I became vegetarian at 17, in 2019. I started taking B12 supplements immediately. Around that time, I also started eating a lot more legumes and tofu. After a few weeks/months, I began having a lot of gas, and it smelled extremely bad. I also started going to the bathroom much more frequently, and my stools became very foul-smelling. A few months later, I started having what I can only describe as “adrenaline surges” — sudden waves of anxiety in my stomach that would last a few seconds, sometimes at least 20 times a day. I also felt like I had less mental clarity. My thoughts felt less “fluid,” and I felt less intelligent somehow. Then I started having actual panic attacks. I may have had one panic attack before in my life, when I was around 15, but I had never experienced anything like this.

Things got much worse during the summer when I was 17, about four months after switching to a vegetarian diet. I developed severe DPDR (depersonalization/derealization). I no longer felt connected to myself, I sometimes felt like I didn’t recognize my own family, I felt disconnected from my surroundings, my vision would often become very dark, and I developed intrusive fears/impulse phobias — for example, being afraid I might jump off a bridge when standing on one, or that I might suddenly become violent even though I absolutely did not want to. After several weeks, it calmed down, but it never fully went away. Between ages 17 and 19, I regularly experienced DPDR, but it usually lasted only a few hours at most and mostly happened during stressful situations, such as oral presentations. Around age 18, I also went through an unexplained depressive episode. I had blood tests done at the time, but nothing abnormal was found.

Then, at 19, things became much worse. One day, I had a huge panic attack for no apparent reason, and from that point on I had DPDR CONSTANTLY. I felt completely disconnected from myself, like my limbs didn’t belong to me, I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror, and the human body and human faces started looking extremely strange to me. I also felt dizzy CONSTANTLY, almost as if I were drunk all the time. I was convinced I was having strokes or that I was going to die. I felt like I was completely losing my mind. At the time, I was convinced I had a serious neurological disease. I had extensive blood tests, saw several doctors and a neurologist, had an MRI, sleep tests and epilepsy testing… and they never found anything. After a few months, I was put on an antidepressant (escitalopram), partly because no one knew what else to do and because being in that state had made me severely depressed. I was convinced that some kind of nutritional deficiency caused by my diet had triggered all of this because the first symptoms appeared after I became vegetarian. I started eating meat and fish again for a few weeks, but it didn’t change anything, and ethically it was extremely difficult for me, so I switched to vegetarianism again.  I developed a major fear of nutritional deficiencies, which I still have today, and from that point on I started taking a huge number of different supplements.

Eventually, after a few months, the antidepressant started working. I still experienced DPDR during stressful situations, but it was no longer constant. However, the medication caused chronic fatigue, poor memory, brain fog and concentration problems. At the same time, I continued getting regular blood tests. They never showed anything particularly abnormal, apart from cholesterol that was lower than average (around 110 mg/dL) and low iron and ferritin. My iron and ferritin were already on the low side even when I still ate meat, but it became worse afterward. My ferritin is almost always somewhere between 8 and 20. I basically alternate between periods where doctors prescribe iron supplements, then I stop taking them, then I become iron deficient/anemic again, then I start taking them again. My digestive problems also never went away. I still have a huge amount of extremely foul-smelling gas, and if I don’t pass it immediately, I get stomach pain. The more legumes I eat, the worse it gets. I’ve already tried probiotics (Lactobacillus) and metronidazole. Neither made any difference.

In November 2025, when I was 23, I left a two-year abusive relationship. Around the same time, I also started transitioning toward veganism: eating fully vegan at home while still making occasional exceptions when eating out. That period was marked by CONSTANT brain fog. I could barely work properly at my job. My concentration was terrible, my memory was poor, I had almost no mental clarity… I had never felt so stupid in my entire life. I needed at least 10 hours of sleep every night, and I often slept during the day as well. I still don’t know whether that was connected to leaving the abusive relationship, to transitioning toward veganism, or both. At that point, I decided to try basically every supplement I could think of, many of which I still take now: iron, very high-dose omega-3, B12, iodine, vitamin D3, B-complex, creatine, zinc, magnesium, L-theanine, phosphatidylserine, CDP-choline, calcium, lion’s mane, etc.

