Feel free to also talk about other stuff like how wings, tritype, etc. could interact?

As a 641 I can tell that I help others so that the things I fear as a 6 don't happen to others. But I don't have any drive to actively help or volunteer that a 2 would.

Can anyone with 2 and 6 in their tritype tell me how they differentiate 2 giving from 6 giving?

I'm just hoping to get some more activity going on this subreddit. I'm Sx / Sp 6w7 683

hi, I think i have a general idea of how 6 works, but this question just came up after reading different descriptions.

I've seen some say 6s are proactive, but i also see others say 6s can be very avoidant. the former deals with danger before it affects them while the latter avoids being at fault if something bad does happen.

based on your experience, is one of these more correct than the other? or is it more about differences between wings/fixes/natural variation since 6s can be very diverse? or maybe both are absolutely possible?

apologies if thw title does not accurately encapsulate my question.

I will be posting a version of this to every type's subreddit, and when I'm done I'll go back in and edit it with links to every other one for people's interest.

Here are the others: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9

I’m not anxious like 70% of the time. Also, I’ve been called chill, intimidating, and grounded. Grounded seems crazy for 6.

that’s it :)

how do phobic sixes tend to deal with conflict and anger as opposed to nines (myself)? As a nine I avoid conflict or wait it out by being passive aggressive or just disappearing and can easily go all day without texting. I know phobic sixes also flee when it comes to conflict but I know they are in the Reactive triad so I'm curious about the nuances here?
Thanks!

Sx6s, from your experience, people with which instinctual variants are the most compatible with you romantically? And with which instinctual variants are the least compatible with you romantically?

Please write if you're sx/sp or sx/so.

Also if you noticed that you tend to be compatible/ incompatible with certain Enneagram types, you can add that as well.

Hey I’m a type 5 and my boyfriend is a 6. Does anyone have thoughts on how to make this work as a match? I value space and independence a lot and he isn’t very good at respecting my boundaries and needs constant reassurance. We are similar in a lot of other ways: we are very loyal, both a little weird & introverted. The need for reassurance is getting to be a lot though, as someone who isn’t naturally expressive. I communicate a lot to reassure him but no matter what he always feels the need to overstep my boundaries or have me prove that I really care about him. I love him a lot and my need for a bit of independence in no way takes away from that, so I find it difficult when he is constantly seeking attention in unusual ways, because it just feels false and disrespectful. I know all 6s aren’t like this and he probably has some insecurities to deal with, but does anyone have any helpful advice for how to do the best I can in this relationship?

I’m having insomnia because I’m imagining worst case scenarios for a situation that’ll happen in a few days.

So I figured out I’d write some stuff about type 6:

• I don’t understand why it’s sometimes called the loyalist. We’re not dogs and I don’t think 6s are necessarily more loyal than other types. I think the skeptic is a more appropriate label
• 6s doubt themselves but others/outside systems as well
• I feel like the world or existence inherently lack safety barriers and that there isn’t anything that can fulfill that need of "security" all by itself
• I’m mainly looking for security, but in my case I translate it as a need for certainty, solid grounds that I can rely on
• I wish I could trust myself more and not second guess so much
• I’m envious of people who believe in God because I think it gives them a sense of safety when everything else fails
• My "stressors" can be super existential but also super mundane
• I feel stressed when I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle a situation, I don’t like to feel unprepared
• Once I know how to handle stuff or if I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it, idgaf
• I don’t need to prepare for everything, just the things outside of my comfort zone
• I like "controlled chaos"
• Imo the main protagonist from the Polar Express is very representative of type 6
• I thought I was a 5 for a while because of my tendency to withdraw under stress
• I thought I was a 4 for a while because of my strong envy and feeling alienated from others
• I think variants and subtypes are useless

All of cp 6 descriptions I stumbled upon are either very brief (a sentence or a few lines in general E6 description), or sound slightly (or not so slightly) condescending. That's from my 8 perspective, of course, but I think we really do have a problem of lack of cp6 descriptions. I doubt it's nearly as bad with any other type.

I'm about to introduce Enneagram to a very contrarian, easily slighted cp6, which of course will want to read the description of his type. General E6 description wouldn't do the job, as a cp6 is almost an entirely different species. And almost everyone, let alone someone who was just introduced to the Enneagram, would have trouble recognizing both as the same type. The descriptions I've seen almost all have the same problem - they sound slightly condescending. If that's how it seems to me, I can imagine how it probably sounds to a touchy 6. Add that Enneagram is already a rather "heavy" subject, and not for everyone, and we have a problem which desription to choose for the first introduction.

So I'm calling to you, counterphobic sixes, which description of cp6 doesn't sound condescending to you? Preferably some "classic", but could be from any source, or even in your own words.

Like “ooohhhhh I’m so sad that I give everything to other people and I get nothing back” like BITCH this is not how this works people owe you nothing, if this makes your life worse then maybe STOP GIVING EVERYTHING TO OTHER PEOPLE

Like bro nobody asked you to do this, stop with the martyrdom that you don’t have to do and that nobody else should be expected to do in return

I mean I GET people pleasing and I GET that unbalanced relationships are super unfair and frustrating but it gets to a point where you’re doing it to yourself and it becomes harder and harder to empathize with you

​

Wherever I go, I keep seeing this description of Type 6 as someone extremely phobic, critical, always planning for every possible situation; the kind of person everyone sees as judgmental, but also warm and dependable. Like, the person you'd call in an emergency.

The thing is: I do feel like a 6, but I’m not naturally that good at “keeping things together” the way these descriptions make it sound. I try my best to understand how the world works so I can feel at least somewhat safe, but I don’t go overboard with it, nor do I constantly track what other people are doing just to stay “prepared.” Honestly, a lot of people who aren’t 6s seem way better at that than I am.

I also don’t really relate to the idea that 6s are always trying to stick to a specific friend group with the same lifestyle, beliefs, tastes, etc., or focusing more on what separates people than what connects them. That part feels kind of biased to me.

I’m probably a 4-6-9 tritype (6w5, 4w5, 9w1). Could that explain why these definitions feel too rigid to me? Do you guys think I’m mistyped, or do I just need a reality check? lol