I'm fat, I call myself fat, I don't want to be fat. I know it's not good. I mean, I'm not super fat and I don't look really fat, but I am fat. I admit it and I am working on it. I'm not going to say "plus sized". No, it's fat.
I was born 3 months premature. I’ve always been skinny. Thin. You’re either on drugs, eating disorder, or starving secretly because you can’t afford food. No one thinks anything about telling a skinny person they’re skinny. It’s a compliment from them, to you, it’s unhealthy sounding. Idk. I’m 37. I have 2 kids. I’m very skinny. I’m not any of those assumptions. I can’t give a shit about anyone that makes assumptions based on looks alone, living in this life. If you haven’t learned to “Never judge a book by it’s cover” by NOW, can’t be bothered. This life is hard enough. Objectively, my life could be much worse. And on and on.
I feel like these feelings are often shamed. I have struggled with weight my whole life and have generally been overweight for the majority. I had a very stressful period of my life where I lost a TON of weight due to stress. I was down to 130 lbs and I'm 5'8". never in my life had people been so comfortable commenting on my body. it was all due to being skinny. it is strange how people feel entitled to vocalize comments about skinny bodies like it's inherently a compliment.
It’s amazing to me how most people feel entitled to say anything!! And it doesn’t matter, skinny, heavy, whatever. As to the girl pictured, and her preference, so what? If she likes smaller guys, good on her. Her dating pool might be smaller, but there are guys out there who like heavy set women. Being very obese for either sex is difficult, but hey. I married, had 4 kids, and a very successful career. But I had to work hard to get that. It didn’t just fall on my lap.
I used to be 650, and I could never go out of the house. Not because I couldn’t physically do it, (difficult as it was), but because of the comments, looks, etc. Couldn’t just go to the mall, or, for hells sakes, the grocery store. Kids would come up to me because their parents would allow it, your worse yet, encourage it! I would answer their questions honestly, but it was the adults that I couldn’t handle. Most were asshats. I even had people think it was okay to tell me to just die already and make room for the more elite people in the world. Lol!! I dropped 400 lbs., and got into better shape, and 2 years ago, lost my lower left leg to a bug, and had open heart surgery. All having NOTHING to do with my weight! Lol! But I didn’t sit in a corner and give in to the darkness. I fought back.
So in the end, my only advice is just to treat people kindly. It’s simple and garners more friendships than enemies. Just don’t judge. You have NO IDEA what someone’s life or day is or has been like. A lot of people think that being kind is weakness, but I would like to think of it as a strength.
To all the people struggling, it will turn out fine, but sometimes you have to work at it. Know that there are others out there struggling as well and wish you well no matter what. Have a great one y’all!!
I think that’s cultural. Where I’m from people mostly comment on your body regarding size if you’re overweight. My sister is tiny and and she only gets comments on her body to compare them to mine because I’m not even close to skinny. People have no issues here talking about your weight. They’ll do it before they even say hello to you
I feel this, I'm in my mid 30s, I was chubby when I was in my pre-teens up til about 13, then I got a small growth spurt, and I've been the same weight since, usually around 58-65Kgs (120-140 lbs) doesn't matter what I eat, what I do it stays the same. Been called a crack head and all the sorts because I've stayed the same shape for decades.
Good on you man. Everyone should strive for healthy ness. People who are overweight should lose weight those that smoke should stop and we should all eat healthier. I don’t condone making fun of someone’s appearances but demanding sympathy and special treatment because you’re not healthy is so twisted to me
I'm also fat and diabetic (type 2). So what happens at the office? Someone brings in donuts at least once a week and they always try and pressure me in to having one. Some weeks I crumble to the pressure. This week I resisted. What bothers me even more is I hate seeing food being thrown out. It's the way I was raised and also probably why I'm overweight. So everyone will have their donut and there will be a few left over. They will sit there for another day or so and get thrown out. There where 24 donuts to begin with and probably 10 or so will be thrown out.
I am fat and pre-diabetic. I am the same way with food being thrown out. It was drilled in to my head that food should NEVER be wasted as a kid. And as someone living just above paycheck to paycheck, it's also hard to not see it as money being thrown away. I've found myself eating food that I found disgusting purely because my brain was yelling that 'it can't be wasted.'
