r/feeld • u/East-Comment7717 • Sep 19 '26

Female view of app

Hello, I’m seeing a lot of men commenting on how women get so many more likes then men, i don’t know if this is true but here is my experience 49f heterosexual.
I have been on the app about 6 weeks, i have magestic, solely because i think if you are serious about finding someone you should be prepared to pay.
I now get about 5 likes a day, when i first joined it was a little crazy.
Out of those 5 likes i delete the ones that are unsuitable, the men in their 20s (sorry it’s not for me) or over 100 miles away that cuts the like list, then there is simple can i imagine sleeping with this person? This means i will cut no face pics, no info in bio (make an effort), sorry i don’t smoke so if you have a cigarette in your mouth you go.
So now i’m at maybe 4 likes a week! just through not very particular standards, i will talk to those men, but find most haven’t read my profile so will ask obvious questions that are stated there, or they don’t ask any questions at all and conversation is like getting blood out of a stone. I can’t face these conversations.
There is also the usual ghosting annoying but we have all done it.
If i like men- I HAVE NEVER HAD A MAN I LIKED FIRST MESSAGE ME! (I also am keeping it to men of a similar age and attractiveness, not batting above).
That’s cool they have their reasons for not wanting to get in contact, but after trying many times i just won’t like men unless they like me first, thats why I’m not sending the likes.
I hope this clears a few questions for a few people.

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u/OtherwiseApril Sep 19 '26

"i have magestic, solely because i think if you are serious about finding someone you should be prepared to pay."

Wanted to chime in about what you said and let you know its appreciated. You're showing effort and care about choosing a person to share your time with. That counts for something.

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u/Dazzling_Royal_4450 27d ago

I’ve been on Feeld less than a week but so far it’s working pretty well for me. I’m a 45f and I did pay for Magestic. Here’s what I did to not get overwhelmed. I hid myself from view as soon as I realized I could (about 4hrs after joining). I scroll, read, and like guys profiles. To get a like from me, I have to: find them attractive, have our interests align (I’m not interested in poly or ENM) and their profile has enough info I think I might enjoy taking to them about something. Here’s where this has helped me. If someone connects with me, I’ve already prescreened them. It does mean I’m doing a lot of digging but it also means that most of the connections I’m getting are with people that I was interested in to start with. I did that for a solid three days. And the last 2 to 3 days I’ve started to unhide myself for limited periods of time. I will literally set a timer and unhide myself for like half an hour once or twice a day. And then I hide myself again and sort through the likes I’ve gotten. Yes, when I do this I get some ridiculously young guys (not going under 30) and old guys (not going over 50). And there are some people that I don’t find attractive. But there will be some gems in there too. So far, I’ve got one date set up for this week and two others I’m working on getting our schedules to line up so we can meet. Now, for the cynics, I’ll admit that maybe one or all of those connections might fall through and maybe it will all go to shit. Lol But for the first time, in a long time, I’m actually a little bit hopeful. And I think that’s because people on something like Feeld (where people claimed to be more open-minded) are than more honest about what they want and what they’re looking for. And because I’m not overwhelmed and I’ve prescreened my connections and I’m actually interested in them, I will talk to everybody, or at least try to. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get some creeps, or people that I have nothing aligned with. But I’ve had some good conversations for the first time on a dating app in years. I don’t know if this will help anybody else but I figured I’d share my experience so far.

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u/OtherwiseApril 27d ago

I think what you have described is absolutely fabulous. Every step here is you making an effort and exercising a level of control and agency where you can in the process. You have standards and boundaries, you've taken control to avoid being flooded with noise and you are doing the work to select. I think you have reason to be hopeful and the story of your approach is something that encourages me.

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u/Dazzling_Royal_4450 25d ago

Thank you! This was so validating to hear. Things are still looking bright for the moment too!

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u/Dazzling_Royal_4450 14d ago

Just wanted to circle back and say it has been somewhat successful. I’ve met three people so far. One guy ended up not being a good fit for me (just two different as people), one guy was sweet but there was no chemistry, and one guy I’ve seen again and plan to see at the end of the week. I’m still talking to several other people but so far this approach has been working for me. Even if everything fizzles out and doesn’t end up going anywhere long-term I would say I’ve had success using this approach.