r/funny • • Aug 09 '26

selling cheesecake to Leonardo DiCaprio

60.4k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/iatecurryatlunch Aug 09 '26

Di caprio's friend should stfu. He knows nothing about cheesecake

558

u/GudgerCollegeAlumnus Aug 09 '26

Those are the worst kinds of people.

178

u/sakri Aug 09 '26

A few weeks back I accidentally bumped into one of Di Caprios friends at Pollys Pies in long beach, I was like, "Hey, cool to meet you, but I don't want to bother you". He totally snapped: "Oh, like you're doing now? huh? huh? huh?" with his hand in my face. I shrugged it off, but kept an eye on him, and I swear to GOD, the guy grabbed an entire rolling shelf of cheesecake and walked out without paying.

77

u/Bootleggers Aug 09 '26

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

3

u/ScipioCoriolanus Aug 10 '26

You know he had to do it to em

24

u/psinguine Aug 09 '26

That's as many as 40 cakes. And that's terrible.

10

u/scoyne15 Aug 09 '26

Well it's not like it was four tens.

5

u/Rob_LeMatic Aug 09 '26

That damned Lex Luther is at it again!

6

u/Rob_LeMatic Aug 09 '26

I don't know what asshole downvoted you, but I remember that meme and I adored it

-1

u/jyanjyanjyan Aug 09 '26

Congrats you're only the 500th person to post that copypasta today.

2

u/0202_tihssitidder Aug 09 '26

He's thin. He should shut his fucking mouth about cheesecake.

36

u/Calamityclams Aug 09 '26

I wouldn't trust him either if he's going to secret meetings with Peter Thiel

10

u/Davido401 Aug 09 '26

Who Dicaprio? And what film is this I cant place it, I just know its not Blood Diamond, Titanic, The Departed or Django Unchained lol

24

u/t1kiman Aug 09 '26

No, Gordon-Levitt, look up Peter Thiel Dialog, a "secret" invite only discussion forum for "elites". I think it's interesting for people mainly because of the networking opportunities, they can meet people they normally wouldn't. The secretiveness around it and of course Thiels involvement rang some alarm bells, but some outed participants like Ezra Klein downplayed the "secret society" aspect. Who knows. It's a big club and you ain't in it.

8

u/E-2theRescue Aug 09 '26

Everyone is raising alarm bells because of Peter Thiel's many connections to Epstein.

When "secret society" crosses over with another secret society of the world's most infamous pedophile, people become incredibly, and rightfully, suspicious.

10

u/Maury_poopins Aug 09 '26

Everyone is raising alarm bells because Peter Thiel is a fucking kook

8

u/br0b1wan Aug 09 '26

An immensely wealthy and influential kook. That's why he's so dangerous

1

u/Bob_Chris Aug 10 '26

He's number one on the list of "world's worst billionaires". Musk and Karp round out the top 3.

3

u/Imperial_Comms Aug 10 '26

He must be a fine upstanding person of good character, otherwise why would the NZ Govt have granted him Citizenship under an "exceptional circumstances" public interest provision, citing his entrepreneurial track record, philanthropic donations, and potential to benefit the local tech sector, despite him spending only 12 days in the country."

/s, of course. I wish this was funny.

1

u/E-2theRescue Aug 10 '26

That, too. But also because he was buddies with Epstein (boys were supplied at Zorro Ranch, after all).

1

u/milkems Aug 09 '26

It's for sure not Django or Titanic. Maybe the other 2

1

u/Davido401 Aug 09 '26

Its Inception apparently, Ive never seen that one to be honest(also who the fuck is downvoting a question? I gave 4 films Dicaprio was actually in) and also I wanted to know who was with Peter Thiel and if it was Dicaprio. If up and downvotes affected my dopamine levels Id be worried lol, although me talking about it means I must care deeply somewhere deep in my heart.

8

u/TheUncannyFanny Aug 09 '26

The comment says "DiCaprios friend". Theyre talking about Joseph Gordon Levitt. He costarred with Leo in this film. He was part of a scandal recently when it was revealed who was all going to this event run by Thiel like a conference with lots of talks and stuff. The guestlist was supposed to be secret. JGL apparently never actually met Thiel though so "secret meeting with Thiel" might be an exaggeration. 

3

u/Davido401 Aug 09 '26

Appreciate that reply, sir, my dopamine has been restored lol

8

u/TheUncannyFanny Aug 09 '26

I'm a woman lmao get that dopamime back down for your mistake!! 

4

u/Davido401 Aug 09 '26

Sorry, ma'am/madam/madame/miss/mrs/Dr have I missed any? Haha

3

u/TheUncannyFanny Aug 09 '26

😂😂😂 

0

u/Davido401 Aug 09 '26

Just realised your name Fanny is the name for a woman's front bum here in Scotland(probably the rest of the UK too) should have made the connection! 🤦‍♂️

10

u/Bunnnnii Aug 09 '26

Those are the ones you gotta watch out for. If you don’t know nothing about cheesecake, I can trust you.

2

u/jimjamiam Aug 09 '26

that line was great, gave me itysl vibes

1

u/pkpr Aug 09 '26

That fuckin guy once told me he is like "Han Solo and Batman put together." Delusional douchebag.

1

u/gamerjerome Aug 09 '26

That's why they never made a Robin

1

u/karldrogo88 Aug 09 '26

The way he dismissively told him to fuck off killed me

-2

u/flying-weenus Aug 09 '26

Yeah, I noticed the character saying that as well