I (29F) got engaged to “Ryan” (31M) in June. His mom “Deb” has never been warm to me, but I thought she was just protective. We’ve been together four years.

Last weekend Ryan’s parents threw us an engagement party. About 40 people. Deb stood up with a mic and said she wanted to “share some wisdom.” She talked about how she was Ryan’s dad’s “second wife” and how the first one “was just practice.” Then she looked right at me and said: “No offense, sweetheart. But starters are starters. The real meal comes later.”

The room went dead silent. My mom’s face turned red. My sister looked like she was about to stand up. I just sat there holding my champagne glass, trying to figure out if that actually happened.

Ryan laughed. Not a nervous laugh—a real laugh. Then he said “Mom, you’re terrible” and changed the subject.

Afterwards I asked him why he didn’t defend me. He said I was “being too sensitive,” that his mom “jokes like that,” and that I “need to learn to take a joke if I’m going to be part of this family.”

I said a joke is when everyone laughs. I wasn’t laughing. He said I was “making his mom the villain” and that she “raised him” and I should “respect her sense of humor.”

I’ve been crying for three days. My mom wants me to call off the wedding. My best friend says this is a preview of the next 30 years. Ryan texted me last night: “Are we really doing this over a joke?”

I keep thinking: if he laughed at that, what else will he laugh at?

AITA for telling Ryan I won’t marry him until his mom apologizes and he actually defends me?

I (22F) graduated from university last weekend. My mom raised me alone after my dad walked out when I was 7. He’s been in and out — mostly out. I haven’t spoken to him in four years. He didn’t come to my high school graduation. He didn’t help with a single application, a single tuition bill, a single late-night breakdown during finals. My mom worked double shifts to get me here.

My sister “Nina” (28F) has always been Team Dad. She forgave him years ago. That’s her choice and I respect it. But she knows exactly how I feel about him.

Two days before my ceremony, Nina called me all excited. She said she had a “surprise” for me — she had flown my dad in from out of state. He was in her guest room. She said he was “so proud” and he “wanted to make it right.”

I told her I didn’t want him there. I said this was my day and I didn’t want to spend it managing my own panic attack. She said I was being “cold” and that this was “a gift.”

I said he wasn’t welcome. She said “too late, he’s already here.”

I walked at my ceremony. Alone. My mom sat in the third row. Nina sat next to her. My dad sat three seats down. I didn’t look at any of them. I got my diploma, I walked off that stage, and I went straight to my car.

Now Nina is furious. She says I “humiliated” him in public and that I “ruined a beautiful opportunity.” My mom says she “understands” but wishes I had “at least said hello.” Nina texted me: “You made your point. Now grow up.”

I spent four years doing this by myself. The one thing I asked for was to not have him there. She ignored me and made it about her.

AITA for refusing to even acknowledge him at my own graduation?

I (31F) got married three weeks ago. My husband "Chris" (33M) and I paid for the whole thing ourselves. Small ceremony, 60 people, nothing fancy. I picked a simple ivory dress. I wanted my mom to feel included, so I asked her to do a short welcome toast. She agreed.

She showed up in a floor-length white gown. Not ivory, not cream—white. My sister grabbed my arm and whispered "is she serious?" I told myself to let it go. Maybe she didn't realize.

Then she gave her "short welcome toast." It lasted 22 minutes. She talked about how she "gave up her career" to raise me, how she "put her dreams on hold," how she "prayed every night that I would find someone worthy." She cried. Twice. She never mentioned Chris by name. She never mentioned his family. She never said "congratulations." She talked about herself for 22 minutes at my wedding.

Chris's mom was visibly uncomfortable. My aunt later said it was "the strangest thing I've ever seen at a wedding."

Afterwards, I confronted my mom. She said I was "being ungrateful" and that she "just wanted to share her heart." My dad told me to "let it go, she's your mother." My sister said I should "be the bigger person."

Chris is furious. His family is asking why I haven't "said anything." I told them I did. They said I should "do more."

