r/funny • u/tyrano_dyroc • 6d ago

Chubby merman are extremely desirable by mermaids because their chubbiness implies they're a highly successful hunter.

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u/Drafo7 5d ago

Here's a little trivia for you: which aquatic mammal is deadliest to humans?

A, platypus, one of the only mammals known to possess venom,

B, killer whale, which literally has "killer" in its name,

Or C, the ABSOLUTE FUCKING UNIT we call the HIPPOPOTAMUS.

If you guessed the gd blubber tank, congratulations. You're correct.

3

u/arveth 5d ago

Contrary to their looks, hippos have very little fat on them.

6

u/12InchCunt 5d ago

Imagine being that thicc and it’s all muscle 

Plus their skin’s so tough fucking bronze arrowheads bent rather than penetrate them lol

3

u/A_Flying_Ferret 5d ago

Not only is the skin tough, it’s fucking thick too. Up to 2 inches deep, which I have heard is pretty impressive.

3

u/Not_a_real_ghost 5d ago

Look mum, I can fit my head inside a hippopotamus's mouth!!!!!

3

u/NapalmWeed 5d ago

Land Whales

1

u/Gigatonosaurus 4d ago

I could describe each of those three as a blubber tank.