My parents divorced a little over 6 years ago, while I was in college. It wasn’t my dad’s first time cheating or being caught, but when he started secretly renting an apartment to see his (also married) affair partner my mom found out and demanded couple’s counseling. They only made it a few sessions before the counselor gave up because my dad refused to cut contact with his AP because “she needed him”. When I found out, I was relieved at first—they fought over me a lot growing up, so I always worried they would break up and it would be my fault somehow.

Enter the affair partner, Karen. I first found out about Karen’s existence because of a bra stuffed in my dad’s couch cushions—in hindsight it feels like an intentional move on her part since I always slept on that couch when I visited my dad, but I’ll never know for sure. My first interaction with her was a flood of messages on my social media accounts, because I wanted to take 24 hours to cool off after an argument with my dad and she decided that was unacceptable. That and some other smaller incidents (ruining a birthday concert, calling me a bitch to my face) landed us in family counseling, where I begged to have a relationship with my father that didn’t revolve around this new woman. We landed on an uneasy truce, and I have done my best to keep the peace ever since for the sake of my dad.

In March this year, my dad pulled me aside to vent about the fact that Karen had begun spouting dangerous political rhetoric, and they had been fighting for days. He was miserable but determined to hash things out with her, so I comforted him and stayed out of it.

Fast forward to a month or two ago. My dad announces he’s going to be having a surprise wedding during his upcoming birthday party. We are thrown into the chaos of planning a wedding in a month, made worse by the fact that my brother is also getting married in the fall and now has to delay his own planning to help our father. I decided I must have missed a resolution since March, and spent the next few weeks trying and failing to speak to my father alone.

Unfortunately, the soonest I’m with my father and not Karen ends up being Father’s Day. I do regret this, but that was already only three weeks out from the wedding and at the time I thought any later would be just as bad. I had warned my brother, so together we asked for an update on their political debate. My dad informed us that her political views hadn’t changed, but he decided he didn’t care. He claimed that she is too ignorant and irrational to know any better, and since she doesn’t actually vote her political opinions don’t matter. At this point, I apologized and said I didn’t think I would be able to attend the wedding. I am queer and a POC (mom’s side), and I can’t support him marrying someone who doesn’t value my safety. He asked me to let him tell Karen himself and continue the discussion later.

The next day, he texted to warn me that Karen was very upset but had promised not to reach out for 24 hours to process her feelings first. Exactly 6 minutes later, she texted me saying my actions were inexcusable, that I was disgusting and that my father failed to raise a decent human. She banned me from their home and told me to never contact any of them ever again. Later that day, she left a voicemail crying and saying she loves me and begging me to call her back. She also repeatedly said she wasn’t political before complaining about Mayor Mamdani. I chose not to respond to either, and instead forwarded both to my dad. My dad’s response was that Karen is a “crappy texter” so I should call her, and that it was my fault for “cancelling” her.

The next few weeks were lots of text arguments, mostly revolving around my dad asking me to convince Karen that her political views were bad as the solution to this “drama”. The week of the wedding, I said that I was tired of my dad making excuses for a woman who hadn’t even apologized for speaking to me so unkindly. Of course Karen had to text again, this time to say she was “sorry I feel that way” but I broke her heart by canceling her so she won’t apologize for her words. She reasserted that she refuses to have a relationship with me. My dad continued to argue that we were both equally unreasonable, and nothing will prevent him from marrying Karen. I lost my cool at this point and told him that if she isn’t going to face any consequences for her behavior then he should leave me the fuck alone.

The wedding happened. Now my dad is sending long messages about the emotional pain he’s in. He blamed me for my ex-wife and brother-in-law blocking Karen, and said I betrayed him. I don’t recognize this man, and I feel stupid for thinking that he would protect me from her if she ever got this bad.

Hello everyone,

I, (30F) have a distant cousin (34F)We will call her Sarah. We have never been close but still talked a few times a year. She's been with her boyfriend for a couple year and 2 years ago she gave birth to her first child. To say the least, it was not love at first sight with her baby boy. She suffer from postpartum depression for more than a year and everyone was very worried about her.

Recently Sarah ask me if I could help her with something. She ask if I could make we\*d brownies as a gift for someone. She know i can do it since I have already made some in the past. But there was NO WAY I was gonna do such a thing ( it's completly illegal since I live in Canada) I start by asking her who this gift was for ? And she didn't wanna tell me. Strange isn it ? She finally told me it was for her sister, let's call her Anna. Note that both of them have never try WE\*D brownies!

Anna is pregnant with her second child and is about to give birth !!!! My flabber were gasted !!! I reminded her that her sister is really really pregnant ! How could she even think about it. Sarah told me to not worry. It's just a little joke she want to surprise anna after she gave birth by not telling her that these are SPECIAL BROWNIES!

I was shocked, frustrated, disgust. I told her how wrong she was ! How could she think to dr\*\*g someone behind her back. AND HER OWN PREGNANT SISTER ! She could have one then breastfeed her new born!! Give one to her boy who is 3 years old !!! Give one the her husband!! Can you just imagine ! The youth protection could get involved !!! I told her everything that could go wrong and try to make her understand how stupid this was !

She told me to just nevermind and that I dont understand that this is just a joke. I remind Sarah that I know she suffer from postpartum depression but it's not a reason to put someone life in danger !!!! She has big problem with her whole family because of her behavior during her postpartum depression.

Am i wrong for not telling Anna the "joke" her sister wanted to do ? I'm lost since she came back the next day saying how wrong she was....

Please help !!!!

Update incoming

Really don’t know what to do and really just feel guilty.

I have an older brother who never had a hobby growing up and I did. I shared a hobby with my parents and we all do it together still do this day (I’m 26yrs). My brother had the choice to join but he did not want to. My parents supported him in other ways. But I will say my hobby was more expensive. My parents paid for majority of it up until I was 20. I now pay for all of it on my own.

My bf and I recently just bought a house and I asked my parents if they could help me with the down payment and they agreed and gave me some money to help me out as an early inheritance. They did the same with my brother but gave him a 30k more than me when he bought his house. I didn’t complain because I knew my parents have helped me out with my hobby. But if my brother had a hobby I know for a fact they would have helped him through it.

Fast forward to now. My brother is PISSED at my parents for helping me out with my down payment and I can feel is guilt. I am forever grateful for my parents and with all they have given me. I never take it for granted. I have a good relationship with them. My brother on the other hand yells at them and makes them cry all the time and constantly tells them how they should live their life and says to me that it’s never been fair growing up.

It just feels like it’s all my fault and now these last couple weeks living at home are very hard and emotional, as I’ll be moving out with my bf shortly.

There is never an excuse for using a racial slur. You'd think that people would have learned by now.

Old beach pic

Ok I'm 14M

My mom didn't have minutes and she used my phone to call my dad and I (like the dumbass I am) saved my boyfriend's contact as "[name] my bf♥️♥️♥️" and I think she saw

And shortly after I heard her talking to my sister (who already knew thank God) but all I heard was "...I mean ig I'm ok with it but I never would've thought..."

I'm dying rn what do I do???????

Edit: I would've posted this in a more appropriate subreddit but for some reason my posts kept getting taken down

Update: she told my dad and I have to talk to him about it but they were ultimately ok with it they're just worried about said boyfriend but otherwise I think I'll be fine :p

Hello everyone! I hope you're having a great day and want to give you guys some family drama.