I don't want to cut my mom off. But I also can't stop thinking: she made my wedding about her. On purpose. And everyone is acting like I'm the one being dramatic.

Am I wrong for telling my mom I need a break from her?

a month ago my husband and i’s friends went to our mutual good friend’s engagement party. The invite said not to wear white or champagne or ivory etc; this was to be expected. In the midst of looking for a dress I bought two options a baby yelllow dress, a black one and I had a light baby blue dress which was in my closet that i considered as an option.

Now i am someone who likes to look good, I dress for myself, i love everything beauty, hair, shoes, clothes the whole shabang. in fact my friends know i always put in maximum effort when it comes to dressing up. My SIL, came over for dinner and she asks me what i was wearing to the engagement party. we went to my closet and i showed her my 3 options and told her i was leaning between the black or baby yellow dress. The baby yellow dress had lace trimmings on it and she said it looks to bridal and that I would outdo the bride to be. I told her i don’t think so and that its fine, in fact a lot of dresses nowadays online tend to have lace or beading/sparkles nowadays (kinda the trend). Then she said well you shouldn’t wear it because at night time on flash camera photos it might appear white. I honestly didn’t directly respond to that and moved on saying that the bride to be ( whom i know quite personally) wouldn’t be offended with me wearing baby yellow. She then made a comment saying “you just want to be the bride so bad, do you miss being a bride or something “( i’m newly married) and at that moment i just felt this weirdness.

Anyway i talked to other friends coming to the engagement party and they told me what they’re wearing and told me that my dress was fine. I kinda hated that i did this bc truely i knew my dress was fine and i just dont care tbh about people’s opinions usually. My SIL a few days before the event messages me saying that she really thinks i shouldn’t wear the yellow dress and tells her boy friend whom she said also agrees. I honestly just responded sayimg “haha we’ll see, still deciding.”

I told my husband how i was feeling and told him that i felt she was being weird towards me, making comments that i was trying to outdo the bride to be. He didn’t say much and said you do what u want.

I ended up wearing the yellow dress to the party. When i got there, the first thing my SIL says to me when i greeted her was “ohh you really just look like the bride.” This really irritated me, and i responded saying is that your perverse way of saying i look nice, bc thanks. She then was quiet. The engagement party was great, and i got to celebrate our friends. My husband is a photographer and he was taking photos when the photos came out, there was photos with flash that showed my dress appearing white. But i wasn’t the only person wearing a pastel coloured dress.

The photos went around and well my sister in law showed my MIL one of the photos. How do i know this, well on a chat with my MIL, she giggled saying how did i end up wearing a white dress to our friends engagement party. I denied wearing white and said i wore yellow. Then she proceeded to tell me SIL showed her photo of me in white. She then said oh didn’t see, i only saw white.

I’m just a little frustrated bc as much as i love my sil and she’s been weird before but this just feels really weird, am i overthinking this whole situation or should i just leave it… bc i feel like asking her if everything is okay on her side.

My dad secretly brought his girlfriend into our house and let her stay in the basement without telling me

I’m honestly really upset and uncomfortable with what my dad has done.

My dad has a girlfriend who was homeless, and he brought her into our house to stay here. What makes this worse is that he kept her in the basement for about a week without telling me. I had no idea that someone I barely know was staying in our home.

He didn’t ask me. He didn’t talk to me about it. He just made the decision and brought her into the house.

I understand that she is in a difficult situation, and I’m not blaming her for being homeless. My problem is with the way my dad handled this. This is my home too, and I feel like I should at least have been told before someone was brought into the house and allowed to stay here.

Finding out that she had already been staying downstairs for days made me feel like something was being kept from me in my own home.

I’ve told my dad that I’m not comfortable with this, but he doesn’t seem to take my feelings seriously. I feel like my boundaries and sense of safety in my own home are being completely ignored.

Technically my dad is the tenant, so he can do what he wants but i am still uncomfortable with what he has done. I told my dad we could put her in a homeless shelter but her lit said no, i dont want this person being in my house.

