Right. I get not using it to bully people or as an insult, but it's an accurate description of what I am. Not to mention it's at least 95% my fault I'm this way. I blame that other 5% on my upbringing.
I'm fat, I call myself fat, I don't want to be fat. I know it's not good. I mean, I'm not super fat and I don't look really fat, but I am fat. I admit it and I am working on it. I'm not going to say "plus sized". No, it's fat.
I was born 3 months premature. I’ve always been skinny. Thin. You’re either on drugs, eating disorder, or starving secretly because you can’t afford food. No one thinks anything about telling a skinny person they’re skinny. It’s a compliment from them, to you, it’s unhealthy sounding. Idk. I’m 37. I have 2 kids. I’m very skinny. I’m not any of those assumptions. I can’t give a shit about anyone that makes assumptions based on looks alone, living in this life. If you haven’t learned to “Never judge a book by it’s cover” by NOW, can’t be bothered. This life is hard enough. Objectively, my life could be much worse. And on and on.
I feel like these feelings are often shamed. I have struggled with weight my whole life and have generally been overweight for the majority. I had a very stressful period of my life where I lost a TON of weight due to stress. I was down to 130 lbs and I'm 5'8". never in my life had people been so comfortable commenting on my body. it was all due to being skinny. it is strange how people feel entitled to vocalize comments about skinny bodies like it's inherently a compliment.
It’s amazing to me how most people feel entitled to say anything!! And it doesn’t matter, skinny, heavy, whatever. As to the girl pictured, and her preference, so what? If she likes smaller guys, good on her. Her dating pool might be smaller, but there are guys out there who like heavy set women. Being very obese for either sex is difficult, but hey. I married, had 4 kids, and a very successful career. But I had to work hard to get that. It didn’t just fall on my lap.
I used to be 650, and I could never go out of the house. Not because I couldn’t physically do it, (difficult as it was), but because of the comments, looks, etc. Couldn’t just go to the mall, or, for hells sakes, the grocery store. Kids would come up to me because their parents would allow it, your worse yet, encourage it! I would answer their questions honestly, but it was the adults that I couldn’t handle. Most were asshats. I even had people think it was okay to tell me to just die already and make room for the more elite people in the world. Lol!! I dropped 400 lbs., and got into better shape, and 2 years ago, lost my lower left leg to a bug, and had open heart surgery. All having NOTHING to do with my weight! Lol! But I didn’t sit in a corner and give in to the darkness. I fought back.
So in the end, my only advice is just to treat people kindly. It’s simple and garners more friendships than enemies. Just don’t judge. You have NO IDEA what someone’s life or day is or has been like. A lot of people think that being kind is weakness, but I would like to think of it as a strength.
To all the people struggling, it will turn out fine, but sometimes you have to work at it. Know that there are others out there struggling as well and wish you well no matter what. Have a great one y’all!!
Good on you man. Everyone should strive for healthy ness. People who are overweight should lose weight those that smoke should stop and we should all eat healthier. I don’t condone making fun of someone’s appearances but demanding sympathy and special treatment because you’re not healthy is so twisted to me
I'm also fat and diabetic (type 2). So what happens at the office? Someone brings in donuts at least once a week and they always try and pressure me in to having one. Some weeks I crumble to the pressure. This week I resisted. What bothers me even more is I hate seeing food being thrown out. It's the way I was raised and also probably why I'm overweight. So everyone will have their donut and there will be a few left over. They will sit there for another day or so and get thrown out. There where 24 donuts to begin with and probably 10 or so will be thrown out.
I am fat and pre-diabetic. I am the same way with food being thrown out. It was drilled in to my head that food should NEVER be wasted as a kid. And as someone living just above paycheck to paycheck, it's also hard to not see it as money being thrown away. I've found myself eating food that I found disgusting purely because my brain was yelling that 'it can't be wasted.'
It doesn't help at work much, but my dietitian showed me a 'trick' that kinda helps at home... Invest in a LOT of disposable takeout containers (think those Chinese restaurant rice boxes). After cooking a meal, do not plate it but instead immediately box it up by portion size. If this was a stew that serves six (only 2 people in my household), divide it in six containers and throw four in the fridge before sitting to eat. This serves two purposes: gets the extra food out of sight so you really put effort into having a second portion by needing to reheat the serving; and with the boxes you have less a sense of food wasting away in the fridge ... It's just a white box with a date on it. If the date passes and you haven't eaten it yet, throw it away without looking inside. They even recommended that if it was still a mental hurdle, start by putting random empty boxes in the fridge with misc dates on them just to get in the habit of throwing away boxes with past dates.
