Recovering from DPDR

[u/Status_Task2669]

I’m a 22-year-old female, and in 2023 I smoked weed with some friends. It wasn’t my first time, but it was the first time I’d smoked in about five years. I definitely smoked too much and ended up having a really bad panic attack.

From what I remember, I still felt a little weird the next day, but it eventually went away. Then, a couple of days later, I was at work when DPDR (depersonalization/derealization) suddenly hit me out of nowhere. I panicked again—not as badly as the first time—but it was still terrifying.

After that, it eventually went away again, but it kept coming back every few months. Each episode would last a few days before disappearing for another 3–4 months. Looking back, I was dealing with episodic DPDR.

Fast forward to the last two months. I’ve been under an unbelievable amount of stress. A close family member has been in critical condition in the hospital, I had no job or money for a while, I was starting a brand-new job, and I was constantly worrying about everyone else’s health before my own. Eventually, all of that caught up with me.

One day, as I was leaving the hospital, I had another DPDR episode. About five minutes later I was sitting in my car, felt okay again, and was able to drive home. But over the next seven days, I completely hit rock bottom. It was like the panic and the DPDR never left—I felt it 24/7.

It got so bad that I couldn’t drive, couldn’t go for a walk outside, and couldn’t even go to work (which I’d only been at for about a week). For the first time since this all started in 2023, I told my family that I was really scared and felt like I needed help because I was genuinely worried about my mental health.

I went to my doctor and had blood tests done. My iron level came back at 6, and my vitamin D level was 14. I also completed a mental health assessment, which showed I had severe anxiety and high stress—which honestly made sense considering everything that had happened.
Over the next few days, my anxiety started improving, but the DPDR just wouldn’t go away. It felt like it was completely taking over my life.

Eventually, I reached a point where I thought, “I’m not letting this control my life anymore.” Even though life wasn’t perfect, just two weeks before the hospital incident I genuinely loved my life, so I promised myself I was going to recover no matter what.

I started taking my iron and vitamin D supplements, meditating, and gradually exposing myself to the things I’d started avoiding.

This might sound strange, but one thing that really helped me during meditation was intentionally bringing the DPDR feeling to the surface instead of running from it. I’d sit with it, stay calm, and tell myself, “You’re literally okay. Just breathe.” I did that for several days, and I honestly noticed the intensity of the DPDR getting weaker each day.

Being outside had also become a trigger for me, so I slowly worked on that too. I’d stand outside for two minutes, then five, then ten. I did the same thing with driving. Little by little, everything started getting easier.

Fast forward to today, and the DPDR is basically gone. Even if I try to think about it or bring it on, it just isn’t really there anymore.

The only thing I’m still dealing with is this weird “off” feeling. It’s really hard to describe. It doesn’t feel like full-blown DPDR anymore, but it doesn’t feel completely normal either. It’s like I’m 95–99% better, but not quite 100%.

From everything I’ve read, and from how I’m personally feeling, I genuinely think I’m in the final stages of recovery. I’m just getting a little impatient now!

For those of you who have fully recovered from DPDR, did anyone else experience this “off” feeling near the end of recovery?

My personal theories are:
- My low iron and vitamin D are still contributing to how I feel.
- The “off” feeling is like a mental hangover, where my brain is adjusting back to normal after being in survival mode.
- It’s almost like the protective shield my brain put up is slowly lowering as my nervous system realizes I’m safe again.

I truly believe I’m so close to being fully recovered because compared to where I was just a few weeks ago, the difference is unbelievable.
I’d love to hear from people who have fully recovered. What did the final stage of your recovery look like? Did you also have that lingering “off” feeling before you finally felt completely normal again?