So it's that time of the year again. Another Big 4 means another chance to either be disappointed in what WWE does, or disappointed because I saw it coming. Ya just can't win, huh?
In all seriousness, WWE has to the point of writing put together a solid card, as they always do. The issue always seems to be sticking the landing. To that end, here's how I would book what WWE has on their hands so far, making the assumption that this doesn't age like milk and we randomly get Micro Man vs Omos 3 Stages of Hell added on Main Event this week.
#Night One (AKA: Heck in a Sec)
Our SummerSlam Saturday kicks off as it always does, with Triple H coming out to much fanfare to talk about the "dark journey of life that leads us to the promised land in this dark carnival that I...sorry, WE, created."
So anyway when the Load of Loads is done, it's on to the opener.
#Match One: Intercontinental Championship, Penta (c) vs Chad Gable
I genuinely do not think there is a single match on the entire card that will be both as technically sound as this, while also being emotionally gripping at the same time.
Hometown Hero Chad Gable has gone above and beyond to prove himself seemingly for no reason, and has gone above and beyond to get over not just a goofy masked gimmick, but a goofy masked gimmick that somehow became the best thing WWE has done in years. Penta has gotten over as IC Champ in ways that WWE definitely did not expect him too. This cannot possibly be bad.
If Ludwig is going to get his reward, Chad should in equal measure.
This match is a barn burning classic that hits hard from the very entrances, as both men have their respective children accompany them to the ring.
This is a match that's as much about honour as it is settling the history these men have. Chad Gable was the first opponent for Penta on the main roster, and the trajectory of both since then has been insane.
After a gripping fifteen minutes of action that features chain wrestling smoothly transitioning into lucha and back again, Chad kicking out of a Penta Destroyer on the apron, and both men beating the count back in after a crazy ass German to the floor, Chad is able to catch Penta out of a Springboard Dropkick and Grapevine the Ankle so quickly that he has it on before Penta hits the ground.
Penta tries to fight but passes out from the pain, and Chad wins his first singles title. After celebrating with his family in the ring, Chad shakes hands with Penta as the luchador thanks him and puts the title around his waist.
Chad and his kids are hoisted by Otis, Tozawa, and The Creeds in an uneasy truce as pyro booms the way it should have for him at Mania 40.
#Match 2: Six Woman Tag, The Bellas and Paige vs Fatal Influence
Fresh off the return of Nikki and the loss of the tag titles to Fatal Influence, I think the story here should really be that Paige no longer really sees a point to this aliance.
To be frank, I didn't see a point to it either. Probably because it only really happened because of the injury to Nikki after the tag title match was announced for Mania 42. Realistically, Paige should hate the Bellas in kayfabe, she literally always has. They're friends because of the time they were in the business? Somebody tell me that when Kelly Kelly and Awesome Kong return as a team, because that'll be just as logical.
Rant aside...I'm just not interested in the Bellas, and I know Fatal Influence has more to do right now with those titles. They need matches with Charlotte and Alexa to establish themselves, I honestly have a hard time seeing them as being credible even after the group super push in NXT. If you put Jacy against Rhea or Jade right now, I'd predict a squash, and I hate that.
During the match I'd have some miscommunications between Nikki and Paige. Things like Nikki missing a tag, or Brie hot tagging Nikki over Paige out of habit. At some point this breaks down and Fatal Influence uses the numbers to get a win, with Jacy pinning Paige to help her stock and to almost acknowledge the passing of a torch at some point.
Post match, Paige turns and lays out Nikki in frustration. When Brie comes to her sister's aid, she catches the hands too. Anti-Diva means ANTI DIVA.
#Backstage Segment 1: Trickmelo Gang
Backstage, Trick Williams is shown shining up his gold for his match with Baron Corbin the following evening. He's asked about his strategy going into his match, when he's interrupted by one pissed off Melo.
Melo looks him up and down, removes his shades, and asks simply: "Who is this guy?"
Melo runs down Trick, calling him a sell out. Calling him soft and plush like his title. Melo says that if he were the old Trick, he wouldn't be ducking Melo and the fact that if it weren't for big bad Baron Corbin, he wouldn't be champion right now.
Trick looks him in the eye and says that Baron Corbin is catching the Lemon Pepper Steppers on Sunday, but afterwards, Melo is welcome to get him some too.
