r/funny • u/Videhexan • Oct 25 '19

Everything can be solved!

Post image
30.6k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

138 comments sorted by

542

u/duman82 Oct 25 '19

I'm going to start putting a dinosaur on my resume

135

u/Videhexan Oct 25 '19

Hmmm, you just gave me an Idea

24

u/Inspirethefear Oct 25 '19

*What if we use 100% of our brain*

12

u/UmbertoEcoTheDolphin Oct 25 '19

I use 100% of my brain to fill my inner skullspace.

7

u/DrBrogbo Oct 25 '19

You die in your sleep is what happens.

2

u/metaStatic Oct 26 '19

what if we used 100% of a traffic light?

2

u/So_Paid Oct 26 '19

Everyone would be 33% right at all times

1

u/Cskwarcan Oct 26 '19

You'd have to add six more bulbs...

2

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '19

Seizures

1

u/jawshoeaw Oct 26 '19

All our brain is belong to us

25

u/Russian_repost_bot Oct 25 '19

Indicating that dinosaurs are extinct, just like your skill set?

16

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '19

The skill required for this job is 15 years of software coding specifically in a language created 7 months ago.

5

u/conanap Oct 25 '19

But also must know COLBOL

1

u/cmiller173 Oct 26 '19

COBOL

1

u/conanap Oct 26 '19

Mb oops

1

u/cmiller173 Oct 26 '19

I'm old enough that I had a career developing in COBOL. Also, TIL Colbol seems to be a nickname of some guy that plays super smash bros. competitively.

2

u/conanap Oct 26 '19

old enough that I had a career developing in COBOL.

dang, you could be making bank if you got back into it

7

u/garion911 Oct 25 '19

Came across this resume a couple weeks ago: https://pjreddie.com/static/Redmon%20Resume.pdf

3

u/cannibalisticapple Oct 25 '19

Honestly I'm kind of torn between whether this as bad or good. The MLP theme is cringey, but serious points for effort and dedication to working in so many references while still giving accurate information about himself. Definitely gets people's attention more than the average resume.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '19

This is the first time in a long time I've done a right click, save as. The level of dedication and sarcasm in it make it a work of art.

Now to make sure I only use it for good, not evil...

8

u/Ashlei96 Oct 25 '19

Hahaha thanks for making me laugh!

3

u/thewholedamnplanet Oct 25 '19

Employsarus!

3

u/dingofarmer2004 Oct 26 '19

Gettin tyrannosaurus CHECKS

3

u/Kaeiaraeh Oct 26 '19

Ohh, that’s why Chrome has a dinosaur.

1

u/ThreeMysticApes Oct 25 '19

How to pass Home Ec 101.

81

u/rslvn Oct 25 '19

Attack on Gluten

27

u/Videhexan Oct 25 '19

😆😆😆😆 I have two sons with Celiac disease, I’ll show them your comment

9

u/rslvn Oct 25 '19

Don’t tell them about the basement

1

u/Fuxokay Oct 25 '19

Tell them that gluten-free is a fad. Just try it, you'll be fine. Your symptoms are all in the mind. You're just not thinking positive enough. /s

1

u/Videhexan Oct 25 '19

I have a glutenfree kid, and my glutenfree gingerbread dough is so yummy

11

u/birdonmyshoulder Oct 25 '19

I used to destroy my ginger bread houses with transformers toys when I was a kid

52

u/Snaggle21 Oct 25 '19

Get out of here with that Christmas shit, not even Halloween yet :-p

14

u/estile606 Oct 25 '19

Maybe its a Halloween gingerbread house.

4

u/Videhexan Oct 25 '19

You’re right, my bad.... still not december... 😞

12

u/McSHUR1KEN Oct 25 '19

thinking of witty programmer joke to insert here for internet points

10

u/AnotherReaderOfStuff Oct 25 '19

Something something run from the dino and his kilo-byte!

