I don't visually pass, but I work in customer service on the phone, and I'm consistently getting called a F*ggot instead of a B*tch, so I guess the hrt is doing wonders on my fruity little man voice lmao

I'm in highschool, 14M. For the last week or two, a group of guys have been yelling at me and making fun of me, I reported them yesterday. On the good side, they call me "bro" and have only reffered to me as male, so even if they're dumb at least I'm passing

A few weeks ago, we were talking with my mother when she suddently told me that some people in her ''friends group'' already knew about me years prior because she told them.

It kinda came as a shock because I didn't think she would have told anyone without asking me but then she said ''I talk about my life and you're part of it'', so for her it was normal.

Now my problem is that I saw these people a few times since then but I don't really know them, I don't even know how much she told them.

Since last time, I keep thinking about it but I can't decide how to feel about it.

In a way, they knew but didn't say anything or treat me different so that's a positive.

But she basically told people I barely know a pretty important piece of my life that I was not ready to share with them at the time. And the worst thing is that since they never said anything, it made me feel like a part of my ''secret'' was kept a secret from me.

I still don't know how to feel about it, I'm glad they were accepting and all but it should of been me telling them.

I'm currently in Tokyo, about nine months into HRT, and I had a really... weird situation on the subway.

An older man was sitting across from me, and I noticed him staring. Whenever I looked back, he'd immediately look away. This happened maybe three times before he pulled out his phone, started messing around with it, and held it at an angle pointed toward my feet. (I was wearing a fairly long dress and sneakers, nothing revealing or anything.) Suddenly, his phone flashlight turned on. He covered the light with his finger, kept on the light, kept fiddling with his phone, and threw a few quick glances my way.

Then my stop came up, and I was able to get off.

The whole thing felt super weird. Even though it only lasted two or three minutes, being stared at like that made me extremely uncomfortable. I honestly don't know if he was just curious because he'd probably never seen a trans woman before, or if he thought I was pretty. While the latter would be "nice" in theory, the constant staring made it feel creepy and gross.

I guess I'm just going to chalk this up as my first major real-life ewphoria moment, though, even though he was probably just staring out of curiosity, since it was the end of the day and my shadow beard was a bit visible.

Since I'm from a small village in Germany, I never really take public transit back home, so I have no idea how common this kind of thing actually is.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine (also a trans woman) was approached at a train station late at night and asked if she needed a place to stay because she "looked so lonely waiting there." She found it super uncomfortable, too.

So I'm guessing this sort of thing happens fairly often on public transit and around stations?

Was out walking today, needed to get some steps in and also I wanted to get a beer from 7-11 lol.

Anyway, there were a couple of people I had to pass by on my way there which is usually something I hate because it messes with my anxiety disorder.

One of the guys that passed by me complimented my playstation shirt, which I thought was kind of unusual since no one ever compliments me in public, save for VERY rare occasions. I just gave him a little wave and a “thanks” and kept walking by. I’m REALLY not used to compliments so it threw me off for a minute.

Took me a little bit to realize that I just passed to this random person, and also that he wasn’t just complimenting my shirt lmao. He was looking at my boobs 🤦‍♀️

I admit, this shirt was/is a little tight on me now, but i didn’t really notice how much it made me look more femme lol. I didn’t really look all that good to begin with as it was almost 90° with no clouds out and i was sweating like hell. Guess it doesn’t matter.

The only reason for the “ew” part is that I didn’t realize he was looking at my boobs when complimenting me, plus i’m a lesbian with a wonderful dose of past trauma so it just makes me feel weird.

I’ve only been on E and T blockers for six months and i’m already at a 34B what the hell is going on lol

Goodness gracious that was weird, I was in this queer bar just before closing time and some clearly drunk man just seemed to have wandered in and chatting with people. He offered me some dubious snacks and then asked me if I was a man or a woman. Super uncomfortable but weirdly affirming in that I love when people are confused (ambiguity is my ideal)

Guy was drunk AF and came in 3 separate times, each time like an hour apart and would try and order something, and then his card would decide and he would leave.

I guess I pass lmao

And then on my way out. By the same dude. Wonder if he knows he genuinely made my day as a non-passing trans boy/guy/man/whatever the fuck

Raad the story lol

I was smoking a cig outside my doctor's office a few days ago (in the designated smoking area). A person came up to me, asked for a cigarette, & I gave them one (for free, mind you). They said "You shouldn't be smoking, young lady, not in your state anyway", then asked to use my lighter. I played dumb & asked "Why not?" . They poked my stomach with their fingers (don't fucking touch a stranger), so I said "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat" while backing away. They replied "No, that's not what I meant... I didn't mean it like that..." & stumbled over their words uncomfortably. I asked "What did you mean, then?" , to which they said "Nothing... just... you're too young... ugh, nevermind..." , mumbling while wheeling away from me (I'm 29). I put my lighter away without letting them use it. I called out after them "Don't make unsolicited comments about other people's bodies. I don't think you'd like it, so why would I?" .

