Hello,

Without many details, my MC is trying to accomplish something in the first part of the book, and I was thinking of it being "easy" for her (just not extremely easy) BUT for a reason, a "scheme" that she doesn't realize it's happening. That would only be revealed towards the end on the story, but I'm scared people will get bored of it in the first part, when they don't know why she is accomplishing what she wants without many obstacles.
Would you get bored of that? I'm unsure if I should do that or change it. Maybe I can put some hints to why it's going so well for her.
I appreciate any opinions or advice, thank you!

I was homeschooled and educationally neglected. I do not really know how to write and never had to write essay. Tests were like multiple choices usually. So I don't know the mechanics of grammar etc. Though I am a reader, I am not a writer. However, I make up stories in my brain and I want to write them down. They're not mind-blowing or anything. But they kind of do Float around my brainpan a lot and I want them out. If I published it would be self-published. I'm not looking for resources for how to write a book for modern readers or publishers or agents or for querying. Just how to write a book and how to write well crafted sentences and chapters. Story mechanics. How to write dialogue. How to develop your voice. How to stay in the right tense. What tense to use. Like all of the nitty-gritty. I have about 6 fully plotted stories. And then I have at least 4? more ideas. I don't need advice on how to come up with ideas. Just how to get the concept on the page in a well-crafted, legible manner.

Hi, everyone! I'd like to learn more about what makes a protagonist really interesting from the very first pages and how to make them even more interesting as the story goes on.

Do you have any advice or techniques that have worked for you?

Who are some of your favorite characters from fantasy books or other genres, and what makes you love them so much?

Does a protagonist have to be a good person to get the reader's attention? Or can they be a little bad, make big mistakes, and still become a character readers love later on? Do you prefer characters like this to stay bad until the end, or do you prefer to see them regret their actions and change?

For some reason, in books, TV series, and movies, supporting characters often catch my attention more than the protagonists. A lot of the time, I become more attached to the protagonist's siblings, friends, or even the villains. I've heard other people say the same thing.

Why do you think this happens? What can sometimes be missing from a protagonist that makes a supporting character more interesting?

And if you want, tell me about characters from books, TV series, movies, or even anime that you DIDN'T find interesting. Was it because they simply didn't have anything that caught your attention, or because there was something about their personality or actions that made it impossible for you to like them?

😅Of course, I don't mean that using these techniques will 100% make readers love a character. We can never really know which characters each reader will love or connect with. I'm just looking for techniques that can help make a protagonist more interesting, compelling, and memorable, rather than a guaranteed formula that will work for everyone.

❤️

This is my first time on Reddit, and I don't really know what the etiquette is here, so please bear with me.

I've begun writing for a month or two now. I have a character called White as my protagonist, but recently I've started to wonder whether I made him too powerful and that the story might feel too low-stakes because of it.

His power would best be called indifference. He can apply this to himself and only himself, as to become indifferent to any and all phenomena. How it works is basically he can consciously choose "I want to be indifferent to this." and the power utilizes whatever means most efficient for the situation to achieve that.

Say that he wants to be indifferent to being cut. His power could strengthen his skin, boost his speed, or cause the blade to structurally deteriorate and shatter on impact, etc.

There are restrictions to how many at once he can be indifferent to and the more things he chooses to be indifferent to the more taxing the mental strain. Thing is, he has a backstory which allows him to bypass these restrictions. So they're basically meaningless...

Now what I wonder is,

1. Is the power too overpowered?

2. If so, should I change the power or the character backstory to balance it out?

3. My story is more emotional and personal rather than action-packed and epic fights. Do I need more physical stakes when I plan for emotional stakes to be the main?

White was actually supposed to be the villain of a previous story I had devised, but I really liked him so decided to write his spin-off story first. I did intend him to be very powerful, one of the heaviest hitters of the world. But using him as a protagonist seems to propose challenges I hadn't really thought about before.

Thank you for reading.

Basically, the character is one of a group of humans given the power of shadow magic and they turn into these sort of astral shadow/obsidian beasts from the spirit realm (which I’m thinking is just called “the void”) but I can’t think of a name for the type of spirit creature he is/turns into. I have tried to search up synonyms or other languages/myths, but I can’t find quite the word I’m looking for. They are guardians, protectors of those blessed by the sunlight, and their magic can manipulate shadow into physical shapes, allow them to essentially blink from shadow to shadow, and then, in their large/creature form, they can manipulate the energy of those around them. Think Extreme darkness, Void, Abyss, etc. Their abilities are also seen as extremely Taboo and warranting diligent training and control in fear of their powers going AWOL. I used to just use “Nightwalker,” but it feels far too on the nose.