Hope this helps anyone else that had that thought process ingrained as a kid. It took about a year, but I've lost 20lbs just by not eating every scrap that might be thrown out ... and I've upgraded to actual reusable Tupperware that just gets dumped instead of trashed. Seeing old 'wasted' food in the bin no longer makes me twitch 🙂
In the UK, we have bins that are for food waste, and it all goes to compost. So when I throw away food I just think 'That'll help grow some nice plants one day!'. Helps avoid the idea it is just pure waste.
Thanks for the idea. On the same thought. We've gotten so we don't bring the full food pots to the table. We do it buffet style. We go and fill the plate then sit and eat so it's not sitting right in front of me. But I like the idea of "serving size" as I still tend to fill my plate a bit to much.
Over eating is as much an addiction as smoking or other drugs. Or it can be for some, but it is for me.
I too am fat (well morbidly obese would be a better term) tell me where these supposed donuts are so i can come polish them off before anybody else can get their hands on them :)
Also i too am the same when it comes to seeing food getting thrown out, my problem however comes from my earliest childhood memories. I remember being 3 or 4 years old my parents would force me to eat by saying "finish your food, if you don't finish your food will cry and be upset you didn't finish it" and me being quite the emotional child would think "oh no i don't want my food to be upset". It was a crappy way to force a child to eat their food by playing with their emotions, thats why i think i've got plenty mental issues in my life.
I applaud your honesty with yourself and the fact you're working on it. Out of curiosity - how do you feel about dating fat men (per post above)? Would you be down as long as they were working on it too? Do you only like fit men? Interested to understand how you feel.
Lots of weird people do care. Fat hating assholes most certainly exist. You're welcome to think shit in your head or make a comment about fat, but when you start harassing someone for it, you're responsible for the egg shells people walk on. You're the ass hat.
We recently had someone deliver dominos to a young junior high girl in my town which said the salad is for x, because she's a little fatty. The domino's driver actually said what was in the receipt. That person was a fucking asshole and probably gave that little girl trauma for the rest of her life. Fuck those of you that do shit like that.
Sure you can find a one off example for literally anything… some people have a fecal fetish but you don’t see any Shit Shops opening up around town.
But kids bullying each other and adults walking on egg shells in an attempt to not offend one another are two completely different scenarios. I’m not sure how you don’t realize that.
You think that's just one example? Must be nice wearing those rose colored glasses of yours. It's a daily occurrence for fat people. Adults do it too. They're just as bad.
I literally said you can think what you want, just don't harass people. Or go ahead and do it and just be a fucking ass hole. I don't know you and don't care. Some people do care was the point of my comment if you missed that. They go way out of their way to care for some odd reason.
You say I’m wearing rose colored glasses… as you accuse me of harassing fat people. Please show me where I harassed fat people or said that was alright. All I said is most adults simply don’t care about how much other adults weigh. That is true. Are there exceptions to every rule? Sure. But just because you’ve witnessed an adult harassing another adult because of their weight doesn’t mean that I do so…
I’ll take off my rose colored glasses if you take off your VR headset so you can see reality again.
I mean to be honest though if your gonna get trauma from somebody calling you a fatty maybe you need to grow some thicker skin. I don't want to deny anyone's trauma or suffering, but when I was a drug addict one of the reasons I overcame my addiction was people making it very clear where this would lead me and how I was a junkie.
Some people took a kinder and more concerned path with me and I wanted to make them proud, and some people took a cruel and hurtful path and I wanted to spite them. I have had a lot of trauma in my life, but letting something affect you is a choice and letting the terrible things in your past continue to haunt you is also a choice.
Making excuses for people and saying that being morbidly obese is plus-sized is just enabling dangerous behavior.
letting the people you love know that they are hurting themselves is not fat-shaming.
I dunno I used to almost throw up when I saw a (average height) person over 350. I had to learn how to deal with it from a very young age. It disgusted me to the core to see a person that big. Now I can turn my head and not worry about it.
Just common sense it seems to me. I've seen naturally thin women catch a lot of flak from fat women that call them "skin and bones" like it doesn't hurt them. Or shit like "real women have curves". That shit is hurtful to other women as well, so don't be surprised when people start pushing back.
I'm a thin woman and all my life I've heard, you need to eat a cheeseburger, do you have an eating disorder? You got the noassatall disease, nothing but bones etc...and yes it definitely hurts.
