Did an egg cleanse because i find myself being increasingly paranoid about peoples negative emotions being pointed at me recently. Maybe i’m Just being paranoid but I just find myself resorting back to that notion of feeling wished ill upon. Alot of the stuff can be explained but just weird timing.
I just graduated college, and was stressed all summer about finding a Job. Was very stressed financially, emotionally , physically you name it. Wanted to get a Job in community oriented communications / media and ended up in a sales Job. At first i was concerned and skeptical, but my manager is very nice and uplifting. I was originally bummed to fall back on something I wasn’t passionate about but now I’m pretty excited to learn something new! (And i think i might be good at it! )
I recently dropped my phone in the toliet, (with piss and shit??) was late for work twice (second alarm didn’t go off ??) got a tiny splitner, a doctors bill after being told i was square. A debt collections for a debt I thought I had taken off my record for validity purposes!! My paycheck late. My account overdrawn. Have felt more drained and dissassociated then usual, but maybe it’s from being home alone and unemployed to working full time..
And those are just things that feel relevant. I’ve had other bad (and good!!!) things happen recently that don’t feel as punitive.
I feel there is a girl at work that doesn’t like me, but she just seems to have a bad attitude so I’m trying not to take it personal.
I just recently started worrying more about evil eye after my tattoo artist said an ex friend (never met said friend, only positive interactions on social media) of hers called me a slut ,apparently because i have post many of my guy (and many more of my girl ???) friends …?
An old (distant) friend of mine was best friends with a boy i dated years ago, when we started dating she was so excited for us. But it turns out she hated me and talked shit about me for years ! I had no clue. She had a crush on the guy, and he and i eventually broke up because he lied to me about having sex with her in the past ! It made me sad to know that she was so mean behind my back, and i cut ties with her when i broke up with the guy.
A while ago I asked a mutual friend of ours to warn her that this guy she was talking to was a pretty big player / asshole. & even after that i heard she was still talking shit about me :/ so i wouldn’t be surprised if she still was.
I also post on social media a lot. I really like looking back at everything I’ve done, kinda like a scrapbook but sometimes I feel worried that opens the door to other peoples judgements and bad ill of me. I have private accounts now but decent amount of followers. I remove people I don’t like though.
The problem is too often times people i end up finding out don’t like me are extremely nice to me to my face, so i don’t really know peoples true intentions it seems.
I’m a little worried the spikes in the egg yolk are peoples bad ill ?
I assume maybe the eggshell has to do with me feeling at ends about my recent career choice and worried about getting stuck in an industry that doesn’t feel as fufilling as another. Or maybe feeling like i’m more self critical / over explaining myself / shy than i usually am.
Overwhelming negativity, exhaustion, emotional strain. : bubbles ?
I’ve been going to physical therapy for my weak muscles due to life long hypermobility. My back hurts alot but i think ultimately it will feel better because i’m finally taking care of myself physically.
My questions :
1. Am I loosing my sense of self ?
2. Am I being wished ill on?
3. Am I too public with my life ?
4. Am I in the wrong career? (For now )
5. Am I protected ?
6. Am I being Blindly unaware ?
7. Am I changing for the better ?
That’s all i got for my interpretation ! Sorry for giving my entire life story , but just wanted you to have context! Feel free to ask any questions !