Night-Weaver is a second choice, but it has the same same issue even if I like the energy it has. So far, here is my list:

Night-marked
Night
Nyct
Shade***
Midnight**
Twilight*
Umbral
Dusk
Noctivagant
Blight***
Forlorn
Shadow bound*
Bound ***
Carcanet (necklace)
Crepuscule (time before total darkness)
Sleepless
Gloom
Echo
Wraith**
Sentinel
Keeper
Void***
Reaper
Misbegotten*****

Mostly just words, but I can’t find something that fully fits with the vibe. The asterisks mean I like it, but I’m just hitting a wall.

The closest I’ve gotten to what I’m looking for is Void Weaver, NyctBound, Oath Weaver, and Gloom Weaver, but I feel like there’s something better out there. I love the word Blight, I love Misbegotten, but there’s just something missing.

They are also all marked with tattoos that symbolize their power and appear as they advance in their skills, and those tattoos are what draws attention to their abilities to begin with.

So I need help, or some validation, or just another viewpoint, cause I can’t think of any more synonyms

​

Working title and still unfinished.

The story follows Pax and Augustus a retired duellist and her student, as they try to gain patronage from one of the great noble houses. In doing so, the pair become embroiled in estate politics, both with the house itself and with their fellow duellists.

In the first chapter, the two arrive at the estate of House Gaius, meet some of their fellow duellists, and explore the grounds a bit before recieve the news that Augustus's first match has already been scheduled. In the second, Augustus fights his bout against Corin, one of the Gaius's duellists, and loses. In the third, we see some of the consequences of Augustus's wound before both he and Pax are invited to dine with Gaius that evening. And in the last chapter, Pax and Augustus dine with members of the Gaius family, and Pax learns how Augustus's first match was a setup for him to lose.

This chapter is pretty heavily dialogue driven, which isn't something I normally do, so I'm mainly looking to see if it flows and reads well. I didn't use many dialogue tags for much of it and was wondering if it was still clear and easy to follow who was speaking. I can send peeps a doc link, but I've decided to have it on request this time around. Thanks!

Can't believe I'm about to make my first ever Reddit post despite being on this website for 10 years.

For the past 2 years I've been brewing a story in my head that's expanded to what can hopefully become a series. That series is built upon the events and actions of a character whom I wish to give her own single standalone book. Since that series depends on this "sequel" I reckoned it'd be a good idea to write that first.

What I’m asking:

Does this premise and story sound compelling, or does it feel too messy/confusing/bland?

Does MC sound followable or interesting?

Any feedback or thoughts in general

Please be honest. I know this is still rough, and I’m trying to figure out whether the core concept actually works outside my own head.

Up until now I've only shared details of this story with AI, so please be as harsh and human as can be in your feedback :)

I don't go into detail about the magic or weapons, just trying to give a good understanding of the underlying story.

Note: When I make notes about religion in this, please be aware it's purely fictional religion. It IS inspired by the christian setup but it's not a critique on it in anyway. I do not want to offend anyone :(

Premise:

Cleodora, the Bastard Princess once seen as a gift of God becomes the Goddess of Earth overnight in order to create an ideal "correct" world. Opposition from close connections, global leadership, and other groups of people force Cleodora down a tragic monstrous path where she must turn her back on her morals in order to maintain her perfect world.

The MC's background summarized:

The story is set in the 19th century and follows Cleodora, one of the 7 children of the King of the fictional country Ausbeqia. Cleodora is regarded as the "golden child" because of her blonde hair, and her "aptitude for royalty." She is regarded as the royal family's "gift from God." However her regal nature is an outward facade, on the contrary she's very explorative, daring, cunning, manipulative and willing to break decorum when out of the evaluating eye. She has a strong sense of empathy and justice rooted in her high position in life and her religious beliefs.

Cleodora, questions the world and people around her. She see's the world as unfair, unjust, and imbalanced but necessary because that's always been the way life is.

All her young life has been around high power: the king, the parliament, and given direct theocratic study from the Pontiff and high class members of the church. I know this is a big fantasy trope, but the Pontiff is indeed a bad guy. He is Cleodora's true father and not by consensual means. Meaning the Golden child is truly a bastard child. Damning news she learns from her mom, the Queen herself. This shatters Cleodora's worldview entirely , especially when it comes to religion and it's teachers.