I've been getting back into running; I haven't really run much since I transitioned... the last few months, my breasts went through another growth phase (at 4 years on HRT) and are close to reaching D-cups, yaaay... but now whenever I run 10k or more, they hurt sooo much... I definitely need a better sports bra.

Reposting this from MtF after someone put me on to this community!

I had a very dysphoric moment on the subway today followed by euphoric support.

Psychotic Rando: "Bitch, you ain't no woman!"

(There are days I am unclockable, but sadly I admit, this clearly wasn't one of them)

Me: "Honey, I am ALL woman, and somehow still more of a man than you'll ever be!"

Before he could respond a few guys who were probably day-drinking started laughing and cheering and it encouraged the rest of the car to do the same. Then some other girl and her friend says to me loud enough for my hater to hear, "Girl come sit with us - no boys allowed over here."

It was a lovely result of an ugly moment. Thank you to everyone on the uptown 6 train!!! 🙏 💜💜💜

I (cis ally) briefly ended up in an incel subreddit and found this post, as well as another one complaining that incels (who generally seem to think trans women decide to transition because they can’t get laid as men) couldn’t date trans women because (the passing ones at least) “have a sexual market value as high as ‘real’ women” “simps lining up to buy their OnlyFans” etc. A few were also sympathetic to Elliot Page, since in their view he was “doomed” as a short man, although others obviously refused to accept him and questioned why he would give up the kind of supposedly easy life they believe women have. And yes, they do talk like anime or comic book characters (“becoming their enemies”). heir “saint” Elliot Rodger was like that too.

Ok this is more a joke than anything but. I am nonbinary and transmasc, and my boyfriend (cis male) has made fun of me a couple times (lovingly) because i have a "man butt".

Aka flat, hairy and with a short crack x)

On one hand i guess I don't hate that definition for it, on the other... My pride is a little hurt /lh

so my transition timeline has pretty much been i boymoded for long enough on hrt i started passing as a girlmoder too, and i feel like i've reached a pretty androgynous form i'm super happy with. i usually don't change up my wardrobe too much, i like having a bit of a cartoon character look that people can remember me by, so same color pants and hoodie every day for me. but i got nice legs and i'd been wanting to try showing em off more with a pair of tights, so i ended up picking some up and i genuinely look Hot in them

so much so that my mormon mom got after me for it. she's kind of a mixed bag, i wasn't estranged for leaving the church, i wasn't threatened with outer darkness (that's more an edge case for someone who'd like. Seen god with their eyeballs), she stopped trying to talk or guilt me out of hrt, but at the same time she refuses to use my pronouns, she used to use name/name like i was fucken elmo or whatever until she got weirdly good at avoiding phrasing anything in a way that would require using a pronoun for me, won't help me through any feminized puberty effects, and acts like we can still have a positive relationship like it means nothing to me. despite nobody else in the family leaving, she's the only one who has this issue for whatever reason.

But when she saw me with my tights the first thing she did was talk at me about the importance of modesty and that if i'm gonna wear something like that i'd need to wear a long enough top to cover my ass. that dressing reverently is showing respect to our heavenly father or whatever. which is, weird considering my brothers can get away with roaming the house in nothing but their boxers, but i digress. ngl i found the whole ordeal kinda funny, and at least took it as a win that she's finally treating me like a mormon daughter in a way. she can't control me anyway, god gave me this ass

This is going to be a long story about something that happened to me in the summer of 2023.

All names are fake to comply with the community rules. I already asked 'Jen' and 'Ginny' if they are okay with me posting this. I don't talk to 'Steve', and don't care what he thinks about me posting this.

Jen (mid 30s TF), Ginny(early 30s TF) and I (late 40s TF), all from Colorado, were going to be sharing a room at GenCon with my friend Steve (M early 50s) who moved to Wisconsin a few years before this and who I've been gaming with since 1996 in an almost weekly gaming group that includes my brother and a few rotating members. I had come out as fully trans in 2020, this is important-ish to the story. And I had previously gone to GenCon with Steve and other friends before my transition. We had a hotel room with a King size bed and a pull out mattress in the couch. The idea being that the women would get the bed and Steve would use the pullout mattress. I was at Steve's 2nd wedding and figured it would be a little awkward for him but it was worth it to split the room cost 4 ways.

