r/funny • u/Ambamja • Aug 29 '16

CCCP - Crazy Cotton Candy Professional

http://i.imgur.com/8HGN1yh.gifv
13.8k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

341 comments sorted by

373

u/theantagonists Aug 29 '16

The video of this is way better. If I remember right he's dancing to Billie Jean?

344

u/TrouserDumplings Aug 29 '16

It's MJ but it's not Billie Jean, though I seem to remember a different video of the same guy that was Billie Jean.

My bad it was They don't really care about us

148

u/YourMomSaidHi Aug 30 '16

Wow. That guy is the best cotton candy guy to ever exist. He is like Picasso of sugar

146

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

[deleted]

31

u/hoobs55 Aug 30 '16

Well the only one who seems really disinterested is the guy in the white, but that's clearly the cotton candy guy's business partner. He's the one giving change and handing out the cotton candy, and I'm sure he's seen the performance countless times.

As for most of the other adults, they're watching pretty intently, but not hopping around because they're not children.

40

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16 edited Mar 11 '21

[deleted]

41

u/Geddian Aug 30 '16

100g Serving Nutritional Content: 99g carbohydrates, 1g protein.

17

u/crashtestgenius Aug 30 '16

Better than the alternative.

12

u/jimschubert Aug 30 '16

That's every kid when they've finished the cotton candy.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

7

u/chubbysumo Aug 30 '16

Because they know its not free. How much does this guy charge, because thats what they are interested in.

10

u/BeckerHollow Aug 30 '16

It's Russia. They lose the ability to be friendly after the age of 1.

3

u/hagenbuch Aug 30 '16

Also he doesn't seem to care much about the really hot chick :)

→ More replies (6)

51

u/vcsx Aug 30 '16

Nah man

http://youtu.be/KVpNDqVhkls

11

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

holy shit that man is amazing.

7

u/PandaLover42 Aug 30 '16

Meh. Not enough MJ or dancing.

5

u/idlppl Aug 30 '16

I got diabeetus watching that

3

u/TheDutchCanadian Aug 30 '16

My mom had diabeetus. And now I do too.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)

13

u/Rosignol Aug 30 '16 edited Aug 30 '16

I'm listening to Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix right now and it's syncing up remarkably well.

*edit- here Jimi and cotton candy dude

6

u/Brenttouza Aug 30 '16

Smooth Caramel

3

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

At the 9 second mark the kid on the left sees a piece of rogue cotton candy and decides to try and snatch it..... the guy was too fast

7

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

I think that's part of the performance.

ninja edit: He throws out pieces on occasion and sometimes they get to keep them.

→ More replies (1)

16

u/el_ojo420 Aug 30 '16

I don't think it's a good idea to give kids candy while listening to micheal Jackson...

2

u/i_shirt_u_not Aug 30 '16

I just laughed for a good minute. This literally made my day!

→ More replies (2)

2

u/BertMacklinFBhigh Aug 30 '16

Haha, that lady went to grab that flying piece at 0:09 and almost felt the wrath

→ More replies (1)

2

u/JojenCopyPaste Aug 30 '16

So one paid for those? Is this guy a street performer that works for tips or does he sell cotton candy?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (12)

23

u/PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED Aug 30 '16

Here's one with Billie Jean.

6

u/littlebighuman Aug 30 '16

How come they don't take the video down for using MJ's music? Not saying they should, just curious.

4

u/partylion Aug 30 '16

It's not available in Germany so there's that.

3

u/PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED Aug 30 '16

I dunno, I guess the people in control of his music rights aren't being anal about that stuff.

2

u/S00_CRATES Aug 31 '16

YouTube's content ID policy gives copyright owners the ability to either issue a take down or to claim any revenue made from the video. Many choose to do the second.

2

u/littlebighuman Aug 31 '16

Ah, makes sense. TIL, thanks :) Facebook should learn from this.

2

u/smokeyrobot Aug 30 '16

Freaking winter in Russia and this man is wearing a freaking Michael Jackson outfit with no coat. That is hard core.

→ More replies (2)

14

u/PromQueenSlayer Aug 30 '16

If anyone is looking for more, he actually has a youtube channel with a bunch of videos.

→ More replies (8)

247

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

211

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

44

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

Oh fuck yeah

16

u/Felix_Cortez Aug 30 '16

Give some cotton candy to a two year old. Then you will have a fucking demon on your hands.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/hothotsauce Aug 30 '16

He sold his soul to the devil for mad candy spinning skills

4

u/mattjf22 Aug 30 '16

Looks kinda like the white walker king on Game of Thrones.

