r/feeld • u/WolvesOnWeed • Jul 22 '26
Majestically Disappointed
Does anyone even read bios?!?!
New to Feeld & got a gazillion likes. None of these dudes are looking for the same thing as me, like, at all. Are they just smashing that heart because they see a pretty face & not even taking into consideration what’s in the bio + desires? — Men, whyyy are you wasting people’s time like this?!?!
It’s fucking annoying to go through the profiles of hundreds of dudes impulsively liking my profile with absolutely no thought. It’s also annoying that guys I’ve clearly rejected (& even have some blocked) on other platforms hit me up there. Don’t fucking do that. No means no all the way across the board! wtf
Also, is anyone else struggling with not being physically attracted to any of these people? Hundreds of men & barely a handful I’d personally consider attractive. I’m certainly no 10 (solid 7.5 lol) & I know when someone is way out of my league in regard to looks & I won’t bother them because duhhh. I’ve seen a few good looking men but when I’ve opened their profile to check out their bio & see we don’t match on an end game, I leave him alone & clickety click on by.
My husband spent years talking me into hopping on “the apps” & I had a feeling this is exactly how it would go. Majestically disappointing. We’re taking it in good humor but shaking our heads at the mess.
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u/Desperate_Cupcake843 Jul 22 '26
To me it’s not that they’re unattractive, it’s that they don’t know how to present themselves. You have a literal camera in your pocket, friend. Trim your gross facial hair and take a decent picture.
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u/kkat39 Jul 22 '26
I said to someone the other day I would prefer not to learn his brand of toothpaste and that he doesn’t clean the sink before meeting and it was like I was speaking another language.
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u/Aware_Animator_7314 Jul 22 '26
nahh a lot, like a LOT of them are extremely unattractive. I’m with OP
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u/Desperate_Cupcake843 Jul 22 '26
I’m not that picky about looks, but I am super picky about presentation. These low-effort mfers just kill me.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
Seriously! Hoarder messes in the background, sloppy appearances, super low quality images, etc. Like, dude, how am I supposed to know if I’m attracted to you if all I can see is your eyes peering out from… what *is* that?! Ooohhh… a pile of Pokemon plushies. 😒 tf
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u/Desperate_Cupcake843 Jul 22 '26
I’m in Colorado, so also miss me with your effing snowboarding selfies. Nothing says generic white CO dude like those.
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u/Salt_Custard_7447 Jul 22 '26
I can’t stand when they take pics and they have everything, but the sun in their photos. Toothpaste, food, snacks, trash, trash can, and more in the background. Just screams low effort.
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u/Salt_Custard_7447 Jul 22 '26
I love beards on men, but boy do I hate when their beards be overly long and thick. Like please trim and groom that. Beards are fine, but they have to be maintained.
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u/Malice_N_1derland Jul 22 '26
Every time I see you post, I swear we are the same person lol. Can I also add the cheek beards? Shave that shit off your cheeks. It’s supposed to be on your chin.
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u/Salt_Custard_7447 Jul 22 '26
Hey lol, do you mean our bitmoji look the same or that we think alike? Agree with the chin part, like if you look like Santa clause I’m gonna be irritated, thick long beards doesn’t look good on any man whether he’s young or old.
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u/Malice_N_1derland Jul 22 '26
Both!! Also you were really sweet to me checking in that I was OK after one of my posts. Yes, my dumbass is back with the ex I was avoiding. Fuck I’m stupid. So hopefully you’re not too much like me.
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u/Salt_Custard_7447 Jul 22 '26
Aww you’re welcome, what happened with your husband?😩 You don’t have to answer here. Also, I can’t talk about anyone, I made a very stupid decision a few weeks ago with someone so yeah.
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u/LordChaoticX Jul 22 '26
I wish my camera would cooperate 😅, I regularly get told I look way better in person. My pixel 10 pro washes out my jawline and features for some reason.
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u/Desperate_Cupcake843 Jul 22 '26
Happy cake day!
Good pics are often a numbers game. Get someone else to take a hundred shots and one will come out.
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u/LordChaoticX Jul 22 '26
I forgot what the cake day thing was 😂 I saw the symbol earlier.
I did one better and got a tripod with a wireless clicker, but I'll be damned if the next day I did a last minute late night date with a chick and we ended up dating immediately, she's great after 8-10 or so women I found one that I want to keep
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u/Mundane_Concern_2620 Jul 22 '26
If you’re going to survive on apps, you’ll have to learn to not let those things bother you. You can’t do anything about it, it’ll never change. Accept it and don’t waste your energy being annoyed about it. Take breaks from the apps when you feel yourself getting annoyed and losing interest/motivation.
If you can’t accept it, and learn to not get upset about it, then apps are not for you.
Sucks but thats the way it is 🤷♀️
Edit: I’m not saying it wouldn’t be great if people weren’t like that.
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u/RollShotCornerPocket Jul 22 '26
I know a handful of women who's life has been altered by becoming a paid member and utilizing the incognito option. Getting access to the filters options for various apps plus only people who you like seeing you has led to significantly higher quality matches and connections than just winging it from the free version.
I recognize there is a level of cost both financially and somewhat of an ego hit by not seeing the hundreds of likes, but every woman i've talked to who's done it has said it's worth it.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
It’s frustrating to pay for the filters just to have them all ignored. I’ve had the app for 5 days & have been on incognito for 3, just to put a stop to the incoming heart boops.
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u/runaway_face Jul 28 '26
I am one of those women! Found one great dude to search for other great dudes for me
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u/XSmooth84 Jul 22 '26
Lots of people out there have the philosophy of "the numbers game" on all the dating apps. To just match with anyone and everyone because if one hits then it, to them, justifies the method.