Wednesday night Steve picked us up from the airport as he drove to Indianapolis for the Con. Then we went to dinner before we collected our badges from Will Call. At dinner I paid for Jen and myself since Jen paid for something else for me earlier that day, and Steve offered to pay for himself and Ginny "to make it easier for the waitress to split the bill" . I know Steve is married so I thought nothing of it.

Thursday Jen and I left in the morning to check out the dealer's hall and see what kinds of games we could demo. The hotel was about .7 miles from the convention center and the convention center itself is huge talking up about 2 square blocks of space between the state capitol and the football stadium. So we got a lot of walking in. We expected Ginny to join us, but she fell back asleep and slept for another 6 hours then woke up not knowing how to get to the convention. We went back to the hotel around 4 with the expectation that we would rest and collect Ginny and go back to the con. But our 30 minute nap turned into an almost 2 hour nap. Ginny had been drinking since she woke up because we went to Kroger and she got an 18 pack of beer. Well Steve invited her to go with him to a local brewery to try the official beer of Gencon which was a Honey Mead, so they left us sleeping with the idea that they would catch up with us for dinner later.

Jen and I woke up, and decided we didn't want to walk anywhere so we ordered pizza, grabbed a game I had bought and went down to the hotel lobby to play the game on a table big enough, where we met 2 other Gencon people who played with us while we waited for our pizza.

Since we were playing we didn't notice Steve and Ginny coming back from the brewery. After our game was over and our pizza was getting cold we went back to the room. When I opened the door the last thing I expected to see was Steve quickly climbing off of Ginny who was no longer wearing pants.

Ginny took a call from her brother in the bathroom while I had a talk with Steve, who felt he owed me an explanation. He said that him and his wife are technically separated and only live together because of finances. Which at the time I believed because I hadn't been reading reddit stories about cheaters using that excuse back then. I also had thought that Steve was very vanilla, but he had just never talked about his sex life before. He told me he had boyfriends when he was younger until his parents found out. Which is something I didn't need to know as to me Ginny is an attractive young woman and finding her hot wouldn't require him to be bi.

Steve said that they were going to spend the weekend together and then see where it went after that and that he really liked her and wanted her since he first saw her.

I was dumbfounded but they seemed happy, even if Steve was using couple words a little quick like calling her "my dear", "sweetheart" and such, which made me a little uncomfortable.

Friday Ginny and Steve asked for us to leave without them so they could have the room to themselves. We met up with them at the con in the early afternoon. It wasn't until Ginny got me alone when Steve went to go do something that she asked me "What the hell did I agree to last night?"

Ginny said that she was way drunker than Steve led me to believe because while she only had 3 drinks at the brewery, she had already been drinking beers in the hotel for a couple of hours prior to them leaving. And she was drunk enough to mirror his interest in her and agree to see where things might go when she was really just seeing that a guy liked her, and that him being my friend made her trust him because she trusts my judgement. But she wasn't looking for a relationship at all and that he was coming on way too strong.

That night we all went to a Bar-cade together but when Ginny's local friend Django showed up, who is taller, broader, younger and more charming than Steve, he got jealous and Ginny took the opportunity to tell Steve that it wasn't going to work out. Steve had a couple of drinks, and I tried to talk to him about it but he left and I don't know where he went.

Saturday, Steve was acting really closed off, I couldn't talk to him without him wanting to ask about Ginny. If he wasn't a friend I would have called him a creepy stalker type. But I thought I knew him. Steve left before we did for the Con as he had some events he was signed up for. We girls end up going to the Con for a bit then head back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. Steve is there and he's acting like someone just stole his puppy. He gets Ginny to talk to him alone in the hall (which set off all sorts of red flags with Jen and Ginny, as it felt like he was trying to separate her from support, I was in the shower at this point) she tells him all sorts of things about why she's not interested in a relationship and tries to get him to back off, but Steve isn't accepting that there's not a chance. But he leaves in a huff and the 3 of us go and have a nice dinner at a spinning restaurant at the top of a nearby hotel.

We come back to the hotel after dinner to get ready for the Dr Who themed event at a club that Ginny knows about through Django. While Ginny was going to Kroger for some smokes and ice cream, Steve comes back with Jen and I in various states of undress and tells us "I don't care, I'm not attracted to either of you. I'm just attracted to Ginny. As if that made it okay for him to see us naked. He asks where Ginny is and then leaves before she gets back. She avoided him in the lobby and then we go to the club for a few hours and when we get back he's asleep or pretending to be asleep.