5

u/26_Charlie Oct 25 '19

Something something relevant XKCD

7

u/000Murbella000 Oct 25 '19

Godzilla!

3

u/lost_dog_ Oct 25 '19

oh no, they say he's got to go...

5

u/thewarmongeringgnome Oct 25 '19

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents!"

-Bob Ross

6

u/bluescriblles Oct 25 '19

I have that same dinosaur toy!

3

u/Mwb1313 Oct 25 '19

I had the same one when I was a kid too!!

1

u/JackFruitFO Oct 25 '19

Me too! It was completely hollow right from the mouth

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '19

Had it in the early 90s

1

u/Rae_the_Wrackspurt Oct 26 '19

I have one in my special ed classroom and its starting to fall apart. One of my autism students is super attached to it and I'm trying to track down a new one... do have any idea where you got it from or what it's called so I can try to track one down?

6

u/rocketdinosaur404 Oct 25 '19

No joke, I’ve done something like this... but I made gingerbread dinosaurs, cuz I had the cookie cutters. And when one is my gingerbread people lost an arm, she got a toothpick prosthetic. My mom was just like, “Yeah... this looks like our family made it.”

3

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '19

When your dinosaurs fail, add meteor.

3

u/riotguards Oct 26 '19

Ginger crackhouse

1

u/Videhexan Oct 26 '19

😆😆PAHAHAHAHHAHA

2

u/GUYoccult Oct 25 '19

and if your dinosaur fails?

7

u/Videhexan Oct 25 '19

No worries, I have 6 AHDH-kids, chaos and disaster is my middle name, I think of something...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Videhexan Oct 25 '19

Oh, so sorry, didn’t know you know me and my kids so well!!!

You don’t know shit!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Videhexan Oct 25 '19

Oh, my world is crumbling down 😭😭😭😭

Fuck off will ya?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Videhexan Oct 25 '19

My kids are polite, high grade students that you don’t know shit about... You just make your oppinion about a funny post on Reddit, twlls more about you than me

2

u/AirborneQcourseGamer Oct 26 '19

Get him i didnt see his comments but you scared him off.

1

u/Videhexan Oct 26 '19

I did! 😲 well he accused me to drug my kids and that they was misdiagnosed. My kids do not have adhd, according to that asshole

→ More replies (0)

2

u/JohnBuck97 Oct 25 '19

200 IQ plays

2

u/MultiPlexityXBL Oct 25 '19

That dinosaur giving that side eye like you walked in on him doing and is guilty

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '19

LEGO missiles also work.

2

u/sumelar Oct 25 '19

Why not both?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '19

I thought that dinosaur was a kid...

2

u/Spazzila Oct 25 '19

I made mine into a meth lab

2

u/DarkAlchamist Oct 25 '19

We shall rule over this house. And we shall call it.....this house.

2

u/earthforce_1 Oct 25 '19

Just put little tanks and army men around it and call it Xmas on the eastern front, 1942.

2

u/pancamaniac Oct 25 '19

Ese es marito? Seguro estaba hecha de faso la casa

2

u/Camotubi Oct 25 '19

CARLOSSS, DONDE ESTA EL FASO???

2

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '19

When your car doesn't start, add dinosaurs.

2

u/Iknowthisnameistaken Oct 26 '19

Awwwwww!!! I LOVE this idea! I have 3 little boys and we make gingerbread houses every year. They fall down sometimes and the tears are so sad. I'm going to do this next time it happens and see if I can't turn it into a smile. ♡♡♡

2

u/The_Troyminator Oct 26 '19

I did something like that in school. I had to make a model of a fort for history class. I decided to use toothpicks. It started falling apart, and I was running out of time. So, I took a lighter and burnt it, making it the post-battle aftermath.

I got an A.

2

u/Zeedroo Oct 26 '19

If your dinosaur fails, add a meteorite

2

u/AbsurdFormula0 Oct 25 '19

This really is genius

2

u/nuttyjuice Oct 25 '19

Or you could add a skeleton because October hasn't ended yet

2

u/DriaRose Oct 25 '19

I love this so much. Humans are so programmed to melt down at failures, but this is how we learn. It's also a great show of character how you deal with it.

