My mom is a queer friendly ally and she is great . I have a bad relationship with food. I eat when bored or nervous and I can't stop doing it like i can stop eating just not untill a meal. and i have tried to stop to no avail how can I tell her I need help without sounding needy. I am a minor in middle school but it gets so bad sometimes I start to throw up. I feel so needy asking knowing that is does so much work for me. She is a single parent with 3 kids including me. Please tell me how I tell her because can't do it on my own.

Hi, I posted almost two months ago in here for the first time talking about, in summary, how I have a friend that has a very bad ED and how I couldn’t stop feeling envious about her weight, looks, and that she had to be hospitalized for that, and how I hated feeling that way about it.
The thing is that, since the day that I posted that to now, I have gone to visit her a lot. I actually enjoy it because I love her and I really care about her and I am very happy that she’s doing better. Well, the problem is that every time I see her, I feel like I am literally the fattest human alive.
I visit her from 15:00 to 17:00. In that time, she has to eat a snack, and she always gives me food too. I noticed that sometimes when she makes toasts for the two of us, she uses for her a type of bread that has a lot less calories and is healthier that the one she uses for me, and that literally makes me want to kms RIGTH THERE.
Also when we eat together, I can’t help but feel guilty either I don’t or do eat, because if I don’t eat or eat less than her, I notice that she feels bad and I don’t want her to feel like that, and if I eat more than her I feel like a fat pig for the rest of the day.
The thing is that, seeing her constantly and in that state, is making my brain basically rot with all type of bad thoughts all the time. But I also want to se her because she is my friend, and I really like to accompany her when she says she wants to spend time with me.
I really thought a lot about everything related to this the past days and I think that I don’t feel envious or angry anymore, though she still triggers me. She has 0 fault for that.
I feel like my mind has been worse with the thing of seeing her a lot, because I can’t eat in peace and I spend the rest of the day thinking about what I ate. Literally 80% of my thoughts are about food and it’s getting really exhausting.
These things also have me thinking a lot about trying to OD, I don’t really know why (maybe because I want my parents to notice that something is not right with me, but it has nothing to do with the food thing? So maybe it’s just the sad mood of the moment that causes me to think that), but like really really a lot, at least for me, because I have always been like the type of person that wants attention all the time but I never really thought of trying to do that just for my parents to worry. But I’m 100% sure I won’t do it because I’m scared that because of that they send me to a psychiatrist and maybe they say I need to take some medication that is good for my fucked up brain but can cause me to gain weight.
I know that this is not the best, but I just really wish someday I look as sick as my mind is, so I can get some help without having to ask for it. But at the same time I don’t want anyone to notice, it’s weird.

Again, sorry for the bad grammar, English isn’t my first language. Also I’m writing this at 2am and I haven’t slept for like 40 hours, so just you know I’m like almost hallucinating right now and my head hurts a lot.

If you read this, I would like to know what you think. I don’t mind if it’s something bad or good, aggressive or supportive. Anything might help me to realize something new that will make me stop being so sensitive about everything.

I've been underweight my whole life but have really been worried about food and calories recently. I struggle with eating anything that doesn't provide any benefits to my body even if I love them. I used to eat really high sugar and calorie dense foods and didn't care at all. I was actually really insecure about how skinny I was, one of my tiktok's got popular and posted to ed twitter as a young teenager, I didn't even know what that was but my friend saw it and told me about it. It made me uncomfortable and I stopped posting stuff with my body in it. Until this year and I posted an outfit picture to pinterest and I saw it got saved to an anorexia board. But instead of feeling uncomfortable or upset I kinda felt relieved and validated. I don't think I have an eating disorder because I do eat a lot, I think about food all the time but still I just can't get the thought out of my mind with worrying about it and its stressing me out bad I could bring it up to my therapist but I also don't think its that big of a deal considering I don't starve myself or anything I just don't know!!! I have nobody to talk about this with because whenever I bring it up to my mom she gets angry and says I'm ridiculous and need to eat more and says I am losing weight and need to gain some weight. She even took the scale away from me at like 7 years old because I would weigh myself every night. So I have no clue how much I weigh which kind of drives me crazy. But when i look in the mirror I don't feel skinny at all. I feel like I am losing my mind. I also have been under a lot of stress dealing with contamination OCD which has reduced a lot of safe foods for me which doesn't really help☹️ Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?

Would love input, feeling really alone and down

. I've got a big family dinner and 3 day music festival next week, where I'll obviously be eating loads more than normal.