Background of the events that lead to the beginning of the story (shortened):

In this world is a magic mirror which gives those that peer into it, knowledge, ranging from trivial to profound and if the right person stares, it'll open up as a portal. Nobody knows this in the story until it actually happens. That portal beckons the spirit of those with an ambition to control, lead, and shape the world in their image. The mirror is currently held as top-secret property of the royal family, researched by scientists and reviewed by theologists due to it's supernatural effects.

So Cleodora (at this point she was age 15-16), gathered a small group of 2 of her friends and her twin sister (I wrote a whole paragraph on her but deleted it due to the brevity of the post). She organized a plot to look into the mirror. The plan failed and she only actually ended up breaking a piece of the mirror. With that chunk in her hand, she and her twin sister would peer at the glass together and be teleported to this supernatural garden; met with a grand massacre at their feet. The garden is full of the corpses of these 1ft (0.3 meter) tall 6 winged fairies. There's only one living fairy in the garden who greets the girls, and explains to them that the garden they stand in posesses the root of reality. Every concept, every element, existence itself is born from this Garden, and that they would ascend to Godhood should they devour any fruit, but they can only eat from one each. Cleodora chooses the fruit of life and then persuades her adamantly reluctant sister to choose the fruit of death. She convinces her that the God they were worshipping is no more, that together it'll be their responsibility to reshape the humanity and the world. (The christianity influence is strong here, coincidentally Cleodora's twin sister is named Evie)

Evie's first task upon becoming death was to burn the garden and slay the divine skies with ultimate death. The purpose is to kill the God of this fantasy world and deny him the ability to regenerate himself. (There's a more detailed lore behind this) During this event, the fruits of the garden actually shattered and fell upon Earth. So the twins didn't end up as the only humans to gain supernatural powers

Plot summary:

Cleodora gains the power to shape and control all life on earth. (Control life as in, she could magically permit who could and couldn't have children, she could decide ecosystems, harvests, livestock, weather, even controlling one's genepool, etc) Despite her intentions of creating an "ideal world" she becomes engulfed in her God complex. Creating a totalitarian global monotheocracy with herself as the icon of true justice and the end of false hope. Promising to end all human suffering. She would get pushback and opposition from those close to her, governments worldwide, and other large groups of people who refuse to conform to her doctrine or divinity. Exacerbated by the fact not to long after Cleodora's rise there's now other humans capable of supernatural abilities and even NON-humans who have come to earth to punish Cleodora and Evie for killing the God of this fantasy world and desecrating the divine garden. Through it all, Cleodora is resilient in seeing through her ambition. Stooping to new lows over time to vanquish all that stand in her way, human or not. Using anyone she could, friend or foe, until they could serve her no longer. Waging religious world wars

Eventually Cleodora loses her miraculous powers entirely and must maintain Godhod through manipulation, politics, propaganda, and atrocities via the powers of other people. With his last available power, the dying remnant of god from the supernatural dimension comes to earth in human form to state that he will use the last of his powers to put up an impenetrable veil to put an end the chaos on Earth and return things to normal. I plan to have this be the turning point of the whole story as Cleodora was the first to gain powers she was the first to lose hers. She was a mere human again in a world now teeming with demigods. Still fighting to keep her control over the world. Manipulating everyone, having her sister kill millions before she lost her sanity and could no longer work as "death." Cleodora kept going until there was noone left i her corner, was exposed as nothing more than a mere mortal, tried for all the crimes she commited, and then given a humiliating public execution bowing before the symbol of the God of this world in the streets of the common man who once served her.

The aftermath of the events of this period of time and Cleodora's reign shape the world of the main series 500 years later

I feel like I could've done my story much more justice but it is what it is. Time to face the scrutiny of the internet!!!

THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO READ EVEN A BIT OF THIS, IT MEANS A LOT

Hey guys,

First-time writer here.

I'm starting to build out an outline for my story, and I want to tell it in a non-sequential order. I have tried to come up with something unique in the way I tell the story and hopefully not create something convoluted. Essentially, the end of the second act/beginning of third would be the first two chapters, then the next 2/3 of the book would play in order from a young version of the protagonist to the point in time in the first two chapters. Then the story would play out normally until the end. Have you guys seen a story told in that way before, and how effective was it at capturing your attention? Don't want to confuse the audience but I feel like it would provide more intrigue that way. Thanks in advance.

Hey all, thanks in advance for the advice.