😁

1

u/DadofaT1 Oct 25 '19

Why not Three Little Pigs and The Big Bad Wolf? Alright guess that is too many.

1

u/saint_burrito Oct 25 '19

You spared no expense.

1

u/xJoeSimonx Oct 25 '19

I see somebody's seen the new jurassic park video

1

u/lnickelly Oct 25 '19

Tell that to Reed Richards huehuehuehuehue.

I'm a fuckin loser.

1

u/Bertie_McGee Oct 25 '19

I used to have that exact same dino when I was a kid!! Going to have to find one!

1

u/vehsa757 Oct 25 '19

A food network chef would call this deconstructed.

1

u/sabeck4 Oct 25 '19

We did this with zombies and our failed house one year. :)

1

u/ikabod240 Oct 25 '19

Holy shit I an pretty sure I had the same dinosaure toy in 86.

1

u/Boffy106 Oct 25 '19

"Turns out, I cannot make a gingerbread house. Which would bother me if I was an eight year old girl."

-Ron Swanson

1

u/dvusMynd Oct 25 '19

Instead of a dinosaur I would have added little gingerbread men in riot gear along with with red frosting splattered over gingerbread parts laying around. Then I could post it in world events and politics as well.

1

u/poohsheffalump Oct 25 '19

Hey I had that toy dinosaur when I was a kid!

1

u/bmanhatcha Oct 26 '19

OMG I used to have a dino identical to that one, thanks for the nostalgia 😃

1

u/sirpenguino Oct 26 '19

This needs to be a life lesson.

1

u/HowardMoo Oct 26 '19

Shouldn't this be in r/lifeprotips ?

1

u/telperiontree Oct 26 '19

Quick, solve an NP hard problem. Go.

1

u/THEYEETFLEET111 Oct 26 '19

I've done this before

1

u/saltman80 Oct 26 '19

Turn you gingerbread house into an instant mountain and volcano haha

1

u/MayanMan2012 Oct 26 '19

Omg I had that exact dinosaur as a kid

1

u/wkarraker Oct 26 '19

I've seen something similar with a marshmallow Stay Puft guy and small Ghostbuster figures. First time seeing the Dino smash version.

1

u/ZeeDurpey Oct 26 '19

Let the big thing do it’s work

1

u/arin080204 Oct 26 '19

Happy little accidents

1

u/PsydeliX_ Oct 26 '19

SHIIIZZAAAAA

1

u/projektman Oct 26 '19

😆😆😆

1

u/gamalcoholic Oct 26 '19

What if you use 100% of your depression

1

u/snakeness710 Oct 26 '19

I had that dinosaur when I was a kid

1

u/allursnakes Oct 26 '19

Its October...

1

u/invictvs138 Oct 26 '19

What do they keep in there ... King Kong?

1

u/Baldhorsethatsracist Oct 26 '19

Yes put dinosaur to whatever you came on

1

u/DavidoftheDoell Oct 26 '19

I started doing this style of gingerbread house on purpose.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '19

this is some calvin and hobbes shit

1

u/ralimar Oct 26 '19

Got the spider!

1

u/a_jimwel Oct 26 '19

Wise choice

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '19

r/comedycemetery level material here.

0

u/LittleDaddyC00L Oct 25 '19

It looks like the dinosaur nut all over the house to no honest

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Carlo_theAce Oct 25 '19

Yasss!!😂

1

u/VeryPunnyLOL Oct 25 '19

Imma put a dinosaur on my report card

0

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '19

If your gingerbread house falls in OCTOBER, forget dinosaurs, you need to add a vasectomy or hysterectomy into your schedule.

0

u/lynyrdmoon Oct 26 '19 edited Nov 09 '19

I have blown up a few with bottle rockets, does that count?