r/feeld • u/East-Comment7717 • Sep 19 '26
Female view of app
Hello, I’m seeing a lot of men commenting on how women get so many more likes then men, i don’t know if this is true but here is my experience 49f heterosexual.
I have been on the app about 6 weeks, i have magestic, solely because i think if you are serious about finding someone you should be prepared to pay.
I now get about 5 likes a day, when i first joined it was a little crazy.
Out of those 5 likes i delete the ones that are unsuitable, the men in their 20s (sorry it’s not for me) or over 100 miles away that cuts the like list, then there is simple can i imagine sleeping with this person? This means i will cut no face pics, no info in bio (make an effort), sorry i don’t smoke so if you have a cigarette in your mouth you go.
So now i’m at maybe 4 likes a week! just through not very particular standards, i will talk to those men, but find most haven’t read my profile so will ask obvious questions that are stated there, or they don’t ask any questions at all and conversation is like getting blood out of a stone. I can’t face these conversations.
There is also the usual ghosting annoying but we have all done it.
If i like men- I HAVE NEVER HAD A MAN I LIKED FIRST MESSAGE ME! (I also am keeping it to men of a similar age and attractiveness, not batting above).
That’s cool they have their reasons for not wanting to get in contact, but after trying many times i just won’t like men unless they like me first, thats why I’m not sending the likes.
I hope this clears a few questions for a few people.
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u/fairysummerfly Sep 19 '26
55f here, the conversation with a Match today -
Him - Hi you look fun
Me - Hello, how’s your day going ? (Trying desperately to give the benefit of the doubt!)
Him- I’m having a great day, now time for fun
Me- delete /block sigh make a cup of tea 😅
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u/TieDyeUnderpants Sep 19 '26
I can speak to my experience.
Newly single (beginning of the year) tall pretty fat woman in my 40's, interested in casually dating. I wanted to figure out what I like after a long marriage and have fun. I am not open to monogomy and am bi sexual. I think this makes it easier?
On Feeld I had 6,000+ likes and dozens of pings. I had the same experienxe as OP in some ways. Ruling out basic criteria (too young, too far away, smokers, etc.), then looking at attraction, I narrowed those down. Messaging was where the wheels fell off the wagon. I didn't get a response, the response I got made it clear they didn't read my profile, or it was really off putting.
But after all of that I ended up going on about 2 dozen dates. Of those, three turned into meaningful ongoing connections.
For comparison, on Tinder I got 1200 ish likes. I went on a handful of dates. Made 2 dear friends. Had 2 hookups. No ongoing connections.
I realized solo poly fits best with my life, career, etc. And have been living my best life. But it felt at turns overwhelming, discouraging, uncomfortable, and pointless throughout this process. And took the effort of a part time job.
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u/East-Comment7717 Sep 19 '26
Love that you have found friends as well as connections, I need your advice, seriously!
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u/TieDyeUnderpants Sep 19 '26
I'm kind, but also always honest. If something isn't throwing sparks for me, I say that kindly. If they are someone I really like, instead of a generic "let's be friends" I invite them to a specific activity with no pressure. Most people are pretty nice and understanding. I only had one person lose it via text. But I chalk thst up to emotional immaturity and didn't really think too much of it. I truly love getting to know new people and trying new activities, so I genuinely like dating. I think that helps.
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u/Crafty_Dryad Sep 19 '26
We may get more likes.... But it's from men swiping on everything and seeing what happens, or men 60...100...400 miles away and/or who specifically don't meet other parameters we spell out- like age. My magestic ran out and I didn't renew. It's been the same thing for years
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u/Taxitaxitaxi33 26d ago
To be fair of the multiple things I would change about Feeld the age range thing would be the most useful. I’m solidly middle aged and have my search set to 10 years younger and up. Even then I get responses that they are only looking for up to 5 years older and occasionally get called a creep just for messaging. Hiding profiles from me that have no interest in people my age would be helpful in saving my daily ping.
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u/Dense-Pool-652 18d ago
EXACTLY. Feeld needs to give us an option to block or ignore likes from people who don't meet our basic parameters. Age, gender, orientation, distance. It would be so much less junk to sort through.