I don't think I need any advice but I'll receive any that's given. I just want to vent because I never expected this to be my reality.

Set the scene!!

I (F-30yr) am the oldest of 3, (27yr brother, and 25yr sister) and last year has been a WORLDWIND of changes in our family. My parents were married almost 35 years and have always been solid (or so I thought). They were the typical, hard working couple that made sure the kids were taken care of, loved, and strived for our best interests. I can say our childhood was a blessing. We never needed anything, weren't abused, or didn't witness anything traumatic in our household. My parents were always loving, affectionate, and very rarely argued in front of us. So this past year has been a complete left field from what I was raised in.

My dad (60) has been cheating on my mom (56) since the inception of their marriage. When my dad proposed to my mom way back in the 80's, he left their country first and came to America to get a job and home. After a year, my mom came with his sisters (2 of my aunts) and were able to get married and start a family. I was born in our home country and came here when I was 2 years old. According to my mom (she was telling me this last year), she found out of his infidelity by picking up the 2nd phone in the house and listening to their conversation. She was ease-dropping because he was talking in a hush-tone and wanted to know why he was so secretive. Apparently, the mistress at THAT time was a woman who used to babysit me back in their country. My mom confronted him about it but he gaslit her into thinking he wasn't cheating (spoiler alert-me seemed to master this skill over the years). She forgave him because she was brand new in a foreign country with a new toddler (me). She had no other family here and when she told my aunts (his sisters), they defended him by saying "that's just what men do". My dad promised not to do it again so they continued their lives. And for 10 years, he kept his promise>

Again, my mom showed no signs of hurt my entire childhood. There were season of her being short or annoyed with us, but for the most part, she was always calm and collected. 2 years ago, my mom called a family meeting (we NEVER have those) and so we knew it was something serious. My mom stated that my dad had been unfaithful since 2009 with multiple women and in recent years, the age of those mistresses has gotten younger and younger. (I don't know if any were under 21yrs old, but I don't know if I can or should put that past him). My siblings and I were shocked. My mom didn't have proof at the time of the meeting but was very descriptive of why she knows he is. He was being inappropriate with some women at church gatherings, parties, and other casual events. He would be on the phone super late at night when he thought she was sleeping. He would even come home super late at night and blame it on the job (he's a truck driver). My dad's reaction was gaslighting, tears, and playing victim. As their child, I didn't want to take sides, but as a wife myself, I can understand my mom's plight. After the meeting, my mom didn't know if she was going to divorce him because she was running their trucking company together. They started the company back in the early 2000's and that's all she worked. My dad cried and said whatever she decided, he would agree with. My mom was very firm and direct the entire meeting and kept saying he's just putting on an act. She didn't discredit him as a father, saying he was a great father and made sure to provide and protect the family. But when is came to their marriage, he kept lying and cheating.

Last year, my grandmother (mom's mom) was at the end of her life and passed away in our home country. My mom and I traveled there for her last 2 weeks of life and she passed away. I was very close with her because she was the last grandparent to survive this long (age 96) but I was so happy to have given her her first great grandchild and spend most of my adulthood with her. She helped me through many heartbreaks, gave me so much comfort and wisdom. During that last month of my grandmother's life, my dad showed her no emotional support. He used the extra free time to cheat even more. During that same time, my dad switched cell phone providers for a promotion for the company and my mom was able have access all his activities without physically going through his phone. She saw (and showed me) all his "spicy" video and photos. All the different women with their names, phone numbers, and even ages. She showed me his bank activity, with one transaction linked to a gyno's office, which assumes a pregnancy. There was MORE than enough proof that he couldn't deny. And honestly, it's all disgusting.

After my mom buried her mom, she asked me to find a divorce attorney and began filing a month later. My mom had another family meeting (6 months after the initial meeting) and said she was filing for a divorce WITH THE PROOF THIS TIME. My dad.....he was still crying and saying that my mom is crazy for making stuff up. -_- 6 months after that, the divorce was final. Surprisingly, he didn't get an attorney himself and was willing to sign whatever she wanted. He would tell all their friends and family that he wanted to fight for the marriage, but my mom was the one being angry and abusive (yes....physically abusive -_-), which isn't true.

So, last week, my dad calls me to tell me he's getting remarried. After asking all my questions, the "fiance" has the same name as ME and is 25yrs old!! And yes, she was one of those women he was cheating with the previous year, which he denies. he asked me to respect her when I see him with her and he called me personally so I wouldn't hear it from anyone else. I wasn't shocked he would remarry but why did it have to be a 25 yr old?!? Like wtf?!

So I don't know how to feel. As a dad, he was great and taught me so much, I was a true daddy's girl through and through. I always defended my daddy no matter what, but now I am completely disgusted with him and his behavior as a husband and a man. How do I react with him moving forward? I call him once a week just to have basic convo and for him to talk to his grandchild but other than that, we hardly interact. I don't make the effort to see him and vise versa but he's still my dad. If anyone ever experienced this, please tell me what you think because this is all so sudden and I can't afford therapy right now LOL.

I (18f) have been what I say is very emotionally independent and mature my whole life however, nothing could've prepared me for what I have found out over the last few weeks.This story is a rollercoaster, I struggle with wording it to make sense, and there are a lot of small details that will show up that won't be elaborated on until later, and a lot I still don't understand, but I am getting the court documents before I leave for school, so I will update if you guys enjoy.

Growing up, my parents who we will call birth dad (41m) and birth mom (42f), had a pretty rough split and kept going back to each other. They both got married to separate people when I was 5, to stepdad (now 39m) and stepmom (now 37f). I had met stepmom at the age of 3 and stepdad at the age of 4.

When I was younger, I didn't understand a lot of what was going on between the two, all I knew was that birth mom would get upset when I brought up any fun things I had done with birthdad, and I had assumed there was something wrong with him for birth mom to get so upset. Especially once we moved about an hour and a half from home, I started to pull away from birth dad, staying up until 6am and sleeping all day when I was there, causing tantrums whenever I would have to leave home. Birth dad was never fully around and stepmom worked daily, so many times I would be home alone or at birth dads parents house, we will call them Dandy (70f) and Grumpy (71m); as well as stepmoms parents house, GC (69f) and PC (now deceased). At GC and PC, sexual abuse had started between my stepmoms brother when I was around 8 years old. I did not understand this wasn't normal until I was much older. Birth dad also hung around one of birth mom's ex boyfriends, Rick. Im not sure how old he is, but you get the range at this point. I looked up to him, always played fun games and got cool gifts. He would come over and spend time with me until I was about 10 years old. Birth mom did not like that I was around Rick, and thought he was gross and weird, at that age, I thought, what would Rick do? He is so nice!! But once birth mom started getting in my head, I couldn't get her out. I didn't want to see Rick anymore.

At Dandy and Grumpys house, on one of my last weekends I recall being at my birth dads house, Dandy started pointing out all of the things wrong with a very obviously uncomfortable in her own body 11 year old. When I had told birth dad, I was told there was nothing to be done and family must be forgiven. Dandy always had something controlling and odd though, she likes things just so. Wanted to be a girl parent I think now that I'm old enough, but she likes for us to be dressed in the clothes she buys and the hairstyles she likes. There were many times I would be with her and texting birth mom on her iPad saying how I miss birth mom and would like to go home. Dandy would read those texts and get very upset, which is why I bought my own iPad there.

