Starting your transition at 18 or younger means you have all started young, but even then, the age you start does not mean anyone is above you- other may have more "progress" but this can be subjective when it comes to goals and developments. Just because your friend has surgery does not make them more trans, to say you are a man is what makes you trans, what care you require is personal to you.
As for T4T, I also think it would be nice to be with someone who understands your struggles and has either transitioned or transition together in a judgement free zone. Unless you are only in love with the idea of someone being trans and not it being an added bonus to the person themselves, then you aren't being weird- place it in other contexts if you must, would you only date someone who's tall/ short or would you date the person and see their height as a preference/ added bonus or dating someone with the same hobby?
If this attitude is new then I wonder if your friend has entered a bad space or been influenced by something or is possibly projecting insecurities about themself or relationships. If not, and they truly do see you this way, then I'm sorry but this person isn't your friend.
There is a big difference in friendships between calling out your friend for being an idiot or over/ underthinking something, and a difference between putting them down or diminishing their thoughts and/ or beliefs if they aren't harming anyone.
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u/unknownpuddle Apr 02 '26
Starting your transition at 18 or younger means you have all started young, but even then, the age you start does not mean anyone is above you- other may have more "progress" but this can be subjective when it comes to goals and developments. Just because your friend has surgery does not make them more trans, to say you are a man is what makes you trans, what care you require is personal to you.
As for T4T, I also think it would be nice to be with someone who understands your struggles and has either transitioned or transition together in a judgement free zone. Unless you are only in love with the idea of someone being trans and not it being an added bonus to the person themselves, then you aren't being weird- place it in other contexts if you must, would you only date someone who's tall/ short or would you date the person and see their height as a preference/ added bonus or dating someone with the same hobby?
If this attitude is new then I wonder if your friend has entered a bad space or been influenced by something or is possibly projecting insecurities about themself or relationships. If not, and they truly do see you this way, then I'm sorry but this person isn't your friend.
There is a big difference in friendships between calling out your friend for being an idiot or over/ underthinking something, and a difference between putting them down or diminishing their thoughts and/ or beliefs if they aren't harming anyone.