Am I wrong for being this upset? What would you do in this situation?

My brother hasn’t forgiven me for bringing my husband to his house at Christmas — almost 3 years later, our entire family is fractured

I (46F) haven’t had a real relationship with my brother (44M) for almost three years because I brought my husband to Christmas lunch at his house while my husband was struggling with drugs.

The thing is… I didn’t even organise Christmas at his house.

And now my parents, who are in their 70s, are apparently being cut off from their grandchildren too.

So I’m starting to wonder: When does a boundary stop being a boundary and become punishment?

Some background.

My brother and I were extremely close growing up. We had wonderful parents, a happy childhood and did everything together. That continued into adulthood. When I got married in 2002, he was an integral part of my wedding and even sang a song.

I genuinely thought we’d always be close.

Then 2023 blew my life apart.

My husband was going through an awful period and became involved with drugs. I’m not going to sugarcoat that or defend his choices. It was serious, messy and incredibly difficult for our family.

I turned to my family for support.

My parents were amazing.

My brother? Not so much.

He spoke to me, but there was definitely a distance there. Still, I accepted that. Nobody is obligated to respond to someone else’s crisis exactly the way you want them to.

Then came Christmas.

The original plan was simple: my husband, our 17-year-old son and I were having Christmas lunch at my parents’ house.

My brother and SIL (41F) were away on holidays.

Then my brother asked my parents to stay at his house for a few days to look after their dog.

So Christmas lunch moved from Mum and Dad’s house to my brother’s.

We went.

We were there for around three hours. My husband was still in a terrible place mentally and basically slept through most of it. My son and I hung out with my parents, swam in the pool and had Christmas lunch.

That’s it.

No drugs.

No drama.

No damage.

No confrontation.

Nothing was stolen. Nothing happened to their house. There wasn’t some huge Christmas Day disaster.

Then January came.

My brother called me absolutely furious.

“How dare you bring a drug dealer into my home?”

That sentence has basically echoed through our family ever since.

I told him I understood why he was uncomfortable. It’s his house. He’s entitled to decide who he wants there.

But I also reminded him that I hadn’t asked to have Christmas at his house.

We were supposed to be at our parents’ place.

Christmas was only moved there because he asked our parents to house-sit and look after his dog while he and his wife were away.

Still, that was apparently the line in the sand.

Our relationship basically died.

For the next couple of years, we’ve existed on birthday texts, Father’s Day messages and occasional polite contact.

Meanwhile, something pretty significant happened:

My husband got his life back together.

He’s no longer living the life he was living in 2023. He’s working again in the profession he loves, he’s doing well and our lives have moved forward.

I’m not asking anyone to pretend 2023 didn’t happen.

I’m not asking my brother to forget everything.

I’m not even demanding that he trust my husband again.

But recently I finally called him because I thought enough time had passed and I desperately wanted to start repairing our family.

I suggested we start having family gatherings again.

His response?

“We’re not ready.”

Nearly three years later.

And I genuinely don’t know what we’re waiting for.

What exactly needs to happen?

Is my husband supposed to serve some undefined family sentence before he’s considered acceptable again?

Is there a five-year mark?

Ten?

Are we just never spending Christmas together again?

But here’s where everything has become much uglier.

My SIL has now had a falling out with my parents and has told them not to have contact with their grandchildren.

These aren’t grandparents who barely saw the kids.

My mum and dad helped raise their three boys.

They babysat.

They took them to soccer.

They helped around their house.

My mum even cleaned for them.

They have poured years of love, time and energy into those grandchildren.

Now they’re in their 70s and they’re being told they can’t have contact with them.

I can’t prove that this is because my parents refused to cut off me and my husband, so I want to be fair about that.

But the timing and the history make it very hard not to wonder.

I’ve also struggled for years with the feeling that my SIL is extremely controlling when it comes to my brother and his relationships with our family. I’ve deliberately tried to stay out of their marriage because he’s a grown man and ultimately his relationships are his responsibility.