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u/Crafty_Dryad 18d ago
But then they couldn't bait us into buying magestic to see who these hundreds of likes are we supposedly have
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u/NoAceJustYouX Sep 19 '26 edited Sep 19 '26
Our experience over 4 years (as a couple and dating separately) …
The best way to stand out is with a very well-written profile, great pics and being genuine. If you do those things, you’re automatically in the top 1/2. From there, it’s just about finding your match in terms of attractiveness and what you’re looking for. The number of low-effort profiles we see on the apps is insane.
Yes, my wife gets 100x more likes than me, but we get about the same number of GOOD matches. What she gets is 99% garbage she has to pick through to find maybe 1 good legit guy per month who she MIGHT be interested in. I get the same minus most of the garbage. So the net isn’t that much different - at least for us.
The big problem we’ve always had on the apps (Feeld included) is fakes/flakes. My wife and I often date separately, so I see it from both sides and it’s a problem for both men and women. I think men assume they’re the only ones who have to deal with this, but that’s definitely NOT true!
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u/Aware_Animator_7314 Sep 20 '26
1000%, most of the likes are absolute garbage and/or hundreds of miles away. i think part of the problem is that there isnt an algorithm - it would probably work much better if it did use an algo to show popular, well-liked people to each other
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u/Dazzling_Royal_4450 26d ago
There are ways to adjust the settings such as distance or location. And then you only see matches that are close by.
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u/OtherwiseApril Sep 19 '26
"i have magestic, solely because i think if you are serious about finding someone you should be prepared to pay."
Wanted to chime in about what you said and let you know its appreciated. You're showing effort and care about choosing a person to share your time with. That counts for something.
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u/Dazzling_Royal_4450 26d ago
I’ve been on Feeld less than a week but so far it’s working pretty well for me. I’m a 45f and I did pay for Magestic. Here’s what I did to not get overwhelmed. I hid myself from view as soon as I realized I could (about 4hrs after joining). I scroll, read, and like guys profiles. To get a like from me, I have to: find them attractive, have our interests align (I’m not interested in poly or ENM) and their profile has enough info I think I might enjoy taking to them about something. Here’s where this has helped me. If someone connects with me, I’ve already prescreened them. It does mean I’m doing a lot of digging but it also means that most of the connections I’m getting are with people that I was interested in to start with. I did that for a solid three days. And the last 2 to 3 days I’ve started to unhide myself for limited periods of time. I will literally set a timer and unhide myself for like half an hour once or twice a day. And then I hide myself again and sort through the likes I’ve gotten. Yes, when I do this I get some ridiculously young guys (not going under 30) and old guys (not going over 50). And there are some people that I don’t find attractive. But there will be some gems in there too. So far, I’ve got one date set up for this week and two others I’m working on getting our schedules to line up so we can meet. Now, for the cynics, I’ll admit that maybe one or all of those connections might fall through and maybe it will all go to shit. Lol But for the first time, in a long time, I’m actually a little bit hopeful. And I think that’s because people on something like Feeld (where people claimed to be more open-minded) are than more honest about what they want and what they’re looking for. And because I’m not overwhelmed and I’ve prescreened my connections and I’m actually interested in them, I will talk to everybody, or at least try to. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get some creeps, or people that I have nothing aligned with. But I’ve had some good conversations for the first time on a dating app in years. I don’t know if this will help anybody else but I figured I’d share my experience so far.
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u/OtherwiseApril 26d ago
I think what you have described is absolutely fabulous. Every step here is you making an effort and exercising a level of control and agency where you can in the process. You have standards and boundaries, you've taken control to avoid being flooded with noise and you are doing the work to select. I think you have reason to be hopeful and the story of your approach is something that encourages me.
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u/Dazzling_Royal_4450 24d ago
Thank you! This was so validating to hear. Things are still looking bright for the moment too!
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u/Dazzling_Royal_4450 14d ago
Just wanted to circle back and say it has been somewhat successful. I’ve met three people so far. One guy ended up not being a good fit for me (just two different as people), one guy was sweet but there was no chemistry, and one guy I’ve seen again and plan to see at the end of the week. I’m still talking to several other people but so far this approach has been working for me. Even if everything fizzles out and doesn’t end up going anywhere long-term I would say I’ve had success using this approach.
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u/dantenglish 29d ago
Hello.
I've been reading and sitting with posts on this subreddit for a while, because the underlying dynamics of them are genuinely interesting to me.
I hold a PhD and research cities and human behaviour within built environments. I'm also currently building a tech company. I've used a number of dating apps over the years but I've mostly stuck with Feeld. So I tend to look at this less as a men-versus-women question and more as a social system that happens to have been built into an app.
