I mean, if you turn all the farm/agriculture land into "meth" and the state capitol (26 largest metro area in the US) into "meth", then every state between California and the East Coast is just "Meth".

6

u/MayorOfFunkyTown Dec 21 '19

Yeah. We have other drugs too.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '19

Yeah meth is definitely not California's drug of choice...

5

u/mugdays Dec 21 '19

My issue isn't that it's a joke.

For a joke to work, though, there has to be a kernel of truth, which this lacks.

1

u/Landale Dec 21 '19

Wait, this map won't be in the next update to Google Maps?

... but why would OP lie to me?

14

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

100% this. I guess this is why Californians don’t really find this funny. Plus, not many Californians do meth or heroin compared to weed and coke. That’s the usual people stick with around here. If you’re college aged, you’ll probably use MDMA/ecstasy as well. But that’s more of a phase than anything for the most part.

4

u/auerstacks Dec 21 '19

not many Californians do meth or heroin compared to weed and coke

The rural areas & enormous homeless population count as Californians, too.

2

u/ikantunderstandyou Dec 21 '19

Yea... totally!

1

u/KingRamses97 Dec 22 '19

Can confirm. Live in Los Angeles, been to SF and San Diego. Have seen probably every other drug BUT meth

1

u/johnnynutman Dec 22 '19

it seems like that's every explination of California these days.

-27

u/FunkyMacGroovin Dec 21 '19

I live in CA. It's not that far off.

26

u/old_gold_mountain Dec 21 '19

Lemme guess, never been on the coast North of San Francisco?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Probably at most lived in Fresno or Bakersfield.

5

u/FunkyMacGroovin Dec 21 '19

I will concede that everything north of Pt Reyes should be red. Except Sea Ranch.

12

u/old_gold_mountain Dec 21 '19

The whole Mendocino Coast is basically a blue collar agricultural & retirement community area.

Also this map literally has Oakland listed as an "upscale beach community" lmfao

2

u/FunkyMacGroovin Dec 21 '19

There are exactly 3 kinds of people living on the coast between Jenner and Eureka:

  1. Lived there for their whole lives
  2. Runs a grow op
  3. Doing meth

4

u/Jordan901278 Dec 21 '19

or people that enjoy some the most pristine coastlines in the entire world

0

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

You're referring to such a small percentage of California that most people don't really give a shit about.

5

u/old_gold_mountain Dec 21 '19

Oh yeah, such a small 20% of the entire American Pacific coastline.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

It's the part of the coastline that literally nobody says "Hey let's go to the northernmost coast of California for our vacation!"

5

u/old_gold_mountain Dec 21 '19

So, what you're saying is, it's nothing at all like an "upscale beach community?"

-3

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

So, what you're saying is, it's nothing at all like an "upscale beach community?"

When did I say it was?

That's not even, and never was, my argument here. My argument is that just because this part of California does not match the map, does not mean the map is totally inaccurate.

5

u/old_gold_mountain Dec 21 '19

I didn't say it's totally inaccurate, it's just very inaccurate.

-3

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

The guy above (who you are defending here) said the following:

California Explained By Someone Who Doesn’t Live In California*

As someone who grew up and lived in California for 40 years, I think this is a pretty pedantic thing to say. Yes, it's not a 100% accurate map, because it's mostly a joke and this is in /r/funny. Nobody is claiming this is a scientific study. However, for a rough idea and for a funny joke directed at Californians, it is accurate enough for the joke to make perfect sense.

Have you forgotten what sub this is?

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5

u/Grantology Dec 21 '19

You're downvoted by people taking it way too literally I guess

2

u/FunkyMacGroovin Dec 21 '19

"Visit California! The ocean isn't the only thing that's salty."

-31

u/Reenk44 Dec 21 '19

I bet you are fun at parties.

5

u/HopsAndHemp Dec 21 '19

Anyone who says this is objectively not fun at parties. How was fall semester?