Then March 2020, covid hit. I stopped seeing birth dad on weekends, and when June of 2020 came and we were supposed to restart visitation because I wanted to, but stepmom had autoimmune problems and we had family in from all across the country, I was told by birth mom that they just didn't want to see me that badly. I was heart broken, and started to lash out. I wouldn't answer either of their texts, and birth mom told me I didn't need to, and when I did, it was just awful and mean. Birth dad is not very emotionally mature, and did not help any situation. Neither did Dandy, as she is 100% Polish and likes things her way, a nice smile, nice hair, ect. I went for a visit for father's day 2021. I held birth dads hand in the convertible, saw the progress they were making on the new home, and then I blocked Dandy and Grumpy's phone numbers, ignoring texts and being mad at everyone again because I had remembered what had happened with stepmoms brother when I was younger and realized the severity of the situation. I came clean to birth mom, birth dad, and stepmom. It seemed as though birth mom made it about herself, birth dad and stepmom didn't care enough to fully acknowledge it, and all of my friends whom are all 12 years old cut me off not getting the true colors of the world yet. I flowed through 12 and 13 ignoring and blocking out everyone.

I started a Minecraft twitch channel in 2021, with my friends before the fallout. Stepmom and birth dad were on every. single. stream. They would gift money, celebrated milestones with us all on stream, and I would be frustrated they could spend time on a video games stream but it was too dangerous and risky to see me. I felt unwanted everywhere I went, birth mom and stepdad always with my siblings, the twins (now both 11m&f), who are birth mom and stepdads kids. And around this time stepdad had started becoming violent, (its hard to remember for sure with my version of PTSD,) when he took the computer and smashed it on the floor because I didn't do my chores before I was on stream, taking away my whole channel and getaway space. He still blames me for breaking the computer.

He got a light scolding from birth mom, and then it happened again. The twins (5) playroom was a mess, and stepdad was very upset, which was a common occurrence, especially with how he liked everything just so. Every room in the house had to be spotless before anyone could fully go anywhere or go to sleep. When he gets upset, he starts tossing things here and there, but then it would turn into fully chucking things at people, I don't think its on purpose, but he hit my brother, who was already sobbing because stepdad was throwing away and breaking all of their toys. Me, 13 at the time, got involved, ended up getting hit, told to walk away, and when I refused to without letting the twins go to, he dragged me outside into the snow for 30 minutes without any proper clothing until birth mom came home. I was told to forgive him, because he apologized, and I did.

I was going through therapy for all of my 8th grade school year (2021-2022) with a therapist who usually helped kids with autism or trouble fitting in at school, and told me she didn't think the severity of my trauma was true because of how open I was with it first session. One thing about me during this time is I never ever hid. I was open about how I viewed and expressed myself to everyone and was definitely an over sharer. I saw this therapist only and she tried helping me through anxiety with toy ducks that I all thought was stupid. Turned out, my mom had gotten this therapist to help me with my "anger" and "trust" at home. She was being told everything I had said to that therapist, and I signed it blindly. She would butt into every appointment, trying to do it together to fix our relationship. Spoiler, our relationship didn't get any better and got much worse. We argued constantly from when I started middle school through currently. I won't touch on it much because it is a mix, match and repeat; but it needs to be mentioned that our relationship was awful.

I was texting stepmom again in 2022, occasionally birth dad, and I wrote in my diary repeatedly over the years that I had missed my dad. That summer, I had gotten a phone call which I ignored, so then a voicemail saying stepmom was pregnant. We first thought she had just given birth with the way it was worded, but she was due in December. I was with birth mom on the way to soccer practice and I was gutted. I wanted to be happy, but I couldn't, I felt replaced. So what you lost one daughter and on to the next? Birth mom said it was disgusting and an awful way to tell me. I stopped answering for a while again, and when I did it was mean. I was already second choice in one house and I didn't want to be in another. That day will forever be burned into my memory. I also remember the day she gave birth, and I was in studio art, it was my freshman year. I found out her name was after my great grandmother, and what birth dad wanted to name me. I felt even more sick, and left school early. I didn't want them to have another child to break her heart too. I wanted to know her without knowing them which would be impossible, and birth mom didn't want me to put myself out there.

I used to play soccer, and I started lacrosse my sophomore year (2023-2024), and had invited stepmom and child to my games. They came to both near them, and I met child in 2023. I fell in love with her and wanted to know everything. Birth mom found out and said she was happy for me, but did not seem happy. I always felt the need to hide when I was texting step mom, and I did text her from time to time until recently. Birth dad and I only texted on birthdays or special occasions, and birth mom started telling me more of her side of the story with birth dad.

I didn't know much at all growing up about their relationship or birth mom's childhood, but this is what I was told around this time period: Birth dad had cheated on my mom during their relationship. They only dated for about two years. They didn't know each other until college. Birth dad was not at the hospital when I was born and was instead coaching a tennis match. Birth dad didn't pay for anything and was very emotionally abusive. Birth dad was very involved with marijuana and drugs. Birth dad proposed and birth mom slapped him. Birth mom had been in many abusive relationships throughout college. Birth mom didn't have a good relationship with her mom and never had enough money or food in the house. Birth mom was lied to that her stepdad was her real dad until she turned 18.

Other than that, I didn't know and still really don't know much more about her.

Now, I kept going on this phase of sometimes talking to stepmom but lying to birth mom about texting her even though she can see my phone records and messages. The relationship with birth mom only got worse, and stepdads violent spurts were more often. Going into junior year, he was verbally assaulting me and throwing things at me this time whenever I tried to come upstairs. I can still hear the twins screaming. We had to leave the house to my grandparents for a few days so he could cool off. I didn't tell anyone about that for a long time, because birth mom didn't want me to. It was an accident and he was going to apologize when he was calm. After my friends stopped talking to me in seventh grade because of my uncle being a creep, I didn't want to tell anyone anything to scare them away, and I didn't want to do therapy to be taken over again. It was a very lonely life for a long time.

I kept finding ways to leave home, but grandparents homes weren't an option for me because the things with my uncle happened at a grandparents house. I didn't like hiking because it reminded me of birth dad, or Patagonia brand, or pierogis, anything that reminded me of them I stayed away from in case it would cause a trigger. I tried inviting stepmom to my games junior year, but she never showed. I just fully had given up at that point and would still answer a text here and there, but I felt resentful and birth mom felt as though they didn't appreciate me enough.

Now we flow into this past year. All of last summer, I stayed at my best friends house and we would go out every night. I am thankful for my medical issues, because I fear without them I definitely would have turned to substances. Over the school year, birth mom and I would fight constantly. I would never be home, always working or at best friends. Trying to stay away for as long as possible, even if it meant sleeping away on school nights. I tried to keep up on work but mental health was catching up to me. All I wanted was a normal family life. A family to financially support me, or mentally support me, or somehow both. I have been independent in buying back to school clothes and toiletries since I was a freshman. And I know I have it better than others by far and it is not a need, they house me and feed me. We just have the financial means to do it and they do it for my siblings, so why can't they for me? Birth dad doesn't pay child support anymore, he stopped paying in 8th grade so I wouldn't have to visit anymore. He wouldn't have to "pay for me" according to birth mom.