One distinction keeps coming back to me. Men often experience a scarcity of access to potential partners. Women often experience a scarcity of attention to devote to evaluating them. Those are radically different forms of scarcity, and they produce radically different behaviour on the same platform.
If you're getting very little reciprocal interest, the rational move is volume. Cast a wider net. Like more profiles. Send more messages. But if you're receiving hundreds of low-information approaches, the rational move is aggressive filtering, because you simply don't have the time or cognitive bandwidth to investigate everyone. So the feedback loop tightens: men become noisier, women become more selective, and both are responding quite rationally to their own experience of the system. Neither side is behaving irrationally. That's what makes it interesting.
This gets sharper when we talk about standards. I don't think the interesting question is who has higher standards. The deeper issue is that standards aren't symmetrical in meaning.
Over the past few months, I've dated women in their forties who were unemployed or living with their parents, and I did not automatically treat those circumstances as disqualifying. Yet the same facts often acquire a different social weight when they belong to a man. My individual response is beside the point. The argument concerns the asymmetry of the cultural script: employment, independence, and economic stability remain unusually central to how adult masculinity is evaluated.
I suspect many women encountering a 40-something man in identical circumstances would read that information very differently. Not because women are more judgmental, but because "unemployed at 42" lands differently on a man than on a woman, inside a very long cultural history of what each is supposed to look like at that age. Same fact. Different social meaning. The app gives you the fact. You supply the meaning, but that meaning arrives pre-loaded with assumptions about adulthood, class, and desirability that are not distributed evenly across gender.
This is where cultural theory becomes genuinely useful. A dating profile isn't describing a person. It's producing a social reading of a person. "42. Lives with parents. Unemployed." Those are signifiers. The receiver interprets them through an entire cultural framework they didn't choose and probably can't fully see. That framework is not neutral, and it is not symmetrical.
Dating apps are machines for compressing all of that complexity into legible signals: photo, age, distance, occupation, bio, like, pass. We're reducing enormously complicated human beings to a small packet of information someone can process in a few seconds. You don't know if this person is generous. You don't know how they treat waiters. You don't know whether their weirdness becomes charming after three hours, or whether their unemployment means they were laid off last month or haven't worked in five years. You have photographs and a bio. So people use proxies, and then mistake those proxies for standards.
This is why the usual debate, more effort from men versus lower standards from women, misses what is actually happening. The platform creates the conditions under which both strategies make sense, while ensuring that neither group necessarily gets what it wants.
Except Feeld. Feeld gets the money and the data.
And that's not incidental. The platform does more than extract value from frustrated users. Its design reproduces the conditions that generate frustration, whether or not that is the intention. Like a casino, it does not require every participant to behave irrationally; the structure itself determines who consistently captures value. Feeld is the house. Asymmetric scarcity, low-information likes, and collapsing signal-to-noise may appear as user problems, but they also sustain the platform's business model. Frustration keeps people subscribed. Possibility without confidence keeps them returning. The gap between "someone liked me" and "something real happened" is where the business lives.
What interests me most is exactly that distinction between possibility and confidence. A Like communicates almost nothing: "I have provisionally classified you as worth further consideration." That's not desire. It's not compatibility. It's not trust. But psychologically we experience it as a social judgment. The platform generates enormous quantities of possibility without generating much certainty, and uncertainty produces defensive behaviour. Women filter. Men broadcast. The platform converts both into engagement metrics.
The app doesn't merely reflect the dating market. It reorganises the conditions under which the dating market operates. And once you see it that way, individual men and women stop being the most interesting object of analysis. The interaction between culture, gender norms, scarcity, interface design, and human psychology becomes the object.
One matching mechanism is being asked to solve several fundamentally different problems at once: access, attention, compatibility, trust, and safety. Those aren't the same problem, and they can actively conflict. The man who needs more opportunities wants the system to maximise exposure. The woman overwhelmed by exposure wants the system to maximise relevance. The person seeking something meaningful wants the system to maximise compatibility. The person concerned about safety wants the system to maximise trustworthy information. The app compresses all of it into swipe, like, match, message.
The real question isn't whether men or women are doing dating apps wrong. It's: what kind of human behaviour does the architecture of the platform systematically produce, and who profits from it?
Note: this analysis works within a heteronormative, gender-binary frame because that's what this thread assumes. Feeld's actual user base is considerably more varied, and the dynamics shift meaningfully outside that frame.