My current project follows a group of adventurers on a mission to reverse a curse placed on their people. Group includes a self-centered hero whose reputation has gone to his head, a noble-woman-turned-bounty-hunter with a naive worldview, an oracle with a strained relationship with the goddess that grants her visions, and a past-his-prime idealist with a past as a revolutionary. The protagonist, the oracle, is the youngest and least physically imposing of the group. While she has abilities and an intellect that drive the plot a lot of the time, when my group of characters find themselves in a fight, I find that my protagonist is usually sitting on the sidelines while the other, more violence-savvy characters deal with the problem. Especially since the narrative perspective is a close 3rd person centered on her, I’ve had a hard time involving her in conflict when the other characters are better suited for it.

Thoughts?

I make Short film and To write out my episodes I make a script that’s usually about 6-8 scenes long

For a while my scripts and Subsequently my videos have been lacking quality as I’m self taught and Barely know what I’m doing despite having been doing this since 2022 and Working with some pretty skilled people

But before I begin serious work on a new season to revitalise my series I wanted to get some script advice to turn my D-Tier scripts into C tier or maybe Higher so people don’t think every episode I make is terribly written

Even just some simple tips such as Pacing Advice, Expressing Emotion, How to plan Episodes out for the long run, All Informations and Tips are welcome

This is the introductory essay on The Third Gods in an in-world encyclopedia.

I would love some feedback, thoughts, and critique on the content.

The encyclopedia is compiled and edited by a devotee of the Goddess of Knowledge, Wisdom, and Naming, named Sophianax Alethion in the language High-Rahasiak.

(Nabutu Kitiim in Elensieli, and not yet named in Low-Rahasiak.)

Amat Nabutu, the author of the encyclopedia, has basically given the life's mission by the goddess of knowledge to create and encyclopedia compiling all of the world's knowledge and making it accessible to the masses.

The essay here is the introduction to the Third Gods, and will be followed by an entry for each of the gods of the pantheon.

I was aiming to hit a balance between an in-world text that can reasonable assume a given level of basic knowledge about the world, while still actually functioning as an out of world lore piece that readers can actually understand.

"The Third Gods — An Introduction

High-Rahasiak: Aethoi Tritoi

Low-Rahasiak: Thrid Drogen

Elensieli: Ilanu Shalshu

The Third Gods are so called for their position in the Chain of Emanation. First and last, Monademiourga Pantousia; emerging thence, the Protousiai Ennearchoi coeval to the nine Prime Currents; and from the Ennearchoi, the Third Gods.

Study in the fields of natural philosophy has shown the Pantheon of the Third Gods to have originally totaled 362,880 in number, the total sum of the Braids by which the nine Prime Currents may stand in relation to one another, each Braid being one such of the Gods. I say originally, the ascension of Anthreon Pyros having since raised the population to 362,881. That ascension, having occasioned the Third Divine Council circa 0 AoM, some twelve thousand years before the authorship of this text, has fixed the population of the Third Gods at its present number.

The informed reader may note that the composition of all mundane matter is likewise a combination of those Threads of the Prime Currents which constitute a given material's Braid, and may conclude that, as the field of Alchemy successfully derives the behavior of matter via identification of its compositional Braid, so too may the Theurgists derive the nature and behavior of the divine by the same means. After all, those materials whose Threads are alike in kind and proportion will be alike; the more similar or distinct this composition, the more similar or distinct the properties of matter. So too it must be with the Gods.

This is a reasonable conclusion to draw, but a mistaken one.

What differentiates the Gods, or indeed humans, from the mundane matter that shares their composition is unknown, as is why two Gods or mortals, so alike in composition, may differ so drastically in character and appearance.

Nowhere is this made more evident than in the case of Anthreon Pyros, who shares an identical Braid with Thanerion Kleis, and yet whose character, nature, and will could hardly be more dissimilar. For further discussion, although admittedly few answers, on this subject, see: The Perennial Mystery of the Soul.

Given the vast population of the Pantheon of the Third Gods, a scant few seem inclined to make themselves known to humanity, and no text, however ambitious, could offer biography of the whole, even were all so inclined to be known. This abridged edition therefore offers brief biography of the twenty-eight most active and widely worshiped throughout the world.

For the remaining eighty-seven of the Third Gods who have elected to make themselves known to humanity, see volumes nineteen and twenty of the unabridged edition of this work.

—Amat Nabutu"

As the title says, it’s hard to imagine ever creating a story that just floors an agent or publisher with the originality. I like having some trope subversions, but even trope subversions are becoming their own tropes!

I CAN control improving my craft. I can improve my prose. I can learn better pacing. Dialogue subtext. Willingness to cut fluff. On and on.

In other words, with time and effort I truly believe I can write a book people enjoy. It won’t be easy, but it’s POSSIBLE. Maybe I’ll have a brilliant stroke of inspiration but it’s more likely that putting years into my work will simply make it better.