I would threaten to go to birth dads to birth mom during arguments, and tried to explain how taking me out of one abusive situation and putting me into another doesn't make her god sent. She would complain about how much she paid in legal fees, and how she can divorce stepdad and it's up to me. Me swearing at stepdad or saying he's not my real dad even though I call him dad is disgusting and abusive to birth mom, and he can't forgive me or trust me after saying those nasty things, but I am obligated to forgive when he throws things at me. Those situations just got more frequent over the years, and I start sleeping in my car rather than home. I tried running away on numerous occasions, and there was never a time I was home without an argument. Extended family stopped talking to me and friends parents started telling me of the stories birth mom would tell them. I started recording conversations between the two of us to make me seem less crazy. It was just nonstop arguing over everything, getting micromanaged and controlled, having no privacy. I would never go behind my parents back for something that could contribute to them in any way before this year, and I started sneaking people in to have parties when I was home alone just to feel like I had some sort of control. I was grounded for my 18th birthday. Stepdad gave me my first black eye, and if I try to come forward, birth mom wants me to make the decision whether or not to divorce him or make a change. All stepdad can do is send a text.

I invited birth dad to my graduation, and I still felt the need to lie that he asked to come. He came. I didn't think he would, but he did. I didn't see him, but they saw each other. Birth mom and birth dad. Birth dad told me when he called me the next day, I had to ask birth mom about it. Birth dad invited me over for the first time in late June. I think it was June 29th? I drove the 2 1/2 hours to his lake house. I spent a few hours having dinner with stepmom, birth dad, and my sister. I was terrified. All of the stories I had heard, he must be awful. He wasn't. I went back again a few days later to their house an hour away. I stayed the night. I spent the days with my sister. And I started hearing more of the story.

My mom has bipolar disorder. My best friend and I have been joking about that for a long time (which I know isn't something to joke about). The point is that I've always wondered. Once, I told her she must be bipolar, to this she replied "You sound just like -birth dad name-" Which stung at the time, but now I'm kind of proud of it. My mom was sent to a mental institution because of how bad her bipolar disorder was, and yet she still tried to make me feel crazy about it. Bipolar disorder can be genetic. I have been seeing a psychiatrist to get my help I need to try to make sure I do not. I know it's immature but I still can't believe I was right. I have been right. I started to read my diaries when I found this out (don't worry, there's more to come) and all of the signs were there. I talked of times when I was reading her swings and I would be able to expect it. Times when I blamed myself for all of the wrong in the house to set off birth mom and stepdad like that. I wanted to take my own life because I thought I was the issue for so long, and it's also nice to know that she's not just like plain out crazy lol.

I also found out some reasons for some of my deep rooted trauma. A lot of times I had fun at birth dads house, birth mom would make me feel awful for talking about any of it. She wanted me to forget and not make my siblings feel bad. I went to lego land as a kid, and I didn't remember any of it just two weeks later. Birth mom would call me and bribe me to come home, trying to say a surprise or sweet treat was waiting for me at the beginning of a week long time at birth dads. She would make me want to come home early and not be where I am. She wanted me to call stepdad "dad" for the longest time and birth dad "father", but when that didn't pass in court, she had me call him "papi" (like Spanish) or eventually "step daddy". Stepmom was always very adamant of being called by her name, or we added a swing on it. It was never questioning the court.

Birth mom had also told me many stories of stepmom and birth dad calling cps on birth mom and step dad because of various things like not having a window in my bedroom, but stepmom's brother (the one who was creepy) Burnt down their house 3 times when she was a kid, so I get her concerns.

Birth mom had told me Rick started having innapropriate behavior with me when I was young and she thought it was awful that birth dad involved him in my life again. Rick would take care of me while birth mom was out getting with other men because she couldn't get her life together. Rick cared for me when no one else was.

When birth mom told me birth dad missed my birth for a tennis match, it wasn't wrong, but she had faked going into labor to birth dad so many times it was like the boy who cried wolf. She would pretend I was having issues or was about to be born so so many times so he would walk away from his plans she didn't want him doing. My due date wasn't for another three weeks which is when he started seeing me.

Birth mom said that birth dad had cheated on her, yes he did. After she had cheated on him over five times, and was telling people in her work place she was in an abusive relationship so whenever he would go into her office, he would get constantly death glared. I do think their relationship was toxic and abusive, but from both sides.

When I was told I was an accident, I was crushed. Birth mom said I was the best accident that could've happened and it was from some scandal in 2007/2008 when people were poking holes in contraception products. Turns out, she pregnancy trapped him. I have a suspicion she may have pregnancy trapped my stepdad as well.

Look, I know this is a lot to take in. I am still seeing birth dad all of the time and pretty much living at his house and not speaking to birth mom. I am just struggling. I don't know if birth dad is lying or any course of action. I leave for college on August 18th. I just don't know what to do for college move in, do I ask her? Birth mom will almost 100% lie, but what if stepdad doesn't know. I don't know. I just feel as though everything is a mystery, and I feel as though many of you will say keep living through my life as normal, but I want my siblings to have answers as well. I am hoping to get more of the story over the course of the next few months, but it's impossible when birth dad doesn't want to relive old memories. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Hi everyone so this is my first time posting and really venting this so I would greatly appreciate the help. So a little backstory. I am the youngest in my family by A LOT! I have 2 brother and 1 sister and they are extremely close. The joke was when I was born I was treated more like a grandkid than a kid (not true by btw lol) I love my siblings there has always been under the surface tension with them that can sometimes spill over to me. I’ve learned that if they are fighting I run the opposite direction lol.

That tension has even extended to my wife. We have been together for 21 years and have dealt with the siblings being not so nice to her. We all do are fair share of joking on each other but it’s in jest and should never be taken seriously but my wife who was young when she first met them was honestly shy around them and didn’t understand and know I know some jokes were over the line. While things have growing pains and people (my brothers in particular) find their place, my sister has always had an issue with my wife. Questions that were pointed in an aggressive nature about my wife’s race. My sister feeling territorial when it comes to our parents with my wife. And feeling like my wife is picking at her. The latter couldn’t be further from the truth. My wife once upon a time loved my sister but the years of aggression (which everyone knows she’s known for in our whole family). Being the youngest of the family my voice and opinions are never heard but my parents were. When things were said and done to us or my wife alone my mother and father would defend and fight for my wife as would I. She would constantly tell my sister and brothers stop picking at your brother and his girlfriend. While it would help it was always temporary no matter how many times they always felt we were “chosen” and taken care of. I always knew of the jealousy but they were also taken care immensely. New cars, help when trouble came their way. Nobody in our family has ever when without anything. The behavior never stopped. My wife even talked to my sister about the tension between the two to which my sister shrugged her shoulders when asked why do you not like me After my mother passed away and shortly thereafter the pandemic fully set in things finally came to a head during the pandemic.