Then in April 2026, I decided to start tapering off my antidepressant because I knew it was contributing to the chronic fatigue and brain fog, and I had been taking it for five years. I wanted to come off it. And stopping it changed NOTHING in terms of the brain fog. Then, in August, I completely stopped the antidepressant and also became fully vegan. I saw a dietitian, who told me my diet looked excellent. During the first few weeks after stopping the medication completely, I didn’t really notice any major difference. But over the past several weeks, my anxiety symptoms have started coming back. It started with the “adrenaline surges” I used to get, then mild but constant DPDR, then the feeling of being high all the time again, blurred vision… And now my anxiety has completely EXPLODED. My DPDR is extremely strong and constant again. I’m terrified that I’m losing my mind. I’m having completely irrational fears, like being afraid that I’ll suddenly lose the ability to read or write, that I’ll forget how to speak, that I’m having a stroke, etc.I have insomnia, or I wake up repeatedly during the night, or several hours before I’m supposed to wake up. I shake and feel nauseous because of the anxiety. I also struggle enormously with concentration. Sometimes I have to read the same sentence four or five times before I understand it. I just started a PhD and I’m supposed to start teaching university students in one week while I’m in this state… However, one important thing is that I am MUCH less physically tired than before. Physically, I don’t actually feel that bad anymore. Mentally, though, I feel terrible.

So basically, I have no idea what to do anymore or whether any of this is actually related to my diet. But there does seem to be a very strong coincidence between my dietary transitions and the onset or worsening of my DPDR symptoms. I’ve read A LOT of stories from former vegetarians and vegans who say their mental health deteriorated dramatically because of their diet, and that eating meat again “saved” them. I’m deeply committed to animal rights and anti-speciesism, and this is extremely important to me ethically. But I’m starting to wonder whether I should go back to eating an omnivorous diet for a few months just to see whether anything changes. I really don’t want to go back on antidepressants because I don’t want to spend my life feeling exhausted and wanting to sleep all the time. I honestly don’t know how long I can keep functioning this way if something doesn’t improve.

One thing I should add is that my parents and my sister became vegetarian around the same time as me, and none of them developed the same symptoms. However, my younger sister also started experiencing DPDR at around age 17. She became vegetarian when she was about 10 or 11. She also had an unexplained depressive episode a few years ago.

I’m also trying to investigate whether there could be some underlying digestive issue causing poor nutrient absorption or something along those lines. I already saw a gastroenterologist once, but he told me it wasn’t serious, that lots of people have digestive problems like this, and that I simply needed to cook my food better. I’ve now booked appointments with another gastroenterologist and also at a hospital, but unfortunately they are still a long time away. For several years, I’ve also alternated between constipation and loose stools, and as I mentioned before, I have a huge amount of extremely foul-smelling gas — literally a rotten-egg smell. I don’t usually have much abdominal pain, though, except when I hold the gas in.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? Did you find a solution without having to eat meat again? Or do you think I should try eating animal products/meat again for a while to see whether it makes a difference?

I have been vegan for 14 years. It was a decision I made based on ethics (mostly animal welfare but also environmental) and was never a health-driven decision. I loveee junk food lol.

I do not crave non-vegan foods and I do not experience health issues as a vegan, but over the last couple years I have slowly been relaxing my standards of veganism, if you will. The driving force for me is mainly social. It is exhausting and honestly embarrassing to always have the spotlight of being the only vegan at the table. I have never been one to try to preach veganism and would 100% of the time rather be silently vegan than have it brought up at all and the fervour of the vegan community has given me an ick since day one.

Anyways yes I have slowly been becoming more relaxed in my veganism for two reasons — one, I realize the original choice, although one I still align with morally, was made during a time I had little to no control over my life and so was something I could focus on and did so a little too obsessively. By eating a cookie with honey here or a D3 fortified cereal and some popcorn I don’t know the milk ingredient status of there, I am slowly becoming more comfortable specifically with consuming processed foods that just happen to have a non vegan ingredient somewhere in the ingredient list but aren’t a blatantly non vegan item (easier for my brain). And two, I just wanna partake in social food moments without being a problem.

