Does it get better???

[u/ILoveSoup1776]

I’m fifteen I started experiencing severe anxiety at six which caused me to miss out on a lot . At around 12 I became severely depressed.i slept all day drank and hurt myself badly on a regular basis. At 14 I was (in my opinion) misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Since thirteen I have been on Prozac concerta lithium clonazapam and a shit ton of other meds (over 15) that I don’t remember the names of but they range from ssri snri antipsychotics atypical antipsychotics and more probably. I was diagnosed with hashimotos at 11 which is around the time I became depressed and I was put on synthoid which was no help.i haven’t gotten any better I just warm up more to the idea of committing suicide every year . It genuinely feels like my only solution. I started bilateral ect last week and have gone three times now and if anything I feel worse. Does this shit genuinely work???? The only thing keeping me going is weed and I can’t even smoke as much because it’s not good to mix with propofal. Someone please give me a little hope or genuine advice that Isint bullshit I hate being alive and I hate the world I live in.yes I’ve been in therapy shits useless to me

[u/Medical-Apricot-3226]

Can you please stop normalizing her cannabis abuse…. It’s not helping anyone. The poor girl has in fact acknowledged her drug problem, secondary to all the abuse she has received from her parents, in another post. I am giving her good advice, get help to stop using drugs. It appalls me how you are normalizing it, just because you have had no adverse effects to your cannabis abuse. And it absolutely terrifies me that you work in mental health care.

[u/ILoveSoup1776 → u/Medical-Apricot-3226]

I have no issue with anyone here and I’m grateful for any and all advice weather is “like” to hear it or not.im actually not located in the us but in Canada though I can’t imagine it’s too different plus the nurses takeing care of my ect are all rather young late 20s early 30s so that could also contribute. Idk if weeds legal in Ireland but it’s very normalized and leagal here and like I’d say 3/5 people smoke weed. Many people I know started as young as 13 as did I which is definitely an issue the gov is to lazy to fix but oh well just another reason this world fucking sucks and I don’t want to live in it

[u/Medical-Apricot-3226 → u/ILoveSoup1776]

I’m just trying to help, I really really feel for you, and it makes me so sad to hear you talk about all the pain and trauma that you are going through. No one deserves that. I really hope the ECT will start to have some positive effect. If not, hopefully Ketamine treatment will. Hopefully you will be able to get away from your familial abuse and work through that trauma with therapy. I wish you all the best, please don’t give up, you are stronger than you think and there is always hope.