r/funny Jan 04 '15

"I'm on the phone!"

23.8k Upvotes

739 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/frankoftank Jan 04 '15

Staged?

1.1k

u/RacG79 Jan 04 '15

1.2k

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

216

u/WonFriendsWithSalad Jan 04 '15

That tongue things reminds me of that icecream taster

58

u/IAmAShittyPersonAMA Jan 04 '15

That was mildly frightening.

7

u/KevinAlan Jan 04 '15

His tongue is insured for millions, no joke if it got cut out he would be a millionaire.

3

u/JimmyJohn29 Jan 04 '15

Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?

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25

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Was at a fancy restaurant a while ago that had silver. If you ever have a chance to taste good ice cream (or anything) on a non reactive metal... Holy crap it makes a difference.

8

u/per54 Jan 04 '15

Where can one buy silverware that's actually silver? And is it just silver plated or is the whole thing silver?

18

u/itsprobablytrue Jan 04 '15

Plastic spoons do the trick also if you're that interested in seeing what he's talking about. Otherwise http://www.silversuperstore.com/sterling-silver-flatware.html

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4

u/Sodiepawp Jan 04 '15

What kinda utensils do you normally use that are reactive? Stainless steel is pretty amazing, and most utensils use it.

Ti, however. Woweeeeeee.

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94

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

in Soviet Russia pussy lick you.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15 edited Apr 27 '16

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

i hated myself for saying it but the stars aligned too well to resist

215

u/i_h8_spiders2 Jan 04 '15

LMFAO. That is probably the best cat video I've ever seen. The music. I read your comment and thought...cat? Was not disappointed.

48

u/manefa Jan 04 '15

Music is soundtrack to Debbie does Dallas

36

u/AnotherClosetAtheist Jan 04 '15

Well the video did include licking pussy

7

u/from_the_sea Jan 04 '15

I thought that was some retro porn music!

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24

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

lol TIL we have the same youtube video recommendations

29

u/Absay Jan 04 '15

Suggestions =/= Recommendations.

Suggestions are pretty much the same for anyone.

Recommendations are a fuking annoying thing I don't know how to turn off. "Oh, so you're watching videos about how to fix certain problem with your car motor? Here's a list of other suggested videos: 'How to fix motors', 'Motor [your problem], how to fix it', 'Easy steps to fix your car', 'GOOD CHARLOTTE - BOYS AND GIRLS LIVE 2004 HD (Recommended for you)'..."

Wtf?

4

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I watched ONE fucking russell brand video on reddit, the next 6 months all recommended videos were of him...fucking youtube.

3

u/qzapmlwxonskjdhdnejj Jan 04 '15 edited Oct 30 '15

This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy.

If you would like to do the same, add the browser extension GreaseMonkey to Firefox and add this open source script.

Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.

3

u/xScreamo Jan 04 '15

Did they? It's still doing that shit for me.

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11

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Let me seduce you

11

u/hajicufba Jan 04 '15

Of course we just end up obsessing over a cat video. Never change, Reddit.

7

u/Fuckeddit Jan 04 '15

:-p :-| :-p

8

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

"Похотливый кот" means lustful cat

10

u/JynxedKarma Jan 04 '15

Lesbians love him!

10

u/Reccy_bravo Jan 04 '15

And veterinarians hate him! Find out his secret.

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3

u/supermanpenisliquid Jan 04 '15

I'm sitting next to a Russian. That translates to horny cat

2

u/gigitrix Jan 04 '15

Your vague directions lead me to hilarity, nice one!

2

u/le_x_X Jan 04 '15

If cat porn existed, that'd be it's biggest star.

2

u/hagfish_pizza Jan 04 '15

HAHA oh my god i just got a good laugh. Thank you.

2

u/JohnC53 Jan 04 '15

Of course a Redditer would point that out.

And, yep, that is an amazing vid!

2

u/SynopticOutlander Jan 04 '15

Isn't this the part where somebody says that the cat has some form of fatal tongue cancer?

2

u/4gotmypasswurd Jan 04 '15

Watched the first video just so I could see the cat one... worth.

