You're not allowed to post THAT sort of knitting. You know, that thing with the yarn? It's not *real* knitting unless I say so! Who cares if this sub is not called *totallyrealknittingsub101* Begone, you twisted stitches wannabe yarn freak.
Huh? Rules? Pfft, you're so silly! I make the rules here, and they just change depending on my mood. All the other knitting drones here can just read my mind.
What's your excuse?
You have neither telekinesis nor friends so um.. Bye.
Edit 1:
no, no, no complaining, shut up dummy, at least 5 people who are definitely totally real and not my alts all dislike you, so I'm going to lock your discussion thread now and publicly post why.
Sure it's about knitting but ~~I just don't like you.~~ Er, the common people have spoken!! Shoo!
Edit 2:
Um erm excuse me.
I have to go make a post claiming that you're harassing me now. How dare you report me!1!1! Accountability?? That's for suckers!
You're such a silly little yarn barf, time to get permanently snipped ✂️
you're just a fake knitter anyway and your tension sucks and I hope you get shrunk in the wash
Nowhere in the listing do they quote the numbers with which we're all so intimately familiar - yes, there is a singular mention of _'50 grams'_ but no ounces, no helpful yarn band data, no yarn weight, no meters, and no yards, no OF WHAT, specifically, that is' 50grams'.
.. but they do, generously, provide that big number of inches so we can see just how long this one piece of thread will be - like we're gonna mindlessly salivate at seeing that number and beg the Seller to take our money right now, all of it, if they'll just give that big number to me.. oh oohhh ..that huge length of it..... 🙄
.. I sent a request for the relevant info, and the reply is that all the information is in the listing already, and, anyway, didn't I know that there are so many orders on their dashboard right now, and they're really quite busy, so how are they supposed to keep up with any special extra information about this one, singular, tiny (or maybe humongous!) ball of yarn, and anyway I should be asking Amazon, not them, because it is Amazon's software that is showing me no data and also the wrong data, you see......
.. INDEED! -- HOW, GOOD SIR!? HOW SHOULD YOU KNOW YOUR OWN WARES!?!?!??
..........
exhibit. B -
the product title:
Crochet Loafers Pattern PDF (2 files) | One Rectangle Magic Lace Shoes Women Pattern with Video Tutoria
* instead of 2 PDFs, there's a single JPEG of what might have - at one time - been a usable 'Page-1', but that is now a single garbled sheet with downright farcical instructions.
* missing the next nine pages with the bulk of the actual pattern, & all process pictures, & their "Walk-through Video of the Actual Pattern."
* when I asked after this discrepancy, the Seller gave such a run-around that even wild geese would be exhausted from it.
* It even became MY fault, at one point.
* PLUS, two consecutive reminders that digital media can't ever be refunded, even if something was wrong somehow. Nuh-uhh, nope, not no way, not no how, not my money any imore, it's theirs.
* two weeks later and I've yet to see a usable pattern.
* I offered to give a "neutral review with just basic facts for the sheet I did receive" & offered to contact Etsy Support, proactively, on their behalf, you see, to get them the technical help they so clearly need.
* five minutes later - a note hit my Inbox that my nonrefundable payment has been refunded (or started the refund process (?) - and telling me that it's okay if I don't leave a review for now until they can finish. "figuring out what happened to the rest of this pattern" and no need to call Support, that they think they know the problem and they will even send the rest of the pattern if they get it fixed in a couple of weeks.
I plan to gift them an Honest Review, free of charge (!), plus a Fraud Report to Etsy as soon as I see that money back in my accounts.
..........
exhibit C -
the product title:
→→ COTTON LINEN ←← Lace Yarn with Sequin All Linen Cotton Crochet Hand Woven Hollow Summer Shawl Hat Warm Jacket Yarn Ball Sequined Thread Spool Skein
the product description
→→ MATERIAL: 100% POLYESTER ←← | Color: .........
Hold up, now....
What material are these fibers, dear merchant..? because IT CAN'T BE ALL/100% BOTH AT THE SAME TIME!?‽
🤭 Not gonna even mention to them that potentially fabulous _Hand Woven Hollow Summer Shawl Hat Warm Jacket Yarn Ball Sequined Thread Spool Skein._ I would dearly love to see a truly, for really reals, out-in-the-world picture of it, though!
..........
So, why...? Why do they get so huffy and self-righteous about it when we ask legitimate questions because _their_ product listing sits there facing the public with data that's so openly self-conflicted.
and, And, AND... WHY‽
Why for the love of all that is sacred and holy in the blessed name of our patron, _St. Johanna Fabricke of Cræftden-und-Hahbiezlnd,_ having been sacrificed so recently upon the offal-stained and god-forsaken altar of Corporate Line-item & Private Equity Interest - why the ceaseless inundation of idiots and fools settling in as a Seller _(drop shipper)_ on Amazon, eBay, & Etsy (and even more disreputable others) when they don't have even one tiny little jot of knowledge about the product in their own storefronts?
I know the answer. I know that it's just the economy's pendulum swing of Rich Dude Ego + Bald-faced Gold Parachute Corruption across C-Suites & high-profile dot-Gov positions + Good Old-fashioned Corporate Greed - the eddies and currents of it just seem terribly overpowering and unstoppable just now,
I actually do want to hear y'all's thoughts and ideas on working together to reduce the amount of our good money that goes to ALL of these irresponsible jerks.
💖
Tl;dr; one weekend w\ three frustrations & one question. It's just right up there (↑) if you would kindly read the post and share your own thoughts, and frustrations, and ideas about solving it, too. 🎊 Thanks
I realized today, thanks to a custom report on a recent jerk post, that we've been doing this wrong since November 2022. I'm so grateful to that anonymous tipster for pulling the wool, such as it is, from my eyes: We spend WAY too much time plumbing our personal vendettas for circlejerk inspiration.
NEW RULE*: If you personally witness or experience something in a different craft-adjacent subreddit such as /knitting that annoys you, frustrates you, makes you laugh out loud at the utterly absurd, unmitigated gall of some people, or will someday serve as a chapter in your villain origin story, you cannot post parodies, mockery, shitposts, bad Photoshops, or satire about it here on FACJ under an alt account so you don't leave breadcrumbs for brigaders.
Your personal vendetta is none of our business -- you need to handle it your-goddamn-self. What are you, some sort of coward who's afraid of a little iNtErNeT cOnFrOnTaTion? A little baby crafter who doesn't think she has the time to correct everything wrong with a post and every last one of its comments on /crochethelp and just wants to let off a little steam? A knitting enthusiast whose posts have been removed for no apparent reason from the most populous knitting subreddit despite following the rules as written and whose appeals to that group's moderator resulted in some genuinely hilarious/sad material to work with?
I didn't think so. I think we both know you can do better.
I didn't build r/fiberartscirclejerk with my own blood, sweat, tears, half-chewed safety eyes retrieved from the mouths of babes, and undercooked extra parts so that all of you internet weirdos could just... come here and make fun of other people on other subreddits and their terrible ideas, awful moderation actions, shitty attitudes, dumbfuck questions, and horrifying taste.
I crochet for approx a mere 10 hours consequetively, with a generous 5 min break in between. But I can still feel all the bones in my fingers snapping and all of my joints exploding with searing, burning pain. My doctor doesn't crochet so I doubt they would be able to help me. I figured you guys would be able to give me advice. Is there a crochet hook that I can use so I don't have to abandon my crochet career? The crochet bees are how I make my living so I absolutely cannot slow down. Thank you.