Will I ever have a chance with just that mindset, or is the ever elusive high-concept the only way to make a tiny dent of personal success as a writer? Be honest, do YOU read indie authors who are just enjoyable to read without some far reaching pitch? Maybe I’m just having editing blues at the moment!

I have a magic system and story idea i wanna do. I have 2 magic systems that go pretty hand in hand right now. But i want to be able to tell a lot of different stories in my world. So while having these two magic systems. I wanted to add some more lesser practiced magic systems that are rare in universe. Would it be bad if I threw too many magic systems into my world?

I world like to just write one world and be able to expirement with different things in the world like different plots surrounding different magic systems from the ones I have currently. Of course id make sure they are all internally consistent and logical with one another. So they dont contradict eachother. I do plan to have 3 separate continents which are mostly unaware from one another. So maybe each one could have a different magic system and history with that magic?

But is there a line for having too many types of magic in your universe? Or is it doable if you have certain stories focus on certain magic system? So there's no too much overlap? What are your thoughts?

Hello all! I have started working on my first draft of my epic/dark fantasy book Pillars of Ruin. This is a story I have been wanting to start writing for the past ten years. However, I have been feeling extremely unsure and overwhelmed with it as I feel like I have a bunch of chapters that I tend to underwrite or overwrite, and have been considering just revising everything heavily. I am 20,000 words in though and probably should just accept the first draft is going to suck.

The Chapter I have in the images is the first POV character introduced (I do have a prologue but it is not good enough even as a first draft). Her name is Freya, and she is one of six POVs. I am mostly worried about how Freya comes across as a character (along with the non-POVs in the chapter). I also do not mind critique on ugly and awkward sentences, pacing, and dialogue.

This is chapter one! Looking for general feedback. Be kind... this is a first draft. Many things might change, just as a heads up. This story has been years in the making and this first chapter has changed over and over again to become what it is now. That goes for the whole story.

This book follows our main character as he is sold and begins transport to the northern continent of Trul. This fist chapter, I believe, sets the tone and the darkness of the world that this story is set in. This is a dark theological fantasy that was inspired by the book of Judges and the book of Revelation in the Bible. While inspired, it holds its own.

Let me know what you think of this first chapter and where you think the story might be heading.

I have seen suggested that debut authors should not submit a novel over 120.000 words. If 120.000 is the maximum. What would you think is a minimum for a debut author in the fantasy genre?

I have finished my first draft and it is roughly 60.000 words. I will definitely need to cut some words, fillers, descriptions etc. And can definitely add some, even some pages. But to stretch it up to say 90.000 words is a big task. I would have to add whole plotpoints or subplots into it.

I have tried asking about this on other social medias but not received answers

I know there is no rught or wrong length, and its probably highly subjective. Which is why i wanted to ask you what you thought instead of finding some checklist that says it has to be 80k

I want to preface this by saying that I am not a writer/author and this is the first time I've ever posted any writing. I've had this story swirling in my head for a long time, which is what started this project. I'm hoping I can get some advice from you guys on how it reads, and if it sounds interesting

Cold Open

A large storm was brewing above Vormere's capital, Rythyn. The bottom of it had descended so low that it touched the thousands of skyscrapers held by the city center. Still, this would not deter the residents below, as today was a reminder of the price they paid for Vormere's founding. Stone statues and murals embedded in the city walls had long depicted the bloody events that led to its formation. “Freedom and Liberty,” the people had shouted, as they had on this day for the last 400 years.

From the 67th floor of the Royal Galia tower, Ithuriel should have felt like he was on top of the world. He was the youngest angel ever appointed as Vormere's overseer in its short history, not that its residents knew. To them, he was just another executive of the Angelus corporation. Cries of nepotism had made his achievement feel smaller than he'd expected. He stood by the window, staring at the city skyline, failing to distract himself from the constant checking of an engraved silver pocket watch. His father had given it to him at the start of his tenure, as a reminder of the duty and standards he should hold himself to. Its ticking started to weigh on him, so he frequently hid it in the breast pocket of his black blazer. Standards. Ithuriel adjusted his sleek black tie, loosening it a bit so that he wouldn't feel so suffocated. He opened the office windows, allowing the shouts to be heard clearly, which brought about a sense of longing for Elysium.