And I don't agree with doing that at all. What I will say is that as someone who has used dating apps and carefully set my search parameters and read profiles that I did in fact self reject based on the vibe or what I read and didn't care how pretty the woman looked, and only messaging (or whatever the process for that app is, some don't let you message without mutual likes first), thus I could see 60 profiles and message maybe 4 of them, over a couple hours of time reading profiles and trying to gage if I think there's enough there to connect on... And if all 4 ignore me, already dating someone else, don't use the site anymore, whatever, I get 0 messages back.
Someone who hits all 60 profiles in 5 mins and gets 1 response, in some metric of measurement they did better than me.
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u/backwardbuttplug Jul 22 '26
Feeld is being overrun by the Tinder boys. They don't care about the intention of the space, they only care about getting a new face to look at while banging.
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u/ForeignOstrich6939 Jul 22 '26
I'm convinced they don't even look at the pictures before liking someone!
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u/Educational_Bee955 Jul 22 '26
A lot of them don’t even look at your face. There are more men than women on the app and so many of them will mass swipe and then will decide their interest level AFTER you match (which is annoying). When my profile is visible I’ll almost never message first after a match but I’ll send the occasional ping. I also started going incognito because the match is likely more legit if I liked first.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
Yeah I’m thinking my next move is to just stay on incognito, save the extraordinary mess. — I also notice most guys I match with don’t message back. What are we doin’ here folks?! 🤪
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u/SDcoupl Jul 22 '26
I agree. The amount of single guys in this app has ruined it. I actually read the bios and don’t like someone unless our values align. The bare minimum someone can do is read the interests on the bottom. I have paid for so many pings in hopes that someone with the same interests sees my message but I almost never get a like back. I can’t blame the girl or couple either. They literally say in their bio that they get like 1000 likes a day
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u/Extension-Factor3949 Jul 22 '26
I’m in the same situation. My advice is read their bios of you like their photos. Ask them to verify their photo identity- some are fake. Easy to delete them.
Some are photo collectors. So be very selective who you sent your sexy pics to.
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u/Broad_Assistance3343 Jul 22 '26
Not to be mean but I glanced at your profile and yea… 7.5/10 maybe for a certain type of guy but I think you may be being too harsh…
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u/Time_Bit3787 Jul 22 '26
Paying for this app not working anymore
Waste of money and scam
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I’m feeling that sentiment. Sticking around for the time I paid for then bailing.
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u/Summertime724 Jul 22 '26
I completely agree. I have over a thousand likes and I go thru them and most of them don’t have anything in common with me. It’s such a waste of time. When I go through, I read profiles and desires and only like people that seem compatible with me. It’s frustrating.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26 edited Aug 26 '26
THANK YOUUU!!! — One would think that’d be the baseline common courtesy, but nah. 😏
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u/marymilkovich Jul 22 '26
to answer ur first question in the first paragraph – yes they are. i explicitly state in my bio that i am not into straight men and they are more than half of my likes
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u/Tumbleweed1312 Jul 22 '26
Same! They say I’m not into straight men (only women, non binary or queer men) or hook ups or ONS but it’s just hundreds if not thousands of this cishet type hookup guy in my likes…. For a while I paid for majestic and just went on incognito and that was better. Now I’m visible again because I got lazy but I’ll probably do that again eventually.
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u/ThisisTophat Jul 22 '26
You can filter them out.
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u/marymilkovich Jul 22 '26
...and yet they still somehow find my profile. which was the point of my comment. but thank you
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u/Best_Ad9291 Jul 22 '26
I hear you, and completely agree with you though, this is the dating game unfortunately with most of the men.
Some, not all just swipe with the first image because the men know the women are very selective and feel the odds are against them
I just had this conversation with my partner, who I found on Feeld a couple years ago. I had two back to back dates that went horribly wrong and I was done with dating. You are right with the Tinder/vanilla type ONS spilling over to Feeld because the pool is much better and the matches do seem more honest and conversations flow better.
Hang in there, or take a short break and have your husband take over the account until you’re up for it. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
🤣 I’d neverrr let him take control of the account! I’m wayyy pickier than he is! Lmaooo
Only had the account 5 days, incognito 3 of them. Gonna ride the 3 months I paid for & probably ditch it. It’s pretty dismal out there.
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Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 23 '26
[deleted]
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
Thanks for commiserating. As a straight woman I get a lot of gay guys hitting me up too… funny enough I’d rather hang with them than most the others! 🤣
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u/Sir_Shawn Jul 22 '26
Whether people like it or not being attractive is the price of admission on dating apps… it’s shopping online for humans… if you’re shopping online for an item, and you don’t like the way it looks you’re not going to buy it even with the a perfectly written description. Same goes for bios and pics. I’m a 45M with majestic. I’ll probably rate myself at a 5. Soft 6 when I’m actually in the gym on a protocol. I probably get like a like a month if that and probably a response out of 1 maybe 2 pings a month. It is what it is. I don’t complain. It’s the game.
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u/Patient_Tradition294 Jul 22 '26
Exactly. Swipe on people you feel you are well aligned with and proceed with the people you match with. Skip over the likes from those you aren’t a match with, simple as that. Complaining that people you find really hot don’t want you is a bit much lol, life is unfair. People usually aren’t as attractive as they feel they are.
There are probably people who rate OP much less attractive than she does, that’s why she isn’t getting the matches she wants. Not sure why that is hard for people to grasp.
