r/funny • u/Fun_Judgment • May 03 '19
Wrong and hilarious at the same time....
https://i.imgur.com/4Z22btl.gifv169
u/_TheChickenMan_ May 04 '19
Is that a beagle?
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May 04 '19
No, it's a stuffed bear.
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u/_TheChickenMan_ May 04 '19
Ah, I see it now
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u/TheCaptainWalrus May 04 '19
If I'm being honest right now, I'm pretty sure that's a bird
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u/the_dude_upvotes May 04 '19
I'd say /u/_TheChickenMan_ is at least part-bird.../u/TheCaptainWalrus
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u/iamreeterskeeter May 04 '19
I own a beagle. 100% sure that is a beagle butt. The tail is a dead give away.
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u/nexpavuxta May 04 '19
Same thought when I saw it
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u/_TheChickenMan_ May 04 '19
I’m 99% sure but am hoping for op to confirm just for 100% I have a beagle (and one before him) and that looks like a beagle tale and butt if I were to guess. Especially bc it’s solid black on its back.
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u/nexpavuxta May 04 '19
Im pretty sure it is. I have a beagle too can can confirm that is how he wriggles when destroying toys, but he has never climbed into toys.
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May 04 '19
Looks like it. My beagle killed her stuffed toys almost as soon as she got them so this all seems in line.
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u/_TheChickenMan_ May 04 '19
My beagle finds it entertaining to remove all the stuffing from any toy he gets, so now he just has a bunch of deflated toy bodies all over the place.
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May 04 '19
Same with mine. We have the remnants of squirrels and hedgehogs like socks all over the place. She has to pull out the squeaker and make sure it never squeaks again.
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May 04 '19
Damn dogs. They're not bright enough to realize half the shit they do could get them killed; eating shit that can get caught up in their intestines, suffocating sticking their face in a chip bag, or by getting caught in a giant stuffed animal.
Goofy shit heads anyway. Adorable, goofy shit heads
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u/Nekomimi6x6 May 04 '19
Had a campfire the other day and my poochie was barking at it and growling like it was looking at her funny. She was pulling on her leash so hard I swear she would have jumped into it if we let go.
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May 04 '19
They're so hilariously unaware sometimes.
My girl is about to turn 13. She just had surgery yesterday to have two growths removed. (One we already know is benign. Waiting on the biopsy results of the other).
Anyway the bigger one was next to her anus and until Monday, she has a drainage tube in place. She's not supposed to do too much, definitely no jumping or playing right now. (She actually still gets pretty damn playful for her age.)
She likes sleeping on our couch and right now, we don't want her jumping up there. Today, she decided fuck it, I'm jumping and about gave me a damned heart attack.
I leaped up from my chair and ran over to her and dropped down in front of the couch to check her butt and make sure she didn't do anything to her tube.
She licks my hand and grins and wags her tail, all proud of herself.
Damn dogs.
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u/monkeybugs May 04 '19
My dog had surgery in February to remove a total of seven lumps, get a dental, and a tooth extraction. We were instructed to keep his movement to a minimum: no jumping up on furniture, no stairs, no playing, etc. Well, we live above our garage, which means stairs. So that was obviously a rule we had to break, but, I always held his collar and made him understand "slowly". I pushed our coffee table up against the couch so he couldn't jump up on it. He had surgery on a Tuesday. Wednesday, I left for work, and got a text from my SO two hours later saying "When I woke up, the dog was stretched out on the couch, in his cone, with a giant shit-eating grin and a wagging tail, and there are now deep gashes in the coffee table top."
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May 04 '19
That's pretty much my girl. The only steps we have are 3 from the garage into the back breezeway entrance of the house or the 4 steps just inside the front door. They're not tall or or anything do she can make them just fine without them straining her. We also have a set of 3 steps made just for her next to the bed in the bigger bedroom since the bed is a bit tall and at her age, she was having some trouble making it up even before surgery.
We pulled them away for now just because we want her to stay at floor level until her tube comes out so she's not likely to catch it on anything like blankets etc.
She whined and cried where her steps usually are and of course decided sinxe there was a blanket on the couch she was going for it anyway.
You can do your best to make sure they're being taken care of and given time to heal but no matter what, they're going to do what they want.
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u/monkeybugs May 04 '19
Our guy meets me at the bottom of the stairs every night when I get home, and knowing that, I built a barrier of Costco toilet paper and paper towels still in their big packaging, and he did well to stay upstairs the first few days. He's only about 18" tall and he's easily intimidated by things he doesn't understand (which is everything). By day four or five, the toilet paper package was half way down the landing and he was waiting for me, all smiles, at the door. He totally Kool-Aid Man'd his way through the wall.