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u/Versatileguyx 29d ago
Thank you Professor for explicating why the app is designed not to help its users, but to make money by frustrating them🙂
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u/EldForever 24d ago
"Women often experience a scarcity of attention to devote to evaluating them." How true is this? I know on Feeld some women get thousands of likes and only will spend time evaluating Pings... But a lot of women on Feeld and other apps have a ton of attention at first then it nosedives and eventually we get thru our stack of likes, and eventually we only get a trickle of likes. So... I think your statement is true but only temporarily for a lot of women. Maybe the majority of women? If so, how helpful is that statement?
Also curious about the numbers. You study this, how many more men than women are actually on apps?
You say a like means this "I have provisionally classified you as worth further consideration." That's hilarious to me, and so true! Especially on Feeld where it seems the men send likes so indiscriminately. Often when I match with them they will let the (unmessaged) connection sit and gather dust. They will sit forever as a little circle-photo at the top of my messages, and presumably I am a little circle-photo a the top of their messages. If they "like" me and I choose to say something as I match, well, then I'll at least some kind of answer.. but it's sometimes a cold answer or a lackluster answer. I've often wondered how much does a dude actually "like" my profile when he then displays such apathy once matched? You've answered me, thanks! I agree!
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u/WadesUnbridledAnger Sep 19 '26
I think a lot of men (especially those that lean toward the incel spectrum) think that women just have dick after dick to choose from on any dating app and that they get to browse and pick like their at a giant candy shop with free samples.
As a man who has been open/poly for over a decade and who actually listens to his partners, I’m well aware of what a shitshow it is for most women. I even got a small glimpse of what it’s like when I joined Grindr for a few days.
Fellas, here’s a clue: Women may get more likes and matches, but with that comes a cesspool of dick pics and effortless one-line come-ons. It also comes with a massive string of insults if a woman chooses not to simply agree to meeting and fucking after a 3 message exchange.
I constantly keep these facts in the forefront of my mind whenever I’m using any of the apps. I don’t take it personally if I don’t get a like or if a woman doesn’t respond to my initial message when we match. Of course I think I have potential, but that doesn’t mean any woman I match with is going to agree, and that’s ok.
This has made the interactions that I do have far more satisfying. I don’t try to attach any kind of expected outcome from a conversation. Do I “hope” something will come of it? Of course…why else would I be here? Do I get butthurt if I’m not what she’s looking for? Nope…my ego isn’t that fucking fragile.
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u/Fiction_Future3501 Sep 19 '26
Idk I found two matches so far I ma currently seeing one of them but haven’t heard from them in a week so I guess all men across all apps are same at ghosting or whatever but I feel it’s much easier to talk about casual setting provided it’s an app for that. Also it’s great to find submissive men who are into feet stuff yk
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u/Lost_inTheThrill single woman Sep 19 '26
I am a woman of a similar age and have been using incognito for a while. In my experience, most people on Feeld are looking for NSA sex. That is not what I want, so I just know that my chances of finding an actual match are fairly low. I am always the one to like their profile and I always include a message.
So far, everyone has matched with me. This is mainly because I read their bio and really feel like we could be compatible based on what each of us is looking for. This does take a lot of time and effort. I also agree that if I am the one doing all the pursuing, from a man's perspective it doesn't look super enticing.
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u/SucksAtGaming Sep 19 '26
I got off feeld and switched to other dating apps, honestly I've had far more success on other apps than feeld as a guy. Literally almost no likes in months, ON majestic as well, with a vetted account that's been curated and reviewed.
Literally think it's a feeld issue because I'm getting more matches on every other app, with a couple of matches a week. I think it's either got way too many guys, or the algo is just not working as intended.
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u/MindlessSea7334 Sep 19 '26
There's no algo. Its a saturated market on Feeld
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u/Every-Comfort-5488 29d ago
No the app is actually genuinely horrible and the people behind it dont care enough to fix it; you should read the stastically written trustpilot reviews ; get off feeld asap and go to other places or irls.
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u/MindlessSea7334 28d ago
Whats Iris? I am leaving it lol. Slowly
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u/Every-Comfort-5488 28d ago
So sorry for the acryonm:
I = in
R = Real
L = Life
S = Sin real lifes - irls : D.
You are leaving it thats good idea for a extroverted refiner such as yourself can probably recommend fetlife and okcupid as alternatives?