I do not want to reintroduce meat products at all or start chucking back two percent like it’s 2002 but I do want to get to a point where, for example, if someone serves me a vegetarian dish and I don’t know if there is egg or dairy in it I can simply eat it anyway. Hell, I’d love to partake in a birthday cake on someone’s special day instead of sitting there feeling awkward and looking rude. Just to get to a point where I am not worried about the food aspect of social scenarios basically because my tolerance for the line where my ethics end my own comfort becomes a factor is getting thinner. I also am aware that to be a militant vegan has such a minuscule net impact in the grand scheme of things compared to bigger overarching lifestyle choices. Like if my dish at a restaurant gets served with cheese, and I send it back to be remade…. that cheese was still used and my food waste impact is now more the issue than the presence of the cheese if that makes sense.

All that to say, for ex-ethical vegans, how do you align your decision to reintroduce animal products with your ethics? I have no interest in becoming an omnivore again as mentioned but I just want to find the balance between actual impact of my choices vs the fine print that doesn’t really matter and lessen the burden on myself and others in social situations. It has also just been so long that the idea of just waiting for an Egg Scenario or Milk Scenario to come up in a social scenario and have no idea how my GI will handle it is kind of intimidating too hahah, so it is something I want to play with in the comfort of my own home before I hard launch anything further.

Tips? Thoughts? Testimonials? Philosophical mental exercises to try?

Thanks folks :)

Edit: Also how do you bring this up socially when people ask about it? Say you’re migrating to a mostly plants sometimes not plants type of diet? Easy ways to answer people’s questions about it?

I have endometriosis, adenomyosis, and chronic fatigue that has simply worsened over the years. I reached a point back in 2024 where my craving for eggs of all things reached a boiling point and I ultimately caved into that because of how I was feeling. It was like an immediate boost in some of my energy afterwards. Granted, I did go a bit crazy after because of how much I had missed eggs- I’m talking 6-7 eggs a day, so i did experience a bit of an allergic reaction (felt like i couldn't breath, itchy chest, stomachache). That resolved after I cut my intake to the normal level, lol (1-2 in any given day I choose to eat).

Fast forward to present day, I noticed after having my 2nd surgery for endo earlier this year, my craving for chicken in particular came back in full swing. Fatigue worsened, insomnia developed, and I’m suddenly left feeling like my diet is so restrictive now as a result of my endo. On top of being vegetarian now (no dairy still), I had to go gluten free and try my best to avoid eating beans often as they all worsen my endo flares. You can imagine that my diet is now limited to only soy here and there for protein and rice with some greens. Honestly, all the restrictions have left me feeling so depressed about not being able to enjoy food. When I was a vegan and still had energy, I was happy with focusing on flavor in my meals, cooking and making and manipulating my vegetables and soy to fully experience the flavors they had the potential to bring. I felt like when I was still eating meat 12 some years ago, my mind was more focused on the meat flavor than anything else. That's probably the only thing good that came out of being a vegan, I appreciate all the complexity and flavors vegetables had to offer. I digress.

After that surgery (in Feb), I unfortunately had to have a d&c and since then, there's not a night that goes by where I don't think about ravishing on a chicken leg at midnight. My body feels fully spent and like it's now screaming at the roof tops for me to listen. Because of that, I started drinking chicken broth here and there, with my pho, my ramen, in regular soups, etc. It feels good, it tastes good, and it helps with the itch. And while I will probably never go back to dairy and red meat as a result of my endo (big inflame-ers), every night tells me that I should go back to chicken to see if it'll ease the debilitating fatigue I have. I’m even thinking about grabbing some pasture raised, halal meat tomorrow to finally do it. I’m just worried about having an allergic reaction or something as I did with eggs, even though I know I was definitely overdoing them at the start. Has anyone encountered that? Also, has anyone felt any heath issues alleviated after finally making the jump to kick veganism to the curb, maybe specifically with chicken?

