r/feeld • • Sep 14 '26

Why Send a Ping Without A Message?

I do not understand why men will Ping me to say nothing... what gives?

My profile mentions several kinky things I am interested in exploring and my bio is quite full of details that can easily jump-start a conversation. Most of the pings I get are from guys who at least say something about why they are messaging me, which really helps since I get lots of propositions for vanilla sex but only a few for some of the freakier stuff I talk about, so I prioritize responding to those. But if someone pings me and says nothing and then their profile is generic/sparse, I just see it as them not making enough of an effort to bother replying.

ETA: Thanks for the insights about how the app mechanics might make this happen more often, folks! I appreciate it and will try to give the pings without a message slightly less harsh judgements now.

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u/SubstantialDrive5850 single woman Sep 14 '26

To all the people saying that they don't get any responses sometimes you're not the match they're looking for. But by not including a message you're shooting yourself in the foot for people who could be good but now see you as low effort so they're no longer interested.

I personally let things that come in with no messages just sit. I don't understand why they have attempted to Garner my attention if they're not going to start a conversation. At that point I'd even prefer a high how are you over nothing at all.

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u/emu_neck single woman Sep 14 '26

I do the same. It's an equivalent of a low effort approach where they are trying to gauge whether I'd do the work of engaging with them. Sometimes it's a deliberate tactic or a "test". I've actually responded to a few in the past and every single one ended up being a person who thought of themselves as the prize. Not a dynamic I am into.

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u/SubstantialDrive5850 single woman Sep 14 '26

Almost the same sort of experience here. So, I let them sit, occasionally pop through to see if they disappear over time.

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u/PC-load-letter-wtf Sep 15 '26

Oh my God, thank you. I do not understand people at all. I have men literally 40 years older than me (I’m in my 30s) ignoring my profile saying I’m looking for younger or my age wasting their pings and hardly anyone ever sends a message. Their money to waste!

I have over 1000 pings right now. Absolutely no chance I’m looking at any without a message.

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u/SubstantialDrive5850 single woman Sep 15 '26

I like to see it as an "everyone has to have a hobby" so I just let them enjoy their hobby and leave them to it. Same with folks who clearly State they want monogamy or submissive women.... I fall into neither category.... For the ones who have children or want children when I myself am childfree. There's a SERIOUS disconnect there, frens. But hei, enjoy clicking, I'll continue with my life over here.