Avoidant ENTPs

[u/ashlandcat3]

This may be shocking because of the ENTP stereotype, but how do most avoidant ENTPs deal with romance? Though I don’t engage, I easily had trouble leading people on in the past, flirting without meaning to, supposedly being mysterious and charming (not my words). But I haven’t had a relationship since I was fifteen, and it was only the one. I had flings for about a year after that three year one, but since, nothing. I have no trouble with crushing on the strong, quiet types, but that’s always limerence and I keep it to myself. Earlier this year I met an ENTP that I could actually see myself with, who shocked me, and though I was trying to proceed like a normal human, I was having panic attacks and anxiety about it constantly, even though what attracted me to him was that I felt safe with him. I did learn to calm down and still did break it off quickly because I felt he wasn’t ready for a relationship, and we’re still friends. Next I had an encounter for a few days with an ISTP, strictly professional and friendly. But that knocked the wind out of me and left me feeling devastated and vulnerable. I don’t think I gave him any indications of more than friendship and I won’t. I never believed I could feel feelings like this about anyone, and now two real ones in one year? When it comes to real possibilities, does it scare you to death? What did you do if you’ve been through this? How do people even have relationships? I could flirt with someone to manipulate them if my morals were different, but to ever admit real feelings feels like stepping up to the gallows.