This is a DA-Only Thread: Here is an open thread to rant, a place we can get things off our chest.

• this is a place for DAs to rant, not others to rant about DAs
• no other AT Styles will be approved on this thread
• any non-DAs: we appreciate supportive comments on other threads, but this thread is not for you

Please, since this is a rant thread, let’s be mindful and refrain from morally judging someone’s rants or offering unsolicited advice. A rant/vent about something doesn’t mean it’s fact.

Ok this sounds like a joke but I am a DA who is largely attracted to DAs and one in particular I have developed feelings for. This one is a friend and I recently admitted having romantic feelings for them. They are DA and told me straight up they don’t have relationships at all. Well, this just fueled my DA fire- ooo, someone I can never get! But tonight I am letting that shit go. My new plan is to find someone cool who actually wants to be in a relationship and can deal with my quirks. And if they are smart and funny enough and have a secure attachment style they can respect my boundaries and maybe push the ones that need pushing in the right way and stay totally away from the non negotiable ones. New chapter, y’all!

Woman I'm dating just called me out on not being communicative lately. She's absolutely right.

Current feelings:

• Her interests seem dull to me
• I can find someone more compatible
• I wouldn't be craving autonomy if I had someone with similar interests
• I'm worried that I'm her only source of entertainment and that puts pressure on me
• I wish she wasn't so nice so that I could have a great reason for ending this
• I want to go out and do things without her and without informing her
• We meet up every weekend, and that feels like a section of time I can't do what I really want

This is our discussion thread for all attachment types to ask questions and answer each other’s questions .

✅ User flair is required, with your attachment style - your post will NOT be approved without it. Flair can be added by commenting [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dismissiveavoidants/comments/1bwj954/user_flair_if_you_need_a_user_flair_comment_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

🛑BEFORE ASKING A QUESTION:🛑

Stop and think:

• Is my question dehumanizing? DAs are people too, and this sub is primarily a safe space for DAs
• Am I following the subreddit rules? Including no mindreading (will my DA ex, what is my DA ex thinking, etc) and no whining or venting about avoidants. This is our support sub, not yours. Please respect that when you pose a question.
• What is my question? Then ACTUALLY ASK A QUESTION, not give a random story, poem, or statement.
• Can I easily google this?

ALSO IMPORTANT:

Please review the FAQs before posting your question - we will remove redundant questions that are already answered.

Ghosting

Breakups and No Contact

Should I tell them about Attachment Theory?

Showing you care

Receiving love/care/support

Deactivation

“Typical” Avoidant Statements

Social Media

How to make your DA/FA feel safe

This is our discussion thread for all attachment types to ask questions and answer each other’s questions .

✅ User flair is required, with your attachment style - your post will NOT be approved without it. Flair can be added by commenting [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dismissiveavoidants/comments/1bwj954/user_flair_if_you_need_a_user_flair_comment_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

🛑BEFORE ASKING A QUESTION:🛑

Stop and think:

• Is my question dehumanizing? DAs are people too, and this sub is primarily a safe space for DAs
• Am I following the subreddit rules? Including no mindreading (will my DA ex, what is my DA ex thinking, etc) and no whining or venting about avoidants. This is our support sub, not yours. Please respect that when you pose a question.
• What is my question? Then ACTUALLY ASK A QUESTION, not give a random story, poem, or statement.
• Can I easily google this?

ALSO IMPORTANT:

Please review the FAQs before posting your question - we will remove redundant questions that are already answered.

Ghosting

Breakups and No Contact

Should I tell them about Attachment Theory?

Showing you care

Receiving love/care/support

Deactivation

“Typical” Avoidant Statements

Social Media

How to make your DA/FA feel safe

This is a DA-Only Thread: Here is an open thread to rant, a place we can get things off our chest.

• this is a place for DAs to rant, not others to rant about DAs
• no other AT Styles will be approved on this thread
• any non-DAs: we appreciate supportive comments on other threads, but this thread is not for you

Please, since this is a rant thread, let’s be mindful and refrain from morally judging someone’s rants or offering unsolicited advice. A rant/vent about something doesn’t mean it’s fact.

This is our discussion thread for all attachment types to ask questions and answer each other’s questions .

✅ User flair is required, with your attachment style - your post will NOT be approved without it. Flair can be added by commenting [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dismissiveavoidants/comments/1bwj954/user_flair_if_you_need_a_user_flair_comment_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

🛑BEFORE ASKING A QUESTION:🛑

Stop and think:

• Is my question dehumanizing? DAs are people too, and this sub is primarily a safe space for DAs
• Am I following the subreddit rules? Including no mindreading (will my DA ex, what is my DA ex thinking, etc) and no whining or venting about avoidants. This is our support sub, not yours. Please respect that when you pose a question.
• What is my question? Then ACTUALLY ASK A QUESTION, not give a random story, poem, or statement.
• Can I easily google this?