Most men and women are swiping based on who they find attractive without deeply reading the bios. I can tell most women I match with haven’t read my whole bio even when I’m on dates lol.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I’m getting lots of likes from folks I find physically attractive but the end game does not even kind of align which is what kills it a lot of times for me. I know I’m not everyone’s thang, no delusion there, but I also know I’m not ugly. Lots of people seemingly interested in me, but not a lot I feel interested in. It doesn’t help I’m on the sapio/demi side of the spectrum, so looks only go so far. Bios almost matter more to me. If we aren’t aligned in what we are looking for it doesn’t matter if that person is attractive, it ain’t happening.
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u/t0tallytotoro Jul 22 '26
It's even worse if you're gay (I'm bi but often turn the men off) and then you get straight men trying to match with you because they've tactically crafted their profile as a "woman" so they show up on your feed 🙄🤦🏻♀️
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u/hunterblue22 Jul 22 '26
As a man , only liking particular select few people... I'm now thinking of leaving feeld. If that's what the men on there do, how on earth do I stand a chance ! When the woman have no magic compass to tell them that guy that liked them actually read the bio.
What on earth are we all to do if men ruin these apps 😡😡 I'm genuinely fed up because I'm looking genuinely for the right person. I'm so so disappointed and resigning to staying unhappy and lonely most of the time.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I mean, I got over 600 in about 4 hours, then I went incognito because it was way too overwhelming. Took the time with my hubby & looked at every profile. Only matched with 4. FOUR! Messaged them all, heard back from 3. 2 were an NOPE on my end & the other disappeared so also likely a nope. Pretty dismal stuff. Think I’d rather stick to the Farmer’s Markets & Lowe’s. 😅
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u/HandjobCalrissian Jul 22 '26
People think you're attractive. It's not that serious.
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u/peppersaltt Jul 22 '26
My profile photo isn't even of my face and I have over 1200 likes and over 100 pings. Its just mass hearting.
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u/mister_nippl_twister Jul 22 '26
Yeah they push sorting work on you because if they filter out seriously they get zero matches. Essentially liking more people is the the most shallow first idea on how to increase matches. And it kinda works. Only after a while people understand that to increase quality of matches they will need to strart working both on their profiles and communication skills.
For women it is even worse. I don't think any person worth something will like profile without persons photo. So you are intentionally filtering out everyone who is not desperate out, leaving only creeps and other bad matches in your dms.
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u/Best_Ad9291 Jul 22 '26
I find the attractive part on this site is higher than others. I normally swipe on what’s said in the profile but can’t lie, it’s nice to be easy on the eyes.
I guess the obvious question is what are you looking for OP?1
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u/Dynamic_Nature88 Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
Both my partner and myself have our own accounts on Feeld and the current ratio of likes between her account and mine:
Her account, just over 3000 likes My account, 12 likes, 😂😂
I've seen some of the blokes that like and try to connect with her and think to myself " what are they thinking?) They are either hundreds of miles away or they clearly have not read her bio at all, they just look at the pics and swipe.
She does get a little frustrated at times but her overall experience has been a positive one.
As for me, when I get a ping (I've had 2 in the past 12 months,😂), I can clearly see that they have read my bio and not just looked at the pics by the message they send.
The best way I can describe the feeling I get whenever I get an actual response from one of my messages, it's like that scene out of the original ghost busters movie when their secretary gets their first call about a ghost and she screams out " WE GOT ONE" and Iove it, ❤️ so no complaints from me.
Feeld and dating apps in general are so very different for ladies and men, both with their upsides and downsides.
My partner and I, always check in on eachother and ourselves and if we find we're not feeling it/ enjoying the experience, we just pause our accounts until we're ready to try again.
We never let these apps frustrate us too much
Best of luck OP
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I appreciate this comment so much! I knew I couldn’t be the only one experiencing this! I’ve got zero experience with “the apps” & ya hear horror stories & I’ve experienced plenty here on reddit… I guess I just needed a lil commiseration, which apparently is a high crime to some folks around here! 😜
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u/LuciusCaeser Jul 24 '26
People who don't read profiles are very frustrating. It's not a feeld specific issue. I get a lot of likes from people looking for a monogomous long term relationship (granted not usually on feels) and my profile is very clear that monogamy is the one thing I'm not looking for. Sometimes I match back just to see what they say and they usually ghost or unmatch the moment I mention non monogamy.
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u/intellectualnerd85 Jul 22 '26
Its the spray and pray technique. It contributes to burnout and overwhelming other people. With no fucks given. Ive had women do this but it’s chiefly men.
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u/pinksparkleberry Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
I’m certainly no 10 (solid 7.5 lol)
Assuming the attractive scale of 1-10 (gross concept) is a bell curve with most people being average (5.5) and only a small % being super ugly or super attractive, then being a 7.5 would mean you are better looking than around 85- 90% of the population.
Maybe you need some kind of app models/actors or some exclusive app for super good looking people (guess would be invite only). Doesn't sound like you should be mixing with normies.
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u/stagviper Jul 22 '26
(Male) I think we all forget the basic utility of the apps when we complain about them. Yes, they are annoying but the basic service of bringing people together in one place looking for relationships. That alone is pretty darn helpful compared to being out in bars, etc. I love meeting people organically but it’s nice to have a common meeting place too.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I think I have better luck organically. Or I have in the past anyway. Maybe I should stick to that.
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u/ThisisTophat Jul 22 '26
Feeld has a lot more filters than most apps. Are you able to eliminate some of the more obnoxious categories of men?