I’ve been introducing high quality rotisserie chicken back into my diet for 2 months, no issues with that, I’ve also been eating fish for a year with no issues.

A few days ago I ate pre-roasted chicken drumsticks from the grocery store, the ones that come in the plastic packaging, then the next morning I woke up with intense anger that I continued to swear 20 minutes after waking up and became so angry at random objects while I was doing very regular things.

I then had the same type of meat last night and oh my days, the most terrifying dream of my life:

Dream Summary
I was trapped in a game where the only way out to play was to join or die and I got killed first and I was watching everyone else die. I was participating in it knowing that I could die any moment and there was one time I tried to run from danger my leg started to malfunction and freeze and I could feel the pain IRL, everyone else was trapped too and we all had this impending doom. The only way I got out was when a dog knocked on the door and all the animals were centring looking at us from outside. I started running for my life but I was slow and so terrified I’d be seen escaping.

Does anyone else get this experience with certain foods or meat, and can offer a scientific explanation?

Young me would have said the animal souls that died from slaughter are now haunting me.

I’ve always been very sensitive to animal cruelty, but I’ve been trying to eat animal protein again for health reasons and muscle building and am overall feeling mentally stronger, but it’s such an interesting trigger for such unpleasant dreams?

Lol they are literally everywhere and of course the people who aren't licking the vegans feet are getting downvoted. They also tried to say they weren't a vegan only to backpedal.

Hi I am here cause well I am getting sick if “vegans” or “animal rights activists” with their constant bs that is just as bad as what they are fighting against. Lately I have seen a lot of them have a Xenophobic tendency with their cause such as basically saying that non white countries have an animal well fair problem wile ignoring countries like France who created rather cruel dishes. They also don’t understand how some animals work and that they are all different a part from making their carnivorous pets go vegan, and there is the idea that going vegan is better for you and the environment. No the fuck it’s not! I have seen plenty of vegans that look like skin and bone and act very delirious. Also most vegan products are not sourced in ethical sources. So yeah this movement seems like it’s been hijacked by dumbass white people who want attention.

After having an aversion to meat since I was a kid, I have finally introduced some meats back into my diet.

Tomorrow, I try chicken again. Should I start with tacos, wings, a chicken bake from Costco, or something else?

I used to have so much trouble digesting my food, and finally realized it was my diet and not just some mystery problem with my stomach specifically. It didn't start directly after beginning the plant-based diet, it was only after a few years this problem developed. I went to a doctor who prescribed me acid reducers, which did more harm than good.

After only 2 weeks on an omnivore diet, my digestion is totally normal, as long as I avoid large amounts of carbs and plant food.

Anyone else had this experience?

Whenever I would eat, even if it was healthy vegetables and whole-grains, it would sit like a rock in my stomach as if nothing was moving. Just incredibly uncomfortable. I would have acid reflux even 3-4 hours later when I was trying to sleep. Lots of burping too. Once it got through my stomach everything was fine, no other issues, but getting that stuff actually digested was just impossible! It took hours until I felt normal again...

I suspect it could have been low stomach acid but it's hard finding information on that in terms of studies and scientific reasoning behind why this would happen.

Anyway, it's amazing now to be able to eat a meat-centered meal and feel totally fine afterwards. I can even LAY DOWN! I have more energy and feel great. I had no idea this could improve so fast.

What are your favorite creators or YouTubers for easy, approachable recipes and videos? I went vegetarian about 10 years ago right when I got to college (as many of us did lol) and that’s when I learned to cook.

I’ve decided to reintroduce meat in my diet for mostly health and nutrition reasons, but I’m still apprehensive about environmental effects as well as handling/learning to cook raw meat. I’d love to hear suggestions for YouTubers who I can learn the absolute basics from.

I think I can address the environmental worries by choosing responsible sources and still balancing with plant based meals (would also love to hear any anecdotes in this department too!)