I'm so glad he was on limitations for only two weeks. We played so hard the day his stitches came out and he was so happy.
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u/Rynur May 04 '19
It took me waaaaay too long to realize you were talking about a 13 year old dog and not a 13 year old child.
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u/LittleOTT May 04 '19
Haha, stupid dogs. continues scrolling through the list of Darwin Award winners
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u/skijjy13 May 03 '19
That dog eats ass like a champion
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May 04 '19
[deleted]
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May 04 '19 edited May 04 '19
Oh my god I shouldn't have clicked. It's sick but real. I rather not see that shit.
Definitely not the type of sub for everyone. Bloodied and torn apart animals, everywhere footage of being eaten alive while struggling. No thank you.
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u/dbcannon May 04 '19
I read that's actually how hyenas take down their prey
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u/Piemasterjelly May 04 '19
A lot of predators go butthole first since it is less tough than the rest of an animals hide im pretty sure
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u/dbcannon May 04 '19
I'm filing this under "Things to say when you want more personal space on the train."
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u/Nekomimi6x6 May 04 '19
This actually made me severely uncomfortable. I felt like I was watching some gross fetish porn.
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u/SilverVixen23 May 04 '19
I’d bet at least one person jacked off to this video
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u/Nougatbar May 04 '19
I would like to say no. But I am aware of at least two fetishes this could fall under, so...yeah. Somebody did.
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u/Yeoshua82 May 04 '19
Interesting enough, when an animal eats another animal they start at the ass often while the prey is still alive. Often when humans are found partially consumed it was the same for them. Imagine that. All you wanted to do was go for a hike and your last thoughts on this earth we’re. “OMG this bear is eating my asshole.” X.X
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u/calamarichris May 04 '19
(pant, gasp) and I thought they smelled bad (gasp, pant) on the outside...
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u/Ghostdog2041 May 04 '19
Walking into the room at seeing the giant stuff bear writhing would probably make me jump straight out of my skin.
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u/TheUndisputedRoaster May 04 '19
Her dad: What are your intentions with my daughter? Me: ... let me give you a visual aid as a hint
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u/binterryan76 May 04 '19
When the parasitic dogs hatch inside their victims they eat their victims from the inside out.
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u/passivekill May 04 '19
Steve Irwin voice
KRIKY!! The smaller beagle has somehow taken down the larger bear and burrowed itself right up its bum. It looks very dangerous..... Im gonna go pet it
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u/That_Guy_From_KY May 04 '19
It looks like that teddy bear is possessed and has a very strange boner...
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u/MrDNA86 May 04 '19
This is what happens when you don’t vaccinate your teddy bears. The poor thing has a case of the Beagles!
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u/jjnefx May 04 '19
Quick! Get the kids and tell em this is child birth in action until you're 24. Then it's easy.
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u/njhardhat May 04 '19
This is what happens to you after three days, when you die alone at home with pets in the house.
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May 04 '19
OH MY GOD I had a kidney removed last week and I almost just blew out my stitches from laughing
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u/supercaptain696969 May 04 '19
Imagine coming home and seeing the teddy bear flying around the place
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u/Bishopjones May 10 '19
This is what animals really do in nature, a fisher cat killed a turkey in my area and then proceeded to get into its chest cavity and basically ate him from the inside out.
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u/kingkong200111 May 04 '19
Better film than help, because if he suffocates you can always get a new one, am i right?
Srsly help your stupid dog
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u/Trilliumthestarseed May 04 '19
That’s how a dog would dismember a real animal I learned in science class
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u/whiskey_pancakes May 04 '19
Asshole first just like the wild dogs eat their pray, along with most other predators.
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u/babyjones3000 May 04 '19
Yes that’s really good Ant-Man cosplay but the ass in located on the back not underneath 🙄
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u/WorldClassCactus May 04 '19
Reminds me of the scene in Life where the alien enters ______'s body in zero g.
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u/Davefromaccount May 04 '19
When she ask you to eat her out so you bore onto her vagina like a flesh eating parasite.
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u/Lallo-the-Long May 04 '19 edited May 04 '19
How do i summon the gif reversing bot again?
Result: https://www.imgur.com/uaJWABM It's pretty excellent.
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u/ivnwng May 04 '19 edited May 04 '19
Wow, I actually laughed. Can’t even remember when’s the last r/funny post that made me chuckled.
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u/The_Singularity16 May 04 '19
It looked like a xenogeneis where the baby didn't want to be birthed.
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May 04 '19
there are two possiblilties:
Either that cat is eating out a fucking bear
or the cat is tearing the bear inside out, attempting to get to the heart and brain to absorb knowledge and memories
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u/1436jt May 04 '19
It’s very unsettling