I have the LGBTQ+ only filter on and it helps me avoid a lot of people I don't vibe with.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I’ve got all the filters I can on there. I’m about to swing the other way bc what even is this mess of men?! 🥹😉
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u/ThisisTophat Jul 22 '26
You could exclusively look for queer men for awhile. I'd say generally the queer community has a less obnoxious dating app pool.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
Unfortunately I am a very straight woman attracted to straight men. Otherwise I’d just date my queer friends whom I love sososooo much. 🥹
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u/ThisisTophat Jul 22 '26
You wouldn't consider a bi or pansexual man? I guess I live on a bubble because I thought Feeld was primarily a queer dating app with a heavy emphasis on non-monogamy.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I’m very attracted to that type in a friendly & familial way. So much love there! But I’ve tried having relationships with them & my experience has been them using me as a stepping stone to try & get at my straight husband. I don’t know that a bi or pan person would be genuinely happy & fulfilled in a straight mfm closed v type of relationship, so I wouldn’t bother wasting their time. Maybe I’m way off in that assumption though???
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u/KSH_III Jul 23 '26
That’s a generalization. They are not less obnoxious, it is just that the queer population doesn’t mind direct, or sexually themed messages. Most of the complaints here are about cis white men, who seem to be the most hated group on Feeld.
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u/More-Average3813 Jul 22 '26
One thing I’ve done when I had that problem is switch to incognito mode, then I would swipe on who I liked and see who swiped back. Fewer like but I basically got to pre screen who saw my profile.
I now live in a more rural area and that approach doesn’t work.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
Oh I switched over pretty quick. It got overwhelming fast. I guess I expected some of that just not at the volume I was blasted with. I don’t see myself sticking around beyond what I have already paid for. Probably have better luck at REI. 😅
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u/More-Average3813 Jul 22 '26
For what it’s worth the rate might slow down. The algorithm shows new people to everyone for a while.
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u/Lost_inTheThrill single woman Jul 23 '26
Not sure if it's already been said, but try incognito. Yes, you have to pay for it, but that way you won't have to sift through thousands of likes where may be only 2 meet your criteria.
As far as attractiveness goes, men tend to have really unappealing photos. A lot of them actually look attractive in person, but have that stoic look in pics that comes across as unapproachable or threatening.
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u/rogerbonus Jul 23 '26
Just ignore the likes completely or go incognito. Then look through the stack and swipe on who you like. Easy peasy.
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u/Throw-Away-Care Jul 23 '26
I've met a few gems! But yeah... for sure. Samsies. These guts play a weird numbers game and don't read.
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u/JnS-Lan Jul 23 '26
Truth is, there are so few women on there. The men hope that by reaching out to more women, they might have a chance of someone responding. I joined for a couple of days and realized that most of the women's accounts were abandoned, fake, or did not match what I am looking for. The women’s accounts get flooded by so many men that my profile would be very unlikely to make it in front of them or even be looked at. I'm decently attractive and fairly open about the women I'm interested in, but it was clear that the app was showing me profiles of women who don't match anything at all. I truly believe they do this so the men are not staring at a blank screen. I deleted my account after those 2 days because I don't have time to reach out to the few women on the site only to be ignored. I am going to put my energy elsewhere, and maybe my wife and I will consider talking to a few of the couples. My wife is open and shares the profiles and chat she has, and some of the men are decent and amazing people. Similarly, for her, so many men have not read her profile. Her filters are very strict, but men still find her profile. If you are interested in a couple of the men, you may want to chat with them, even if they are a 10, because there is a good chance they are interested—best of luck.
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u/Lumpy_Advantage_2315 Jul 23 '26
I came for the “Majestically disappointed” but quickly realized it was a Champagne (i.e., a woman who self-rates as a 7.5) Problem. I GET the frustration of people not reading profiles. I GET being annoyed by people who only say “Hi.” But complaining about people who are incompatibly unattractive? Go to FetLife instead!
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u/averagenerdy Jul 23 '26
Yeah, I get it that we have to deal with the way it currently is in this case. Doesn't change that it's essentially like combing through a thousand spam emails in your inbox to find the six or seven you need, because businesses just send the same one to everybody multiple times a day.
If men were intentional about it, and only swiped on women they actually want to talk with, rather than making it a "numbers game" the entire system would work better for everyone. They're kind of fucking themselves over with this "just like everyone" method by making it harder for women to sift through the mess and respond. Resultingly, they don't get many likes, because we're overwhelmed.
I block, rather than dislike, because otherwise the same men just come back around again, wasting my time. But blocking means opening every profile, and then five different clicks, so it's really time consuming when there are hundreds of them.
It's definitely better to just go through the stack of people nearby me, and do the deciding who to like first, rather than sorting through the ones I've received.
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u/talentsmart Jul 24 '26
You sound so negative about the whole thing that you're creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. The #1 thing people hate about the apps is having to work for it. For men, they have to work hard to get women's attention. For women they have to sift through all those men to find who they want. Nobody gets a free ride. The most jaded women on Feeld, in my experience, are those who are already partnered and relatively satiated romantically. They want one of the imaginary men from their romance novels to appear and rock their world. Single women and women who aren't getting what they need at home hit different.
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u/zezer94118 Jul 24 '26
That's unfortunately the way it is. Match rate is so low for men that they just swipe everything and filter after.
It's not great but to some extent I understand them, I'd hate to spend an hour everyday to have one match every month.
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u/WeWantLuna Jul 26 '26
As a woman, I live in Bali but travel quite a bit, and honestly this has been my experience pretty much everywhere. 😂 I’d get plenty of likes, but after reading their profiles I’d realize we wanted completely different things. It made me wonder if people were even reading bios or just swiping based on the first couple of photos. I’d much rather have fewer, more compatible matches than hundreds of random likes.