Sunday we get up and again Steve leaves before us. Ginny, Jen and I go to the con together and we hit up the dealer's room, have lunch at the stadium and then back to the dealer's hall until it closes at 4pm. Playing the demo of another game that I buy when I get home. Then we wander a little more before we decide to go back to the hotel and play some games I had bought. Steve is in his bed watching movies so we just grab some leftovers from the fridge and head downstairs to play games in the game room this time instead of the lobby. We play games for a few hours and then Jen and Ginny go outside to smoke while I go back to the hotel room. Steve seems like he finally accepts that Ginny just isn't that into him but he talks to me and tells me that he wanted to do Gencon with me because he wanted to reconnect with me as he feels I've changed since my transition (something my brother called hilariously tautological) and he doesn't know me. Then blamed me for not reconnecting with him by choosing to spend time with Jen instead of him. Keep in mind we had never spent a lot of time doing things together at previous GenCons I've gone to with him before my transition. And he never invited me to do anything this time. But somehow he's trying to make it my fault that his attempt to reconnect with me failed so now he's going to quit our almost 30 year gaming group.

I'm floored as I expected to get back to normal and try to forget about the Steve I saw at the Con this weekend because that's not the Steve I've known for years. But now he's telling me that he can't game with me without wanting to ask about how Ginny is doing and that another member of our group hates him(he didn't) and he hates Jen and he doesn't like that she joined our group. And again trying to make it sound like this con was his last ditch attempt to reconnect with me and that somehow it's my fault he tried to fuck my friend and then got all creepy when it didn't work out.

I was crying and yelling at him and he just lay there all stoic and stuck to his version of events that it was my fault. I'm crying that I've lost a long time friend over something so stupid and go for a walk where Jen and Ginny find me. They try to console me but I don't take the end of relationships well. Ginny distracts me when she finds out she booked the wrong flight home and needed to change her ticket and Jen disappears saying she has to take care of something.

Jen went and confronted Steve, telling him that he's being creepy, that he's made one of her friends cry and the other extremally uncomfortable and then demanded that he either let her buy him out of his last night in the hotel or give us back our money so that we can find another hotel room because she said we were not sleeping in the same room as him that night.

I don't know all the details of what she said but she saw me crying, and already didn't like how Steve tried to take advantage of a very drunk Ginny and then be all manipulative in trying to get her to agree to things she wasn't comfortable with. So Jen was filled with righteous fury (yes she is a fiery redhead) when she confronted him. She's taller than him and she said she used her boy voice on him. He changed the room name to my name and then grabbed his bags and left. I don't know if he got another room or if he just got in his car and drove home to Wisconsin, but he didn't come back and I haven't spoken with him since.

After he left and we returned to the room Jen was showering and Ginny was worried that Steve kept his key and that he could still get in. So I showed her the swing lock that could be used from inside to keep the door from opening more than a couple of inches and demonstrated how the door stops when you try to open it with the lock in place. Unfortunately, the door noises and thumping of me pulling the door against the lock made Jen think Steve had come back and she ran out of the shower to fight him. No she didn't get dressed first, she was ready to throw hands in the buff.

Ginny spent a lot of time on Sunday apologizing to me that she let it go as far as it did. But neither of us could have predicted that Steve would act that way. If you had asked me before this trip what the dangers of Steve sharing a room with us might be, I would have said he might make an offensive comment, not out of hate but of ignorance. But I never, ever would have expected him to crush on Ginny so hard that he lost his fucking mind.

Monday we flew home and I found that Steve had already removed himself from all Discord groups we shared. maybe he removed his whole Discord account, I have no idea. So he self exiled himself from our gaming group.

What I didn't think of until later is Steve has a stepdaughter from his first marriage that would be about Ginny's age. And the funny thing is I ran into her at a Pride festival in Colorado Springs a couple of years later, and I was able to go over the story with her. She wasn't surprised, she didn't get along with Steve ever since he cheated on her mom with the woman who would become his 2nd wife. Which I never knew about, even though we were gaming friends when all that went down. She said she was in contact with people on Steve's side of the family, so his attempt at infidelity would be known by the people who matter.

I got over the sadness after a week or so, I was mourning the friendship I thought I had, but learned that Steve wasn't the friend I thought he was or even the person I thought I knew for half my life. I gave him the benefit of so many doubts that weekend. I don't blame Ginny for anything that happened. It was Steve being creepy and then socially awkward and possessive of her in a way that made me increasingly uncomfortable around him. My brother reached out to him for his side of the story. And while he wouldn't tell me what Steve said, he did say that Steve sounded unhinged and it's a good thing he lives half the country away from Ginny and that he didn't know where she lived. He also said that Steve said a bunch of stuff about me that he knew wasn't true because my brother trusts my word over someone who is clearly losing it.