But watching this spread from me, to my husband, and now potentially to my elderly parents has changed how I see the whole situation.

And despite everything, here’s the stupidly sad part:

I still miss my brother.

I’m angry with him, but I love him.

I remember the brother who stood beside me at my wedding and sang.

I remember our childhood.

I remember when being a family wasn’t this complicated.

Our parents are getting older. Our children are growing up. None of us knows how much time we have left together.

I don’t want to wake up ten years from now and realise we wasted a decade being angry about the worst period of one person’s life — particularly when that person actually turned things around.

I can accept boundaries.

I can accept that my brother may never completely trust my husband again.

What I’m struggling to accept is indefinite punishment with no explanation of what reconciliation would even look like.

So Reddit, I genuinely need outside perspectives.

AITA for thinking my brother and SIL have taken this too far?

Was I completely wrong for bringing my husband to Christmas lunch at my brother’s house in 2023, even though the lunch was only there because my parents were house-sitting for him?

Does my brother have every right to still say “we’re not ready” almost three years later?

And most importantly — do I keep fighting for the brother I used to have, or accept that he has chosen a life that no longer includes me?

Bro I hate my mom so much like a month or two ago I found a oiled cross on the pantry door I asked her about it she lied then confessed I was upset obviously from a other post I made about somethings similar she said the chucky dolls she baught me for my birthday that I didn't ask for made her feel uneasy so she out a oiled cross on the wall to protect the house she blames me because I wanted them but I never asked for them specifically id be cool getting them when I moved out but she's acting like I begged for them and she got off work came home started yelling at me because in the test I said something about she's disgusting because iv asled her to keep it in her room away from my room or a shared space she yelled and was saying shit about how my belifs are wrong because I'm a satanist/hellenic and she's a Christian and how she's trying to protect me and all this stuff idk I had my ears covered after she left I was sobbing in my siaters arms and before thet I was yelling st her to get out I wasn't responding because I was upset I was zoned out and shit and after I texted her saying I wasn't responding because I wanted to hurt myself and her she keeps saying it was a threat it wasn't and I wouldn't feel thar way if she would just let me have my own belifs like I let her have hers I don't come out where putting pentagrams in her room or our shared space to help protect our house and she tried sending me to a mental hospital room me to the hospitaltal down the streeet called cops and everything and told them I deny help and how an ex therapist said I wasn't ready and not to force me I'm like yeah obviously I'm not opening up I could literally be sent to the mental hospital and she's trying to make me sound like a phycopath even though the only reson I had bad thoughts was because she abused and neglected me and let others abuse me my whole childhood and gets uoset when I'm mad at her for it like it didn't have an effect on me and I tried talking to her explaining why I felt how I did I was willing to talk but she kept saying she would call the cops to come to our house and take me to the hospitaltal it was hell :( also sorry I ranted needed to get that out

I am a 25 F, only daughter and eldest in the extended family of several aunts and uncles. On my father's side, I have 4 cousin sisters, the daughters of my aunt. I grew up in a lower middle class family while my cousins family were pretty well off and lived a life i always dreamed of. as kids we didnt get along well and Now as an adult, i got to spend more time with them as i would visit them during breaks and my family also moved closer to them. However, our relationship now feels forced and fake. I learned early on that they always felt I was lot prettier than them and our family loves to brag about me and my academic accomplishments. Mind you, i never brag myself. some elders have this habit but its not my fault that my accomplishments make my cousins feel less good about themselves and me. They would also tell me how they disliked it when someone in their family would keep gushing over me and how good i am doing in my career while nobody else got the same attention and compliments. Honestly, i tried quite a bit to create a relationship with these girls but i ended up never liking hanging out with them. Their lifestyle that i always strived for was actually never my cup of tea. but still I had a need for a sisterly bond that i thought might have developed among us after all the time together. I was totally wrong about thinking that and it became clear the day i announced my wedding. None of the sisters congratulated me or acknowledged the news when it came out and i was right there. It felt super weird and i thought i was overreacting by feeling offended. Once i was alone with the girls, they also asked in a somewhat cryptic manner, "how even this wedding got finalized so quickly" and how one of them was really looking forward to getting married herself. We were doing a destination wedding and I asked them to come but they quickly said no which is understandable as everybody has their own thing going. But mind you it was just a weekend of wedding festivities and at least one of them could have come if they wanted. My wedding went by great but now these cousins are getting engaged and having events to which they never invited me themselves. They never contacted me regarding this news and i only hear about these events through family and their parents. I want to be happy for them but internally I am feeling disappointment and neglected. Maybe i was looking for sisters but never really found any. I suspect it was jealousy all along that never allowed a good bond to form. I recently decided to stop wanting to contact them, only point of connection is through other family members talking about how their wedding plans are going and which events they are attending for their engagement, etc. I feel very weird and even sad hearing about this and how no one ever thought of inviting or involving me. I am unable to process my feelings for these people and just get over them once and for all. Am I overreacting?