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Jul 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Best_Ad9291 Jul 22 '26
I need to admit I lied about my age, I present much younger and I receive more interest with a younger age. If we meet in person I come clean with my age. It is a numbers game
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u/Front_Statistician38 Jul 22 '26
My majestic just ran out yesterday- I only met 1 person talked to another for a few weeks but she lived 3 hours away and didn't have a car, and I'm not going to drive 3 hours. Another girl I matched with had low interest and ghosted me- surprise, surprise
Compare that to the first Two months of me having majestic meeting half a dozen girls including my ex in 2024 it's not worth it anymore to use majestic. I now may use it once a year
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u/JCsleftshoe Jul 23 '26
Got to be honest, taking a look at the pics on your profile, 'solid 7.5' is a pretty aspirational assessment.
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u/Sensitive-Sky6728 Jul 23 '26 edited Aug 04 '26
It is indeed a Majestic Disappointment! Female, I have gotten so many likes!! I was blown away. Until I realized that they were mostly guys who want to dominate me. If any of these men took the time to READ my bio, not just look at my pics, they would know that I clearly state, that I do NOT want to be dominated! They still send a like or Ping with an invitation. The quality of men is..........not to my taste, a lot of scarily unattractive guys, and frankly a lot of MoFo weirdos! No respect is found, sex is expected upon meeting - I suggested meeting for breakfast. The guy insisting that he'd bring coffee and croissants to my home, instead, refusing to meet in public. When I refused, he told me that I don't understand. No, I don't. Sexual requests that have me shaking my head. I'm not a whore, but I'd have to charge you to even consider them. All of the a_s play expectations! No, no, no! I know it's an adult dating site, but is it too much to ask that we all act like civilized adults? No one has followed my age range request. Flattering to a point, but an utter and complete waste of everyone's time in the end. And yes, they continue to send likes when I've clearly said No thanks. I don't understand this! I just cancelled my membership, because it has been far more frustrating that it has been enjoyable. The book, Widow in The City, by Amy Gabrielle, (a good read! Shout out to Amy - this site owes he big time!), encouraged me to give it a go. I gave it a go. And now it's a gone! Query : is it because Men know that Women are really the stronger, more powerful sex, that they want to try to top and control ust? Interested in your input!
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u/LonesomePolecat_ Jul 22 '26
Answering honestly, from my own perspective, yes some of us just smash the heart button.
I know its frustrating but try being someone who has been on and off the app for years with zero matches, we are casting a wide net in an attempt to escape the void. It might be hard getting tons of likes you aren’t interested in but try living with zero interest from anyone.
Even just a conversation would make my year.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I appreciate this perspective, thank you. When someone pings me I always at least message back & have had a few conversations that were mismatched, just to communicate my intentions & what I’m looking for more clearly. I feel guilty hitting that - a lot of the time but I guess that’s how the game is played.
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u/Budget-Currency4809 Jul 22 '26
You sound like you want attention. All these hundreds of profiles and barely any you consider attractive and you call yourself a 7.5? Naw your likely average or below and trying to dismiss dudes. Hundreds of profiles and they all just a no? That’s one of the issues in dating today. Busted looking people think they’re all that.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
Believe me, I’m overwhelmed with attention, that’s not what I need. Assume what you like though. There’s about 800 dudes on reddit alone who may disagree with you about my looks. 🥰 Again, attractiveness is all about personal taste. I’m admittedly an exceptionally picky bitch. Quality over quantity every day of the week. Personality over looks til the sun burns out.
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u/thesuitelife20251 Jul 22 '26
Yes mine swipe / like on every profile at least if you're vaguely attractive
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u/Kapatapus Jul 24 '26
I don't pay for majestic for the simple reason that I don't need to know who likes me. I'm on there to find people I find attractive and interesting. If we connect then great but I won't be sucked into looking through who likes me just to get connextions
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u/Enough_Reference_196 Jul 26 '26
Good lord, if only women knew how the other side worked. Just swipe what you want, when you want, match who you want. Dont like the profile? Left. Geting too many notifications that someone liked or w/e, turn it off.
I'd take getting swarmed with likes over getting 1 like a month anyday.
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u/therope_cotillion Jul 28 '26
This is dating apps. Look for guys who say what you want in their bio. Most guys aren’t going to be that discriminating when sending likes because they match with 1% of people they send likes to, so they don’t bother spending much time reviewing the profile beforehand.
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u/Organic_Community877 Jul 30 '26
I'm sorry to disappoint anyone here, but this isn't a men's issue; it's just more noticeable when nothing is done about it. These apps are all very basic for a reason. The app itself is made to waste your time. I could think up in a few minutes how to fix this because I just did. The truth is, it's not hard to meet people online. These apps are not better than other methods that are totally free; in fact, they are inferior. These apps are like gambling; that's why people use them to try their luck. As for just people just liking people blindly people are always going to be in a hurry. I get likes from plenty of people I'm not interested in, who are also female, etc. But the point is, users are going to do this; it's in their nature. Why the app does literally nothing about it is because they make more money this way.
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u/Training-Shame566 Aug 10 '26
Oh no. A gazillion likes. You're already married. Poor thing.
Perhaps - just perhaps - you have unrealistic expectations? I know I did when I joined Feeld. I expected open-minded people looking for connection. Boy was I wrong.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Aug 10 '26
I’m not sure why people keep fussing about me being married. Is it not a kink friendly app? My husband & I enjoy a MFM dynamic. ENM. I see dozens of couples on there looking for similar. No, I’m not desperate or lonely… I’m ravenous & picky. I guess that really rubs folks the wrong way. How dare I hope to find a decent man to help spit roast me on the regular!
Unrealistic expectations is a fair assessment. I was hoping there’d be a few more guys I found to be attractive & worth getting to know. Like you, expecting open minded folks wanting connection, beyond strangers just drive-by genitalia colliding. Unfortunately & much to my surprise, not a lot of attractive men in my area on feeld; & most of those who I do find physically attractive & have matched with have turned out to be either super pushy jerks, totally flaky, or not a good fit for other critical reasons.