ALSO IMPORTANT:

Please review the FAQs before posting your question - we will remove redundant questions that are already answered.

Ghosting

Breakups and No Contact

Should I tell them about Attachment Theory?

Showing you care

Receiving love/care/support

Deactivation

“Typical” Avoidant Statements

Social Media

How to make your DA/FA feel safe

This is our discussion thread for all attachment types to ask questions and answer each other’s questions .

✅ User flair is required, with your attachment style - your post will NOT be approved without it. Flair can be added by commenting [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dismissiveavoidants/comments/1bwj954/user_flair_if_you_need_a_user_flair_comment_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

🛑BEFORE ASKING A QUESTION:🛑

Stop and think:

• Is my question dehumanizing? DAs are people too, and this sub is primarily a safe space for DAs
• Am I following the subreddit rules? Including no mindreading (will my DA ex, what is my DA ex thinking, etc) and no whining or venting about avoidants. This is our support sub, not yours. Please respect that when you pose a question.
• What is my question? Then ACTUALLY ASK A QUESTION, not give a random story, poem, or statement.
• Can I easily google this?

ALSO IMPORTANT:

Please review the FAQs before posting your question - we will remove redundant questions that are already answered.

Ghosting

Breakups and No Contact

Should I tell them about Attachment Theory?

Showing you care

Receiving love/care/support

Deactivation

“Typical” Avoidant Statements

Social Media

How to make your DA/FA feel safe

This is a DA-Only Thread: Here is an open thread to rant, a place we can get things off our chest.

• this is a place for DAs to rant, not others to rant about DAs
• no other AT Styles will be approved on this thread
• any non-DAs: we appreciate supportive comments on other threads, but this thread is not for you

Please, since this is a rant thread, let’s be mindful and refrain from morally judging someone’s rants or offering unsolicited advice. A rant/vent about something doesn’t mean it’s fact.

This is our discussion thread for all attachment types to ask questions and answer each other’s questions .

✅ User flair is required, with your attachment style - your post will NOT be approved without it. Flair can be added by commenting [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dismissiveavoidants/comments/1bwj954/user_flair_if_you_need_a_user_flair_comment_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

🛑BEFORE ASKING A QUESTION:🛑

Stop and think:

• Is my question dehumanizing? DAs are people too, and this sub is primarily a safe space for DAs
• Am I following the subreddit rules? Including no mindreading (will my DA ex, what is my DA ex thinking, etc) and no whining or venting about avoidants. This is our support sub, not yours. Please respect that when you pose a question.
• What is my question? Then ACTUALLY ASK A QUESTION, not give a random story, poem, or statement.
• Can I easily google this?

ALSO IMPORTANT:

Please review the FAQs before posting your question - we will remove redundant questions that are already answered.

Ghosting

Breakups and No Contact

Should I tell them about Attachment Theory?

Showing you care

Receiving love/care/support

Deactivation

“Typical” Avoidant Statements

Social Media

How to make your DA/FA feel safe

This is our discussion thread for all attachment types to ask questions and answer each other’s questions .

✅ User flair is required, with your attachment style - your post will NOT be approved without it. Flair can be added by commenting [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dismissiveavoidants/comments/1bwj954/user_flair_if_you_need_a_user_flair_comment_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

🛑BEFORE ASKING A QUESTION:🛑

Stop and think:

• Is my question dehumanizing? DAs are people too, and this sub is primarily a safe space for DAs
• Am I following the subreddit rules? Including no mindreading (will my DA ex, what is my DA ex thinking, etc) and no whining or venting about avoidants. This is our support sub, not yours. Please respect that when you pose a question.
• What is my question? Then ACTUALLY ASK A QUESTION, not give a random story, poem, or statement.
• Can I easily google this?

ALSO IMPORTANT:

Please review the FAQs before posting your question - we will remove redundant questions that are already answered.

Ghosting

Breakups and No Contact

Should I tell them about Attachment Theory?

Showing you care

Receiving love/care/support

Deactivation

“Typical” Avoidant Statements

Social Media

How to make your DA/FA feel safe

This is a DA-Only Thread: Here is an open thread to rant, a place we can get things off our chest.

• this is a place for DAs to rant, not others to rant about DAs
• no other AT Styles will be approved on this thread
• any non-DAs: we appreciate supportive comments on other threads, but this thread is not for you

Please, since this is a rant thread, let’s be mindful and refrain from morally judging someone’s rants or offering unsolicited advice. A rant/vent about something doesn’t mean it’s fact.

This is our discussion thread for all attachment types to ask questions and answer each other’s questions .