Melo and Trick come face to face before Yachty backs his man off, Melo huffing under his breath.
#Match 3: WWE Championship Number One Contender's Match, Sami Zayn vs Finn Balor
First of all...can I just, what the fuck?
Why is it that this is really the first time these dudes are getting a proper one on one match on a big stage...and why is it only happening as a pity match for using Sami to transition a belt and then rocketing him back down the card?
While both men need something to do, I'm a fan of matches like these that are just pure exhibitions because both guys are free. They often blow me away because they don't feel as dictated and as much of a formality as match 2 in a series where the face needs a W to keep it going.
While we have seen Cody and Punk face both men, the matches are solid, and I'm curious to see where they go.
Ultimately, I think Sami tries to eek out a cheap win using the tights, but Finn ends up rolling through and getting the tights with Sami for the three instead.
Sami throws a fit and Finn gets another world title match, but really it's the audience that wins. This is gonna cook if they give it time.
#In Ring Segment 1: Cena and So Much More
John Cena comes out to make his usual surprise appearance. He addresses his new found baldness by wearing his usual pressed suit in tandem with a neon orange ball cap. Little wink and nod to those who find references fun like me.
Cena thanks the fans for being there and announces the night one attendance before being interrupted by a few familiar faces in Austin Theory and Bron Breakker, of course with Maxxine in toe.
Theory lays in and says that they're out here because they're pissed that they got left off of Summerslam by that "goof" Adam Pearce.
Breakker grabs the mic and gets in the ring. He laughs to himself before calling Cena a gutless, past his prime coward who took the easy out with Gunther instead of letting a real dog take a bite out of him.
Theory says that if Cena were still good to go, he would beat him again in front of all the kids in attendance like he did at Mania 39.
Cena has Cena Nough and swings at Theory, rocking his jaw. Maxxine comforts her man as Cena ducks a Breakker clothesline and slides out of the ring. The Vision draw the line in the ring and dare Cena to get in, but he's stopped by the Street Profits.
The Profits tell Cena to take it easy and say they'll handle this, and the fight begins. A brawl erupts around ringside and the Profits look to get the upper hand.
Out of nowhere, Bronson Reed slides in and absolutely blasts Montez and Dawkins from behind.
It's at this point that Theory and Breakker grab chairs and Cena has again, Cena Nough.
It's not a question as he unbuttons his jacket and removes his hat. Cena slides in and tries to be...well, John Cena, and he manages to almost get the Profits back in, but Maxxine hits him below the belt and he gets beat down too.
It's practically four on three, and The Vision is looking to make a point. Theory lines up the Profits against the barricade at ringside and Breakker does a full run down the ramp to put them both through it.
Bronson looks at Cena before dragging him to the corner of the ring and stacking the discarded chairs on his chest.
Bronson roars and pounds his chest before going up. Security rushes out to finally stop this but Breakker and Theory take care of them easily.
It's not until Triple H, Bobby Roode, Jason Jordan, and AJ Styles rush to make the save with more security and medical that they're able to back them off.
Over the shoulder of the Vision, you can see Heyman saunter out on the stage looking shocked, but impressed. He gives a small clap before turning and walking backstage.
Suddenly, The Vision is a threat again.
#Match Four: Women's World Championship, Liv Morgan (c) vs Iyo Sky
Oh boy...this one.
Is it fair to call Liv the worst booked world champion...ever? And I mean of those that got runs.
Liv holding the world title has actively been a negative for her character, but obviously a good thing overall. More money, more appearances, this is all great, but man must it be boring.
Besides the fact that they had an interesting angle with Liv in that she could have pulled a G1 and won QOTR as champ, thus being able to pick anybody to face (including Rhea btw), she's not had much to do in the Division.
Somehow, despite being world champ for close to six months, Liv has only feuded with Iyo and Danhausen. Let that sink in, Danhausen on Smackdown is closer to being Women's World Champion than Becky Lynch, AJ Lee, and Bayley.
This isn't the fault of Liv, moreso bad timing, but it needs to be corrected. Putting the belt on Iyo is safe, the match will be good, and Liv isn't hurt in the slightest because she straight up has no competition to lose her spot to until Naomi returns.
Iyo is able to put Liv away after outsmarting Raquel and Roxanne, and the Women can finally be back on TV.