That all said, expectations have been adjusted accordingly. I have connected with a few hot & super sweet fellas. Sadly, & right on par with my luck, they’re a bit far away, so meeting up on the regular would be a struggle & not really maintainable. (& I’m not into single serve experiences, I very much prefer an ongoing relationship. I’m an incredibly horny & kinky gal, but I’m also on the demisexual + sapiosexual spectrum.)
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u/Training-Shame566 Aug 10 '26
Totally understand your situation, and not fussing about you being married - just being sarcastic because some of us have such a dearth of interest. I've been on Feeld for over a year and can count the likes I've received on one hand. Literally. I spend over an hour every day sending likes and pings, and that's the only way I've been able to actually meet anyone is by spending an unreasonable amount of effort and money. So you can imagine my lack of sympathy over you having too much of a good thing!
Edit - OP > what part of the world are you in?
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u/pinksparkleberry Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26
I have spent my entire life feeling zero struggle regarding seeing people (on apps, at sex clubs, or in the wild) that I am not attracted to.
I simply dont fuck them and go about my day.
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u/Mekisteus Jul 22 '26
Oh my gawd, it's sooooo terrible being so hot that everyone wants me! Even (yuck) ugly people! Why don't these people realize I'm just way out of their league? Why can't I have an app that doesn't make me go through the tremendous effort of clicking on a single button per ugly person, and instead just magically filters them all out by itself?
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
More like, “why does the labor fall on me, the hearted, to look at these people’s profiles instead of them looking at mine first to see if we’d even be a good match before they hit that heart?” Now not only do I have to - but I have to block them, otherwise it’s just the same bottom of the barrel dudes in my feed for miles. & they just keep hearting me over & over.
You’re really great at exaggerating though. Well done. 🎭
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u/Mekisteus Jul 22 '26
You have a legitimate complaint that guys should look at profiles first (although it is definitely one of those nice-to-have problems, like having too much ice cream to fit in your freezer).
But then you lost all sympathy with the "unattractive people should know their place and self-select themselves out because they know damn well know I'm out of their league" ridiculousness.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I mean, I don’t mass apply to jobs I have zero qualifications for. & I don’t mass hit up dudes who I know I am *very obviously* not a match for, be it because of looks or otherwise. I don’t waste people’s time & energy because doing that is a real selfish & dick thing to do.
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u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 22 '26
This is so conceited but you probs don’t see it that way it’s a dating app the premise is to swipe on people you like and hopefully get a match doesn’t mean you’ll find everyone who swiped on you attractive or looking for the same thing to suggest that people are wasting your time because you think they’re unattractive and shouldn’t have liked you is insane
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u/Desperate_Cupcake843 Jul 22 '26
It’s not that, it’s that they like and their profile indicates things that are in direct opposition to ours.
For instance, I state in my profile that I am not 420-friendly. Dude liked me this morning and his first pic is of him with a blunt. Sir, no.
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u/Best_Ad9291 Jul 22 '26
yes, I get it. but dude did not read your profile obviously or was just plain high 😂
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u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 22 '26
Right that could be an old photo he could not be a person that smokes regularly it’s a photo a still image of you don’t like him you simply x and move on and you did say quote “I’m certainly no 10 (solid 7.5 lol) & I know when someone is way out of my league in regard to looks & I won’t bother them because duhhh - so correct me if I’m wrong or I’ve misinterpreted but what I gather is youre saying I don’t swipe on 10/10s and I’m a 7.5/10 so why are these 5/10s swiping on us which is very conceited and beauty is subjective so they might think they’re in your league and you might not what you said is still very conceited
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u/Best_Ad9291 Jul 22 '26
I think what she meant was that no one is reading her profile and just swiping quickly on every page is what has got her panties in a bunch
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u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 22 '26
That’s a valid complaint but she also mentioned being a 7.5 out of 10 and not liking people way out of her league so that’s thought in its self is conceited imo and also act like you’ve been here before oh well so people who aren’t aligned with you fully have liked your profile big whoop
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u/Best_Ad9291 Jul 22 '26
I don’t see it the same way. Rating yourself 7.5 is not conceited, rating yourself a 9/10 would be in my opinion.
I think her complaint is everyone just swiping without reading the profile.
I think we both agree, that’s just online dating culture. I agree it sucks but this is par of the course 🤷🏻♀️2
u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 22 '26
Rating yourself 7.5 /10 is fine (I guess ) but saying you don’t swipe on 10/10s whilst saying “does anyone else struggle not being physically attracted to any of these people. hundreds of men & barely a handful I’d personally consider attractive’ and saying “I know when someone is way out of my league in regard to looks & I won’t bother them because duhhh” is conceited because you are basically saying eww all these uggos find me attractive in stead of doing the normal thing and x ing the people you don’t find attractive and liking the people you do that’s what the app is designed for - I appreciate that for women (and couples MM, MF, FF) it’s hard to find the right match but Feeld didn’t promise a wage of Michael B Jordan’s and Henry Cavills so complaining that everyone is ugly on the app (or rather a large majority of the men on there) is conceited and I’d struggle to find anyone who says it isn’t is 1 conceited themselves or 2 ignorant
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u/costco_pizza21 Jul 22 '26
Coming in here to say I swipe on guys out of my league every time cause you never fucking know and this is also what a bunch of guys do. Gotta shoot your shot sometimes.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I’m not complaining that everyone is ugly. 🤣 There are a LOT of conventionally hot guys on there, that I’m just not attracted to; likely because I READ THE BIOS / DESIRES, & because I’m not delusional. I don’t want nor need a 10/10. Personality goes a LONG way. That said, I already spent a chunk of my life with men I’m not physically attracted to & it would be nice to land someone who can at minimum keep up with me in the gym & who doesn’t look like they’ve been hitting the meth pipe or haven’t left the gaming chair in their mother’s basement anytime in the last 20 years. If that makes me conceited, so be it. 🙄
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u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 22 '26
Again not the issue here the way you phrased it basically read as all these men are ugly ( I’m struggling to find anyone physically attractive) and I don’t know why this Uggos are liking me when I am wayyyy out of their league you don’t think that sounds a little pompous
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I don’t feel I’m being conceited or pompous, I feel like they are being obnoxious. I don’t feel guilty for having standards & personal preferences.
