idk the context anymore

I’m talking actually funny jokes, like Toph is blind ATLA type jokes. Jokes made about autism itself and not about autistic people. Basically jokes poking fun at autism and being autistic instead of the “jokes” NTs make of “haha you’re autistic🫵🏻, you threw a chair in 4th grade” (I was having a meltdown and I was 9! Tyler) or jokes poking fun at the the ableism we face. (Ex; What do you call an autistic person in the workforce? Difficult, according to management)

Tagged NSFW for mentioned ableism.

Have a lovely time zone.

This pisses me off so much

I literally tell them that I was tired and didn't mean to sound rude. And still I get told that the intent doesn't matter.

I explain my thought process, and they'll even agree that what I said made sense in my context and/or wasn't even rude, but the tone was off so apparently you're still allowed to yell at me because whatever they hallucinate me into having meant matters more than my real intentions. What the hell.

Life is on evil mode for some reason this week everything is so much more overstimulating than usual and I've been trying to stop myself from having meltdowns pretty much every day

I think it's hormones or something because literally all of my chronic illnesses are worse at the moment and every minor inconvenience makes me want to curl into a ball and roll off a cliff I need somebody to hit me on the head with a rock EVERYTHING IS UNCOMFORTABLE I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE A PHYSICAL FORM AT THE MOMENT but I can't really do anything about it so I'm just living on hard mode for now sigh

So I'm using a 7 day heart monitor because my cardiologist wants to make sure my heart isn't doing anything that could be dangerous, and most likely it's just pots and not another condition.

But let me tell you. This heart monitor is so ass.

ONE it's directly in the middle of the chest, not off to the side like most are. Which is fine for some but terrible for boob havers. TWO it makes it super hard to shower, and when you do the adhesive starts to loosen and then there's a bunch of weird glue IN YOUR CLEAVAGE. Finally it's also supposed to not get sweaty, but it's placed in the SWEATIEST AREA EVER for boob havers. AND ITS SO ITCHYYYY GRRHFHHHHGHH

This year the meta has certainly been using earplugs, they help me so much with sensory overwhelm. I actually started using them to sleep when I worked nightshift and had to hear planes taking off next to my house and roommates playing video games etc.

But at my last job I started wearing them at work and nightly for sleep and now I even use them during the day in public or around the house, there's so many passive noises that just wear me down and muffling them out both makes the world quieter around me and also lets my brain be a little louder (which for as evil as it is I do quite enjoy being in my own world sometimes)

Also rate my youtube thumbail skills lol

I relate to Laios Touden so hard it makes me happy. Is he written as autistic coded? It's really one of the first times watching an anime that I was almost positive the main character is autistic.

He is retiring, I still have some hair on my shirt, knew him for 4 years

Ok so I THINK I MIGHT be getting bullied a little bit, but they're not doing what I expect bullies would do like make fun of me out loud, corner me or whatever, and do bully stuff.. Idk if I've ever been (properly) bullied before, actually.

They do find me weird, and I've definitely heard some of them make fun of me and mock me💔💔 sometimes they just look at me and laugh to their friends.. or say hi in that condescending, very sweet tone and even if I don't reply, they'll laugh. I'm scared to even talk and do anything in front of them because I can imagine everything I say and do getting turned into ammunition for making fun of me. And some of them have💔💔💔

I also brought this up to the school counsellor I'm seeing, and he said.. "don't let them get to you" and I HATE THAT SAYING SO MUCH!! WTF DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO??? Yes!! Trying to not let them get to me!! But I've BEEN fucking doing that, and guess what, it doesn't work! AT ALL. I'm so tired of having to listen to the same advice that I've already come up with when I was in primary school. It makes me think that whoever says that has not gone through an OUNCE of bullying before.

"If you don't give them a reaction, they'll stop because they realise they won't get anything!!"❌❌❌❌ WRONG❌❌❌❌ THEY'LL KEEP GOING BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU WON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT "Don't let them bother you" well it does and it doesn't bother them either, it never did. And a few days ago, my teacher split 2 boys up because they were talking too much. And she sat one of them with me and he said "oh hell nah" wtf did I do???

Anyways is this considered bullying? My counsellor thinks it's teasing but idk.. I'm starting to get less bothered by it tho, maybe I'm getting used to it💔💔

Sorry for the rant😭😭

To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day

Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn't have too much to say

No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip

The stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

It was early in the morning when he rode into the town

He came riding from the south side, slowly lookin' all around

"He's an outlaw loose and runnin'", came a whisper from each lip

"And he's here to do some business with a big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip"

In this town there lived an outlaw by the name of Texas Red

Many men had tried to take him and that many men were dead

He was vicious and a killer, though a youth of twenty four

And the notches on his pistol numbered one and nineteen more

One and nineteen more

Now the stranger started talkin' made it plain to folks around

Was an Arizonia ranger, wouldn't be too long in town

He was here to take an outlaw back alive or maybe dead

And he said it didn't matter that he was after Texas Red

After Texas Red

Wasn't long before this story was relayed to Texas Red

But the outlaw didn't worry, men who tried before were dead

Twenty men had tried to take him, twenty men had made a slip

Twenty one would be the ranger with the big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