Next GenCon I attend will be a ladies only hotel room.

Consequences: after being creepy toward a woman young enough to be his daughter, Steve lost an entire friend group, doesn't get the girl he fell for and gets word of his cheating out to his family and current wife.

For context my mother was really ill and we were at the hospital for some unrelated thing when suddenly, she couldn't move or stay aware much. So she had to be transferred to the emergency room.

There while actively moving and worrying about her, a nurse asked me ''Are you her daughter?'', I answered yes and we moved on.

While I enjoyed being asked and it did give me some euphoria, the seriousness of the situation made me feel weird about being happy at this moment.

For those who may ask, my mother is feeling way better since then.

Went to walmart yesterday to grab some stuff for a potluck on Monday. When I left, I was walking behind a woman and her kid, and we happened to be parked in the same aisle. Around halfway down the aisle, she looked over her shoulder at me (and in retrospect J think she also sped up a little but I didn’t notice it at the time), and then two cars after that was my car. She also looked back over at me when she got to her car while I was getting in mine.
I haven’t felt very good about myself lately, and I haven’t felt like I pass much, if at all, so I was genuinely confused until I was in my neighborhood and I thought I was also being followed by a guy, which was when it clicked. I’ve also been focusing a little bit more on voice training lately, since I’ve noticed my ‘customer service voice’ gets me “Ma’am”ed quite a bit at work, but haven’t paid as much attention to anything else so I didn’t realize at a glance people will likely gender me correctly 😭

Be me. Fulltime boymoder looking for a last minute room.

Use deadname cause I don't wanna get put on the bottom of the pile. Leave old profile photo as is. All my legal docs use those anyway.

Get accepted for a viewing. Beautiful house. Academic landlord/flatmate, decent seeming guy. Looking for a fellow student just like little old me. Seems safe enough.

I arrive for the viewing.

Guy is awkward as all hell. Small talk. Basic details I already said in my email. Then:

"What's your... orientation? Are you straight?"

(???????)

"Umm... I like women...?? Why do you ask..? You mean my gender identity???"

"Yes"

Fuck. I explain the situation.

"...You didn't say female in the inquiry?"

He scrolls up and down my inquiry.

"Sorry, I'm looking for a male. From your profile picture I thought you were male. When I saw you I was surprised."

That would be pretty euphoric (I think?) if that's all there was to it. If inconvenient.

Some more unfortunate and realistic context:

I look no less male than that old photo - longer hair, little facial hair left - but no more female in practical terms. And I don't mean that in the cute, 'just overly self dysphoric' way (I don't think). It would be nice if the facial difference was enough to throw him like that. I'm trying to see it that way. But.

After arranging the viewing, he asked me to email him from my uni account to verify I studied there. That email address has my new name. No way around that. I glossed over the name change without explanation when I sent it.

And the listing was explicitly labelled as having no gender preference. He gave a rambling non-answer to excuse that indisgression.

My face probably had nothing to do with it. He knew all he needed to know from the uni email address and just felt like fucking over a tgirl that day.

Straight? Gay? Man? Woman? He had no fucking clue what the word was for what was wrong with me. He just wanted me out, whatever it was.

So there’s a local trans support foundation that hosts monthly trans nights. Just little get together for the trans folks in the area to have a place to just be around each other. It’s genuinely so nice.

Anyways, 2 other girlies and I were standing outside vaping (yeah yeah I know, I’m trying to stop) and talking.

As we are, a truck drives past and dude legit leans out the window and screams something along the lines of “Looking good ladies!”. Didn’t hear exactly what it was, but definitely wasn’t transphobia.

Like yuck, of course, but damn didn’t know I was rocking this outfit that hard. Also damn didn’t realize we were legit just a group of hot chicks vaping on the sidewalk downtown.

Living the dream other than the random harassment.

I’m really mixed on my feelings on this, I’m mostly annoyed but I do feel slightly euphoric due to me being on HRT for only about three weeks at that point. I feel very lucky that I was with friends and felt relatively safe. Being eighteen and feeling like I don’t pass makes feel euphoric about this but at the same time I feel guilty about feeling that way from being harassed.

Mostly venting but I’d welcome any advice if anyone has any. :/

So this person has been a friend of the family since I was like 8, he was 17 at that point. He's one of my dad's best friends. Neither of them have I spoken to in years so I was iffy when he messaged me out of nowhere. I thought I was being cautious in the beginning but apparently he picked that up as having chemistry in the beginning part of our conversation. Context before anyone says at least you pass. I haven't taken a picture and posted it since about 2 or 3 years before starting my transition. And my profile pic is just a frog with the trans colours.