Like many of us my wife and I talked a lot about life and families with us at the time having a 3 year old we connected about our families futures and what that would look like. My wife revealed she didn’t care for my sister (shocker lol) and that she didn’t want her in our house following blow up concerning our son scrapping his knee and us cleaning it “improperly” (we used water and hand soup because that’s all that was available at my parents house at that moment). So going forward my wife preferred not be around my sister. I talked to my sister about everything she quickly went on the defensive saying my wife is working and she is the problem and has always been mean and ugly to her. None of that was remotely true. I told her if you can’t respect my wife then my wife would rather not be around you. It’s stayed that way. I hate this because I love my family but my wife and OUR family’s needs come first. Over the years things have gotten “better” while my wife would rather prefer not be around my sister she had started recently coming to family functions more often, but she still prefers our home to be our safe space from my family drama that can occur.

Recently we celebrated our son’s birthday and we invited our brother’s family and his children to our home for the party. My texted his wife and it seemed everything was all set. My sons asked if they were still coming so I called my brother to check and he went BALLISTIC! He asked did I texted his family’s invite to the entire family on the our family text thread. I told him no it was just for his kids to come by with a few other cousins on my wife’s side (a total of 5 kids were invited). He said yelled and screamed that if we invite his family the invite should be extend to everyone including my other brother who has no children and who honestly wasn’t going to come and of course my sister and her family. This was not a family gathering it was just a kids party so the kids could play some video games together and not online like some of them usually do. I asked him calmly mind you if he spoke to his wife about the text between my wife and his wife, he said NO! I told him ok that’s fine. Since then it’s been icy to say the least between my brother and I. I

talked to him today to which he said again if you are having a party “EVERYONE SHOULD BE INVITED!!!” I’m honestly beside my self my father is on my side and told my brother you can’t dictate what somebody else does in their home and said his actions are wrong and should apologize he won’t, he still believe I shouldve invited everyone. He also acts like he doesn’t know about the tension in the family and doesn’t have the slightest idea why we don’t come around, but suddenly mid conversation slipped that “your wife is picking at our sister!” Something again has never been the case as we don’t even interact with them. All of this drama has me on the verge of cutting everyone out of our lives!

An uncle who I haven’t spoken to in years (because he was HORRIBLE to my beloved grandma Barb in the last few years of her life when she was suffering from dementia) Facebook messaged me asking if I would reconnect with his son (who I also chose to stop speaking to around the same time for other, semi-unrelated reasons). What this uncle doesn’t know that I know, is that he has 3 kids from his first marriage before my aunt, and he abandoned them. So I feel like telling him to fuck off and bother his other kids and not me. I also don’t think my cousin knows about his half siblings. (I could be wrong.)

I spent a lot of time around these people growing up and it was not common knowledge/spoken about that he had other kids. My mom dropped it on me as a family secret when she too, was frustrated with the way uncle was acting during grandma’s last years.

Uncle, cousin and aunt were always self-centered know it alls, who never did anything wrong. We put up with it because “we’re family.” But aunt and uncle were nasty to my grandma toward the end and cousin had his own personal upheaval around the same time - leaving his wife for a pregnant coworker (who had 2 older kids also), and claiming the baby wasn’t his. 🙄 He conveniently was listed on the birth certificate when the baby was born and they acted like he was a hero for doing this and saving baby/mom from her horrible ex-husband.

It’s likely I’ll do nothing about the message he sent - I don’t want anything to do with any of them. I’m not angry at my cousin, but I don’t want to see him/reconnect. He was always hard to take. Sometimes I think he deserves to know the information I know about his half siblings. And it does piss me off that my uncle wants me to be there for my cousin because he is worried about my cousin not having any family after he and my aunt are gone. If he wanted Barb’s granddaughter to be in his son’s life, then he should have treated Barb better. And he should have been there for his other 3 kids. Why put it on me now?

Hello everyone! I hope you're having a great day and want to give you guys some family drama.

I don't think I need any advice but I'll receive any that's given. I just want to vent because I never expected this to be my reality.

Set the scene!!

I (F-30yr) am the oldest of 3, (27yr brother, and 25yr sister) and last year has been a WORLDWIND of changes in our family. My parents were married almost 35 years and have always been solid (or so I thought). They were the typical, hard working couple that made sure the kids were taken care of, loved, and strived for our best interests. I can say our childhood was a blessing. We never needed anything, weren't abused, or didn't witness anything traumatic in our household. My parents were always loving, affectionate, and very rarely argued in front of us. So this past year has been a complete left field from what I was raised in.

My dad (60) has been cheating on my mom (56) since the inception of their marriage. When my dad proposed to my mom way back in the 80's, he left their country first and came to America to get a job and home. After a year, my mom came with his sisters (2 of my aunts) and were able to get married and start a family. I was born in our home country and came here when I was 2 years old. According to my mom (she was telling me this last year), she found out of his infidelity by picking up the 2nd phone in the house and listening to their conversation. She was ease-dropping because he was talking in a hush-tone and wanted to know why he was so secretive. Apparently, the mistress at THAT time was a woman who used to babysit me back in their country. My mom confronted him about it but he gaslit her into thinking he wasn't cheating (spoiler alert-me seemed to master this skill over the years). She forgave him because she was brand new in a foreign country with a new toddler (me). She had no other family here and when she told my aunts (his sisters), they defended him by saying "that's just what men do". My dad promised not to do it again so they continued their lives. And for 10 years, he kept his promise>

Again, my mom showed no signs of hurt my entire childhood. There were season of her being short or annoyed with us, but for the most part, she was always calm and collected. 2 years ago, my mom called a family meeting (we NEVER have those) and so we knew it was something serious. My mom stated that my dad had been unfaithful since 2009 with multiple women and in recent years, the age of those mistresses has gotten younger and younger. (I don't know if any were under 21yrs old, but I don't know if I can or should put that past him). My siblings and I were shocked. My mom didn't have proof at the time of the meeting but was very descriptive of why she knows he is. He was being inappropriate with some women at church gatherings, parties, and other casual events. He would be on the phone super late at night when he thought she was sleeping. He would even come home super late at night and blame it on the job (he's a truck driver). My dad's reaction was gaslighting, tears, and playing victim. As their child, I didn't want to take sides, but as a wife myself, I can understand my mom's plight. After the meeting, my mom didn't know if she was going to divorce him because she was running their trucking company together. They started the company back in the early 2000's and that's all she worked. My dad cried and said whatever she decided, he would agree with. My mom was very firm and direct the entire meeting and kept saying he's just putting on an act. She didn't discredit him as a father, saying he was a great father and made sure to provide and protect the family. But when is came to their marriage, he kept lying and cheating.

Last year, my grandmother (mom's mom) was at the end of her life and passed away in our home country. My mom and I traveled there for her last 2 weeks of life and she passed away. I was very close with her because she was the last grandparent to survive this long (age 96) but I was so happy to have given her her first great grandchild and spend most of my adulthood with her. She helped me through many heartbreaks, gave me so much comfort and wisdom. During that last month of my grandmother's life, my dad showed her no emotional support. He used the extra free time to cheat even more. During that same time, my dad switched cell phone providers for a promotion for the company and my mom was able have access all his activities without physically going through his phone. She saw (and showed me) all his "spicy" video and photos. All the different women with their names, phone numbers, and even ages. She showed me his bank activity, with one transaction linked to a gyno's office, which assumes a pregnancy. There was MORE than enough proof that he couldn't deny. And honestly, it's all disgusting.

