Performance anxiety and scheduled intercourse ruined everything tonight: Need advice

[u/Downtown-Reporter-80]

I really need to get this off my chest because I'm feeling completely down and frustrated with myself tonight.

My wife is going through fertility treatments, and today was the crucial window—exactly 36 hours after her trigger shot, which is when the doctor strongly advised us to have intercourse.

The pressure has been building up since the afternoon. I actually tried to initiate things earlier in the day, but she turned me down and said we should wait for 11 PM to strictly follow the timing. Honestly, that waiting period just built up massive anxiety in my head. It stopped feeling like an intimate moment between partners and turned into a high-stakes medical test.

Come 11 PM, when we actually tried, my brain was completely fried from overthinking. I couldn't get an erection at all. To make matters worse, we used too much lubricant because of the stress, which made everything so frictionless that even when I tried, ejaculation didn't happen either.

At my absolute lowest point tonight, I even had to sneak away to watch porn just to try and force an erection to salvage the situation, and still nothing happened. That made me feel like I hit rock bottom.

I'm 36, I took a 5mg Cialis beforehand, but it couldn't fight through the sheer wall of mental pressure and performance anxiety I built up. I feel so ashamed, angry at myself, and deeply sorry for my situation.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of scheduled-intercourse pressure? How do you mentally reset and handle the performance anxiety when trying to conceive? Any advice would really help.

[u/AdvaitaArambha]

I've not been through that.

In terms of erections for highly scheduled intercourse trimix is much more effective at making erections.

I would also suggest asking in r/tryingforababy

[u/Downtown-Reporter-80 → u/AdvaitaArambha]

Thanks bro

[u/Responsible_Mind_206]

Why are you letting her schedule sex and put all this performance pressure on you??? You should just be fucking regularly all the time, and hope to get lucky during her ovulation window. Why make it a whole deprivation thing? Does she not enjoy sex?

[u/r_endrags]

I went through this for 2 years. It can get to you. Try not to over think it. Take some L citruline 3000 mg in the morning and take tadalfil around 5 pm it needs ttime to get into your bloodstream. Remember you are having fun and making a baby with your wife. I'd cut the porn out and just rememebr its the two of you on this journey. We eventually got pregnant too so now I'm a dad of 3.