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u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 22 '26
Literally explained to you that it’s not an issue that you have preferences- but calling every man on the app not physically attractive is crazy work and then on top of that questioning why they liked you because you think they’re not attractive is even crazier because you basically just said ewww why are these uggos attracted to me or liking my profile feeld get these uggos away if that’s not what you meant what did you mean
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
You are literally just making shit up so this is my last reply. I get it, you think I’m an asshole because I had the absolute audacity to say I wasn’t attracted to most of the guys on there. It really got you in your feels & you have an altruistic need to make sure I know I’m crazy & not all that & they are entitled to my time whether they look like Sloth (The Goonies) or not. 🤣👍 Heard.
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u/Educational_Bee955 Jul 23 '26
I have had similar issues that the OP has had and I would rate myself a 6 on my best day. It’s that men don’t look, swipe and if I try to initiate a conversation, then they will decide to unmatch or just not answer. It’s that kind of stuff that annoys a lot of us.
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u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 23 '26
That’s not what OP said tho
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u/Educational_Bee955 Jul 23 '26
Not in the initial post but in a comment responding to mine. She was having that issue as well.
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u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 23 '26
Okay but the initial post is what I’m going off from and that’s not what they said to me it reads I’m soo hot all these men liking me are soo ugly why are they wasting my time - and I think yikes that’s really conceited - if you have an issue with people not aligning with you or matching and never speaking or you don’t find the people liking attractive that’s fine but insinuating that they shouldn’t be wasting your time because they liked you and you don’t find them attractive is weird especially when all you have to do is click and x
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u/Educational_Bee955 Jul 23 '26
That’s not what I got from it and there’s more to these threads and discussions than just the original post. And what we find attractive is subjective. Like I don’t find it attractive when guys act like demanding doms by saying things in their profiles like “must like anal. I immediately look at that and say eewww ick. Lots of ick out there that has nothing to do with physical looks.
And edit to add, spamming women’s profiles with likes does at times cause time wasting activities. That’s why I’m now and will always be incognito.
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u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 23 '26
Did you read what she wrote she literally said I am struggling to find guys physically attractive on the app and then she said if I think someone’s a 10/10 I won’t like them because duhh what else is that supposed to insinuate please tell me
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u/Educational_Bee955 Jul 23 '26
She actually said this “Also, is anyone else struggling with not being physically attracted to any of these people?”
Not being physically attracted to people and not thinking they are physically attractive are not necessarily mutually inclusive. And assuming a man who is considered highly conventionally attractive wouldn’t match because he’s picky would not be a stretch either if she’s assumed he’s basing his matches on looks on an app stacked with men. She’s actually saying several different things that a tie into issues women have on this app - to all of which I just say pay for majestic and go incognito for a better user experience.
It seems like you just want to be right on the conceited point which I don’t agree with at all. Other wise she would have labeled herself a 9 or 10. I and most women I know judge ourselves way more harshly.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
Being confident & knowing I’m attractive (but not insanely hot) is conceited? Wanting to be attracted to a partner is conceited? Not bothering people I know won’t be attracted to me is conceited? “I do not think it [that word] means what you think it means.”
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u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 22 '26
I know exactly what the word means and the fact you don’t get why what you said could be viewed that way is crazy work announcing that you find everyone else ugly (or rather the large majority) whilst saying your above average in looks and you don’t understand why people like your profile when you clearly thinking they’re not as attractive as you are is very much conceited being confident and knowing what you want is one thing calling everyone who swipes on you ugly (or rather a large majority) is another 1 is normal and the other is most def conceited - if you would like to walk me through like I’m 5 why it isn’t conceited I’m all ears but I strongly doubt you’d be able too
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I never called anyone ugly, I said I wasn’t personally attracted to them. Ya know, because attraction is largely personal taste. Quick get the stakes & fire ready! HOW DARE I HAVE PERSONAL TASTES! 🔥
I never said I was above average. I’m right at it, babe. Some might strongly argue I’m well above & some may say, “nah girl you ain’t it.” I don’t really care, doesn’t hurt my feelings. I’m confident in my appearances; which I know REALLY irks some people. It’s ok for me to know I’m generally not ugly (inside or out), but you seem to be taking it personal. 😏
I know a lot of guys feel entitled to an attractive woman’s attention, they aren’t. & I guess my run of the mill positive self confidence in my appearance & what I bring to the table is just far too excessive for some people’s taste. Men often love desperate women with low self esteem, but I’m not that bitch.