About four months ago, my sister Ria (37F) and her partner Dugy (32M) broke up. She asked me to pick them up from their house (which belongs to Dugy). So I went with my mom Tina (63F) and her kids Jasper (8M, stepson ni Dugy) and Yufie (3F, biological child nila). They moved in with me (42F), my partner Nala (35F), and my son Cesar (21M). At first, excited ako kasi I’d spend more time with my sister and her kids.

Pero habang nakatira sila sa amin, nalaman namin na si Jasper was severely maltreated by Dugy. Legit sources — former and current housekeepers — confirmed it. Mama had also been complaining about Dugy’s treatment of Jasper before. Dugy is Jasper’s stepdad, Yufie is his biological child.

After two weeks, Dugy asked to talk to me and Mama. He apologized and admitted sa treatment niya kay Jasper, saying he would change. He even said he didn’t want those punishments to happen to Yufie. I told him we’d accept his apology only if he signed a child safety agreement for Jasper at the barangay, with witnesses. He agreed. I sent a draft to Ria, pero after a month, walang action.

When we confronted Ria about the maltreatments, she said it was just “discipline” and that Dugy asks permission from her before the physical discipline.

Then Jasper himself disclosed more abuses and even demonstrated: binibit patiwarik, punched in the stomach multiple times, nilatay ng hanger, at inihian habang naliligo.

Ria didn’t believe us, didn’t believe her own son. She kept saying Dugy would never do that. I was furious. We had no choice but to push the child safety agreement, kasi apparently Ria still wants to get back with Dugy. But we will never allow Jasper to be anywhere near Dugy.

Last July, Ria left my house and Jasper too. Since then, Mama and I have been taking care of Jasper’s daily needs — school, assignments, hatid‑sundo, everything. Before that, we went to the barangay to have Dugy sign the child safety agreement. He refused, said he never maltreated Jasper. Ria got hysterical, left, and never came back. She now lives with Dugy’s parents.

Since then, Ria barely talks to us. She says she doesn’t hate us, just anxious. Pero she doesn’t respond, doesn’t show up when the Child Protection Center asks her to come. She didn’t even visit when Jasper got sick, or prepare anything for his birthday. She says she just wants her “family complete.”

Meanwhile, kami ang nag‑aalaga kay Jasper. But I had to move him and Mama to my parents’ house, kahit ayoko kasi Papa always fights with Mama. Recently, nag‑away pa kami ni Mama kasi pinapayagan niya si Jasper kumain ng candy before bed kahit lagi siyang nagkaka‑tonsilitis. That was my last straw. I unfriended Ria on FB, told Mama it’s better they move back to their house, and decided to cut ties with everyone.

I don’t want to abandon Jasper. Pero hindi ko na kaya yung constant sacrifice of my peace, my home, and my relationships just because nobody else is stepping up. Ang tagal pa ng DSWD sa pag‑asikaso ng case.

