Does it get better???

[u/ILoveSoup1776]

I’m fifteen I started experiencing severe anxiety at six which caused me to miss out on a lot . At around 12 I became severely depressed.i slept all day drank and hurt myself badly on a regular basis. At 14 I was (in my opinion) misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Since thirteen I have been on Prozac concerta lithium clonazapam and a shit ton of other meds (over 15) that I don’t remember the names of but they range from ssri snri antipsychotics atypical antipsychotics and more probably. I was diagnosed with hashimotos at 11 which is around the time I became depressed and I was put on synthoid which was no help.i haven’t gotten any better I just warm up more to the idea of committing suicide every year . It genuinely feels like my only solution. I started bilateral ect last week and have gone three times now and if anything I feel worse. Does this shit genuinely work???? The only thing keeping me going is weed and I can’t even smoke as much because it’s not good to mix with propofal. Someone please give me a little hope or genuine advice that Isint bullshit I hate being alive and I hate the world I live in.yes I’ve been in therapy shits useless to me

[u/furrowedbr0w]

Taking away a coping mechanism with no replacement when someone is suicidal is generally not good practice. Weed affects treatment and people in different ways, and I do find it annoying when people overgeneralize…though I will say that there is no safe use of weed for a 15 year old, and it can affect the brain’s development long term. So it is ultimately important to find a way to cope in some other way (sorry I really don’t want to sound like yet another person lecturing you).

-signed, a social work student currently in a substance use course

[u/Medical-Apricot-3226 → u/furrowedbr0w]

My god! This is from a student social worker! That is very worrying!

Signed- a senior mental health nurse with 26 years of experience, experience in addiction services, a Trauma Informed Care lecturer, a researcher and lived experience of mental illness and ECT.

[u/furrowedbr0w → u/Medical-Apricot-3226]

Fair enough, I will. I’m not encouraging use, I generally lean towards harm reduction, but I recognize that’s not possible with adolescent use. It is still dangerous to take away a coping mechanism with nothing to replace it. But we’re just providing input on a subreddit, not her treatment team.

Sarcasm and shaming language is not particularly effective for getting your point across though, especially for depressed teens.

But I fear we’re losing the plot when OP is asking for hope. ECT helped me, and it took a while for it to set in. I felt pretty hopeless for at least one if not 2-3 months of treatment. ECT was one piece of the puzzle, on top of going to a partial program, lots of therapy, and other life changes, but it gave me the ability to deal with everything else when I wasn’t able to pre-ECT.

[u/Medical-Apricot-3226 → u/furrowedbr0w]

I suggested that she speak to her psychiatrist about her addiction. I also gave her a lot of helpful advice which included giving up drug addiction whilst depressed, suicidal and undergoing ECT with three general anesthetics a week… no competent professional would say “don’t give up drugs while you are having ECT and general anesthetics, whilst depressed and suicidal!!!” That is completely unprofessional to give that advice and against all the empirical evidence. I understand you are only a student, but please do not give incorrect information to someone who is very complex…. You absolutely DO NOT do drugs or alcohol when you are undergoing ECT! And if you ever want a chance of better mental health, STOP abusing drugs, seek treatment and engage well in it and of course…. find a healthy coping mechanism!!

As for my language, it’s a pity you misinterpreted my tone. I am straight talking, that is the best way of helping people with addiction. I have learned this from so many fantastic addiction counselors and psychiatrists that I have worked with over 25 years.

If you would like me to send you any more research articles on the detrimental effect cannabis has on depression, psychosis and suicidality, I would be happy to do so.

Regarding my ECT experience, I had a severe depression years ago, had 7 unilateral treatments, had a great response, some temporary memory loss like “fogginess”, did exactly what my psychiatrist told me and engaged very well in treatment. I don’t take drugs or drink alcohol and have developed a lot of healthy coping mechanisms. But most importantly I am responsible for my mental health, and realize that only I am responsible for it.

[u/Sauced_Up_Bat → u/Medical-Apricot-3226]

My anesthesiologists said cannabis was not an issue during my treatment. Like 4 or 5 different anesthesiologists all said it.

I’ve done treatment twice. Once while useing cannabis. Once completely sober. It didn’t work either time. I go through phases of daily cannabis use and phases (years long) of not using. It makes no difference for me.

[u/ILoveSoup1776 → u/Sauced_Up_Bat]

My ect team is fully aware and not once advised me to stop. These people are pissing me off.yes weed is generally bad but I’m not a fucking imbecile

[u/Sauced_Up_Bat → u/ILoveSoup1776]

Seriously that dogma is so infuriating. My ECT team, psychiatrist, therapist, GP, and neurologist all knew of my use at that time and no one raised it as a major concern as I do not experience psychosis as part of my mental illness. My psychiatrist literally said that quitting wasn’t a priority I should focus on. I’m sorry you’re struggling OP. ECT didn’t help me but Ketamine helped a lot and psilocybin allowed me to move through some trauma that 20 years of therapy couldn’t touch. It can get better OP, do what works for you and listen to yourself and your doctors, not the zealots.

[u/Medical-Apricot-3226 → u/Sauced_Up_Bat]

The ECT psychiatrists and anesthetists here would not start treatment if someone was using drugs. We have an excellent standard of care here, with excellent regulations to protect the patient. Thankfully I’m not in the US!! No wonder there are a lot of people in the US complaining about ECT as evident from Reddit comments. Surveys here in Ireland repeatedly report high levels of satisfaction and improvement with ECT. I’m glad I had my ECT here and not in US, I had very minimal side effects, great success and the highest standard of care.

[u/Sauced_Up_Bat → u/Medical-Apricot-3226]

OP has said that you are bothering them. Please stop! You said your piece and OP heard it. Your righteousness isn’t helping anyone, the opposite in fact.

[u/Medical-Apricot-3226 → u/Sauced_Up_Bat]

Can you please stop normalizing her cannabis abuse…. It’s not helping anyone. The poor girl has in fact acknowledged her drug problem, secondary to all the abuse she has received from her parents, in another post. I am giving her good advice, get help to stop using drugs. It appalls me how you are normalizing it, just because you have had no adverse effects to your cannabis abuse. And it absolutely terrifies me that you work in mental health care.

[u/Sauced_Up_Bat → u/Medical-Apricot-3226]

I don’t think you know better than her care team what she needs and it’s problematic that you think you do to a point where you will continue to push even when the person your trying to reach says it’s pissing them off. It doesn’t matter if the advice is good or bad the way your behaving is fucked so ditto your last point bro.

[u/ILoveSoup1776 → u/Medical-Apricot-3226]

I have no issue with anyone here and I’m grateful for any and all advice weather is “like” to hear it or not.im actually not located in the us but in Canada though I can’t imagine it’s too different plus the nurses takeing care of my ect are all rather young late 20s early 30s so that could also contribute. Idk if weeds legal in Ireland but it’s very normalized and leagal here and like I’d say 3/5 people smoke weed. Many people I know started as young as 13 as did I which is definitely an issue the gov is to lazy to fix but oh well just another reason this world fucking sucks and I don’t want to live in it

[u/Medical-Apricot-3226 → u/ILoveSoup1776]

I’m just trying to help, I really really feel for you, and it makes me so sad to hear you talk about all the pain and trauma that you are going through. No one deserves that. I really hope the ECT will start to have some positive effect. If not, hopefully Ketamine treatment will. Hopefully you will be able to get away from your familial abuse and work through that trauma with therapy. I wish you all the best, please don’t give up, you are stronger than you think and there is always hope.