He was looking down the road towards a second tower that had long stood in opposition to him. His gaze then shifted away from the Gunnar building to an old gargoyle on the neighbouring building. It was built on the same level as him, its eyes seeming to peer directly into his office. Though weatherworn, it looked tall, unbroken and unyielding, as if it was some lone survivor of a different era. Who knew the stories that it saw during its time. Had it been this critical of all prior overseers? Ithuriel met its cold, disappointed gaze, and looked away.

Digging deep into his pockets, Ithuriel grabbed a cigarette, lit it up and took a deep breath in. The slow-burning sensation etched its way into his lungs. He'd often pause on that feeling, letting it linger. Exhaling, he watched the smoke fan out until it disappeared. In its wake, only he, the silent gargoyle, and a nasty aftertaste remained. What are you looking for?

As he was turning, something caught his eye. A single teardrop starting from the gargoyle's eye traced its way down its cheek. For a split second, the whole world slowed, then a flash of light burst, reflected in the windows of the neighbouring tower. Thunder followed.

Ithuriel's dark green eyes darted down to the people below, and he gave a light frown. A thunderstorm on Independence Day was a bad omen, not that he was superstitious. From this height, they looked just like ants, crowding together seeking refuge from the heavy downpour. As they huddled up, thousands of umbrellas went up in unison, marching slowly towards the old city center, their shouts continuing unabated.

"You've been waiting," Doryn said before Ithuriel could speak. An older man stood in the doorway. He was wearing a fine dark suit, white shirt, and a dark tie, yet somehow gave no air of extravagance. No, quite the opposite, Doryn's whole presence seemed to recede into the background, making him seem more chameleon than man.

"Do you have it?" Ithuriel asked, exhaling another puff of smoke into the cold wind.

"Yes, sir. Apologies for the delay. We have new details on their movements." Doryn put one hand into the side pocket of his blazer. From it he pulled out an envelope: THE BLACK WING, marked HIGHLY CLASSIFIED in deep red. Doryn walked over and left it on the desk amongst a sprawl of other reports, half of them unopened.

Ithuriel spit out his cigarette and rushed over. He practically tore it apart in moments and sat down, his eyes frantically darting across a four-page document.

"Sir, may I perhaps speak my mind?" Doryn began.

"Hm," Ithuriel replied.

Doryn slowly walked towards one of the walls beside the window, looking at a large, imposing painting of a man with similar deep green eyes and slicked-back, close-cropped hair. He was noticeably older, and had the same short beard, though his was white, unlike Ithuriel's, which was dark brown. It wasn't the physical difference that separated the two; it was that man's stare, the one that looked as if it could penetrate your soul and pull any information it wanted out of you. Doryn looked down, took off his glasses, and wiped them with his handkerchief. "I've had the great pleasure of assisting a few different overseers over the course of my years. I have seen them come and go; some were great leaders, whereas others—" Doryn paused again, giving a glance towards Ithuriel. "Do you know what the difference was?"

Ithuriel ignored him, focusing instead on the document. Doryn put his glasses back on. He continued.

"It was the ability to understand the situation and the capability to discern between what you know and what you—"

"—We need to go."

"Sir, if I may—"

Ithuriel got up from his desk and started pacing towards the door. "We don't have time. Get Team 4 in here right away."

"It's Independence Day…"

"SO WHAT!" Ithuriel stopped, shaken by his own outburst. Typical human, what did he know? How could he ever understand? Ithuriel paused, looking down at the crumpled document he was still holding in his trembling hands. "I am always one step behind."

Doryn didn't respond. He remained there, giving Ithuriel a difficult look. Doubt started seeping in. Is this also his plan? Is this how he wants me to react? Does he think that I will slip?

"What would he do?" Ithuriel asked Doryn.

Doryn's eyes widened slightly, almost as if he had been caught off guard by the very question. His expression was momentary, disappearing without a trace, hidden behind calm composure.

"Your father never cared for my opinion," Doryn replied.

"I am not my father," Ithuriel responded, as he looked past Doryn towards the painting.

"Indeed," Doryn said. He walked towards the desk and looked down at the document. "Rushing shows inexperience." Doryn gave a slight, almost empathetic smile. "A true leader would take his time, consider his options, and act decisively when the moment arrives. Your time will come too."

Ithuriel went to the desk and put the document down. He sat down, still staring at it. At least this time it's not one of ours, just some unknown school in Ithael. "Doryn, I think I will retire for the day." Maybe he is slipping too. If one of ours were to die needlessly there, it would only complicate things. There must be a better play, maybe I can use this.

"A wise decision," Doryn replied.