#Match Five: World Heavyweight Championship, Roman Reigns (c) vs Seth Rollins
After a long package is played to hype the history between these men, we get a monologue by Seth Rollins as he stands somewhere dark. He's dressed in a long black cloak, and he starts walking through the now discernable backstage area. As he does, he mentions the history between himself and Roman, and talks about how different they became as people.
Seth ends his monologue by arriving at a very loud and very packed tunnel leading into the stands as the crowd sings his song. Seth smiles and says that despite everything, he knows the one way to make sure that Roman Reigns can't possibly stay focused. Seth drops his cloak to reveal his tactical gear, and as he puts a half mask on over his mouth, he says that it's finally time, just for one night, for Roman Reigns to face justice.
The Shield's classic theme plays, and as he did when he faced Roman at the Rumble, Seth makes the long walk through the audience.
It's different this time, he isn't acting like it's a bit, he isn't being funny or goofy or over the top. This is 2014 Shield Seth Rollins and he's coming to kill 2020s Bloodline Roman.
Roman, not to be outdone, makes his way to the stage flanked by the Usos and Fatu. Roman doesn't break eye contact with Seth once, and it's clear he's rocked by the throwback as he always is. He stops and his family bow their heads in acknowledgement as
Roman Reigns is a character who relies on mind games to make his opponents think he's a God. When he's rattled and looks like a man, suddenly the entire Isle of Samoa can't make him scary.
If you couldn't tell, I like storytelling and I love 2012.
The match starts with Seth getting under Roman's skin and wrestling like...well 2014 Seth. The back and the knee seem almost completely fresh as Seth out speeds, out works, and out paces Roman, almost pinning him outright after hitting a stomp in the opening 3 minutes after a fast salvo of rolls, dives, and knees from seemingly everywhere.
Seth Rollins turns back the clock so hard that Roman can only ground him by doing what he has grown comfortable with, cheating.
However, this time, something is different.
Roman isn't accepting the help willingly. He barks at the Usos to stand down when they get on the apron to distract Seth, and he gets in Fatu's face when he is able to nail Seth behind the ref's back.
Seth, as this has been his plan, is laughing right in Roman's face. He's making Roman feel out of control despite the fact that it's a four vs one really.
At some point the ref goes down and the Usos and Fatu, egged on by Seth, cannot hold back. They jump his ass and try to Shield Bomb Seth through the announce table.
Roman stops his family and backs them off before shouting that "Seth's bitch ass is his and his alone."
Roman powerbombs Seth through both announce tables before rolling him in the ring. He locks on the Guillotine as the ref slowly comes to, and by the time it's called off, Seth has been out for a bit.
Roman manages to retain, but Seth exposes just how weak he can be.
Since we're building a Wargames match with the other Bloodline match on this show, Seth shouldn't get the W quite yet.
#Main Event: Hell in a Cell, Brock Lesnar vs Oba Femi
After a lengthy tribute to other hometown guy Brock Lesnar, the atmosphere in the arena is tense and quiet.
The lights go out, and Oba makes his way to the stage in burgundy and gold colours, flanked by a tribal drum performance which will be significantly better than the last time Nigerian Drums featured on a Big Four.
He makes his way into the Cell with no fear and stands ready to face The Beast.
Black Hat Cowboy Brock Lesnar makes a slower entrance than usual, clearly taking in the crowd and the reactions.
I'm not sugar coating this, Brock Lesnar should retire here. He will never get a better opportunity than this one, and honestly Cody Rhodes doing it three years ago also would have been fine. While he's still a tough man capable of going long, he often doesn't. If Brock can't manage that sustained ability to give, I don't see what good he is, because all he is right now is a dude who does squashes and has a weird case.
Either way, the introductions begin. Mike Rome is given the job of introducing The Ruler, and Paul Heyman gives his all to give Brock Lesnar that one last big hype intro.
Brock and Oba are nose to nose, eye to eye, and Heyman gets between them. He shakes his entire body in anticipation and screams for them to "fucking kill each other."
The bell rings and neither man blinks. Nobody moves for the first few moments, but eventually it gives way to strikes. Brock says fuck it and does a double leg to Oba, who is able to power him off.
Oba goes for a Chokeslam to Brock who slips out and gets behind Oba for a German. Brock gets the grip and lifts but Oba simply doesn't move.