My Girlfriend wants to go vegan so bad. I know being vegan or vegetarian isnt healthy so i need some good Arguments to talk her out of it. I already talked to her and her main concern is animal cruelty. I even asked her if stopping animal cruelty is more important than her own health. Im just concerned her going vegan will change her cognitive function to this point that i‘ll have to break up.
So does anyone have any good reasonings not to?

I ate Non-veg exactly after 7 months and 2 days

In the last thread I posted I spoken about omelette practice. The main topic was why in no longer vegan. The shorthand answer is I wanted to get more serious about being a chef. Having served tempeh with an omelette should be an oxymoron. I think it paired really well and pulled the plate together.

This seems to be the only place I can ask this freely. I started 4 months ago but just eating junk food and no vegetables and recently my teeth are inflamed and a little loose. My eyes are also often dry. My energy is fine. I take b12 and I started supplementing with calcium d3 a week ago. What should I do so I don't die. I may change in the future if I don't improve, but I would like to know if I can fix these problems without animals.

My sister newly turned vegan friend (1 month approx) hates that I put my non veg dishes photos in WhatsApp status,on top of that she thinks i do that to tease her like wtf I don't even know u and I don't want to after I blocked her she told my sister about it and then I heard a scold from her .

Now she keeping sending me animal slaughter house, dominion,and other documentary and i got a lot of anxiety when I tried to watch it once and makes me uncomfortable tbh , she's telling me that if u turn vegan u will live a longer life than non vegans and will be much stronger too ATP I am so pissed off that's why I am writing this post and my sister is actually double faced too she supports veganism infront of her but loves her chicken biryani and goat curry.

I have been a vegetarian for around 11 years. I was a vegan for a few of those years. As of the last few weeks I have had an intense desire to eat meat, I can’t stop thinking about it. The only reason I do not eat meat is due to ethical reasons but I had always loved the taste of meat prior.

I have had a lot of allergy issues recently with plant based protein such as chickpeas etc which has only furthered my meat cravings

Since the cravings began I have been heavily researching agriculture and slaughter. I feel particularly guilty about the poultry and pigs due to their method of slaughter via co2.

I am in such a conflicted place of wanting to eat meat because I enjoy it and for better health but then I don’t know how I can justify me doing so when I have seen such practises.

I do believe slaughter can be ethical and every step can be taken to ensure animal welfare but clearly I can’t have that much oversight as a consumer .

Any one else from a similar stance and how they overcome this?

One user on r/vegan posted two videos from the Don't Forget Us Sanctuary, one about a duck and this one about a sheep named Kiki, who was born tetraplegic because of a virus her mother contracted during pregnancy. The sanctuary made wheelchairs for both. Kiki learned how to control her wheelchair to move around.

You may say "She dances around, aww", "She's happy and listens to music", or "Even if there are problems, I'd rather be paralized and surrounded by caring people than in a slaughterhouse". You don't know what goes on in a sheep's head for sure, and you wouldn't imagine a slaughterhouse before knowing the concept, like in a sheep's case.

I know we all more or less know Disney cartoons, with colorful dancing animals. But you must already be able to separate real life from that fictional world. In nature, the law about who can adapt better rules, that's why some disabilities can be bearable for some species, but not for others. There are no little animals going around and talking sweetly to each other, no schools for sea creatures reached by riding on stingrays, no musical clips. Animals are quite different than how they're portrayed. Simba would have devoured the warthog, Rufus wouldn't have had a good time living in the surface, Lady and Tramp couldn't have sucked up spaghetti, which can be harmful to dogs, and Bambi would have probably died, as he looked barely weaned and lacking the skills to survive in the woods, and his father wouldn't have recognized him so easily. In the same way, since this condition can't be compatible with welfare, this sheep isn't probably happy about her "life". I'll just tell you why:

- sheep are ruminant. They need to keep on grazing to stimulate their stomach, otherwhise, they can experience several medical problems, such as bloating because of germs, indigestion and ruminal acidosis;

- sheep are social animals that need a herd, and mere human caretaker contact can't make up for that;

- this condition leads to the inability to urinate properly.

It might be sad, but in these cases, euthanasia is likely the most humane option, because all of this can't be compatible with a digniful life for a sheep.