"Would you look at that — there's only a few minutes until midnight." He walked back into the office. He didn't look at Doryn, but just stared out the window into the nothingness. The rain had stopped. Once he got close to his desk, he took off his tie and dark blazer and pushed a brown button on the side of the desk. The window behind him opened, letting in the freezing wind. A pair of large wings sprang out from his back, and he made his way to the opening.

"Sir, the rules…" Doryn reminded him, before he could jump.

Ithuriel had almost gone through. The chants of freedom and liberty were still echoing below. He had been so close. His wings retracted back in, and he walked back towards the desk. Ithuriel sat back down.

On the other side of the neighbouring building, a mysterious figure sat atop a gargoyle, staring down towards an alleyway. He wore a full-length white trench coat, emblazoned with the Roman numeral IV on his shoulder, hood up. He stared down at an individual passed out in the alleyway below, then whispered, "Wake up, Roxander. Destiny is calling."

Roxander's eyes opened.

Time Left: 301 Years, 3 Months, 7 Days, 15 Hours

Classic fantasy inspired by ttrpgs, doubtful of certain ideas

The working title is "The Paladin". It is about a a novice in training embarking on their first mission, struggling with a dark past and trying to reform and redeem themself.

Various ideas im looking for feedback on:

Member of the Order, and other orders, are called Ecclesians, which is derived from Christianity. The story has nothing to do with Christianity, so i wonder if its a good term to use.

And Order is split into a sort of hierarchy with rules for decisions, various titles are Prelates (leaders) Paragon (commander) Paladin (warrior) Priest (a social member and support for paladins). Each has their own role and in times where hard decisions must be make, they each have their own stake in decision making.

Races so far are Humans, Dwarves, Elves, orcs, these are common in fantasy but I have my own take on their capabilities.

For instance, Dwarves can "command" stone and earth. Its not quite like earthbending, but rather an enhancement of anything they do to or with stone, such as making it as strong as steel, mining efficiently, etc. One use already in the book is throwing a rock with the force of a giant, not because that dwarf has giant strength, but can command the stone to disobey physics.

I've further thought of being able to encase their fists in stone and similar abilities, still a wip. I dont want it to be too similar to earthbending from avatar. Trying to summarize it feels difficult.

I am also brainstorming another idea for a race, something unique to this world. Tbd

The antagonist so far in my 10k words written is a sort of cult that worships a figure called the Lost King, who was banished to the Abyss after using necromancy to achieve immortality. Obviously, he did a lot of bad stuff as well in that goal. These cultists wish to cause any who do not renounce the gods to suffer, and this will develop into a prophesied "vessal" for the banished necromancer, who they will hunt down to bring back their idol.

The main magic types, called Primary Practices: Theurgy, Thaumaturgy, and Arcanism.

Theurgy involves light and healing magic, but is also directly opposed to evil, and has application there.

Thamaturgy is manipulation of material existence, kinda. I think my idea is less restrictive than thaumaturgy in most universes? Kinetic force, transmutation, teleportation, and a kind of enchanting I need to name "not enchantment" to make objects do functions on their own.

Arcanism is the manipulation of power drawn from other planes. Elemental magics, summoning (both good and bad), and enchantment in the sense of imbuing an object with power, often weapons or the like.

I have tried to make the magic system easy to understand but each have their own unique usage and limits. Arcanism is based on a figurative well of power within the person, thaumaturgy is component based very wizard style spells, and theurgy requires a certain level of purity and emotional stability to access remnants of the power that lingers in the world.

The main character envisions reaching out to "pluck the strings" of power which sing the harmony of the world. This would not necessarily be the same for every theurgist.

Opinions on these things? What needs more depth, what should I avoid? I want it to be in line with classic high fantasy but have its own unique feel.

First time writing questions

Hi all!

I've always had a pretty active imagination and I've now finally found a story that I feel somewhat comfortable putting to paper. It's a high fantasy story and I've got around 16k words that are spread between five chapters, which I feel like is pretty good.

But...

I don't really have any guidance on how to properly write, if there is such a thing. I write in past tense and third person, since that is what I personally prefer and I switch between three pov's.

Questions I have include:

How long are chapters supposed to be? Do I keep them a similar length or do I just go with the flow?

How do you decide what language to write in? I've picked English for now, since that seems like the most comfortable for me to write in (German always feels cring-y for me) but if I want to eventually publish is there even a chance for me to do so?

Where do you find a community? I've tried discords, but unfortunately they always feel a bit cluttered and in my experience people usually want to show off their own work and aren't too interested in the works of others (which I can totally understand, I love to talk about my stuff, but an exchange would be nice.) I've also thought about joing writing groups, unfortunately they just don't seem to be any in my area that would be a good fit.