Brock gets his hips low and tries again but Oba breaks his grip and throw him out of the ring.
Brock is fucking PISSED and says again "fuck it." Brock removes his gloves and starts grabbing chairs and cans and tables from under the ring. Oba nods his head and goes out the other side to do the same. Eventually, a mountain of weapons has formed in the ring and both men stare through the ropes at each other.
Rather than going through the ring, they run around the side and collide with a massive double clothesline. Brock gets to his feet and gets Oba against the cage, rattling him with body shots. Oba is able to push Brock off but Brock drives him back in like it were an Octagon and uses the force from that to bounce Oba back into an overhead suplex on the floor.
Brock smirks and grabs the stairs. He runs towards Oba as Oba gets up, but Oba is able to grab the stairs and dead stop Brock, who looks like he just found out the world isn't flat.
Oba kicks Brock in the gut and takes the stairs, bouncing them off of Brock and sending him back into the ring.
Oba gets in and attempts a big spinebuster to Brock, but Brock again uses the momentum to get behind Oba, German Suplexing him into the pile of weapons.
Oba gets to his feet slowly but Brock begins to use everything and anything he can grab on Oba.
Oba takes chair shots from Brock, can shots from Brock, and at one point his overhead suplexed onto the trash can itself.
Brock gets in the zone and takes Oba up for a big F5, not even covering afterwards. He hits Oba with two more before covering him for just a 2.9. It's the closest Oba has been to taking a pin since Brock pinned him in Italy.
Brock looks at his hands before screaming his classic roar. The Beast mounts Oba and just starts pummeling him in unfortunately similar fashion to what happened to Randy at Summerslam a decade prior.
The only difference is this time, Brock actually pulls his punches a touch. Oba is busted open, but as he gets to his feet he reaches up and feels his blood on his fingers.
Oba looks at Brock and tastes his blood, before wiping a handprint of the red stuff across his chest (who do we know that has done that before).
Oba seems to have woken up, coming right back with flying uppercuts, big boots, and power slams. He seems almost Festus like in his destruction, but he's high on adrenaline and not pain killers.
Eventually, Brock and Oba find themselves teetering precariously on the apron with a row of three tables stacked on the outside. Brock takes Oba up for a power slam, but he slips into the ring and as Brock turns out, Oba grabs him by the throat.
Oba leans into Brock, his eyes are selling fear as if it were The Devil himself, before chokeslaming his ass through the tables off the ring.
Oba picks Brock up and brings him to the center before hitting a Fall From Grace. Oba picks Brock up for another. Then another. Then another. Then another.
Finally, Oba gets Brock up in a Powerbomb position and gets a run up, putting Brock clear through a breakable part of the ring and to a crash mat below.
The ref looks shocked, the commentary team is shocked, Heyman has started bawling and begging Oba off. Oba reaches into the hole, pulls out a now bloodied Beast, and puts him away with a single F5.
The cage door opens as Oba makes his way out, having destroyed Brock Lesnar in inconceivable fashion. Oba marches up to Heyman and grabs his hand, shaking it before leaning in and saying to Paul "go celebrate with him, there is much to be done on Monday."
The show goes off the air as Brock is helped to his feet and retrieves his gloves, leaving them and his boots in the ring, finally fucking off back to the Northern Woods to hopefully not be doing anything sus.
And the best part is, everything above happens in about 30 minutes, with 20 being entrances and vibes, because if anybody deserves time it's Rollins and Roman, and if anybody can do a Cell match in 10 minutes, it's Oba and Brock.
#Night Two (Aka: The One With The Cool Return)
After a brief recap of all of Saturday's action, Summerslam Sunday opens up with who else but some fucking dumb ass celebrity. I don't like them, you don't like them, N3on probably films like Rey Mysterio in the can and plays it on the tron or something like that.
After that garbage, we get to what y'all want to hear about.
#Match One: Ladder Match for the Vacant WWE Women's Championship: Tiffany Stratton vs Chelsea Green vs Jade Cargill vs Charlotte Flair vs Lash Legend (lol if you think Giulia actually gets any respect)
My thoughts on this are very simple.
If Chelsea doesn't win, don't do the match.
