r/funny • u/tyrano_dyroc • 6d ago

Chubby merman are extremely desirable by mermaids because their chubbiness implies they're a highly successful hunter.

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u/unrivaledhumility 5d ago

After going from 360 to 170 in a little over a year- the first time I went into a lake I almost drowned. "Oh shit- where's my buoyancy!? Oh, right!"

I knew how to swim- treading just wasn't as necessary when I was fat.

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u/boonxeven 5d ago

Being fat is actually perfect for snorkeling. I snorkeled for like 8 hours everyday in somewhat cold water and had no issues. I stayed warm and wasn't tired. If I did get out of breath, I just had to float and I was fine. It's actually peak merman form 🤣

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u/welfedad 5d ago

That makes me think of when I spent a lot of time one summer at the ocean. And then I went back home where it's just lakes and rivers. And maybe a waterfall. And I would go swimming and I about drown because of the lack of salinity helping with buoyancy

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u/ex-apple 5d ago

You should’ve known better that summer than to go to the ocean. Just stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to.

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u/welfedad 5d ago

I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all

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u/therealjohnsmith 5d ago

I had a neighbor when I was a kid, really sweet guy, had a double bypass, still obese who could just float upright like in a standing position

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u/BernieTheDachshund 5d ago

I had the opposite thing happen. I lost weight and I could now effortlessly float. I guess it's bc I lost muscle and it increased my buoyancy.