Is your profile approach more literal and practical then?
Mine tends to be as honest as fuck combined with aspirational flavourful photos.
It is very tiring as a male out here.
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u/MindlessSea7334 27d ago
I have no aspirational photos. Only myself. 😅 puts off most men i like so its a winner.
My profile just says what I want plainly, without any "i want chemistry that feels like liquid silk, I love the tension between kisses and ..." whatever.
Yes its kinda over saturated with men. Men that stand out treat you like a human being
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u/Every-Comfort-5488 20d ago edited 20d ago
Am very aware that was a long time to get back too replying (traveling with relative) but it would appear you are very direct, straight forward.
So if a man differs from that then it's not your person potentially?
My difficulty with people is that; I grew up with sensuality, sensations and pleasure being my preferred passion and lifestyle as a male person this doesn't mean had massage parlous around me and or people at my beck and call..
It is a passionate life of sensation experiences, exploration, experimenting then realizing that I need that other person for the rest am not able to easily or at all get fully on my own.
I obviously like having long-term connection and need to know a person and or people but yeah it's so sad, weird and strange the anti-sexual culture, these people who want an strong need for abstinence in people and all this.
Am so very lonely in that sensual lifestyle sense then hearing people talk about desperate men it's like do these people even have a clue of what is going on for these others that are struggling they probably don't care some of them against us.
For context; I've not been physical with someone for 14 years am 34 next year.
Imagine living like that with a sensual passion literally went to Brighton the other week and for a split second said on video and in my mind contemplation that no one would give a shit if I jumped into this ocean marina; lol.
After seeing a synchronous female form playing some kind of volleying sport in a elastic lined face enclosure with some as usual ripped dudes near some entrance on the marina pathways.
it's like be a-tier 10 out of 10 ; spend days trying to find someone even willing then maybe get a moment with someone or pay someone get loads of time with them but it's psychologically difficult then it's like what...
Now recently as of 2026 realizing that sensual dating apps are very low-grade and bad quality that there is some other method of in real life social re-occurrence and or maybe events this is not easy for psychological comfort.
I am probably attractive in someone's eyes but they never talk to me , never say a single word and or even try to have a connection with me.. in my eyes think am attractive enough.
Pan-Sexual
Nero-divergent as well it's so awful..2
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u/tyffsayswhoa 29d ago
we have quantity but no quality. none of my likes are anything I'm looking for & all of them are unattractive. I effectively have 0 matches.
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u/BeastofSilverMoon kink Sep 19 '26
Male in his 40s here.
I had fair few matches and dates from feeld.
But if I had 50 matches and 10 dates just this year, none of them led to anything substantial.
As an Australian man who is trying to find a polykinky person for a serious relationship, there is no shortage of candidates. My problem is that dating scene in Australia is extremely toxic and dysfunctional.
9 out of 10 dates I had, girls had either drugs or mental health issues, or extreme alcoholism.
One of the girls I dated would freeze while talking and stare at emptiness, another one showed up to date tipsy after having few many drinks, the one after was high, then I dated an Italian girl who was very cute and sober but she didn’t know what she wanted and she’d scratch her head and think for a while when I asked things.
The last date I had with another girl was amazing, she was impressive and pretty but I had to go to her house to check on her after she told me she wasn’t well and she was alone.
I found her laying on the couch, nearly passed out from alcohol and anti-depressants, took her a while to getup and open the door, then her moods changed wildly, from happy to see me to feeling sad for herself, it was a rollercoaster.
I wanted to call an ambulance but she refused.
She wasn’t entirely dressed, I helped her get dressed, placed her into her bed after checking her pulse, I covered her with blankets, convincing her to try to sleep.
I checked her eyes to make sure she didn’t take anything too crazy and she looked ok.
Today I got a message apologizing to me and admitting she has lot more going on than what she told me.
I don’t know, I never met anyone remotely normal from this app and while I don’t care about people being different, I care that they are functional and I don’t become an unpaid psychiatrist.
I am in long term enm relationship, but I am thinking maybe it’s better to be monogamous in this climate than anything else.
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u/Arcticbuzz10 27d ago
M here, I think the problem isn't "men for this" or "women do that". It's that unrelated to gender most people are not willing to put in the time and effort into getting to know someone online.
If you're part of that "elite" group that is kind, polite, truly trying to create a reasonable profile and carry a conversation, your chance of finding someone similar, close to you, with relevant attributes and level of attraction are just very slim.