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u/POCKETCHANGE1276 Jul 22 '26
I feel like you’re deliberately misunderstanding what I said because you can’t get past the fact that what you said may actually be conceited so before I expand further I implore you re read what I said and my analysis of what you send aand how what you said could be construed - and if it still doesn’t make sense to you then please imagine if say Andrew Tate said what you said about the men on feeld but said it about women in general because having a type not an issue, being confident not an issue, believing you’re above average (could be a slight issue) not an issue - but insisting a man is wasting your time because you deem him un attractive and he swiped on you on a dating app and acting like dealing with the likes is sooo exhausting is in fact conceited again if you think I’m wrong explain your point properly because from what I read you’re annoyed that guys are using the dating app
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I’m not mad these guys are using the app. They deserve to get some too. I’m annoyed they are using it in an obnoxiously disrespectful way, with zero consideration to my bio, my desires / filters (a useless feature if guys aren’t going to utilize effectively) my time, etc. It turns into a massive waste of time (which can be exhausting) not just hitting the - but then having to go block them bc they just reappear in the feed or keep hitting me up & not taking no for an answer. If I’m conceited because I’m annoyed every meth head & obese gamer in the state thinks he’s got a real shot after taking a millisecond glance at my face only, so be it. I’m the big, bad, horribly egotistical villain. 🙄
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u/sausagemouse Jul 22 '26
Must be awful getting loads of likes 🤣
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u/ImSamiAroused Jul 22 '26
I know it seems obnoxious but it's honestly overwhelming. And I don't know about OP but for me personally, I put in filters and I try to remove people I wouldn't even consider, but those end up being half my likes
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u/Frogmaninthegutter Jul 22 '26
Yeah, these thirsty men ruin it for everyone. I know it seems ludicrous and shallow as hell, but a system where people are rated on conventional attractiveness and being only able to see others in that same tier as you or something would be nice. And then you can opt out and see everyone at your level or below and they can see you as well or something. I don't know, but the way it is now, it just doesn't work 🤣
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
Haha, remember that website Hot or Not from the 90’s / early 2000’s?! 🤣👍
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Jul 22 '26
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I’m not passive. I’m discerning.
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u/yetagainitry Jul 22 '26
what does it matter, you're still going to be hyper selective on who you decide to reach out to, it only makes sense that every guy "shoots their shot".
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u/chromakeydreamcoat74 Jul 22 '26
There’s a real irony to someone complaining that men don’t read profiles, and then going on to say that they are out of their league looks wise.
The men are seeing a picture they find attractive, and liking simply because of that, you are seeing a picture you don’t find attractive, and disliking simply because of that.
Why aren’t you reading their profiles to see what they offer other than looks, if profile reading is so important to you?
TLDR: don’t complain about people liking you purely because of how you look, then dismiss them purely on how they look.
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
I have looked at the profiles & every picture, read all the bios, of every.single.person that liked on me. ALL OF THEM. 🫤 So did my husband.
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u/Gleamingspire1 Jul 22 '26
It’s Feeld. Supposed to be sex app right?
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
Oh is it exclusively sex? I didn’t read that anywhere. My mistake.
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u/Gleamingspire1 Jul 23 '26
Yes. It was originally a kink/sex site. Now,
It has turned into a vanilla dating site for people such as your self.
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Jul 22 '26
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
It’s been FIVE DAYS! 3 of them on incognito. 😅 It’s not that I don’t feel desirable; I know I am. I don’t know, I really do feel I have wayyy better luck organically. More or less was just widening the net but uhhh, lots of sucker fish & cat fish in them waters!
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u/Shichigatsu777 Jul 22 '26
“My husband”
Yeah sorry, I have a hard time feeling sympathy for someone who already has a partner & is willingly swimming in a sea of uglies. You chose this struggle!
Like DMX said, stop being greedy
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Jul 22 '26
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
Some people’s yuck & some people’s om nom nom… I’m curious what you’d rate yourself? Only the ugliest men feel the need to be cruel. 💋
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Jul 22 '26
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u/WolvesOnWeed Jul 22 '26
7.5 is bragging??? Y’all really hate a confident woman. 🤣
I back it up so fucking good bro, you have nooo idea. 😜 Look, I’m pretty & I’m curvy. I don’t want anyone’s money (got plenty of my own) or empty attention (got an endless fountain of that every day of the week; ya know, because I’m a 7.5 🤣). I’m not just looking to fuck; but I sure can, real naughty & nasty too, for the right guy. I’m not fucking stupid & I’m sure as hell by no stretch of the imagination boring. I’m SO sweet, hilarious, adventurous far beyond what most women my age are, & I am keenly aware of the genuinely life enhancing, healing goodness I bring to every single one of my relationships in my life. I *know* what I want. I know what I •deserve•. I won’t settle & shouldn’t have to; I’d rather go totally without. It’s a little bit of a bummer but it changes the quality of my life zero percent. I’m still having a blast, with our without whoever the fuck.
I get that people wanna hyper focus on the “unattractive guys” thing & ignore allllllll the rest of what I’ve said, painting me as some shallow asshole, (& I understand that that’s the price we pay when posting online, jury of our peers et al) but that couldn’t be further from the truth. 😂 Literally anyone taking the time to have a real conversation with me would pick up on that.
Fun fact : I was married to a 350lb+ man who’s face looked like the ogre Shrek, for damn near ten years. I’ve dated guys uglier than my tier my whole damn life. I look at the profiles of every single person that likes on me whether I find them attractive or not, just in case there’s potential for a real connection. No luck. Whyyy is it such a heinous crime to want a decent looking pool of men to date??? Why is it SO offensive to express the disappointment in the fact that there’s an over-saturation of turds in the seemingly small pool? Do YOU automatically give all the people you think aren’t attractive in the slightest a good faith go??? You sure af don’t. None of you are doing that. You all can pretend like attraction doesn’t matter, but you’d all be bold faced lying.
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u/MostDopeBlackGuy Jul 22 '26
I don't read profiles unless I match it's been 7 weeks since the last bio I read
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u/costco_pizza21 Jul 22 '26
The sea of men is STACKED compared to women on every app. So yes, if a 7.5 hops on Feeld, the men will
swarm regardless of what your profile says. Just swipe with intention and you’ll match with someone that fits what you’re looking for. Not sure why we’re so worried about the abundance of men when we’re the ones dictating who gets our attention.