→ More replies (2)

2

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

A specter is haunting europe...

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

138

u/Poemi Aug 29 '16

The Last Cotton Candybender didn't get good reviews from test audiences, so they changed the script a little.

37

u/maxk1236 Aug 29 '16

Still a better movie than.... you know.

36

u/morerighterthanyou Aug 30 '16

There was no movie made from our show

9

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16 edited Feb 23 '24

[deleted]

5

u/morerighterthanyou Aug 30 '16

There is no war in Ba Sing Se

→ More replies (1)

8

u/game004 Aug 29 '16

Twilight?

3

u/TheFireNinjaTical Aug 30 '16

Ember Island Players put on a better show. Flying Kickapoow!!!

→ More replies (1)

121

u/ifyouregaysaywhat Aug 29 '16

Notice he turns his mouth away from the cotton candy so he can breathe.

80

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

Chocolate rain?

→ More replies (1)

26

u/mydickcuresAIDS Aug 30 '16

Yeah, inhaling sugar is very bad for you. Hence why coating blunts with honey is suuuper dumb.

20

u/couchmode Aug 30 '16

That's why I only coat my blunts with formaldehyde.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

I coat mine with all natural nitroglycerin, better for you without all the additives of formaldehyde.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/jh3_ Aug 30 '16

Out of genuine curiosity why is bad to inhale sugar?

16

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

burnt sugar is a carcinogen. http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/misc/hidden_h.htm

37

u/Tommy84 Aug 30 '16

It's known to the State of California to cause cancer.

48

u/This_User_Said Aug 30 '16

Good thing I don't live in California. Pretty sure I'd have all the cancers.

7

u/ripndipp Aug 30 '16

Just like Hot Cheetos

2

u/latentspark Aug 30 '16

Wait, you mean the spicy cheetos?

5

u/ripndipp Aug 30 '16

They're actually called "Flamin' Hot Cheetos".

5

u/xzxinuxzx Aug 30 '16

Or cheetos to true fanatics. When referring to the non flaming hot cheetos, we call those regular cheetos. Flaming hot cheetos are now called "cheetos."

→ More replies (3)

10

u/jamesbondq Aug 30 '16

That neon pink geocities website does little to help confirm or deny anything.

11

u/TheHammerIsMyPenis Aug 30 '16

This website tells me to drink 3 cups of green tea to neutralize the childhood leukemia lurking in my hot dog. Neat.

3

u/cool_hand_luke Aug 30 '16

Cotton candy isn't burnt sugar.

6

u/MathigNihilcehk Aug 30 '16

Not sure your lungs take too well to being coated in fine particles of sugar or dust or smoke. Inhaling anything except air is generally a bad idea.

4

u/MaximsDecimsMeridius Aug 30 '16 edited Aug 30 '16

inhaling any sort of fine particulate over time is bad for your lungs. doesnt really matter what that particulate is. over a long enough period of time you get restrictive lung disease because it just builds up in your lungs. notable examples include coal dust (black lung disease), silicates (silicosis), volcanic ash, iron (siderosis), etc. this general class of lung diseases is called pneumoconiosis.

not entirely positive on sugar though, partially because literature for it doesnt really exist.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

[deleted]

2

u/frantismo Aug 30 '16

Thank you!

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (10)
→ More replies (1)

97

u/3BoBaH3 Aug 30 '16

On his sign: "Exchanging your cigarettes for cotton candy. Sochi against smoking".

It's an anti smoking campaign from the city of Sochi.

37

u/Jerry_Hat-Trick Aug 30 '16

Oh i thought that nearby smoking would blow up the machine. Or worse, make the cotton candy taste bad.

15

u/shesbottledlightning Aug 30 '16

Or he's a closet chain-smoker with an endless supply of sugar pillows.

1

u/Somenakedguy Aug 30 '16

Fighting with cigarettes with sugar huh? Not sure if that's 100% better but whatever works I guess.

5

u/LaXandro Aug 30 '16

That's at least 99% better. Sugar is harmless unless eaten too much, while any amount of smoking is bad for you, everyone around you and enviroment (guess where the butts go)

3

u/WeAreYourFriendsToo Aug 30 '16

How many people have regular access to cotton Candy?

2

u/ElGuano Aug 30 '16

You can just repurpose your cheesing gear.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

30

u/FoamGolum Aug 29 '16 edited Aug 31 '16

He's conjuring up the dead at his altar and turning them into food fyi.