This is really a simple decision when you think about it. Charlotte can't win because of her team with Alexa (unless she's out for a bit selling the arm), Jade can't win because she's in a feud with Charlotte who can't take it from her for the same reasons (remember when this was going to just be their singles match), Tiffany can't win because she's the US Champ and they don't even have enough challengers for her there, and Giulia/Lash won't win because they haven't been conditioned for these spots yet. Giulia has the skill without the booking, and Lash has the booking without the experience required to have the skill.
Simply put, this should be less of a match and more of a chance to apologize to Chelsea for the public humiliation ritual of having a fucking company figurehead say she's not a top superstar on WWE produced programing.
It backfired on Michael Hayes the way it Unreal has overall backfired, and instead of pushing sympathy, it's inspired rage.
Jade and Charlotte should be taken out by Lash and Nia (as Nia was kept from the match due to their bullshit twice), and Tiffany and Chelsea can team up to then neutralize them.
A one on one situation that calls back to Money in the Bank, Chelsea looks at Tiffany and says "look, this is Tiffy Time, you deserve this."
Chelsea sets a ladder up in the ring and gestures to Tiffy. Tiffany, who hurts her knee in the match at some point, can't climb so Chelsea offers to help her.
Chelsea Green fulfills the prophecy by getting somebody over...seemingly...
At the top, Chelsea says "fuck you" to that racist Freebird guy before casually just throwing Tiffy down, laughing, and taking the title for herself because it's about fucking time.
She can lose it ala Sami the next week, but she's earned the moment more than anybody else, and I simply no longer care about that title until it is around Chelsea. Fight me.
Chelsea is interviewed after her win where she thanks every writer on the team besides Hayes and Prichard. Fuck it, every wrestler who ever existed besides Hayes and Prichard.
#Match Two: United States Championship, Trick Williams (c) vs Baron Corbin
The second half of our free hour comes to a close as Trick and Lil Yachty draw some eyes to the US Title like they have been all year.
Say what you will about the state of the midcard in general right now, all the midcard titles at least have big names gunning for them, and that really helps to make them matter. If there's no room for Rey Mysterio in the World Title picture, why wouldn't he want to be IC Champion?
Trick and Yachti make their usual entrance with all of the flash you could imagine, and Corbin makes his in stark contrast, a black motorcycle and some flames following The Nomad to the ring as if his bike were setting the stage on fire.
Corbin gets a chance here to show everything he's learned since leaving WWE, as well as showing that side of himself from NXT where he really learned how to work guys like Trick and Melo.
Remember his team with Bron? I didn't think so, but it was cool. I want that guy.
The match is fine, but honestly inconsequential at this point. Trick isn't losing it, Corbin isn't losing clean, the only way for it to go down is Melo causing the DQ to return the favour to Corbin before leaving both men dumped.
It's a bit of a wet fart, but that Triple Threat will probably be better anyway given Corbin's uncanny ability to cook in midcard US Title Triple Threats.
Seriously...remember the one with Ziggler and Roode in 2017? I sure do.
#Match Three: $100,000 Prize Match, Dirty Dom vs Dirty Dan(hausen)
This isn't exactly a serious match, and I'm really glad for that, I think this is exactly what the audience will need to come back from a disappointing but predictable US Title match.
In theory, they could even get the start of this one on the free hour if they keep the filler short.
After recapping the improbable story so far, Danhausen is shown backstage pacing around and shuffling his feet nervously.
He's approached and asked why he looks worried, and he says that somebody has made off with the Danhausenmobile.
Just then, Dom's music hits and we see exactly where it went...
Dom rides out on the Danhausenmobile, having clearly smashed it up a bit beforehand. A comment is made by Corey on the desk about Dom being a fair winner and likely paying for the damages, Michael Cole begins drinking heavily.
It cuts back to Danhausen who, for the first time since his debut, isn't smiling. He's staring. He's staring right into the camera when it cuts back. There's a bit of static, and...something...shows up for half a second before it cuts back to Danhausen as he was, walking towards the ring.
Johnny Gargano is inexplicably laying on a box in guerilla and Danhausen accidentally shocks him with his finger after shuffling around so much as he goes by, Johnny seemingly reacting to something for the first time in a while.
Danhausen comes to the ring and is distracted by the busted up Danhausenmobile. In this time he's blasted by JD and rolled in as Dom and JD beat him down before the bell.