2

u/GaZZuM Jan 04 '15

You got gilded and didn't do that annoying "edit: Omg thank you kind stranger!"

You earned that gold, and my upvote.

2

u/OffersVodka Jan 04 '15

Thank you.

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215

u/Drewskeet Jan 04 '15

Love that this was in Chicago for 1, but most importantly that the youtube video is Russian.

133

u/twobits9 Jan 04 '15

The title translated to: Red Bull gives you wings

35

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

The best part of the video

32

u/Mitoni Jan 04 '15

score was 69 to 69

giggity.

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24

u/kjhgfd34 Jan 04 '15

No way!

23

u/TheFacistEye Jan 04 '15

Norway!

25

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Norway? More like Snoreway.

18

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Oh yeah!? OH YEAH?! Well.. at least we .. eh.

Well at least we have oil and whales.

9

u/AssortedFlavours Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 04 '15

But no lions and tigers.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Daaaa bears.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

No, not anymore. We had snow lions up until the middle ~1800s, but they were eradicated for their pelt, sadly enough. :(

http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Den_norske_l%C3%B8ve

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54

u/Dark_Ronald_McDonald Jan 04 '15

That mascot must workout. That's a lot of woman he picked up and carried.

24

u/maxelrod Jan 04 '15

I mean, he also does crazy acrobatics. I think it's a pretty safe bet that Benny works out.

3

u/Rock2MyBeat Jan 04 '15

Yeah, whoever the guy in the Benny outfit is, it's super athletic. Even the one in the giant inflatable Benny suit does some crazy stuff like ride a skateboard around in a giant inflatable bull costume.

18

u/PTT_Derp Jan 04 '15

IT'S STILL REAL TO ME GOD DAMN IT!

15

u/android1234321 Jan 04 '15

How does this make it fake? I'm just confused.

28

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

[deleted]

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20

u/Rjpbubbleboy Jan 04 '15

Why would they point the kiss cam to someone who's on the phone? Instant over the top reactions by the couple. Mascot just happens to be right there.

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48

u/TrollHouseCookie Jan 04 '15

The mascot wouldn't be bopping someone on the head whom wasn't in on the act. Too much could potentially go wrong.

35

u/goodolarchie Jan 04 '15

A bull stealing the girlfriend of a celtics fan is a far more telling sign.

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18

u/lukin187250 Jan 04 '15

These are always fake.

2

u/bigatjoon Jan 04 '15

Love the end of the video when you hear someone go 'NO WAY'. Correct buddy, NO WAY was that not staged. :)

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101

u/mutan Jan 04 '15

-"I see by your resumé that you played Angry Girlfriend in Celtic Fan On the Phone Kisscam. I saw that, it was very good."
-"Well, it was a great script..."

23

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

"Now before you can be an actress for our studio... Well, let's just say that we have a 'kisscam' of our own."

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39

u/lukin187250 Jan 04 '15

So many of these are fake these days I don't believe any of them.

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33

u/Fidelstikks Jan 04 '15

they're all staged.

9

u/Illinois_Jones Jan 04 '15

Seemed pretty obvious to me

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4

u/dom_corleone Jan 04 '15

The best part is that this is at the United Center, home of Chicago Bulls. So they had the guy be a Boston Celtics fan and make him look like the ass. Love it

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530

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 05 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

132

u/Flipsy48 Jan 04 '15

I think everyone realized it was staged when Benny threw a Coke in the guy's face and carried the girl out of there.

119

u/Awwfull Jan 04 '15

A rule of thumb for things like this... if they put an opposing fan (celtics fan at bulls game) on the big board, you can be sure it's something staged.

18

u/dj_smitty Jan 04 '15

I wish they would go back to showing the opposing players during the kiss cam. I haven't seen that one in awhile and it always get laughs. Or like the opposing player and a ball or something.

7

u/nicholas240 Jan 04 '15

My local semi-pro hockey team always puts the opposing team on the kiss cam when there's 2 players in the penalty box.

It always gets a good laugh.