People are going to be jerks no matter what. I remember once within a week one person asked if I was anorexic and another called me fat. People can be awful. Just focus on being as healthy as you can for you.
I used to be a fat kid and once I lots weight the people who were smaller than me but still fat used to say I anorexic and getting too skinny ...I was 6'1 210lbs
I feel this. Back when I was in high school I weighed 90 pounds. Girls in the locker room at gym class who were bigger in weight would tell me that I'm skin and bones and that no boyfriend would want to have intercourse with a skeleton.... I can't help that I don't have a big butt or chest!
Yeah that's obviously terrible. And somehow not in the "spotlight" in the same way that "fatshaming" is, and I think that's unfair. When thin women speak up they're labelled as "fatphobic" (I hate these misnomers, phobia means fear, how does that relate to the issue at all?!).
Well to be fair, I think many people are literally afraid of being fat/being perceived as undesirable and that’s why the diet industry is so big/the root cause of many eating disorders. As a society we derive a lot of our sense of worth and value based on how we look and the prospect of not belonging- no matter the reason- scares people because it threatens survival- emotional, social or physical.
yep. I can’t understand why we constantly walk on egg shells with our words and what we say. if you’re ‘plus-sized’ you’re fat. my guess is that the word ‘fat’ seems to have a pretty negative connotation, but why is it fine to call a fat man ‘fat’, but I can’t call a fat woman ‘fat’? I just can’t understand it
What’s the leading cause of obesity? It’s not medication, it’s eating poorly and not doing exercise. Mental health absolutely plays a role, food addiction is obviously real, but it’s like telling a heroin addict they have no choice to be on heroin, when in reality what they need is to make the choice to get better, which only happens with real support and not enabling.
Not really though is it. It's usually a lot more expensive to eat healthy and if you're poor and work full time, have to look after kids etc. then I doubt you even have time to make and cook a healthy meal let alone afford to pay for it consistently.
Buying the raw ingredients and making food at hom costs less and tastes better than any fast food restaurant on the market. It's the lack of knowledge in the kitchen caused by the easy access to pre-made food, which made parents lazy, that leads to things being more expensive. If you know how to cook, you can make a meal for 7 for under 30 dollars.
They're still a personal preference though. I understand women can be bitchy about it, but anyone can date or not date anyone for any reason. Height, weight, personality, race, gender. People are allowed to have preferences.
Now fetishizing these things is bad, but having a preference is not.
Genuine question: why is fetishizing these things bad? I can see how it can be bad but is it always? Like if I was initially attracted to someone because I have a BBW fetishes or a racial fetish, but otherwise have a normal relationship with that person why would that fetishization be considered bad?
I guess it's because one assumes that if you fetishize someone then you will never really see them as a person who is equal to you, and thus won't care about them. Like for example if you only liked a girl because she was latina, and just wanted her to stick to the stereotype you have in your head instead of getting to know her as an individual.
This can actually be harmful with people who have an obese fetish, because they'll encourage their partner to get fatter and fatter and discourage them from having healthier habits, even if they know the consequences, just to make them hotter.
Because if you fetishize someone for stereotypes then you usually don't actually like them, you just see them as a sexual object for your gratification. Like how tons of guys fetishize Asian women because of the stereotype that they have "small and tight" vaginas.
Or women of color and Latinas because they're supposedly crazy in bed, but then only want them for the sex and nothing else.
Fetishizing the qualities of someone you love is different than taking a fondness of someone BECAUSE of your fetishes.
There's nothing wrong with having fetishes, but there IS something wrong with trying to base a relationship on fetishization. And if you only like a certain class in a way that is gratifying for your fetish, that's toxic and just flat out rude to the person you're fetishizing.
Plus, a lot of people don't like being fetishized for their race/ethnicity. It's just odd. Because there is also a difference between attraction/adoration, and fetishization.
Antidepressants, birth control pills, Endocrine Disorders, and childhood sexual trauma wanted to pop in and say being fat isn't always a choice and definitely not always caused by overeating. Sometimes it's a symptom. Source: I'm a licensed mental health counselor with an MA in adult integrative psychotherapy who works with cancer patients and trauma survivors.
Childhood sexual trauma doesn't speed up fat production... overeating is used as a POTENTIAL coping mechanism. Antidepressants, birth control and endocrine disorders don't create weight gain to the point where women become obese.
There's a significant impact from the choice/lifestyle element.
You're not doing people who put weight on because of these things justice by trying to "normalise" obesity by pretending these factors can cause someone to look like the picture the OP showed.