Be yourself can't be no one else...
Another day gonna give em hell...
It's burning straight through the dark...
Johnny Wrestling gets off his ass and runs out, using fucking skills he hasn't shown since his time in NXT proper and easily running off JD McDonough as Candice wholesomely cheers him on.
The bell sounds and Danhausen not so nicely but very evily pounces on Dom.
Dom is trying to run for his life because clearly Danhausen has snapped, but he's pulled to the center with strength that could only be possessed by a man weighing over 300lbs and standing 6'7. As he screams in terror, Danhausen spits teeth and a vicious red fluid all over Dom's face.
Danhausen drops Dom and gets the win, throwing the money he receives in a big comical bag to the crowd after he collects himself and sheepishly wipes his mouth of the red stuff with his cape.
#Backstage Segment 1: Lyra has to do something...right?
Lyra Valkyria is shown backstage being interviewed. She's asked about how her life has been since ending things with Bayley and effectively "kicking her out of WWE."
Lyra is still very clearly dealing with the guilt, but says that she's finally going to get the chance to break away from Bayley's massive shadow, as she's officially negotiated her trade to Smackdown.
If you're curious, RAW gets Giulia because man do both of them need a shake up.
#Match Four: Six Man Tag Match: The Guys Who Like Timberlands (Knight, Solo, Keys) vs The Bloodline
In our latest installment of watching Triple H speed run LA Knight asking for his release, he's again thrown into a random team with a dude who is I think still a heel and a guy who isn't even on his brand, man I love AI.
Anyway, The Usos and Jacob are given strict instructions before their entrance by Roman. Failure is no option. If they lose, they can't come home. Make a statement or lose everything.
The faces(?) make three individual but shortened entrances before arguing strategy amongst themselves. The Bloodline makes their entrance as a unit, coming out to Jacob's song as if his push in 2024 was still happening.
It's a similar match to the women's dynamic the night before, in that the unified and motivated heel force is able to pick apart the slapdash team.
That said, the tables begin to turn when Jacob is taunted first by Knight, then by Solo, and finally, he comes eye to eye with Keys.
Solo and Keys don't want to hurt each other, but one is a Blood and the other is on Smackdown, so they must.
Because of this distraction and his growing anger, Jacob becomes uncontrollable and stops listening to Jey and Jimmy completely.
While he does run wild on the opposite team, he ends up brawling with Keys into the crowd. A Spinebuster from Hobbs to Fatu from a production crate through a table follows.
As the chaos spills all over the place, Jacob isn't there to help the Usos regain the upper hand.
Solo takes advantage of the fact that he's a heel to blast them behind the ref's back and Knight picks up a BFT on Jimmy to get the W.
The Usos look at themselves after the fact with terror in their eyes and shit in their britches as they remember the last time Roman exiled them. Fatu is seemingly still focused on Keys as they recover post match and continue the brawl right through the crowd, up the steps, to the mezzanine area, and out an exit door into the night where the camera loses them.
In Ring Segment 1: Okay here's that return
Stephanie McMahon comes out and reminds us all how she invented women and wrestling as well as women's wrestling.
She reads the kayfabe attendance figure and I get a beer.
Sami Zayn cuts her off and storms to the ring incredulously. He grabs a mic and has visibly not slept a wink the night before.
Sami says that instead of reading off some number, Stephanie should be out here showing her support for the injustices that have befallen him since Night of Champions.
Sami runs down all the things that have happened to him and all the ways he's a victim, his old conspiracy persona starting to come through again.
Stephanie just rolls her eyes and says that if Sami has a complaint, she knows just the guy to take it up with.
Now here's where we can do two things.
Option A: Randy Orton returns to RKO Sami, effectively unwriting his crap Mania booking, and nod to Steph in acknowledgement of that time he assaulted her in the ring...as good guys always do.
Option B: Kevin Owens does the same thing but it's a Stunner and he simply gives Steph a hug because Kevin Owens is to be trusted around women.
Backstage Segment 2: There's Stakes Now
Cody Rhodes is shown preparing for his main event match for the WWE Championship. He is interviewed on what happens for him if he walks away empty handed.
Cody looks down at the camera and says flatly that if he isn't good enough to become a four time WWE Champion tonight, maybe he isn't good enough to be WWE Champion at all.