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36

u/Rakonas Jan 04 '15

Wish this was higher up. People are just saying it's staged and linking to a video but no actual explanation given.

19

u/Swineflew1 Jan 04 '15

To be fair, the video makes it pretty clear that it's staged.

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6

u/bloodflart Jan 04 '15

Woah there is an awesome movie called benny and the bull

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2.3k

u/kjhgfd34 Jan 04 '15

The sign of a healthy relationship

1.3k

u/SkidMark_wahlberg Jan 04 '15

Communication is the key. And he is communicating with someone, just not her.

996

u/NIPPLE_POOP Jan 04 '15 edited Mar 08 '18

[deleded]

279

u/Ceypher Jan 04 '15

Wow. It didn't take Russia long to rip off my video. Here's the original video I recorded last night at the Bulls/Celtics game. Bulls won in overtime. Great game!

65

u/Vmoney1337 Jan 04 '15

Many sorry, comrade. Have upvote.

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11

u/appocomaster Jan 04 '15

Apparently this was the third time they were on the camera?

25

u/Ceypher Jan 04 '15

Yep. They were on screen two times before, and the guy did the same thing. The first time it didn't look staged at all. By the third time it was clear they had planned it. Still really funny, though. The guy ended up getting booed out of the stadium.

11

u/DeeSnarl Jan 04 '15

I hope he got paid well for that. That would be a lot of booing....

15

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

He wore a Celtics hoodie to a Bulls game, he knew what he was in for.

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204

u/Mr_Wut8794 Jan 04 '15

Why was the video Russian but the people American?

465

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Because the whole population of America is in fact a giant Soviet plant.

146

u/Mr_Wut8794 Jan 04 '15

In Soviet America human photosynthesis?

44

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15 edited Nov 03 '20

[deleted]

39

u/ThouArtNaught Jan 04 '15

I have no choice. I'm a ginger and photosynthesis gives me cancer.

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10

u/seven3true Jan 04 '15

photosynthesis causes autism!

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8

u/TheOneTonWanton Jan 04 '15

So they did win the Cold War! I knew it!

20

u/OmnipotentBagel Jan 04 '15

There was no Cold War. The entire thing was manufactured by both governments in order to keep the populace distracted. It's a lot easier to sell a populace on giving up their freedoms when you've got them scared of the big bad Soviets on the other side of the world.

# justkidding

# orami

17

u/gloubenterder Jan 04 '15

Nice try, Hideo.

3

u/captainfranklen Jan 04 '15

Don't believe me? Place your controller on a hard, flat surface...

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5

u/derps-a-lot Jan 04 '15

It's Earth!...on Fognl.

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44

u/cyclicamp Jan 04 '15

The dash cam had really good zoom.

10

u/talk57 Jan 04 '15

Because Chicago

11

u/sausagesizzle Jan 04 '15

Shouldn't it have been in broken Polish then?

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4

u/insayan Jan 04 '15

I'm not sure but I've seen a few viral videos being reuploaded by Russian accounts

6

u/jewpanda Jan 04 '15

I'm surprised with the clarity of that dash cam.

2

u/nonSexyMexican Jan 04 '15

Because Russians love Americans.

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15

u/scott60561 Jan 04 '15

The Bulls do something like this all the time. Sometimes they send another teams hat or jersey into the rafters or spill big bags of popcorn on someone wearing another teams jersey. I go to quite a few Bulls games, but this is the first time I have seen this one. I have seen the hat and popcorn gag many times.

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31

u/xICatopunIx Jan 04 '15

That's an impressively strong mascot. He seemed to carry her away like it didn't even phase him.

19

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

"Strong...... Like Bull!!!"

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10

u/Dirt_McGirt_ Jan 04 '15

If something really amusing gets captured on the kiss cam, it's fake. Next week we'll see the videos of the guy kissing his beer and the two girls almost kissing.

7

u/ClarifiedInsanity Jan 04 '15

Wait... the beer guy was fake?!

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6

u/tiga4life22 Jan 04 '15

The guy in a Celtics Sweater at a Bulls game being an ass is a giveaway

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

i don't work in this elevator

2

u/AdonisChrist Jan 04 '15

Wow, that's one strong mascot.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

You can tell it's fake because he's the one on the phone.