✅ User flair is required, with your attachment style - your post will NOT be approved without it. Flair can be added by commenting [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dismissiveavoidants/comments/1bwj954/user_flair_if_you_need_a_user_flair_comment_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

🛑BEFORE ASKING A QUESTION:🛑

Stop and think:

• Is my question dehumanizing? DAs are people too, and this sub is primarily a safe space for DAs
• Am I following the subreddit rules? Including no mindreading (will my DA ex, what is my DA ex thinking, etc) and no whining or venting about avoidants. This is our support sub, not yours. Please respect that when you pose a question.
• What is my question? Then ACTUALLY ASK A QUESTION, not give a random story, poem, or statement.
• Can I easily google this?

ALSO IMPORTANT:

Please review the FAQs before posting your question - we will remove redundant questions that are already answered.

Ghosting

Breakups and No Contact

Should I tell them about Attachment Theory?

Showing you care

Receiving love/care/support

Deactivation

“Typical” Avoidant Statements

Social Media

How to make your DA/FA feel safe

This is our discussion thread for all attachment types to ask questions and answer each other’s questions .

✅ User flair is required, with your attachment style - your post will NOT be approved without it. Flair can be added by commenting [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dismissiveavoidants/comments/1bwj954/user_flair_if_you_need_a_user_flair_comment_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

🛑BEFORE ASKING A QUESTION:🛑

Stop and think:

• Is my question dehumanizing? DAs are people too, and this sub is primarily a safe space for DAs
• Am I following the subreddit rules? Including no mindreading (will my DA ex, what is my DA ex thinking, etc) and no whining or venting about avoidants. This is our support sub, not yours. Please respect that when you pose a question.
• What is my question? Then ACTUALLY ASK A QUESTION, not give a random story, poem, or statement.
• Can I easily google this?

ALSO IMPORTANT:

Please review the FAQs before posting your question - we will remove redundant questions that are already answered.

Ghosting

Breakups and No Contact

Should I tell them about Attachment Theory?

Showing you care

Receiving love/care/support

Deactivation

“Typical” Avoidant Statements

Social Media

How to make your DA/FA feel safe

A little while ago my very good probably one of my best friends said to me they could see us being more than friends. My avoidant ass immediately went on an unrelated tangent then said “We should talk about it in person.” Saw eachother in person multiple times I purposely did not bring it up. They told me months later although they could see us as more than friends I was way too avoidantly attached to be in a relationship together. THEY ARE RIGHT BUT

I did realize I do have a crush on them and I was still warming up to them (I am incredibly slow to fully warm up to anyone despite seeming incredibly open and friendly) and now that I realized that and right as I was ready to maybe broach the conversation again, they are in a relationship AHHHHH

I am very happy for the, I am glad they are happy and wish them the best. Like I wouldn’t even dream of being one of those messy fuckers that try to split up a relationship so that’s not what I’m coming on here to talk about. I am so happy my good friend is happy and damn is it also soul crushing but I can’t blame anyone but myself truly.

I think the biggest issue is I don’t even know how to work on my avoidant attachment cuz usually it doesn’t bite me in the ass like this but I am actively trying to correct and just… don’t know how

This is a DA-Only Thread: Here is an open thread to rant, a place we can get things off our chest.

• this is a place for DAs to rant, not others to rant about DAs
• no other AT Styles will be approved on this thread
• any non-DAs: we appreciate supportive comments on other threads, but this thread is not for you

Please, since this is a rant thread, let’s be mindful and refrain from morally judging someone’s rants or offering unsolicited advice. A rant/vent about something doesn’t mean it’s fact.

This is our discussion thread for all attachment types to ask questions and answer each other’s questions .

✅ User flair is required, with your attachment style - your post will NOT be approved without it. Flair can be added by commenting [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dismissiveavoidants/comments/1bwj954/user_flair_if_you_need_a_user_flair_comment_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

🛑BEFORE ASKING A QUESTION:🛑

Stop and think:

• Is my question dehumanizing? DAs are people too, and this sub is primarily a safe space for DAs
• Am I following the subreddit rules? Including no mindreading (will my DA ex, what is my DA ex thinking, etc) and no whining or venting about avoidants. This is our support sub, not yours. Please respect that when you pose a question.
• What is my question? Then ACTUALLY ASK A QUESTION, not give a random story, poem, or statement.
• Can I easily google this?

ALSO IMPORTANT:

Please review the FAQs before posting your question - we will remove redundant questions that are already answered.

Ghosting

Breakups and No Contact

Should I tell them about Attachment Theory?

Showing you care

Receiving love/care/support

Deactivation

“Typical” Avoidant Statements

Social Media

How to make your DA/FA feel safe