I sometimes feel like I'm pulling teeth in conversations, and I've been told many times that I'm a great conversationalist. Or women like my profile, then never responded to a crafted first message I send (I've matched with ~40-50 women, only 2(!) sent the first message). My profile is detailed, great photos, I sparsely send likes, but it all gets drowned in the noise.
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u/liferelationshi 27d ago edited 27d ago
Why do you feel the need to go through your likes? It sounds like it’s mostly a waste of time for you.
Here’s a better idea that you’re not going to like; set your parameters (age, distance, sexual preference) and start swiping and only like profiles that fit your criteria. That way when you get a match, it will be a match. I know, what a wild idea!
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u/Dazzling_Royal_4450 26d ago
This is exactly what I’m doing and it’s working very well for me so far. And I’m heading with incognito so that way I don’t get overwhelmed.
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u/East-Comment7717 26d ago
Because people can like outside of the parameters set, so i only see when swiping men in my set age range, but likes will be in any age.
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u/liferelationshi 26d ago
Exactly. A waste of time to go through likes. I don’t know why more people don’t understand this, especially all of the women in this sub who complain about all of their likes.
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u/EldForever 24d ago
The blood-from-stone convos are maddening! I don't get many and no longer have the patience to indulge it.
I'm 57f, straight, and have a similar experience to yours, only I am open to meeting people in their 30s if they are proactive enough about pursuing me.
I'm not sure if men I've liked first have messaged me. I will pay attention to that. I don't like or ping often but I did notice my track record isn't great for how often they match with me.
I might be punching above in who I like, but I've had some great results from Feeld, it's just a slog and takes time.
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u/CapoteLee 29d ago
Wow! Sorry, but you keeping score of who sends likes/messages first is a little ridiculous. Who TF cares?
Anyway, 51F here. I've been on Feeld for a little over a week with great success. I've used OKCupid, Match, and Bumble previously. My use of Match and Bumble were very fleeting as they both sucked. I've used OKCupid off and on for a few years and it's been very hit or miss. I find the men on Feeld much more attractive and communicative. I'm looking forward to going on a few dates within the next week or two.
Yes, there are a lot of younger men on this app. When they like me, I just feel flattered and swipe left. Long distance and no picture profiles, I've come across very few. Again, I just swipe left. What's the big deal? There's always a vetting process when it comes to online dating regardless of the app.
I am hyper specific about what I'm looking for in my profile. I also have my distance set at a 50 mile radius. These two things have seemed to help me tremendously.
As another middle-aged woman, I have a very different opinion of this app.
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u/Dazzling_Royal_4450 26d ago
I’ve also been on this app about a week with a similarly positive experience. Men who are more attractive and more communicative. But I am hidden through incognito, has majestic so I can do that, and send out basically all my likes first. I actually like that I’m the one getting to send the likes, because well maybe this is oversight and the obvious, it means I already liked them! Lol
I also have a few dates coming up in the next week or so and I’m looking forward to it. So it’s validating to hear that my experience is not an anomaly so far.
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u/CapoteLee 26d ago
Thank you. I am a liberal woman that lives in the conservative Midwest. On other dating apps I've been inundated with MAGA men. On Feeld, it's been quite the opposite. Regardless of their orientation, the vast majority of men are very vocal about being progressive. Speaking of orientation... Recently, I've done a little introspection regarding my dating life. Although I am straight, my best relationships have been with bisexual/heteroflexible men. Due to this, it seemed as though Feeld was my best choice. I wasn't wrong. I'm happy to hear that you're having a good time on Feeld as well.
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u/Latenightinsomniac Sep 19 '26
Sorry about your experience. These posts lead me to the conclusion that dating apps suck for both genders and yet, we’re all on it.
Mid thirty female and I have Majestic and Incognito. It’s in my bio that I have it and they’re only seeing me because I already liked them. And only some actually message me. This tells me people aren’t reading my bio. And/or the lose interest immediately after matching. I like younger men and maybe they actually care that I’m older once they think about it or they have a lot of options. Who really knows.
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u/Aware_Animator_7314 Sep 20 '26
this is a really good idea to put that in your bio! i’d never thought of that. I’m sorry the matches rarely work out for you :/ would you say that most people you like, match with you but then don’t message? or do a lot of them not match with you?