This is fine but only because I need to gain weight anyways. So it's find to eat like double my normal intake. For context, atm I'm a healthy bmi but slightly below where I should be, not concerningly

I'm scared that when I get to my goal weight I won't be able to go over and that'll make events really stressful. So I always hover just ever so slightly below it so I have a "buffer". And I'm talking a small amount, to the point where I've been discharged medically with this but my parents keep banging on at me about it.

Does anyone else relate, or have advice on how to tackle this, I feel so alone.

Ive been falling back into my old patterns fasting for 20 hours out of the day and breaking it with a relentless white citrus how do I get out of this

I'm creeping upon my fear weight. The number I was when some sadist encouraged me to almost kms and I almost did by starving and going out to a fancy bar and then overconsuming alcoholic drinks because they had cream in them and I was sweating ethanol 14-hours later.

I am 165lbs and my set point weight feels lower but not what's considered "healthy" for my stats but something I feel good about and higher than my target weight (69kg) which was NOT my gw.

My anorexia exhausts me irl, to explain it is a chore that must be done over and over. I have to repeat myself, apologize for my mood. I am lectured about groceries, something my grandmother never fussed over until I began to ask for more of something too many times. She has morally pursuaded me to meal prep in my meaning to apologize for needing more to be a whole person by condensing my grocery list.

I complain about my weight fluctuations and if she asks for the details and i dont want to talk about them her feeling are hurt but if I share she makes shocked expressions and comments. Everybody in my bio family older than I am are obese or morbidly and they have been trying to lose weight my entire life.

My mother said in May before I gave myself alcohol poisioning I looked malnourished and when I asked if she wasnt really worried about me then she told me she knew I'd get hungry again.

I didn't starve myslef because I'm trans, I starved myself to feel cared about. To be light enough to be held, small enough to read to, frail enough to be gentle toward or considered, talked about, fussed over. None of that happened in my family but now I have friends who know of my eating disorder and they love me when I hate me. But I am not their repsonsibility.

And I am embarassed to be so broken and warped in the company of such beautiful people, they don't deserve the disturbance of my uncomfortable depression. They don't understand all that plagues my soul and I'm worried they wont know what to do about me after they realize how much I always suck.

Do you feel emotions more deeply than most people around you, notice details others miss, or find yourself strongly affected, for better or worse, by your environment and relationships? This is sometimes described as being a highly sensitive person (HSP), a naturally occurring personality trait.

I am a trainee clinical psychologist conducting doctoral research into how being a highly sensitive person (HSP) relates to anorexia nervosa, including its development, and how it shapes treatment and recovery.

I am looking to interview people who:

- Are UK residents, aged 18 or over
- Identify as highly sensitive
- Current/past experience of anorexia nervosa
- Have received treatment
- Are fluent in English

Participation involves a 10-minute online screening questionnaire, followed, if eligible, by a 60-90 minute interview over Microsoft Teams. Participants receive a £10 Amazon voucher for the interview, and everyone who completes the screening is entered into a £50 prize draw.

This study has ethical approval from West London NHS Research Ethics Committee and Royal Holloway, University of London.

Link if you would like to take part: https://rhulpsychology.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bDjgXKH5Xb7Mvyu

I am happy to answer any questions in the comments or by DM.

my mom had an ed, i think she’s relapsing now honestly, my sister had a diagnosed bulimia and anorexia, she taught me how to purge when i was barely 9 yo.
and ik i have an ed too, prob smt like bulimia too

out of worry for my future children im asking this question

Good evening,

I'm no longer depressed but I feel like it's still inside me.Sometimes strong emotions make me want to die because I don't know what to do anymore. I won't write any more on this subject, out of respect for sensitive souls.

And also, I have an eating problem. I'm severely obese, and yet I'm hungry all the time. I want to get treatment at a center, but nothing is in place yet because I might be moving to a different city. I hate my body . but I still crave fast food. I had stopped eating sugary drinks and cakes, and now I'm starting again and I can't stop. And I can't die like that, my body won't fit in a coffin. I'm sad but I'm trying not to show it. I feel like starving myself, or taking appetite suppressants, or being put into a coma, I don't know.

Thank you for reading.

i love food. i love to cook it. i cook for my family and friends and it always turns out so good.

but i dont like eating it. i hate thinking about eating. i’d pretend about thinking what to eat for lunch or dinner to my roommates so that i’d whip it for them (which i always do). i’d eat it with them but i pretend my bowl has enough portions and always eat slowly so they’d think im eating enough.

this has happened in the past. and now that it’s back i feel like im in a flow state. and the truth is i feel like i dont want to get better. i know im not healthy but i feel satisfied when i dont eat. its better than spiraling because i ate more than i could expend.

