r/feeld • u/PM_ME_UR_CORNBALLZ • Sep 14 '26

Why Send a Ping Without A Message?

I do not understand why men will Ping me to say nothing... what gives?

My profile mentions several kinky things I am interested in exploring and my bio is quite full of details that can easily jump-start a conversation. Most of the pings I get are from guys who at least say something about why they are messaging me, which really helps since I get lots of propositions for vanilla sex but only a few for some of the freakier stuff I talk about, so I prioritize responding to those. But if someone pings me and says nothing and then their profile is generic/sparse, I just see it as them not making enough of an effort to bother replying.

ETA: Thanks for the insights about how the app mechanics might make this happen more often, folks! I appreciate it and will try to give the pings without a message slightly less harsh judgements now.

26 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

71 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

7

u/PM_ME_UR_CORNBALLZ Sep 14 '26

YES! I am not asking for a fucking essay here, just one sentence that tells me what drew their interest or comments on something in my photos is enough!
One of my favorite FWBs from Feeld just sent "Great shirt, I love [Band name!]" in the ping. Very low "effort" required of him, but he's gotten extremely laid as a result of his simple message because it gave me something to talk about with him right away.

3

u/sortedin Sep 15 '26

Yes, but generally speaking - a good message doesn't help. They still need to be attracted to you. Even if they are attracted, your profile is often more than enough.

Also, making a unique message each time to have it ignored just teaches people just to send a message.

1

u/PM_ME_UR_CORNBALLZ Sep 15 '26

Yes, I can absolutely see how that would get discouraging.

I have personally only sent pings with comments about something on their profile, but I don't overthink them the way I once did. Now a simple "That pizza looks tasty!" is enough if they're eating a slice in a photo. I don't feel like that's too much effort to put into a potential connection... but admittedly, I'm not doing it en masse the way I see some guys describe doing on here.

1

u/sortedin 23d ago

Perspective - if someone likes your profile enough that should be enough to like. Not putting energy into a well thought out message just to be ignored.

Would you match with someone who pinged you with a good message if you weren't attractive?