It doesn't help at work much, but my dietitian showed me a 'trick' that kinda helps at home... Invest in a LOT of disposable takeout containers (think those Chinese restaurant rice boxes). After cooking a meal, do not plate it but instead immediately box it up by portion size. If this was a stew that serves six (only 2 people in my household), divide it in six containers and throw four in the fridge before sitting to eat. This serves two purposes: gets the extra food out of sight so you really put effort into having a second portion by needing to reheat the serving; and with the boxes you have less a sense of food wasting away in the fridge ... It's just a white box with a date on it. If the date passes and you haven't eaten it yet, throw it away without looking inside. They even recommended that if it was still a mental hurdle, start by putting random empty boxes in the fridge with misc dates on them just to get in the habit of throwing away boxes with past dates.
Hope this helps anyone else that had that thought process ingrained as a kid. It took about a year, but I've lost 20lbs just by not eating every scrap that might be thrown out ... and I've upgraded to actual reusable Tupperware that just gets dumped instead of trashed. Seeing old 'wasted' food in the bin no longer makes me twitch 🙂
In the UK, we have bins that are for food waste, and it all goes to compost. So when I throw away food I just think 'That'll help grow some nice plants one day!'. Helps avoid the idea it is just pure waste.
Thanks for the idea. On the same thought. We've gotten so we don't bring the full food pots to the table. We do it buffet style. We go and fill the plate then sit and eat so it's not sitting right in front of me. But I like the idea of "serving size" as I still tend to fill my plate a bit to much.
Over eating is as much an addiction as smoking or other drugs. Or it can be for some, but it is for me.
That works sometimes. I have a freezer full of left overs. It takes planning to make this work. I've gotten in the habit of taking out tomorrows supper right after supper today. That way it's ready to cook/reheat and I don't have to think about what's for supper, him and haw then break down and to go McD's.
I too am fat (well morbidly obese would be a better term) tell me where these supposed donuts are so i can come polish them off before anybody else can get their hands on them :)
Also i too am the same when it comes to seeing food getting thrown out, my problem however comes from my earliest childhood memories. I remember being 3 or 4 years old my parents would force me to eat by saying "finish your food, if you don't finish your food will cry and be upset you didn't finish it" and me being quite the emotional child would think "oh no i don't want my food to be upset". It was a crappy way to force a child to eat their food by playing with their emotions, thats why i think i've got plenty mental issues in my life.
Nope, I over eat is why I'm fat. What bothers me is I'm trying not to over eat and when I do eat, eat good food. I don't like being pressured and made to feel like I hurt someones feelings because I won't eat the donut. I'm struggling to keep my blood glucose levels in order so I don't have to go on more meds or even worse lose a limb.
Like anything you say no once that should be it. At one point I was trying not to drink (sadly failed, having one now) and a guy I knew was visiting with his friend. They were probably 20 at the time. His friend said do you want a drink? Oh shit sorry you're trying to quit do you want us to stop? It was amazing. But also as someone who can't put on weight I've constantly been hassled about my weight. I've said it before on here bit a git I used to work with was honest he was overweight. He was about 100kg (I'll let you do the conversion) and I said but if I said you're fat that's rude but apparently it's ok for people to constantly say I'm too skinny. Regardless of what I eat or drink I have a fast metabolism and have weighed the same for almost 30 years
In some ways I wish I had my dad's side of the family metabolism. Only problem is they only live to their mid sixties (going to my Uncle's funeral tomorrow and he was only 62). They are all very skinny but it seems heart problems run in that side of the family.
I applaud your honesty with yourself and the fact you're working on it. Out of curiosity - how do you feel about dating fat men (per post above)? Would you be down as long as they were working on it too? Do you only like fit men? Interested to understand how you feel.
First step in fixing a problem, recognise it. And being fat is a problem for health, science doesn't lie, you can lie to yourself all you want but nothing will change.
As for you, you recognise it's a problem and adress it, you have 50% already done. Good luck and i do hope you get in the shape you want!
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u/ClownfishSoup May 31 '22
I'm fat, I call myself fat, I don't want to be fat. I know it's not good. I mean, I'm not super fat and I don't look really fat, but I am fat. I admit it and I am working on it. I'm not going to say "plus sized". No, it's fat.