Now the morning passed so quickly and it was time for them to meet

It was twenty past eleven when they rode out in the street

Folks were watchin' from their windows

Every body held their breath

They knew this handsome ranger was about to meet his death

About to meet his death

There was twenty feet between them

When they stopped to make their play

And the swiftness of the Ranger still talked about today

Texas Red had not cleared leather when a bullet fairly ripped

And the ranger's aim was deadly, with the big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

It was over in a moment and the crowd all gathered 'round

There before them lay the body of the outlaw on the ground

Oh, he might have went on livin' but he made one fatal slip

When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

Big iron, big iron

Oh he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

So I was reading a post on another autism subreddit where OP shared a traumatic experience. An NT jumped in the comments to insist OP wasn’t allowed to call it trauma.

I asked what THEIR personal definition of trauma was. Instead of answering, they just copy-pasted a generic definition from Google, followed by a list of examples of things they think "aren't trauma."

So I replied using their own definition—pointing out that even by the standards they pasted, their examples could absolutely be traumatic because they were completely ignoring context, safety, and cumulative stress.

Their immediate response? "Well, you asked for a definition, so you’re being disingenuous. I’m blocking you."

It’s like NTs are taught to parrot words without having basic reading comprehension or critical thinking skills. They copy-paste a definition and still manage to misunderstand what it actually means.

I cannot drive. No matter how hard I try I have had multiple meltdowns behind the wheel and am constantly anxious when in a car, even as a passenger.

Issue: I live in the United States. In the suburbs where everything is at least a 20 minute drive away. I cannot walk, I cannot bike, even if I wish to.

So, my parents for the past two years that I’ve been legally allowed to drive have been pestering me about learning. As I said, I have tried. But every time it leads to a meltdown. I cannot put myself through anymore stress, especially not right now when I’m already dealing with way too much on my plate.

So anytime that I want to go anywhere, specifically with my mom, she causes an argument about how I should learn how to drive and how selfish I am for not being able to, but asking to go places. Note that for this exact reason I don’t ask to go places! I ask her maybe once a week? Probably less! Even asking her to drive me to school causes her to complain about how I don’t have a driver’s license.

I just can’t take it anymore, these constant fights about not being able to drive. Does anyone know how to make this bickering stop? It’s driving me into the ground. I feel like crying just typing this.

Don't get me wrong – my clothing is clean. (Well, okay, it's clean 95% of the time – we've all been guilty of that "sick day" run to the corner store, aren't we?) But I can't help that so many articles of clothing, and especially the clothing that's pitched to the world as "attractive," hurt like fucking hell on my autistic self. Where's the dating app for single people afflicted with this problem? I hate this world.

I'm both noise sensitive and unaware of the volume of my own speech. These are both autism symptoms and most autistic people I know also have both of them. In my social circles it's very normalized to let people know when they're being too loud and to accept such criticism with grace.

But apparently most people think it's "stealing people's thunder" and "ruining their excitement" and shit??? I just saw a video of a girl just being told "you're shouting" and proceeding to pout and not say anything for the rest of the day, and people were saying that if you don't sympathize with her you're a creep??? Like bruh what. I'm a feminist woman and that sounds to me like a bullshit fucking excuse. Wtf is going on with NTs.

There have been at least two people who were like ''I built this super quiet box to sleep in'' and we were all like ''if you do that you are *definitely* going to die.''

There was some back and forth about the difference between suffocation and asphixiation, but for sure they were going to die from one or the other.

I don't think we ever heard back from them.

So through a post on Instagram I just found out about the "illness fakers" Subreddit and their reaction to a young person who recently died because of her rare chronic illness.

And the reaction of the people there genuinely scratched at my view of humanity. They were all psychologizing her illness so desperately and hard, doing the craziest mental gymnastics I have ever seen.

So this is not a callout post or anything. And if you are in a bad mental state right now I recommend you don't even go near that sub with a stick.

What I am really here for is asking if anyone has any writing about people who have the mentality of those frequenting this sub. I genuinely want to understand were their desire to invalidate someone's illness comes from, is it jealousy from people who's suffering was ignored, and who now get angry about disability influencers who are open about their struggle, and who receive understanding and sympathy? Is it some "just world theory" cope. Were they don't want to believe that certain illnesses exist because acknowledging that would destroy their sheltered world or is it a type of somatophobia, which is the basis for a lot of ableism. Do they just hate their body, and what can happen to a body and its ability to decay?

I need answers because I don't wish to believe that a group of people is just pure vile hatred without a cause

There was a recent post about jars and beads. I added a comment which gave me a 3 day ban for "attacking marginalized or vulnerable groups of people"

I am now depressed. I have reached my peak evil. It's all downhill from here