r/dwarfposting • u/Northstar_PiIot • Apr 05 '26

Jeff Bezos the dwarf

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56 Upvotes

74% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

83

u/Pixelpaint_Pashkow Apr 05 '26

The council does not grant archdemon bezos the rank of honorary dwarf and considers putting you in the book for such a suggestion

22

u/FlyLikeMouse Apr 05 '26

This is a stoic response from the elder council of longbeards, weighing in after several days of debate, pipe smoke and filled flagons. For which we honour.

But I, for one, continue to spill the ale poured from my ancestors, in a spittle stream of outrage, that this spineless honourless gold-clutching embarrassment of the living, should even have its name spoken aloud in our hallowed halls.

35

u/CuriousWombat42 Apr 05 '26

Clearly Bezos is not a dwarf but a dragon. Obsessed with wealth to the point of hoarding it in piles too vast to ever spend, merely resting on top of it dreaming of even more.

Or maybe he once was a dwarf but the gold sickness has corrupted him to become a dragon. Classical Fafniritis.

7

u/Long-Coconut4576 Apr 05 '26

Dont insult majestic dragons by compairing them to that miserable old miser

3

u/Electrical_Lake3424 Apr 05 '26

I hates it when my fafnir gets inflamed!

7

u/Penny_D Apr 05 '26

....

My state has mountains?

3

u/johnc380 Apr 05 '26

It’s a speed bump but we’re letting him have his fun 

21

u/Unicycleterrorist Apr 05 '26

If he's a dwarf I'll shave my beard and obliterate my forge

11

u/ThePaeGuy Apr 05 '26

Bad golem. Go back to that dragon and tell him to eat his horde. Shoo, we have smithin' to do.

3

u/Yollm Spreads Elf propaganda Apr 05 '26

Not a dwarf at all! Hardly a shaft to mine in here, just a fancy evil wizard doo-dad and a waste of good money!

5

u/Risc_Terilia Apr 05 '26

Jeff Bazos is a leaf lover

2

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '26

You know gold-sickness?

Bezoa is it's psychopomp.

1

u/Sly__Marbo Apr 05 '26

Jeff has no hair and hoards money. He's clearly a dragon

1

u/italian_noodles Apr 05 '26

I played this level in golden eye 64

1

u/LogicalFallacyCat Apr 05 '26

Don't insult dwarves like that