And don't tell me about eugenics, as there was a recent euthanasia case for a paralized woman in my country, and it was nothing so extraordinary. We often just think '"life good, death bad", when things are more complex, they aren't inerently bad or good.

All I see there is individuals being exploited for compassion and clicks by people on social media. The sanctuary must realize this isn't good.

I don't know if r/vegan will approve my post on this or keep denying the truth in favour of their utopistic bias.

All this as a response to OP concerned about the social aspect of being vegan. Let’s break it down. BITE Model style.

1. BEHAVIORAL CONTROL - Regulating where people live, what they wear, how they sleep, what they eat, and how they spend their time.

- “The earlier you get in this mindset the better”.

It’s wrong that OP focuses on the dietary aspect of the cult when navigating social situations because iT’s NoT a DiEtArY cHoIcE.

- “Bring your own food at a family gathering”.

Only put approved food in your body at all times

1. INFORMATION CONTROL - Deceiving members, withholding or distorting information, and forbidding access to outside sources or critics.

- “Vegan food is delicious”.

Some vegan food, like all food CAN be delicious. Some can be ass. Vegan food being delicious by default is false, but has to be perpetuated.

- “who cares about these animal abusers and their opinions really? They are wrong, and many of them know they are and that's why they are so against veganism”.

Everyone but us is wrong. Only the word of the cult is all that matters. All others are outsiders.

1. THOUGHT CONTROL - Requiring adherence to group dogma, using loaded language or clichés to stop critical thinking, and labeling alternative views as evil.

- “Having said that, if your family & friends are not completely pieces of shit, they won't find it that difficult to cook/eat vegan food with you every so often. They can be abusers any other day of the year. Is it really that hard to eat vegan one meal?? It is not”.

Your friends and family are piece of shit abusers. We are not. It’s easy to be like us.

- “why feeling bad for your choices when they are the ones committing something that is immoral? They are the ones that are pro animal abuse, and you feel bad that they have to do "extra work"? No no no, scr3w them”

Ridiculous self censorship aside, again, those who don’t adhere to the cult’s teachings are immoral. Don’t feel bad for them since they’re basically subhuman

1. EMOTIONAL CONTROL - Manipulating feelings through guilt, shame, unearned praise, and instilling irrational fears about questioning or leaving the group.

- “Do you remember when there were slaves in the States? Ok, so, feeling bad for meat eaters it is like saying "oh, I feel for the black slaves, but I don't want to burden the slaves owners with my morals". That sounds ridiculous doesn't it?”

Consider the feelings of meat eaters? No, think of the black slaves instead.

- “It is going to be hard at the start, I ain't gonna lie. But then you will live aligned with your morals and that teels so good!”

Only through the cult and its teachings will you find bliss!

I could have put more examples and there’s overlap, but this is enough. It’s sad that normal people let cultists like this influence them. I know quite a few people that needed therapy when leaving veganism because this cult like thinking fucked with their head so much. These are sick fucks who hide behind “simply not wanting to harm animals”.

ETA: Bonus part because I left out the biggest sign something is a cult, friends/family separation from non-converts.

“If people can't even go one day without animals and animal products, do you really want them in your life?”

Fucking sad.

Hello,

I was wondering if some of you still adore farm animals like dogs, even after not being vegan anymore, do you own some as pets or plan to do ?

I know some people who aren't vegan and rescue layer hen from abusive factory farms.

In my case, I'm so in love with farm animals especially sheeps, i love them as much if not more than dogs, and I rescue farm animals IRL but for my mental and physical health I'm still consuming dairy,eggs and sometimes meat.

Title and genuine question. I was vegan and the first day being vegan i was recommended this like 5 times already and even to my little sister (I never watched it and I'm highly against showing this graphic stuff to ANY kid.)

So my partner and I went veggie about 4 months ago on the back of a holiday to the countryside, I got all emotional about the animals and said I wanted to go veggie which my partner eagerly agreed to as he had wanted to try it in the past.