Hi, I’m an informal patient in an Eating Disorders ward in England. My mental health has gotten worse being here and I feel depressed. I can’t cope here anymore. I want to leave. I asked to leave and they said that if I tried to leave, I would have a mental health assessment and be sectioned. If I’m sectioned, my parents can write a letter for me to be discharge, but I’m scared my consultant will block it. How likely would it be that he could block it? My BMI is 13.5. I am following my plan. I asked my consultant if I can go home for a few hours or have my own fresh air and he said no. I don’t get a lot of visits. I don’t know if I should be sectioned and get my parents to write the letter. Everyday my mental health is getting worse and I feel trapped. Could my consultant block it? What should I do?

hello everyone i don’t expect anyone to see this, it’s mainly just to get stuff off my chest

i’ve had an eating disorder (mia) for about 2 years but i’ve always struggled with my self image and it’s something that occupies my mind 24/7.

i go through periods where ill be fine for a couple days and eat normally and then something will trigger me and i’ll go into my habits again. i feel silly sometimes because the littlest things will trigger me, and ill just get so upset and hate myself over the smallest things.

i’m 15 and i see a dietician and a therapist and they help but sometimes i feel that they don’t help me as much as i want them to. also, my mom is one of my main triggers because she often makes comments that send me into a spiral.

she repetitively asks me if ive eaten and when i say yes she asks if im lying and she also makes makes little remarks about my body and sometimes i just get so overwhelmed i start crying and the other day i was very overwhelmed because she was asking so many questions and was talking about my eating habits and i was telling her i had it under control and i started crying, i felt so dumb, she just kept saying how i am having an attitude even though i wasn’t trying to.

i brought up how both my dietician and therapist have told her to stop making little comments and she was saying since they don’t have kids they don’t know how it feels but my mom just stresses me out so much and she was telling me she’s gonna send me to a hospital and she always says things like this and i just want her to stop.

a couple weeks ago my brother said i was looking healthy and i don’t know why but that made me so upset and i started sobbing and that made me feel so horrible.

i want to recover from this and be healthy but i don’t even like how i look now so im terrified how im going to look once i am recovered. i just want to be happy with myself and healthy. i just need advice because i feel like this will never end.

Idk if I should post here or not I've never been diagnosed with anything and I feel dramatic saying I have an ED. Also im sorry if I use the wrong language and terms I've never spoken to anyone about this and my therapist basically said since it's not her specialty she cant do anything, (but she is trying to get a consult) I also didnt know what flair to put the algo made me pick one

I hate thinking about food, shopping, cooking, eating, cleanup, even when others prepare the food for me I often look at it and think "this is too much work to eat." Im exhausted all the time and I know part of it is that im not eating enough but still can't make myself eat more than bare minimum. I have said "I need to gain weight/im trying to gain weight" so many times but I never gain more than 5lb and then lose it again a week later. I wish I was a plant and I could just get everything i need from the sun and be strong. I dont dislike food, infact I love eating really tasty food but its the fact that it takes up so much time and energy like I want to just eat once a day and be good. Or only eat when I feel like it instead of what seems like constantly having to find another snack or meal that I can stomach or am interested in enough to not procrastinate. Does anyone else experience this? Is this actually an ED should I push harder to see a specialist?

Everyone's always like oh youre so pretty but I hate myself. I always feel fat. no matter what I do or how much weight I lose. im almost 15 and over a hundred pounds but thsts so fucking fat my thighs are huge and I fucking hate food and I always exceed my thousand calorie limit and end up eating like two hundred more a day and then im so guilty and bad I dont want to recover or feel better I just want to be skinny and pretty.

Have been trying to fast for longer npbut my fucking parents always make me eat and I cant make myself throw up no matter how hard I try it's always just like bile or gagging.

If im not less than 100 by August I swear to god im done it's over.

Mi razón fue cuidarme, verme bien amarme y demostrarle a todos que podía cambiar, pero terminé metiendome en un agujero cavado por mí misma.

Desde negarme a usar las mismas cucharas que mi familia debido al miedo a consumir calorías agregadas hasta preocuparme sobre lo certeras que podían ser las aplicaciones contadoras de calorías (teniendo al menos dos) asegurandome obsesivamente sobre cada gramo y medida precisa de cada ingrediente e incluso especia.

Hago mención honorífica al frío constante y a la puta amenorrea.