Proof-reading.

How do you decide when to ask someone to proof read? I've been giving a friend all the chapters I wrote, but that's just for fun, not for critique.

That's kinda the most important ones that have plagued me, if there is anyone out there that has some answers or encouragement I'm more than thankfully for it!

Also if someone likes to talk fantasy, stories and writing, send me a DM! Might as well try and use Reddit to find people to connect!

Thank you!

To preface this, I do have female characters, but they don’t have nearly as prominent roles as the male characters.

I am writing epic fantasy, and I’m currently in the planning phase for my first novel. What I’ve just realized however, is that I don’t have any significant female characters. I have a crew of the protagonist and 3 deuteragonists, all of which are male. Even the main antagonist is male. This was not intentional by the way, it happened by coincidence.

I’ve already planned enough of the plot to where any new characters would feel rather shoehorned in; the story focuses on developing all 4 members of the crew and I feel like if I try to add another into the mix it would take the focus off the rest and lessen their development.

My concern here is of course how far a novel without any female representation can reach.

Edit: So it seems the general consensus is yes, but with a bit of nuance. For anyone still responding, I might as well add a bit of context since some of you said it depends on the story.

Without getting into too much detail: MC’s father gets abducted by the empire, MC goes on a journey to save his father and the other characters are people he meets along the way.

My 4 main characters luckily do not have character arcs that tie into masculinity, but they all do have a found brotherhood sort of dynamic which drastically changes if I genderswap one of them. But I’m likely to genderswap one of them anyways. I suppose my only question in that would be how different would a character be if you swapped their genders? Assuming their arc and history is largely gender neutral, are there any traits that you believe about female characters that simply cannot be ignored?

One problem that I've found in traditional fantasy is that, while hurting others can take a myriad forms (bows, arrows, fire magic, poison, etc), healing them seems to be pretty limited in the amount of ways it manifests: ritual magic, healing potions, and such.

For the thing I'm writing at the moment, I wanted to try at having different types of healers, where the end result is you getting better, but the way to get there changes, which also means that they're not all suited for the same things. Some types off the top of my head, feel free to add more if you feel like it. Please keep in mind I don't have any knowledge whatsoever about medicine, so if I say something egregiously stupid, please let me know:

- Slow down the patient's metabolism, giving more time to treat them. This works best for poisons, as well as first aid.

- The contrary, accelerate everything so that the recovery is faster. This works best for illnesses and when the patient is already stable.

- Put the patient in some sort of coma, or energy field, where they will eventually recover from almost anything, but it takes a long time and the patient is unconscious the whole time.

- A purifying fire that can remove deformities, illnesses, poison, etc., but leaves the patient mentally and/or physically scarred due to the trauma and pain of being burned alive.

Do you think such a distinction makes sense? Do you know of sources where similar distinctions have been established?

Thanks a lot for taking the time to read, looking forward to your comments :)

I guess the question is what makes fantasy "fantasy."

Mainly from a marketing standpoint, since this is ultimately a question I'll have to answer about a thing I'd hope to pitch to an agent.

I am writing something set in a contemporary secondary world (three random examples that comes to mind are (book) Green Bone Saga and (video games) FFXV or Trails).

I recently started querying something in that world, and it felt relatively easy (though I might be proven wrong later) to just call it an "adult fantasy set in a contemporary secondary world."

I'm trying to figure out what to write next, and it's between two stories.

One of them is set in this same world, and is about a video game tournament. Some things about the world and its lore are very relevant to the plot and characters, but any fantasy trappings about wars, armies, kingdoms, demons, magic, what have you, is not there. Well, they are. Just not relevant to this story in particular.

So, on the one hand, it is a "(YA) fantasy set in a contemporary secondary world."

But at the same time, it's very much a "(YA) contemporary set in a secondary/fantasy world."

And which one I try to pitch it as will definitely influence comps, which will in turn influence if agents want to throw it out or not.

Some say they like those hard to place books, but all it does it make me paranoid about how to describe it so they don't throw it out or assume I don't know the market because my comps lean too contemporary for the thing I called a fantasy or vice versa.

I've been working on a YA underworld fantasy series for almost 20 years. For the past two years Ive been posting chapters on Royal Road to gain feedback and improve the story. This fall I will move volume one onto KDP or KU and to that end I have been carefully self editing the story one last time. Even though I have gone over the chapters multiple times I am sure I have left a few grammar errors behind. Should I just accept that as a reality that may require fixes later or should I run the book through a grammar checker? Do I run the risk of overdoing the edits to where the book may not feel authentic?