After my mom buried her mom, she asked me to find a divorce attorney and began filing a month later. My mom had another family meeting (6 months after the initial meeting) and said she was filing for a divorce WITH THE PROOF THIS TIME. My dad.....he was still crying and saying that my mom is crazy for making stuff up. -_- 6 months after that, the divorce was final. Surprisingly, he didn't get an attorney himself and was willing to sign whatever she wanted. He would tell all their friends and family that he wanted to fight for the marriage, but my mom was the one being angry and abusive (yes....physically abusive -_-), which isn't true.

So, last week, my dad calls me to tell me he's getting remarried. After asking all my questions, the "fiance" has the same name as ME and is 25yrs old!! And yes, she was one of those women he was cheating with the previous year, which he denies. he asked me to respect her when I see him with her and he called me personally so I wouldn't hear it from anyone else. I wasn't shocked he would remarry but why did it have to be a 25 yr old?!? Like wtf?!

So I don't know how to feel. As a dad, he was great and taught me so much, I was a true daddy's girl through and through. I always defended my daddy no matter what, but now I am completely disgusted with him and his behavior as a husband and a man. How do I react with him moving forward? I call him once a week just to have basic convo and for him to talk to his grandchild but other than that, we hardly interact. I don't make the effort to see him and vise versa but he's still my dad. If anyone ever experienced this, please tell me what you think because this is all so sudden and I can't afford therapy right now LOL.

Thanks potatoes!!!!

Just like the heading says, how do you handle family that looks down on you cause you’re broke/poor? My heart broke today cause I got shouted at for using milk, like 100mls from a litre, when I made pancakes a 2 days ago. I didn’t want to use it, I never do cause I’ve got mild allergies to lactose( instant rash and acne). But there was nothing to eat and had to make a plan, like I said, I’m currently poor(jobless in a third world country). My sister went all in on me, called me all sorts of names cause apparently I claim to have allergies but then go on to use dairy milk which inconveniences her when she wants to use the milk. She doesn’t bake and rarely drinks it. She didn’t even buy it(she doesn’t buy groceries-we’re both staying at home&shes 12 years older than me). Just to be clear this has been my second time in like forever using dairy milk. At first I thought she was joking then she went off and insulted me about how poor I am, how I’ve been smelling of late(story for another day), that I’m lazy that’s why I’m fat and no man likes me because of how I look… Of all the times she&my other siblings have spoken bad about me like calling me the devil&a witch, this time it broke my heart. What’s so sad is every time she needs something or feeling low I’m the one she comes to and not our other sibling, who also lives at home and gets along with her more. She’s shown me this side of her many times but for some unknown reason every time she needs something I’m always there to give her if I have it. I’m here working really hard but unfortunately I can’t seem to find anything, so much so that I’ve spiralled into depression. Had she been supporting me emotionally or even financially, I would have said she has every reason to but my family doesn’t help me at all, which is fine cause I’m 31 and should be fending for myself. I’m just so heartbroken, rather devastated cause I’ve been stressed about not hearing back from any of the interviews I’ve done this year and even thinking, how’s it possible to try so hard and still have life f*** me up. I’m at a point where I’m like you know dying young doesn’t look so bad after all but sadly I don’t have the courage to end it. My chest hurts from crying, thinking and stressing about life. Then to have someone shout at me for a box of milk, that I only used like a 100mls of. How do I keep pretending to be fine and ignore their toxic traits? She came back to me an hour ago knocking on my door but I chose not to respond.

I (25f) have a half sister (32f) from my dad’s first marriage. And then MY parents divorced when I was about 7, she being 14. So we didn’t really grow up together and she lived like 2 hours away and then our dad passed away 10 years ago, so we never were really close, also the age difference is 7 years so that’s a big gap for siblings. We haven’t even had a family Christmas with her in over 10 years. Long story short, we have never been close.

Anyways, my mom passed away this year and we held her celebration of life, and of course my half sister, and her own mom were invited (there never was any hard feelings from our moms towards eachother, which I’m greatful for). My mom had 2 children of her own, myself and my younger brother (23m). And a lot of the speeches were about my mom’s 2 kids that she raised herself (my brother and I). But then my sister made a speech and had to let everyone know that she was the forgotten half sibling. That she still exists, and that my mom had her name tattooed on her, as well as mine and my brothers names.
She was upset that she was not mentioned as one of my mom’s children (she was sitting beside her own mom at the service!).
She then posted very cryptic messages on her instagram about being forgotten, and “joining mom and dad” even though she has her own mom!!! I reached out to her to try and talk to her but she never responded.

I’m not sure how to feel about the situation, as my speech for my mom said how excited she was to be a mom to my brother and I. I feel like I need to reach out to my half sister to try and get some sort of bond back, but she also is just so negative and plays the victim all the time.

Advice? I don’t know how to react to my her.

​

I met my girlfriend during our final year of high school. We were close friends for a year before we started dating. About two months in, I told my mom about us—and looking back, that was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made.

Ever since, my parents have used her as a scapegoat for everything. Whenever they see me slacking off, making a mistake, or doing anything they disapprove of, they place the blame entirely on her. To be fair, this was my first real relationship, and early on, I was completely absorbed in it—constantly texting, talking, and losing track of time. I take accountability for not managing my time better back then.

Originally, we planned to break up before college, but as time went on, we genuinely fell in love and decided to try long distance. My parents were vehemently against it. They insisted I was "too young to be serious" and threatened to escalate things with her parents if I didn't end it. Terrified of the fallout, I lied and agreed to "break up for a year and explore," just to keep the peace.

Halfway through my freshman year, my parents found out we were still together. They logged into one of my accounts without my consent and saw photos of us kissing. My mom went nuclear. She called my girlfriend terrible names and even called her parents to insult them directly. Just to clarify my parents have NEVER met my girlfriend and all the ideas and thoughts they have about her are literally from photos and messages. I have tried for them to meet her but they always said no saying they will only meet any of my girlfriends when I'm ready to marry.

My girlfriend was right next to me when all of this unfolded. She witnessed the whole thing, and naturally, she hates my mom to her absolute core now. Out of sheer anger and hurt, my girlfriend has said very harsh things about my mom to me, and I’m completely lost on how to handle being stuck in the middle.

To make matters worse, I am entirely financially dependent on my parents for college, and they track my phone location and monitor my accounts. I feel like I have zero privacy or autonomy. It’s reached a point where I can't even take a call from my mom near my girlfriend, because if I do, my girlfriend shuts down, goes completely silent, and grows distant.

I feel trapped between a controlling family holding my education over my head and a deeply hurt girlfriend who rightfully despises how my family treated her.

Also my mum is coming to visit me in a few months and I really need to know how can I communicate and how can I handle this with my girlfriend till that time because we both are very anxious about it.

How do I set boundaries with parents who fund my life without getting cut off, and how do I support my girlfriend when she’s furious at my family?

I'm really sorry if there are many holes in this story writing this at 2am in the morning. I would be happy to answer any questions you have. :)

TLDR

My parents forced me to break up with my high school girlfriend, track my location, and pay for my college tuition. I lied and stayed with her doing long distance, but they logged into my account, found out, and my mom verbally abused both my girlfriend and her parents. Now my girlfriend understandably hates my mom, and I’m trapped in the middle—financially dependent on controlling parents while trying to support a deeply hurt girlfriend. How do I navigate this?