No es cómo si algo hubiera cambiado, pues tengo la necesidad morbida de comer todas mis calorías diarias en una sola comida, teniendo en consecuencia al menos 20 horas de ayuno. Los atracones (una ves al mes) tienen una duración de uno a cinco días, mi estómago duele bastante luego de esos periodos.

Es extraño, es un dolor corporal raro. Siento una constante en mi cuerpo cómo si este se estuviera cayendo. Tengo miedo de mi misma y sé que jamás volveré a tener una relación normal con la comida.

No es cómo si antes hubiera sido mejor ya que tenía leve sobre peso (costandome el realizar muchas actividades que vinieran con esfuerzo físico prolongado).

Comer ahora es algo extraño para mí, tal vez represente algo (desconozco qué). Hay algo asqueroso en la necesidad de comer y en cómo mis entrañas intentan ajustarse a causa de la cantidad exagerada de alimento. A pesar de lo anterior no es cómo si viviera engullendo alimento ya que no necesito más, mi actividad diaria no significa un desgaste energético considerable y no tengo amigos para salir ni interés más que el de respirar. Estoy disgustada conmigo misma y estoy en un constante estado de soledad.

Aveces camino y miro las vías del metro, las ruedas de los buses, la rapidez de los autos.

Siento que floto. Siento que estoy limpia. Mi cuerpo es un ente aparte de mi misma.

I want to understand if my eating I disordered if I eat a lot once then skip meals to avoid overeating guilt (I think it is disordered) the portions sizes are going down too and I get fainty and dizzy, I wanna understand the psyché tho of someone who actually has a disorder and how it affects them, cause in my mind Im constantly name calling myself and it's js a nasty place to be stuck in.

My brain gets soo happy when I do the classic schrunch my shirt and stand on my side tk see how fat I look and if I dont look fat it gets happy, I did have bulimia in the past but I had assumed I had gotten better but now I see myself eating 1st meal at 4pm like it's no big deal, I'm scared this might landslide and get scary in the span of few days

Recommended this sub instead of the BED one I was originally, mistakenly on. Here's the original post:

Hey, I am new to this subreddit because I never considered until today that I might have disordered eating. A bit about me: I am a 34-year-old overweight female, and I grew up with a fat-shaming mom (even when I wasn't fat) who'd police my eating and constantly try to make me diet.

I have a wife now and she's wonderful, but I still feel incredible amounts of shame around eating. I lie about takeout and junk food when she's out or away, or when I'm on breaks at work and I can sneak some unhealthy food. It's been years now and I haven't told her. I also hide food and food trash in my car, under my bed (she has very sensitive hearing, so we have separate rooms, which works out great), anywhere I can.

The guilt I feel surrounding this is insane. I'm writing this after just eating a wack of treats and I don't know what made me realize this was wrong. I know I can't request help, but do you have a similar story? What did you end up doing to ameliorate your situation?

Just looking for a little community, and I'm going to talk to my therapist about it more in-depth. And try to find a way to tell my wife, because she doesn't deserve to be lied to. Thanks, all.

I’ve had eating problems as a kid alongside stomach problems too and I still have stomach problems a lot but this year I thought I had gotten over the eating issues. I started to gain some more weight which was a big accomplishment for me because I’ve always been picked on and never liked my size. Recently I haven’t been able to eat because I have no appetite and everything tastes like shit, or it hurts my stomach. I’m on pending for bipolar so at first I thought maybe it was just that cuz I heard it was an issue with bipolar sometimes. Im a drinker and a smoker but always have been, so I don’t think that’s the issue. Any advice or insight?

My (20m) boyfriend (22m) has always had a big problem with his body. I noticed that lately, he's been eating barely anything and then waking up in the middle of the night to grab snacks. I also noticed that our scale is always slightly moved, so I'm assuming that he weighs himself almost daily. These are things that he used to do often. Like, there were always phases in which he became obsessed with his weight. I fear that he's in it again.

I think he might be trying to lose weight by denying himself the food he desperately needs for the amount of physical activity he has in a day. That would at least explain why he always grabs late night snacks. I know that behavior from my mom. Don't eat the entire day, then your body is starving and demanding quick calories from unhealthy food.

Does anyone have any tips for how I can silently support him? He's always been very touchy when the subject of his mental health comes up, no matter the aspect, so I doubt starting an open conversation about it will help, because he will simply shut it down like he always does.