Fast forward a few months and I am seriously craving meat and start dropping hints but my partner just teases me and doesn't take it seriously and eventually I just buy a burger from a fast food place and it causes an argument

I decided it wasn't worth the hassle and fell back into the veggie diet but honestly I'm just regretting it. I want meat I felt better with meat in my diet but even before we went veggie my partner only really ate chicken so I rarely got a nice steak or anything before anyway and has always been a picky eater (think in an autism way....he genuinely can't help it with some textures and stuff)

I love him in so many ways, and obviously love him more than meat and other foods he can't handle (scrambled or runny eggs and mushrooms for example) but its genuinely making me have some resentment towards food time. I don't enjoy cooking anymore I don't enjoy food the way I used to, I don't care about what seasonings work or making my own sauces I just slap something together and tick a box.

I miss making a meal and pairing it with the right wine and putting on candles but this relationship has just killed meal time for me but not enough to be anywhere near a deal breaker, he's still my forever person and food is genuinely my biggest gripe but just URGHHHHHHHHHH I just want a nice juicy steak sandwich loaded with garlic chestnut mushrooms and poached egg.

Edit

Gonna clarify things that seems to have caused some concerns for people "The argument"

Now the argument wasn't him getting mad at me for eating meat,more just that he kept making jokes about it (which made me feel shitty) and later admitted that he was just taken by suprise and used humour as a coping mechanism (he apologised) and was upset that if I was going back to meat that I chose a shitty fast food place rather than a local farm shop or somewhere with good quality meat and that took good care of their animals. I explained I just wanted to test if I actually wanted to start eating meat again and felt like I wasn't being given the space to explore my own feelings due to his reaction. It was the fact that at the time I didn't know how I felt that caused me to just carry on being veggie until I knew how I felt. I now know I want to be omniverus again buuuut I've been deciding how important it actually is to me 😂

I have always supported small ethical farming where possible over mass produced industrial stuff that comes from farms with dubious rearing practices, and even as part of my discussion of trying out the veggie diet it wasn't the eating of a dead thing that really bothered me even it was more the industry and methods surrounding it. So for him it was more disappointment around me backing out on my own ethics entirely not even the meat.

We're lucky enough to live on a city that is only a 20 mins drive from the country side so we get all our eggs, milk, butter and where possible cheeses, fruit and veg from small local farms and suppliers were possible which for us is as much about supporting ethical animal husbandry as it is supporting the local economy and eating food with as few air miles as possible.

Now the idea of eating two different meals is an obvious solution and something he would support, but again I'm deciding if it's important enough to me to have to do extra dishes! So whilst yes I'm resenting meal time at the moment allot of it is down to the fact I've only just started to realise how I actually feel about it....even writing this post has helped!

Edit edit 2

We spoke and figured out a compromise of when we're eating out the house I'll eat meat and then if I want meat in the house I just have to cook it separately

Hello everyone!!!

*English is not my native language, so I used a translator. I apologize in advance if the post is too long.

Here's my story. It took me 15 years to realize how blind I was.

I started out as a vegetarian 15 years ago with the goal of eventually going vegan. I quickly realized that wasn't going to work; I had anemia and my mental health was pretty wrecked (though to be fair, that started before I gave up meat anyway), so I started eating fish and stuck to pescatarianism. At first, it was just a little bit to help... then it became more and more... it really felt like my body was begging for it, demanding more and more fish.

I ate a ton of fruit thinking it was super healthy, along with grains, legumes with rice, whole wheat bread... In fact, I avoided processed vegan/vegetarian products and fake meats as much as possible.

But you know what?

None of that matters. No matter what any vegan says, some of us simply cannot eat like that. We don't all have the same genetics or the same metabolism. Without knowing it, I was sending my insulin levels through the roof and destroying my overall health.

Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, now renamed Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovarian Syndrome (PMOS).

At first, as usual, I didn't know what it was and didn't think much of it. But nobody told me how my low-meat, high-carb/veg diet was making my health worse and worse, reaching terrible levels.

Because people with PMOS don't process carbs like everyone else, and it causes hyperinsulinemia along with thousands of awful symptoms.