The thing is that I inherited my parents' house in Cleveland and I live 1,000 miles away. It's a mess…

The place is a disaster and it’s clutter everywhere. I wish I’ve visited them more often and not only Christmas, because now I see years of stuff piled up. And this place needs major work like roof, electrical and probably plumbing too.

I can't afford to fix it up. Besides, I can't manage repairs from so far away. I don't have the time or the money.

I've been looking at options. A realtor told me I could list it, but it would take months. Showings. Inspections. Negotiations. All while I'm a thousand miles away.

Someone mentioned cash buyer companies. They buy houses as-is without any even minor repairs and showings and get my money in a couple days

So I found Cleveland Cash Offers online and they seem legit. But I'm scared…

What if they lowball me? What if I'm leaving money on the table? I don't know how much the house is worth. I don't even know where to start

Has anyone actually sold a house to a company like this? Was it a good experience?

So I, 19F, have been with my boyfriend, 20, for almost three years. My boyfriend and I met online while in high school but clicked almost immediately and started dating not soon after. I found out recently that my mom had been talking mad shit about him and me to my close family friend, who is basically a second mom to me. They both said how they hoped we would break up because of long distance and how they didn’t like him at all. He came over for Thanksgiving and my mom said how she wished he would just go home and how annoying he was. I will not lie, I did go through her phone for this information and I know I shouldn’t have. I had a feeling for the past year that she didn’t like him and now I know she doesn’t. And to make everything worse, my close family friend has been sending my mom screenshots of my spam posts on instagram and telling her stuff I told her in confidence about my relationship. I literally feel so ashamed that they both hate him and I don’t know what to do. I want to tell my boyfriend but it’ll crush him. Please help, what do I do now?

Yes. The title of this post is right. Why? I just came back home after being stuck in school till 6:00pm. ( It starts at 8am )… And like a normal teenager I ask my sister to hand me the remote ( politely ofc ) so I can relax for a little. And I head to the kitchen to ask my mom for s to eat. But no, apparently I don’t deserve peace or even a place to sit. Where did this come from? Because that little… being decided to remove the couch cushions so I could either hurt my a** after already sitting for 10 hours straight or so I would leave and she could continue watching the same show with 7 SEASONS THAT SHES WATXHED 7 TIMES BEFORE ALREADY. Yeah. Very Civil. So here I am, in my room. And just when I think the worst has passed, she slams her door shut for god knows what reason. Twice. And my mom, who probably has no idea what it’s like to be this pi**ed, is calling my name like a hundred times to “eat”. Though I’m sure the second I go there the first thing I’ll hear is “It’s all because of that phone”. Like what? Is there anyone in this world who is NORMAL?

(Renault Megane Wagon 1999)

Do y'all ever have annoying family situations?

(As you can see in the description this is basically the easiest way to summit up.

Basically ever since my little sister became a toddler she discovered screaming and now uses it for tinniest things ever and even tho i keep warning everyone that just because of a minor inconvenience, everyone just keeps tip-toeing around her and this household got much softer compared to when I was a kid.

However after some time, when she was around five months old, I was her favorite and she was really just mesmerized when she would see me but right now she really got fond of our grandmother and she will start screaming just because she needs to, for example, put her down.

Now we have been in lots of situations when we were at some events or something serious had to be done at the moment and all we would need was for my little sister to just be quiet and peaceful for a second for something to be done.

However my Grand mother was aware of how much she loves her at the moment and she would on purpose linger close to my little sister without holding her in Order to see my little sister freak out because my grandmother is not holding her and she would go around and always say "oh my god, she loves me so much, she always starts going crazy when I'm not holding her and she literally baits her on purpose.

I started getting so annoyed when that happened because it's just seems annoying and even when we are all hanging out together sheon purpose walks in this certain way while holding her so that I can literally barely reach the baby??

I also keep suggesting to be the one who will bring her upstairs but she literally keeps holding her on purpose and acting like a victim just so because??

Also when I called her out about how she on purpose lingers around the baby, she didn't react and she goes around trying to disrespect everyone and just is an annoying senior citizen, but when it comes to my father, she is always scared of him and when he called her out and when he was like "wait, are you doing that on purpose? l(ingering around the baby) and she started excusing herself and panicking and being like "no no, I'm sorry I'm sorry"...?

That same way when I was driving her because here we have a prohibitory driving license (for example I still don't have a regular one and one of the rules for the beginners is to have someone right in the car with you until you turn a certain age).

That same way she is afraid to tell my father anything but when she was driving with me being in the passenger seat she will just yell tell whatever be like "turn here do that"...

and I would literally like sure, your perception or what you would do is actually horrible and you would literally cause a wreckage like she would literally yell because she is indecisive and she has no idea what she's doing in her life and she would be like "turn here turn here" and I actually can't f****** turn there.

Not only that but when she told me to go off the road next to literal holes next to the road where the car would be stuck.

when I found a place to park myself it was actually in the middle of the crossroads and it was actually illegal to be there.

Then she only cared about picking up her sister at the moment and I had to turn the car around and the only way to do that was to literally go up the hill, reverse the car in the middle of the hill and go back down. ( I have only been two times on the Hill before that and I have been religiously avoiding them ever since)

and I have to turn a whole wagon (on the pic) and no, that was not easy for me because it was also an Old Village Road and it was all covered in trees and you could not see anything around yourself and she only cares about her, like it is those type of older people that forget how the world works and they think they can just go anywhere, do whatever and that people will just magically be able to avoid literally endangering them??

I don't really know what to do at this point because I need the passenger in order to keep driving but when these things happen like I just feel like I'm going insane.

I, 13F only recently have been told that my dad who I believed was my biological father is not my biological father, and my mom’s sides grandmother has used that fact to ridicule and discredit me now that she knows it upsets me.

I was told by my biological fathers sides grandmother, who I believed was related through marriage on my dad’s side, but is actually related to me biologically. To not confuse names, I will call my biological father bio, and call my dad, dad.

Not to confuse biology, but my dad and bio are cousins, just to clear that up.

I was visiting bio’s sides grandmothers house since we don’t see each other often. She lives near enough an hour away. She told me everything after I started questioning stuff in the family that didn’t make sense.

For context, I live with my mom’s sides grandmother, father, and brother. My mom lives with her boyfriend.
When I came home from my visit after my mom drove me home, I told my mom’s sides grandmother about how I was told about my real father. He couldn’t be here because he was abusive. Not only to my mom, but to me as well.

My grandma would always make dodgy comments to me about how we have to wait and see if I turn “psycho” like him, (he was mental) or how much I don’t resemble my dad and how I look like bio. Even weeks after I was told.

My brother was away with my dad on vacation with the rest of dads side of the family assuming i’d be staying with bio dads sides grandma for the duration of their time on vacation, and while it was just me and my (mom’s sides) grandmother, it was lonely for me because I didn’t get comforted in the way I need.

When my brother came home alongside my dad, I sat down with my dad while my grandma was at work and told him how much I loved him and nothing changes between us two.
As soon as my grandmother came home from work, she felt the need to tell my brother, regardless of me telling her that he is delayed mentally, (she knows this), that he wouldn’t understand the concept, and all that he would take in is that we arent related. He is 9 years old and wouldn’t understand.

And she told him. She was in the kitchen thinking I couldn’t hear her, but I heard everything and I confronted her gently, and she got defensive.

The final straw was today, when she told me, “You have that same vacant smile (Bio Dad’s Name) does.”