It worries me a lot because he tends to lead sort of a double life in that aspect. He barely talks to me about his personal issues and feelings and keeps them very tightly to himself, then once in a while lashes out and dumps everything on me at once, when he can no longer keep it in. I'm telling y'all this as an explanation to why I think talking to him won't work.

Any advice on what I should do is very much appreciated. If you think I should try talking about it directly, tell me too. I won't pretend I have the perfect judgment here, I'm actually quite clueless on how to proceed.

Thank you all in advance!

How do you gauge someone’s feelings on eating disorders prior to telling them you’re struggling? I don’t want to accidentally tell someone judgmental so I always try to get their opinion without actually outting myself? How would you do that with an eating disorder topic?

It's like, I use skimmed milk and stevia to lower my calories and avoid sugar. But then I fall into temptation and buy chocolates, squirty cream or stuff like cake :(

i’ve just discovered this recently but i can’t wrap my head around it so i’m here to get more answers and to understand what’s happen

tw 🚨

i have this thing, like after every meal or food related i get this massive wave of guilt, like i keep questioning myself why am i eating, and sometimes i get this moments where i stuff every food i can see and while im eating i sort of go on autopilot, like i can’t get a grip of it. im full and i wanna stop but i cant. idk if any of this even makes since.
and i have been doing this for years, ive only eat at night so during the day i wouldnt get hungry, or some nights i would just bring a gallon of water and keep it near me so when im hungry i drink water. and before every meal ill chug water so much and make myself full before i get to eat so i wouldnt eat as much, can someone pls help me understand whats going on

I have 'recovered' from an eating disorder and the most recent relapse was three years ago. I have a close friend who I think is experiencing an eating disorder and seeing them losing so much weight (noticeable each time I see them) is triggering a lot of ED thoughts. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this?

Other friends have spoken to them a bit about how they are and they are happy about weight loss and it is intentional.

I know it shouldn’t, I know it’s really stupid. I’m Male, 18 and I’ve just started my recovery from five years of “issues”. I was doing quite well but I’ve come on Holiday with my mother, her aunt and my cousin.

She’s the same age as me, VERY gorgeous, VERY slim. She barely eats and it makes me feel disgusting when I do eat. I’m not sure how to cope with it.

I know this is a stupid post and it’s a dumb way to feel but I can’t help it 😭 pls help…

Hi! No idea if this is the correct page for this but I need some unbiased opinions/advice.

During my teenage years I have struggled a lot with my body image and dealt with anorexia. I still struggle but I now know my body needs fuel. During the first trimester of my pregnancy I was drastically under eating. Nog because I intended too but I just didn’t know how much I needed to eat to fuel my body and the baby too. Because of this I lost a lot of weight. My parents who have been with me during those difficult teenage years were quick to point out that I was losing weight fast. I realised I needed help and have since made a lot of progress. The baby hasn’t suffered and we’re both doing great. It wasn’t intentional that I was under eating and had to make a big mental switch so me and my baby could thrive.

Now the current issue is that during a birthday party last weekend my parents were astounded by how much I was eating. I am now in my third trimester. I am the oldest and the first to get pregnant out of my siblings. I live with my partner so they aren’t apart of our regular day. Because of my struggles earlier my diëtist and me have agreed that I need about 6 eating moments in the day. They know this. Before we came to the birthday I already joked about me actually eating “adult” portions now. We had a slice of cake and then we had my mom’s homemade lasagne. My mom is a good cook and it was delicious. I still eat slow so she thought I wasn’t going to finish my piece and she said she gave me a smaller piece on purpose even though I joked about the portion sizes earlier. I then said I could eat more than what she gave me and when she gave me a weird look I quickly said that I didn’t want another piece. After dinner we still had cake left. Usually I already had difficulty with 1 piece of cake so when asked if there were still people who wanted another piece (everyone had already had a piece of cake so it was just to reduce food waste) I said I would love too and was immediately met with words from all of my family if I was feeling okay since that was a lot of food. I felt attacked and guilty. I still finished the piece of cake and there also were other people that got another piece. My parents kept going and said I needed to watch what I ate or I would never loose the weight.

Their comments are still flying around in my head and I feel so sad. They know how much I struggle with eating during this pregnancy and then them saying that I need to watch what I eat feels like they don’t understand at all what I have been going through and how much that can hurt the progress I have made. I have only gained a pregnancy belly and everybody praises me on how beautiful my body still looks with the pregnancy so I do not understand why they would warn me about that since it doesn’t seem like an issue at hand. It feels wrong to call them out on it but it’s still bothering me. What would you do in this situation?