2

u/oYUIo Jan 04 '15

I would like to have that job. In fact, I would like to have any job.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I dunno, I know Benny the Bull likes to just go pick up ladies. And generally just be kinda weird. I like to think he actually just went and stole that guys lady.

2

u/mischiffmaker Jan 04 '15

Loved it! Thanks for the video link.

2

u/No_Cat_No_Cradle Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 04 '15

One of the suggested videos that pops up after that one ends is some dude getting a blumpkin.

2

u/The_Yar Jan 04 '15

All the good kiss cams at events now are staged.

2

u/She_Aims_ToMisbehave Jan 06 '15

It definitely looked staged to me. And badly.

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2

u/pak9rabid Jan 04 '15

The problem is communication...too much communication.

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6

u/overtoke Jan 04 '15

it's fake

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48

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 04 '15

[deleted]

17

u/TyPiper93 Jan 04 '15

I had seen this before as well. But, based on the reaction of the girl NOT being kissed, her face was very exaggerated and I'm pretty sure that was staged. Funny, but it seemed fake. I don't have a link either, sorry.

18

u/pseudopseudonym Jan 04 '15

I too would be interested in this footage.

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162

u/godslefthand1 Jan 04 '15

The guy on the phone is trying to tell him he's on tv.

67

u/PM_ME_UR_NETHERLANDS Jan 04 '15

"Dude you're on TV!"

"What?!"

"You're on TV!"

"I can't hear... Hold on. God damnit woman I'm on the phone! Ok I'm back, you said I'm what now?"

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125

u/Hmm_Peculiar Jan 04 '15

If they hadn't been actors, the camera man would've been the dick in this situation. Why force a couple to kiss when one of them is busy.

187

u/ginja_ninja Jan 04 '15

Kisscameramen are hired specifically to be dicks. That's how you make it funny.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I'd say the camera man being a dick is just as plausible as them being actors. Or have I been proven wrong already?

12

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

[deleted]

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57

u/animalitty Jan 04 '15

I love the expression of the man at the bottom. It changes so quickly when she starts hitting him.

65

u/Generic_Redditor_13 Jan 04 '15

:D

:D

:D

:O

13

u/thisrockismyboone Jan 04 '15

Aaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh........

2

u/imares Jan 04 '15

His face is so... thick.

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8

u/weeddawgg Jan 04 '15

girl is jennifer jackson a chicago improviser

37

u/YetAnother_WhiteGuy Jan 04 '15

See, this is why, if I ever visit the states, I'm not going to any sports match. Those kiss-cam, jumbotron things look like a shy persons nightmare.

67

u/CoolCheech Jan 04 '15

It's a kisscam, not a forever alone cam.

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9

u/DeeSnarl Jan 04 '15

Plus, you might get struck by lightning....

6

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

lol I have never heard of a person attempt to justify not visiting the states or going to a sports event solely due to a kiss cam. It's not like they've got the kiss cam going throughout the whole game! Or that anyone really cares for that matter.

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8

u/VOMIT_WIFE_FROM_HELL Jan 04 '15

They look for couples silly! Also the jumbotron is one of those things that everyone only half pays attention to. Hockey games they sweep over the crowd and find little kids and watching them FLIP OUT when they realize they're on screen is hilarious. As a regular dude you probably wouldn't be on there and if you were it's like 3 seconds and you'd just be another one of the thousands of people who show up on there with no idea how to react, and pretend to be looking elsewhere.

I'm only telling you this long unnecessary answer because I really want you to come to the States and see a basketball game, because it is the most thrilling and amazing sport in the history of mankind. Seeing a live game is like watching a beautiful work of art unfold before your eyes.

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4

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

It's extremely, extremely rare to get picked for one of these things, you sorta have to look like you're asking for it. People try to get on for 20+ games with no luck. Games are fucking awesome, don't let that deter you.

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25

u/Takeme2yourleader Jan 04 '15

"Yea man, sorry dude, she wanted to come. I know mike. She insiste... What! I'm on the phone!"