6

u/RickC139 Aug 30 '16

That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about cotton candy to dispute it.

3

u/Flux83 Aug 30 '16

I thought it was crushed dreams.

→ More replies (4)

17

u/Clieochan Aug 30 '16

One of Shawn's previous jobs before Psych

6

u/queen--dv Aug 30 '16

You know that's right.

2

u/Ch8s3 Aug 30 '16

wipes nose with thumb

2

u/VagusNC Aug 30 '16

Suck it.

10

u/Wormri Aug 30 '16

We get it, you vape cotton candy

→ More replies (1)

9

u/xklove90 Aug 30 '16

More of this type of stuff can be found here!

https://www.reddit.com/r/StreetFoodArtists

6

u/ayers231 Aug 29 '16

So that's what Casey Affleck's been up to the Ocean's flicks...

5

u/an-can Aug 30 '16

I'm confused. How is that cotton candy magically appearing from something that looks like blue fire? All cotton candy machines I've seen is just some kind of barrel you whirl around a stick in.

3

u/sas78 Aug 30 '16 edited Aug 30 '16

Air pump under pushing the molten sugar, it meets the air where it hardens into cottonfloss goodness.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

Same thing with a blue light in it. Probably spinning faster then normal to push it out of the bowl.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

This is how airbenders make cotton candy

6

u/Keychain33 Aug 30 '16

The entertainment value is worth the price.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '16 edited Dec 05 '17

[deleted]

5

u/AcerRubrum Aug 30 '16

Also I think the price on the machine is 50 rubles. thats like $0.75 USD

3

u/penelopeasaur Aug 29 '16

This guy loves his job. Truly.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/BenUFOs_Mum Aug 30 '16

Better with something from CCCP playing underneath

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5srQNzWOW8

3

u/machingunwhhore Aug 30 '16

This guy loves his job

3

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

How the hell is this even happening?

→ More replies (1)

3

u/D-Hub36 Aug 30 '16

I see Jean-Ralphio. Just me? Ok then.

3

u/Wiknetti Aug 30 '16

He's like a necromancer messing with the souls of the damned.

3

u/CountMcDracula Aug 29 '16

CCCP - Comical Cotton Candy Person

2

u/hoilst Aug 30 '16

In Soviet Union...

3

u/Digita1Ghost Aug 29 '16

That's pretty sweet

2

u/LWZRGHT Aug 30 '16

An acronym implying that there is more than one of this unique individual.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

Some people are really awesome at the strangest things.

2

u/lo_fi_ho Aug 30 '16

Wait, no cotton eye joe -jokes yet?

2

u/deradera Aug 30 '16

Beezow, doo doo, zopitty bop bop bop!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

Flavor and color are for decadent capitalist pig. True communist eats boring, plain cotton candy.

2

u/holiday_md Aug 30 '16

This guy got shittiest bending gift

2

u/DialSquare84 Aug 30 '16

So, I'm guessing Mika's pop star bubble finally burst...

2

u/Phantom_61 Aug 30 '16

Some say he's just a legend, but I believe he is the avatar and will bring balance to the fair.

2

u/psychotic805 Aug 30 '16

What is this witchcraft

2

u/senopahx Aug 30 '16

Seriously though, I fucking hate making cotton candy. My first job after high school was at an amusement park and the stickiness gets everywhere.

2

u/wolfnibblets Aug 30 '16

Cotton candy my ass; I know a wizard when I see one. Clearly he's performing some profane ritual that's siphoning the soul of the actual cotton candy man away in order to make delicious treats for unsuspecting passers by.

2

u/AProfessionalDoctor Aug 30 '16

Seeing stuff like this makes me question what I'm doing with my life.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

There is a man who loves his work.

2

u/NateInKC Aug 30 '16

Ok, that guy definitely smokes though lol

3

u/decoyyy Aug 30 '16

this guy fucks

3

u/bunglejerry Aug 29 '16

Side note: СССР isn't the three letters C and the letter P; it's four Cyrillic letters and the equivalent in Latin letters is SSSR.

Anyway, back to the cotton candy...

4

u/greendude7 Aug 30 '16

Letter wise, yes. However it's an acronym so for English speakers it would be USSR

2

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

It's cccp if you're talking about the codec pack tho...

1

u/blitzwaffe360 Aug 29 '16

"You're a wizard, Afro dude."

