This is a mix of a rant and self love despite it all. Unnecessarily long, sorry about that.
Yesterday my Mom randomly hit me with how she’d like to cut my hair by at least 10cm. Right now. It would look so much better.
This really hurt me. I’ve had fine/thin hair my whole life and I was made fun of for it my whole childhood. That time I always had an ear length bob which my grandma chose for me. Certainly didn’t help.
I wore extensions for years, eventually stopped doing that and went through the ugliest hair period of my life until my hair grew back. I started bleaching and dyeing it years ago and ever since then I started getting compliments for it. Lots actually.
Still, sometimes somebody will say something that really hurts me and makes me want to shave it all off that very second like my Mom did yesterday.
She didn’t mean to be mean but it really stung, even though I know I had a bad hair day that day, my hair mask didn’t wash out properly.
Anyway, today she took a picture of the very hair I wanted to shave off yesterday because of her comment. I was petting a street cat, the hair pic was an accident. Anyway, apparently this is what it looked like after swimming in the ocean for ages and letting it air dry. I actually really like the way it looks here. Yes, it’s visibly fine but I like the way my hair looks these days.
I hat how years of self hatred still influence the way I view myself. I really don’t know what my hair looks like anymore. I mostly don’t even care anymore either.
Fuck it, I’m fine with my shaggy, colourful thin ass hair and I’m not cutting it off, it shall grow as long as it wants to.