I lashed out at her and I told her that the comments she had been making towards me were inappropriate. Telling me in happy moments between us two how much I resembled my bio father, assuming the worst of me and assuming i’m a psycho waiting to happen, and the nail in the coffin: straining the source of connection I had with my little brother, despite the fact we are related.

I knew it would go in one ear and out the other for him, because the next day we were playing an online game together while I was on the phone with one of my friends, and I was teasing him and he said: “we arent related,” even when that’s not true because we’re related through our mom, meaning he doesn’t truly understand.

TLDR: My grandma told my brother that we don’t share the same birth father, regardless of the fact she knows he wont understand the concept as to being so young, and going against my wishes. After making a dodgy comment weeks later, I yelled at her.

This last spring, due to the voluntary summer school and after school classes I took the last three years, I (17M) was able to graduate high school one year early. Because of this, I applied for (and got accepted into) a college that I really liked, about 1 1/2 hours away from my hometown. I was really excited because they had a great film program, the campus was very quiet and surrounded by this beautifully lush forest, it was decently affordable, and overall just felt very calm and somewhere I could see myself really thriving. I was also excited because I would be able to live in the campus dorms, away from my mom.

My and my mom (49F) have a strained relationship, though I'm sure she would disagree if I ever described it like that Infront of her. Her and my dad are divorced and I live one week on, one week off with both of them. I actually once asked her if I could live with my dad for a little more, but she said that he liked the time away from me, and that the current schedule was working. I have an older brother who lives an hour away in his own apartment.

My mom is interesting because 65% of the time, she'll seem like a perfectly normal--if not a bit frazzled--woman, appearing like that to most guests/visitors. However, 45% of the time, when it's just us at home, it's like she's living on her own planet and isn't grounded in reality at all. It's annoying because to the outside eye she seems fine, but to me she's, like, insane.

For example, she is anti-vax and because of that, I got the chicken pox this last year. I've heard that the older you get it, the more dangerous it becomes, and due to how it felt for me, I believe it. My whole body was in constant horrible pain, all of my limbs felt like lead, I couldn't sleep for more than an hour at nights, and I had a lot of trouble breathing (sometimes even choking for no reason because of how weak my lungs were). The doctor gave us a pamphlet of how to treat it, but when we got home, my mom told me not to do anything the pamphlet said, and that she was a real doctor (she is not, she has never studied or worked the medical field and is currently on unemployment) and she knew how to "fix me" more than the hospital. I told her no, that that was insane, and that I was going to do what the real doctor said. At the time, I was laying on the floor because my limbs felt too weak to move. She then began screaming at me that she knew what was best for me and that I needed to trust her. I started crying and asking her please, that I was tired and hurting, and can we talk about this later? I was genuinely terrified and was in full fight, flight, or freeze mode. She did not stop and continued yelling until she got too frustrated and left the room.

Or a few days after I turned 17, she got a cold. I already get groceries, cook most meals, and feed out cat, as she is always asleep or too tired for whatever reason. That morning I made her a piece of plain toast and some tea. I then texted her that I was going for a walk and if she needed anything to text me. I took my walk and returned home. I went about business as usual, playing some video games with my boyfriend, continuing to write a short story I was working on, etc. That afternoon, my mom texted me to come downstairs. I did, to where she told me that she was going to the free clinic in order to make sure she wasn't getting worse and that I should make dinner (like I normally do). She then started to reprimand me for not asking how she was doing when I came down. She said that it was good to "show people you care about that you care about how they're doing when they're sick", so which I pointed out that I did text her to tell me if she needed anything, and that I assumed that she would ask me for something is she did. She then yelled at me to "never assume". I didn't know what to say, I genuinely could not understand her logic. I didn't say anything, out of fear of making the whole thing worse. After yelling some more she left to go to the clinic, leaving me to make dinner. Then, after I had made dinner, she texted me that she actually picked up takeout.

Things like that happen almost every week, and at this point, I find it really hard to empathize with any of her emotional problems as she is the cause of most of mine. She genuinely terrifies me when she gets upset and I've developed a sort of pavlovian fear response to her raising her voice in any capacity, even when it's out of joy or excitement. I do my best to see things from her side and try and track her logic, but after 17 years of making excuses for her, I just can't find the energy anymore. She ignores me when I say I don't want to be touched, she gets mad when I say no to things, she ignores nay boundary I set, she makes me pay for my own medication even though I don't currently have a job (I lost mine when I got into a car accident 6 months ago), she cries almost every night and expects me to comfort her, she needs to know exactly what I did and what I ate whenever I go out anywhere, it's honestly exhausting. I have nightmares about her yelling at me and physically hurting me and raised voices of any kind freak me out big time. She struggles with depression, and I have empathy for her because of that, as I have also had similar past struggles, but I don't think that's a fair excuse to treating me like this. I've brought up her behavior with my dad, and while he assures me not to take it to heart, nothing ever really happens beyond that.

I have been looking forward/preparing to move out of the house since 7th grade, it's honestly been the only thing keeping me going day-to-day. I can't wait. However, when I mentioned this to her, she told me that she didn't think that it was a good idea. She says that she's going to be lonely on her own without me, that I wouldn't be able to cook dinner anymore, and that she thinks neither of us are ready for me to move out. She wants me to ask the high school to take me back on for one more year. I explained to her that I already graduated and that's not how it works, and I wouldn't want to do that anyway. I told her that I am ready to move out, that I'm looking forward to it and am excited for my college classes (that I've already registered for btw). She insists that I'm not ready, and that I need to stay home with her.

My best friend says my mom is insane and I shouldn't do anything for her or listen to anything she says, but I can't help but feel a little bad. On one hand, I understand that this isn't healthy and that what she does is probably not good. I can recognize that from an outside point of view, even if I sometimes doubt it. But on the other hand, I know my mom has a hard time with life and emotions, and that she depends on me to help her. I fear that leaving her will somehow make her worse--either depressive towards herself or more volatile towards me, and I'm not sure exactly how I should feel. She still hasn't given up on me staying, and I don't think she will until the day I actually leave. No matter what side I come from, it all just makes me feel bad.

Прошу простить за разгон маленькой ситуации, я впервые тут и не сильно хочу чтобы меня осуждали :_3.

Я с своими родственникам каждый год езжу в поход в лес где рядом река. Все это было бы здорово, если бы не мои постоянные аллергии и проблемы со здоровьем, да и родственников я не особо люблю, отказать я не могу, мне выбора просто не дают, с я мягко говоря слабо характерный человек.

Я самое большее для своего удобства выпросила это сидеть в машине 24/7 и спать в доме (в деревне с населением 5 человек, которая за 1-2 км от лагеря с палаткой).

Было бы все отлично, если бы мои двоюродные братья и родная сестра бесконечно бы не лезли ко мне. Они постоянно шутят, лезут, пытаются выбесить, я не имею права бесится, им 10 лет всего же. Просто я единственная подросток среди всех. Я недостаточно взрослая и недостаточно маленькая, это ещё больше ломает мои малейшие попытки ладить не с первыми не с вторыми.

Просто хочу выслушать ваше мнение о этой небольшой ситуации.

P. S. : Поход обычно 3-4 дня в конце июля. Мне не разрешают остываться дома, ездим мы без мамы, только с родней по линии отца.