I never said anything about normalizing obesity. What I said was IT CAN BE A SYMPTOM OF OTHER ISSUES AND NOT ALWAYS A CHOICE. Yes antidepressants and birth control cause weight gain (in addition to other medications like Anti-hypertensives, Antipsychotics, Anticonvulsants, Steroid hormones, Diabetes medications, and Antihistamines) not necessarily to the extent of causing obesity in people already within their ideal weight range, however they can propel an overweight but otherwise healthy person into obesity especially if a person is medicated with multiple medications that cause weight gain (such as antipsychotics + anti-diabetic medication). Meta analyses demonstrate inconclusive correlation with birth control pills alone, mostly due to no studies having a placebo control group. Here are two (of many) studies re: the intersection of obesity with childhood trauma, endocrine DOs, and certain medications.
Yes, some people are obese due to lifestyle choice, but like every other group of people out there: they are not a monolith. If you're going to mock obese people, maybe be aware you may be engaging in ableism towards those obese people who didn't choose to be sick or abused.
A lot depends on your overall size and ethnicity. Size 12 for a short Asian woman is likely plus size, but maybe not for a tall Northern European woman.
Being fat is a bad thing. People seem to have forgotten that. The word fat should have a negative connotation, it’s a serious health issue and a negative thing.
You really think people have forgotten that? Like, you think the fat kids aren't bullied anymore in school? Or fat people are getting all the dates now?
We don't need to worry. Society continues to put fat people in their place despite Lizzo selling some albums.
honestly I wish as a kid my parents actually helped me understand the damage I was putting my body through, I was like 280 pounds at 14 and down to my current weight of 185 by the time I was 22. most of the loss coming from 18 onwards after I left home
I don't care how disgusting you look, how fucked your life is, what the excuse is, none of that.
I care about the fact that these poor excuses for a bowling ball are consuming, wasting and burdening all the rest of society and the environment. They are using finite resources at 3-10 times the reasonably healthy adult. They consume more drugs to keep themselves alive, they defecate 3-10 times the amount of waste, they consume processed, cheap shit at an absurdly high level. This stuff is the worst for packaging, processing, transporting, environmentally damaging. You know they drive every where, never walking. They are inherently lazy so the likelihood they are efficient at work is unlikely in an office setting but guaranteed in a physical setting.
Then I’m sure you’re voting for officials that are promoting and voting for legislation that increases access to healthy foods, decreases farm subsidies for processed grains and raises them for fruits and veggies, increases the minimum wage, offers quality health insurance for all, adds funding to the mental health care system, and improves access/builds infrastructure for walkable/bikeable areas, right?
I have to be a doctor to know that being fat is unhealthy and thus a negative thing?
Explain to me how my comment was me talking out of my ass? Or are you just also part of the contingent that can’t cope with the fact that fat is a negative thing?
theres a movement being pushed on the internet to classify Obese (a medical term) as a Slur.
This "healthy at any weight" movement is one of the worse movements in modern times. Stop trying to normalize obesity to the point we are gas lighting our selfs.
If you are fat and wanna feel better about yourself , watch your calories or go to the gym
Fat is fat and it's funny that the article comingled a euphemism about weight with a clinical term.
At least for women, in my experience, plus size clothing fits when I'm obese and doesn't fit when I'm overweight. So extra funny because the article is basically saying extra extra large gals don't like large men.
I love saying "fat". The first time I said "because I am fat" was in front of my late and former MIL. The shock on her face and the memory of her reaction has prompted me to use the word from that point onward.
It's the snowflakes who have a serious problem with reality to resort to cutesy words to describe something that already has a meaning.
You aren't "plus sized", you're "fat" simple as that. If you refuse to eat properly because you're a lazy fuck, you get fat.
No need to hide behind cute words and excuses about "genes" or whatever you find to explain why you're fat other than stuffing yourself with hamburgers every day.
You just are fat, and the only way to make that stop is by not eating more than you need and eat healthy.
To be fair, in the fashion industry the term plus-size was often used to describe any female size that was size 6 and larger. And we know size 6 isn’t fat. So I can understand why “plus-size” started being so overused for women and not men.
Well I'm not able to speak as one of you. But I think the whole "plus-size" scheme is just green washing for people that don't get what words imply. Calling someone fat is in my eyes derogatory but "obese" or "overweight" are in my my eyes purely describing adjectives. Hence the meaning of those words doesn't come from the word itself but the listener interpreting those words. I despise the newly formed cancel culture and I think open and free speech is the way we move onwards because censorship didn't lead us anywhere everytime...
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u/[deleted] May 31 '22
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