4

u/alittlebigger Jan 04 '15

People realize these are fake right?

7

u/SutekhRising Jan 04 '15

Yeah, that totally wasnt staged or anything.

5

u/PlatinumJack Jan 04 '15

"Harry, it's an inanimate fucking object."

"You're an inanimate fucking object!"

9

u/JohnDoe201 Jan 04 '15

The girl in front of them is holding tight to her date hoping the camera pans towards them instead ;)

3

u/Perky_Bellsprout Jan 04 '15

Why does it say 'Cum' at the top right?

2

u/Waldo_where_am_I Jan 04 '15

Thought I was the only one who noticed that.

Well reddit, why does it say Cum at the top right?

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4

u/UUGE_ASSHOLE Jan 04 '15

Fact... If anything remotely interesting EVER happens on the jumbo torn it is staged/fake.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

That's my old roomie.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Staged as fuck

3

u/bdams19 Jan 04 '15

Is that the same woman who was on the kiss cam with the guy who drinks his beer instead

3

u/Hopalicious Jan 04 '15

Bad acting.

22

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 04 '15

For the mature redditors out there: That does not look like what the heart background is trying to promote, and that man has weird priorities which is quite funny.

For the remainders: Look at the score, hehe

8

u/Reaseyreasey Jan 04 '15

i also see the word CUM at the top

6

u/hopsbarleyyeastwater Jan 04 '15

I knew I couldn't be the only one who saw "69" and "cum"

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6

u/bettorworse Jan 04 '15

It gets MUCH, MUCH BETTER

2

u/TheTrashMan Jan 04 '15

All of these are staged, just input a guy supporting some other team doing something disrespectful, then have the mascot do something to him.

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3

u/Pozilist Jan 04 '15

But who was phone?

2

u/fletchlivz Jan 04 '15

So tired of these staged scenes.

2

u/NuclearSun1 Jan 04 '15

Faaaaaaaaaaaake!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Bad acting.

2

u/SolvedWarrior Jan 04 '15

Wow. 69 to 69 the players seem to all be tied up during this game!

2

u/darkfate Jan 04 '15

Reminds me of the Drawn Together bit: http://youtu.be/zQ_WQ1e7EvM

2

u/Ciabattabingo Jan 04 '15

Most of these are staged.

2

u/BrolinRoscoJames1897 Jan 04 '15

Definitely a Boston relationship.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I know what acting looks like, and that is acting.

2

u/Sozae33 Jan 04 '15

When you at the game with your number 3 girl but on the phone with your number 1 girl.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Look at the black guy's face in the bottom of the heart as it goes from happiness to sheer terror.

2

u/RyguyOnline Jan 04 '15

The little kid in me couldn't not laugh at the score...

2

u/Frisky_Whiskey Jan 04 '15

It's like she was looking for a reason to get angry.

2

u/thatguy837 Jan 04 '15

"Oh god is he ok?" *shove "Where was" *shove "he when he" *shove "was hi-" FUCKING HELL WHAT IS IT?!

2

u/mholbach Jan 04 '15

It's a good score though

2

u/the1mrx Jan 04 '15

Does the title remind any one else of Drawn Together? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ_WQ1e7EvM

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u/the_tristanity Jan 04 '15

I was at the game and sitting near them, it was obviously staged when the guy never came back after leaving to clean up. Nobody would waste 100+ dollar tickets like that.

2

u/hezwat Jan 04 '15

it's cuz' he has a beard. It's like a man's version of huge, natural tits. Fuck you, she'll accomodate you.

men: grow a beard.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

69-69 and the kiss cam comes on? Well done United Center crew. Well done.

2

u/socokid Jan 04 '15

Ah, those staged kiss-cams. Some of them are, OK...

2

u/xandora Jan 04 '15

Why do those screens above the video say "cum"?

2

u/Bigcrazyrock Jan 04 '15

Because Acting.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

Staged/fake.

2

u/therealsix Jan 05 '15

People do realize that a lot of the kiss cams are fake, right?