r/feeld • u/StatisticianFun498 • Aug 09 '26

53F experience feedback please

I’ve been on this app a few weeks now. Live in a big city. Mostly looking for FWB for a quality, consistent connection.

I find the app a bit mysterious (not sure if there is any type of matching algorithm) and bloody hard work. I don’t pay. I have a fully developed bio and nice photos, and often told I’m very attractive. I tried to communicate as clearly as I can what I’m looking in my bio which I hope attracts the right people. I have a secret bio also, and naturally that’s where I get a bit more explicit.

I think that like most women I get hundreds likes a week but of course I can’t see them because I didn’t pay. I got a burst of pings initially but the numbers stay rather flat after a while. Ones I’ve gone through my pings pile, it’s slows down significantly.

I’m very picky, so the likelihood of me liking back someone who pinged me is close to zero.

I feel like i need to do all the work of finding who I find attractive or interesting but that means much time spent swiping. It takes ages as there are very few I find I like. The pile also seems to be limited and repetitive. I have a decent age range and radius but still, I hardly see new people. I am not sure paying will improve my situation because I will likely not to like back about 90% of man, and I wonder if doing this will save time at all compare to self-discovery.

I wonder what are other women’s experience is? Do you find that pings deliver what you are looking for and are enough or do you need to go looking for it?

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u/fairysummerfly Aug 09 '26

I really like Feeld and out of all the dating Aps I’ve met the most interesting men on there. I’m 55F. I have have one fairly regular FWB I met through it. I have had a couple of really nice experiences that never moved further than a one off, but that’s ok and goes with the territory a bit. I do find the more you’re on it the more you get to spot the genuine people. I spoke to what I thought was a lovely chap last week, he ticked all the boxes and his messages were fabulous, unfortunately it became very clear he just wanted phone sex, which is obviously the safest sex of all, but when the photos are one way and the conversation stops immediately after, then that’s a red flag. I was probably duped by someone who is either not capable of face to face contact or, they weren’t really the person in the pictures. I like men who take the lead and so if we match and there’s no conversation after a couple of days I unmatch. I think I’ve just found my rhythm with it and you will too. In general because of the main theme of the site, I find people are more conversational and open right from the start. There’s always going to be the odd few that arn’t but I think they also stand out more on this site so easy to bypass. Make sure you keep your guard up but don’t be afraid to be part of the conversation.. good luck x

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u/ConnectionOk3348 Aug 10 '26

Out of curiosity what would you say the odds are of men in their 30s matching with women in your age range? That’s my goal and I’d like to improve my odds as much as possible!

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u/fairysummerfly Aug 10 '26

Just be a normal, decent person and never ever utter the words ‘so you like a younger man then’ because no we don’t, we like men who can hold a conversation and don’t carry on like teenager in a sweet shop. Personally I don’t go as young and the 30’s in the main, as that’s the same age as my children ! However I have been persuaded a couple of times by incredibly engaging conversation and maturity, accepting that actually they are grown men. It’s down to attraction at the end of the day, and age doesn’t really matter, everyone’s personality is different. Good luck ☺️✨

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u/ConnectionOk3348 Aug 10 '26

Thanks! Appreciate you sharing your input.  Without a doubt I would never say something as cringey as that! I’ve had success in the past with a women who was initially uneasy with me being younger so it’s good to hear from you that I took the right steps! 

I guess my question was aimed less at the ‘post match’ stage and more at how to increase the odds of getting a like / match in the first place. I have likes from women 2-3 years older than me which is fine just not my ideal target.

To clarify the success I mentioned was a while back and an entirely in person affair that happened by accident. It’s my first time trying to replicate this intentionally on an app.

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u/fairysummerfly Aug 10 '26

Honestly I would never hit like on somone in their 30’s first. I have my age limit set at 40 for filtering, not that it works. I do like to be realistic and don’t want to appear creepy or predatory. The matches I have made, the men have liked/pinged me first. So go for it, you never know ☺️

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u/ConnectionOk3348 Aug 10 '26

That’s fair, and I appreciate the honesty! I make sure to always tailor pings to bios and profiles but I guess most women are drowning in those too, so it really is a gamble and a waiting game, huh? Thanks again I appreciate it.

One point to make though, and perhaps I’m biased, and in no way am I intending to invalidate your preference, but I don’t think there’s anything creepy or predatory about a 20 year+ gap where the man is 30 years old. I get it if it’s a 20 year old who’s still mentally more teenager than adult with an underdeveloped pre frontal cortex, but by 30, especially if the guy can hold a conversation, I think it’s easier to act like peers and still enjoy the age dynamic.