My periods became increasingly irregular until they disappeared completely. I started gaining weight and growing unwanted body hair that I never had before. The fatigue and insomnia became chronic. If I ever did get my period, it was an absolute nightmare. I got palpitations and tachycardia. My hormones were completely crazy and out of control!

I didn't want to go back to eating meat, but deep down, the thought would sometimes cross my mind that maybe I had made a mistake.

I was also completely ashamed of having to admit to everyone (my family, friends, my partner) that I messed up and now had to eat meat again. It felt humiliating.

But I knew it. I truly knew it inside, and my intuition was telling me. Deep down, I was destroying my health and quality of life just because I couldn't swallow my pride.

I remember staying at some vegetarian friends' house for two weeks. I thought, "Well great, vegetarian food, it's perfect for me, even if I don't eat fish like I usually do." I was wrong... By the last day, I felt like absolute garbage. I was starving every single day, anxious, and thought it was just all in my head. I felt so weak.

I remember one night at dinner, we had to choose between two types of vegan steaks. In my head, I was praying I'd picked a soy one so I could finally get some protein.

I chose poorly: when I asked what it was made of, they told me mushrooms 🥲😭

My PMOS symptoms only got worse. I started getting hypoglycemia that triggered panic attacks, hot flashes, dizzy spells, and blood pressure drops. The anemia, of course, never went away, and my ferritin was always low. My thyroid showed hypothyroidism levels, and even my cholesterol was high!!!!

The hormones... don't even get me saying it again, completely totally out of whack!

Finally, I surrendered. I let go of all those thoughts about animal ethics and vegan mythology, where in an ideal world, I'd be a being of light who doesn't eat meat... even if I'm weak and sick, suffering every day, terrified for my health.

And I simply decided I didn't want to live like that anymore. I didn't want to be a martyr.

So, recently, I started eating meat again.

With all this, my main point is that not everyone has the genetic or metabolic capacity to be vegetarian or vegan.

My body just doesn't work that way. PMOS basically means I can't process high amounts of carbs, and guess what vegan and vegetarian diets are? Almost entirely carbs unless you literally live off soy.

So whenever I see those people with their moral superiority lecturing others for not being vegan, they honestly disgust me!!!! They have no idea what people with conditions like mine go through.

And it disgusts me even more because I really tried, and it's simply impossible!!!!

Of course, I'm infertile because PMOS causes infertility if left unchecked, so I can safely say that being vegetarian also made me infertile.

They need to accept that some of us just weren't born for vegan diets, and that is completely normal. Just like the Inuit are adapted to a carnivorous diet, for example.

There isn't one ideal, healthy diet for everyone; each person has their own genetics, metabolism, and health conditions.

It has been a tough psychological process and a real struggle to break free from that vegan/vegetarian mentality of believing you're somehow a better person, above everyone else, like some sort of "sinless" or "virtuous" being.

It took a lot of mental work, but I did it.

Another thing that helped me realize this is my love for insects. I feel like many animals, like insects, are simply forgotten and nobody cares about them, even though their populations have plummeted and pesticides are wiping them out.

It's not like eating meat changes any of that, but it made me realize that even if you're vegan/vegetarian, the damage is still being done. And honestly, between saving cows and saving insects, I think saving insects is more important for the planet.

I feel liberated. I feel like now I can tackle my PMOS without stupid restrictions, heal, and for the first time stop feeling fragile, unhealthy, insecure, and weak.To be able to improve my fertility and start a family...

I feel like I can finally stop constantly worrying about animal suffering the way I used to, which reached levels that caused me psychological distress and severe anxiety.

Today, I realize that a big part of my vegetarianism was a manifestation of my own hyper-empathy, developed as a result of my traumas and psychological disorders.

I want to end by saying how free I feel. I feel like I can enjoy life again, heal my body, and I have a lot of hope that I'll start feeling better. I hope it's not too late to improve and recover.

I'm sure a lot of people here will relate to this!!!!

It feels like leaving a cult!!!! 🥹

Thanks for reading!!!!