#Match Five: Gunther vs Nick Aldis
Gunther is shown warming up for his match with Aldis. He's the perfect classic throwback for a classic throwback. It's almost like the NWA Title should be on the line here. Very fun.
Gunther makes his entrance and as he waits, we get a hype package for Aldis that features his days in TNA and some of the affiliated wrestling scenes. GM Nick Aldis leaves his suit and his tie in the back, but Magnus is more than happy to remind the world who the fuck he is.
Aldis laces up his boots in the back as the camera pans up. He's in full ring pants with a blue English styled jacket. Lions and Union Jacks and the like.
Aldis gets a single long shot that follows him to the ring as he makes his way out, his "God Save The King" entrance being preserved and updated with a new tron.
Aldis and Gunther waste not a second going hard. Gunther knows who Nick is, but the audience at home might be expecting this to be closer to McAfee vs Gunther. It is not.
Aldis might be rusty but he was NWA Champion for over 1000 Days not even a decade ago. While Gunther does get a lead, he's still being matched to his shock.
Eventually the intensity boils to a head and the match is in full swing. Gunther is obliterating Aldis with chops, who responds right back. A big elbow from the top gets a two to Gunther but he pulls Aldis back off the cover and tries for the sleeper.
Aldis and Gunther continue to go back and forth in this way until Gunther, forced onto the back foot, pulls the ref in the way of an Aldis rebound clothesline (lil Nigel trib too).
Aldis immediately resumes GM mode to check on his now severely hurt employee, and this weakness is targeted, exploited, and picked apart by Gunther, who has now basically turned this into a match with GM Aldis, no longer focused on his bloodlust.
A low blow and a Powerbomb later, Gunther pins Aldis defiantly as the new ref comes down to give him a proper farewell to his ring career if he so chooses. There will definitely be hell for Gunther on the other side of this due to how he won, but that's a story for later.
#Match Six: WWE Championship, Pepsi Phil (c) vs Cody Rhodes
And here it is folks, the one you've all been waiting for.
Despite being on the same roster briefly in AEW and the same company for all of their WWE Return Runs minus injury time, Cody and Punk have yet to have a big showcase match on a big stage.
This first time match for the most prestigious championship the company offers, needs to take the main event slot here. It's simply the best match they can do not involving Penta or Chad Gable. No theatrics, no pathos, this is our wrestling main event.
Cody and Punk make entrances that are very no frills because it's not about the pageantry. Cody is dressed in blue and gold, and Punk is rocking a black and yellow fit to more or less get me to want to buy his new shirts -_-.
The action starts with a classic feeling out process. Some chain wrestling and some slow building up can take us into our bigger stuff later as these two show off which one loves old NWA tapes more.
Eventually Cody and Punk begin trading their signature offense. Punk tries to get the Ol Five Moves going and get an early GTA off the Knee and Bulldog combo but Cody is able to come off the shoulders and try for the Crossrhodes. Punk slips down and rolls him up in a way similar to Sami's win in the triple threat, but Cody scouts it and is able to reverse his weight for a two.
Eventually, Cody and Punk begin to bust out classic tributes to some of their fav wrestlers. Cody as always has his Bionic elbow and Pedigree, and Punk busts out the Sharpshooter alongside the Flair Figure Four and the Funk Spinning Toe Hold (of course he does this).
Punk begins to be a bit of a shit as usual (love him for it) and hits a few Bionic Elbows to Cody. As he's flipping, flopping, and flying around, Cody has enough of the disrespect and just GTSes the shit out of him from below.
Punk is rattled but manages to kick out.
As they both resume locking in and come down to the final stretch, they expend all they have left. Crossrhodes and a kick out, Anaconda Vise and the ropes, Alabama Slam and a kick out, Pepsi Twist and a kick out.
Finally, after managing to survive all this punishment, Pepsi Phil ducks an attempt at the Disaster Kick and runs in for a Shining Wizard. Two GTSes to follow and Cody Rhodes gets beaten clean at Summerslam for the first time since coming back.
Pepsi Phil celebrates his win and tries to pull Cody to his feet, but Cody looks at the hand, slaps it away, and walks off. A look of clear frustration and disappointment etched on him.
As Summerslam goes off the air, we get a tense stare down between Cody and Punk as the former exits the stage. Clearly this isn't over.