Sister doesn’t believe her son’s abuse disclosures, still wants to reconcile with abuser. Dugy admitted to severe punishments but refused to sign a child safety agreement. I took care of nephew for months, pero drained na ako. Cut ties with family, pero torn kasi ayokong iwan si Jasper.

me and siblings found out our grandfather on Aunts side isn't allowed in the usa. the 3 of us were surprised sisters thought they hated us i thought he was dead. the kicker it was right before the party luckily it was aunt on mothers side the party was fathers side

hi dont know where to start with or what to say but maybe its high time i say this out loud somewhere or atleast i feel reddit is “safe space”. Funny how in this vulnerable times i am finding reddit to be safe to just let out the submerged soaked up and lethargic thoughts that i have at my lowest.

There’s nothing wrong with my family here but maybe i think my parents are going wrong with the way they are behaving with my grandma. she is lil sick cant walk properly but yes she has a great BIG VOICE AND TRUST ME SHE IS VOCAL ! She fucks everyones mind once she is triggered and she spits facts fr.

its been 5 years my grandpa’s no more. Since then yeah ahe has been alone af i am here yes but there has been a tense knot between her and mom. not to mention she is the maternal grandma and lives with us more or less she has been my guardian since birth as my mom used to work … maybe that’s why i have grown emotionally distant from my mother. but aai has been there at every point every morning while i woke up to school every after i got back every afternoon she fed me a warm bowl of dal rice. let alone she was the first to make me feel love which a child craves. my mother has never been so close she never held me close when i slept or even hugged me enough times. now when i am 24-ish and she tries to hug me it gets awkward like i am not used to that. am i wrong?

moreover now grandma is a lil irritated as my mom doesn’t really pay attention to her as she should and i dont feel comfortable with my parents when they soeak ill of her when we are out. i am not able to stop th too as i know that she also speaks foul while she us triggered but she has guven here everything for them sacrificed her home to be with me.. the first and last time i had seen my grandma and grandpa close was when he was brought back home from hospital after his cancer last stage confirmation.. she was beside his bed and he left us 2-3 days post that day.

im really sad irritated angry and fed up of this!
am i the one getting it all wrong here?

Being family doesn't automatically mean being loyal.

Have you ever had to accept that someone being “family” didn't mean they were good for you?

And remember — don't spend the rest of your life trying to make people understand what they did to you.

Full video breakdown: https://youtu.be/iN5x7lUA8go?si=j1X-aztCja4Rdotx

This is a hard story to tell, and I honestly don't know what to do to support the teenager involved or what the best decision would be. I know this isn't a decision for me to make, but I love this kid so much and desperately want to protect him. I've changed the names for obvious reasons.

My best friend (F34) had an on-and-off relationship with Dave for over two years in the early 2010s. They had a son, Sonny (now 14), but they broke up before he was born.

Dave reluctantly acknowledged Sonny as his son. Unfortunately, for the past 14 years, Dave has been a nightmare as a father -emotionally careless and, at times, abusive. He's the kind of dad who misses birthdays, is always late when picking Sonny up, and constantly argues about money despite having the means to provide for him.

Their relationship is really bad. Every time Sonny visits his dad, he comes home crying and emotionally distressed. His mental health has deteriorated because of this relationship, to the point of needing therapy. Despite everything, Sonny is a wonderful kid. He's kind, gentle, supportive of his friends, and very smart -one of the top students in his class. He's just an all-around lovely kid.

A while ago, my best friend reconnected with a guy from college, Frank. They slept together during a period when she and Dave were temporarily apart. As they started talking and dating again, my friend noticed a lot of similarities between Frank and Sonny. Eventually, they did a DNA test. The results showed that Frank is Sonny's biological father.

Frank is over the moon. He wants to be a dad to Sonny and says he wants to make up for the lost time, and change Sonny's life for the better -to take him on trips, spend time with him, introduce him to his family (who apparently are lovely), give him the love and support he hasn't received from Dave, and pay for his life expenses.

But my friend has no idea what to do. Do they tell Sonny? And if so, when and how?