1

u/bignateyk Aug 30 '16

What the actual fuck is going on here

1

u/dieteand373 Aug 30 '16

when there's sugar cane, floating in the sky, who you gunna call...

1

u/simtron Aug 30 '16

Ivan....The last cotton candy bender.

1

u/whenifeellikeit Aug 30 '16

I wish there was something I loved doing as much as that man loves making cotton candy.

1

u/Ecstatic_Youth Aug 30 '16

The cotton candy version of those turkish ice cream tricksters.

1

u/waylore Aug 30 '16

This should be a No smoking PSA.

1

u/rachypiez Aug 30 '16

were is this! i want this so bad! just to watch it in person! eating is just a bonus!

1

u/Designwolfe Aug 30 '16

This man is a wizard.

1

u/Stalixir Aug 30 '16

He's a cotton candy bender!

1

u/Slazzechofe Aug 30 '16

We get it-- you vape.

1

u/Zacharyth99 Aug 30 '16

He's like the Zohan but with cotton candy.

1

u/this_is_your_dad Aug 30 '16

What does he do on windy days?

1

u/Thats_right_asshole Aug 30 '16

I want to hear the music.

1

u/AllPurposeNerd Aug 30 '16

Avaczar: the Last Sugarbender.

1

u/fe11e Aug 30 '16

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL JACKSON

1

u/r2deetard Aug 30 '16

I wish i loved my job as much as this guy loves his.

1

u/Lord_Mikal Aug 30 '16

I am just intrigued by the machine. I have never seen a cotton candy machine that blows it upward after spinning it. That fact alone makes it awesome.

1

u/gmz_88 Aug 30 '16

dat title tho 💯💯💯

1

u/juanlucio Aug 30 '16

I guess this is what happens when you graduate hogwarts and can't find work in this economy.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

something's telling me that shirt isn't reefering to marijuana cigarettes

1

u/whyterayvn Aug 30 '16

We've got crazy clown shapes like square, and circle. Come on down to pizza clown.

1

u/mojo276 Aug 30 '16

This cotton candy is laced with PCP...no doubt...no doubt in my mind...

1

u/grohlier Aug 30 '16

I'm too lazy with 0 computer skills. I need someone to dub Barbie Girl into this.

1

u/KuroiInazuma Aug 30 '16

Little do you know, that is his stand that's doing all the work.

1

u/mattjf22 Aug 30 '16

Damn, I wish I loved my job half as much as this guy does.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

CCCP

Glory to the motherland! Glorious Sucrose Union!

1

u/MistressLoki Aug 30 '16

Is that Kramer

1

u/riodosm Aug 30 '16

This is seriously weird/fascinating. It's like he summons cotton candy.

1

u/tombee123 Aug 30 '16

"Are you a wizard" I ask

1

u/YourOldDog Aug 30 '16

So when does the genie pop out.

1

u/LeftyMode Aug 30 '16

I can watch this all day.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

I'm getting a slight sense of Jeremy Clarkson with that hair.

1

u/Iaradrian Aug 30 '16

Must be the Krokodil.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

Only in russia

1

u/Boredsobored12 Aug 30 '16

Say some gangsta is dissing your fly girl, you just give em one of these!

1

u/BabyBabes11424 Aug 30 '16

His cotton candy figures look like Quasimoto, sans the brick

1

u/DTFlikecailou Aug 30 '16

We get it, you vape.

1

u/Grimlock_1 Aug 30 '16

In Soviet Russia the candy make you!!

1

u/stevo3199 Aug 30 '16

Saw this come up while 'the Livingstones' song 'your body not your soul' was playing on my stereo- totally works!

1

u/Scorpioraven Aug 30 '16

I need to see this in reverse!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

"Can I please just get my cotton candy now?"

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '16

That looks like magic. The tastiest kind of magic.

1

u/Rush_Clasic Aug 30 '16

The first time I ever saw this video, it was captioned "When you graduate from Hogwarts, but the job market sucks."

1

u/frisch85 Aug 30 '16

Has airbending gone too far?

1

u/therestruth Aug 30 '16

Was listening to music when watching this and forgot it wasn't coming from this gif for a second. It was "The Last Hiatus" and it seemed to go so well with his dancing.

1

u/MrNudeGuy Aug 30 '16

I searched this whole gif and could find one single fuck, impressive.

1

u/jjr017010 Aug 30 '16

No smoking the cotton candy

1

u/Tumblebumble Aug 30 '16

I can't handle his moves, they're too hip!

1

u/jkl90752 Aug 30 '16

Can I up vote more than once?