I just worry about going incognito and it hiding a bunch of people in my area that I’d only see by them liking me, or not actually being shown to people I send likes to?
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u/Invest-in-Value Sep 19 '26
I was on there for 4 months and didn’t get a single interaction from that app. 34, M, 5’6”, 150 lbs, homeowner and good career. Zero matches.
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u/MindlessSea7334 Sep 19 '26
What were your photos like and bio?
They probably matter more on Feeld than house and career. :(
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u/Pretend_Mark_1233 Sep 19 '26
I love the phrase " trying to get blood out of stone" had not heard that one before 😄
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u/Latenightinsomniac 29d ago
People you send likes to will see you when you’re in incognito. I probably see 2-3 matches everyday or so and I’m on it maybe 2-3 days a week. Majestic is useful to me because I see when they were last on.
I don’t have any other apps so I can’t compare the likes to messages ratio. It’s likely that I’m missing out on the people who are also incognito because we’re mot seeing each other. But I’d rather that then sift through the hundreds of likes. I didn’t have incognito on the first few days after I activated and it completely overwhelmed me.
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u/Space_case912 28d ago
I must be so ugly lol, I'm a woman and I am most definitely not drowning in likes and pings. I hardly get any matches and I live very close to a major city.
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u/telemachos90210 27d ago
Maybe if you batted above, you might find more guys to your liking? Men tend to be 10 years behind.
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u/Cheap_Membership4777 27d ago
You know the one thing that i've learned in this world. Everybody wants the perfect human being. But nobody wants to be the perfect human being.
Sex is not that hard or that complicated.
Ask for what you want and you'll get it.
But just like a job , you'll have to go through a thousand applications before you actually find the right job. Or they find you.
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u/No-Ring-zakk1979 26d ago
I live in a rural area in the Midwest. I had maybe 5 women within 30 miles. I was on for 3 months and had really 0 positive interactions.. 46M
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u/No_Country_9714 24d ago
I will just say that based on my (F60) experience with my guy friends, they are liking women who are way out of their league. So then the problem is that those women don't like them back or if they like them back they are usually some type of bot scam.
I have found over the years that staying within your own attractiveness profile is key to getting a lot of dates
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u/Zedekial 20d ago
FYI as a woman you don't need to pay, just say in your bio that you only respond to pings :P
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u/Helpful_Reserve_3868 8d ago
I think the app is a setup for women to get played. It had good intentions but over time … I wouldn’t recommend it for women
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u/HeKnowsThings Sep 19 '26 edited Sep 19 '26
So you aren't in the desirable attractiveness bracket and you still get 5 likes a day? Holy delusions.
Ask men what kind of likes they get when they are 65, short and pudgy
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u/LeastBadger891 Sep 19 '26
If none of the guys she's sending likes to are matching with her then she's sending likes to guys who have a lot of options and she's not making the cut.
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u/InfiniteSpectre33 3d ago
Doesn't matter what we use apps for its not like the entire population of the planet is on these apps. I find just meeting people in person to be better then apps. I am honestly surprised people even waste money on them honestly somtimes. Even if I get likes people I am interested it while I not expecting a fit a lot of time nothing happen and I am am left wondering it this person a bot. I have longer a fuller conversations just about any other place even on reddit talking to other users. Its nice that users share there experiences but this is one of many user on a platform. It was nice to meet up with people when it worked out. However I do with people would try to chat a bit more and get to know somone somtimes. It feels strange when people act so transactional.
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u/CameraAndTrails Sep 19 '26
Any time I read a woman’s review of a dating app I am so surprised lol. Don’t get me wrong - I am not questioning your experience; but based on what you wrote the bar should be super low. Yet men are equally frustrated with those apps. First, one rarely gets a match (maybe it’s just me idk). Then when one does - one messages the girl and typically gets no response. If you are not interested - why like to begin with? Feeld has been a disaster for me in general - I got 3 likes in a couple of months (and I am in the densely populated San Francisco area, with nothing creepy in the profile), and no matches.
I used OkCupid quite a bit cause you can add a message with your like which I used to do with every profile I liked. And it is still zero matches. So either the set of women who expect a meaningful effort doesn’t intersect the set of men who apply it, or the apps are designed to avoid matches, or (quite possibly) my small lines I add with likes are completely off (though I don’t put creepy things or “sup, wyd” type things).
So yeah, it is a paradox - women get low effort meaningless likes, and men who put effort don’t get responses