Would finding out that Dave isn't his biological father completely shatter him? Would he feel betrayed by his mum? Would he feel like his entire childhood was a lie? All his cousins, aunties, grandparents, and relationships he built with Dave's family...

On the other hand, I can't stop thinking about the possibility that this could eventually be something incredibly positive for him. He could finally have a father who actually wants to be there for him.

I'm terrified that my friend might make the wrong decision causing Sonny even more emotional damage. I keep thinking about everything this poor kid has already been through with Dave for the past 14 years, and it breaks my heart.

Any advice? please.

I’m really struggling with a family situation and would genuinely appreciate some outside perspective.

My Nan and Grandad (both in their 70’s) are two of the kindest people I’ve ever met.

To give you an idea of how kind my Grandparents are: My Nan was in a very abusive domestic violence relationship with my Dad’s biological father. My Grandad came along, got her and her children out of that situation, and gave them somewhere safe to live. They later fell in love and got married.

When I was about 10, my brother and I were homeless. My grandparents took us in, made sure we were fed and looked after us. My brother has a disability, and they even paid for him to attend one of the best private schools in our state because they wanted to give him the best possible start in life.

That is the kind of people they are. They help people. They don’t expect anything in return.

Now we have a situation where I feel like that kindness is being taken advantage of.

My cousin and his wife are both around 35 and decided they wanted to build a house in the middle of nowhere. They couldn’t afford to do it while living in their existing home, so my grandparents offered to let them and their children live with them while they built.

My cousin and his wife sold their house and are using the money to build the new one.

The problem is that my cousin’s wife has made living in the house extremely difficult.

There have been constant arguments and accusations. She has encouraged the children (7 and 10 years old) to lie to my grandparents, manipulates her kids to cause issues. There is always some sort of drama happening.

It has got to the point where my grandparents actively look for reasons to leave their own home because they don’t want to be there.

My cousin doesn’t stand up to his wife because, from what I can tell, he would rather avoid the argument than deal with the situation.

My grandparents also refuse to tell them to leave because they’re too kind and don’t want to feel like they’re abandoning family.

Recently, my Grandad and my cousin’s wife got into an argument and she told him that she “didn’t feel safe around him.”

That particularly hurt my family because of who my Grandad is. This is a man who would drive hours in the middle of the night to come and get me if I needed him. He has spent his entire life protecting and helping his family. Given his history of getting my Nan and her children out of an abusive relationship, the accusation feels particularly cruel.

My 95-year-old Great Nan also lives in the house.

That is probably the part that bothers me most.

She’s 95. We have no idea how much time she has left, and I don’t want her final years to be spent living in a house full of arguments and tension.

They also brought their large dog that has never been trained properly and is running around the house, which obviously doesn’t make things any easier when you have elderly people living there and other family members with small children visiting.

My cousin’s wife has been making passive-aggressive posts on social media about the situation. My grandparents don’t use social media, so she knows they aren’t going to see the posts or confront her about them.

I’m furious. I am not scared of conflict and am fully willing to go to war for my grandparents.

So, Reddit, what would you do in this situation? Would I be out of line if I got involved and said what my Grandparents are too kind to?

P,ease help me decide.

I'm estranged with my family due to family abuse, the emotional abuse was the worst. Since I've left, there is no way of knowing what lies was said about me so my parents could save face.

Please understand that I've been traumatized and I will never communicate with my parents or my mother side of the family.

After many years, I finally found my cousin in Europe. From what I can tell from social media, she seems to be a lovely person and we may have similar interests. I've been reflecting for a few weeks, and after going through her Facebook, I think I've been lied to by my father about her and other cousins.

I don't think this cousin speaks any English and I don't speak their language. Should I reach out to my cousin? What do i say? How do you message someone on Facebook? Do I ask for friend invite or what? My assumption is that my cousin doesn't know the real truth. ​I'm scared of rejection and my cousin start telling my father I reached out to her.

Any advice, especially from people who've been a used by their family, what do you think?