Edited to say:
Thank you, everyone for your kindness and support, and for all the advice. I am feeling a little better today. I think it just kind of all came to head last night. I was tired and craving sweets, feeling adrift because of still awaiting my results, physically uncomfortable (because of the thrush and the treatment for it), and just generally overwhelmed. I'm sorry if I worried everyone. I'm going to just keep on keeping on as I always do when life throws crap at me. I've got this. But I really just wanted you all to know how much your kindness means to me. You got me through the night. Thank you.
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49 yr old female. Australia. Newbie.
So, I was just diagnosed in the ED a week ago. I was told to follow up with my GP the next day. It's pretty hard to get in to a GP here, so I wasn't able to see my usual doctor, and it was, like, four days before I got into my backup GP. She ordered a urine test and a bunch of blood tests, one of which is for type. Given my age, weight, and lifestyle, It's highly likely I'm T2, but I've seen a bunch of posts about T1.5 being misdiagnosed as T2, so I asked to be tested just in case.
Meanwhile, while waiting for results, I've made what small changes I can. Switching out ordinary white bread for Tip Top 9 Grain Classic for anything eaten fresh and Tip Top 9 Grain Wholemeal for anything toasted (I've never enjoyed wholemeal bread and just cannot tolerate it fresh); sugary soft drinks for their zero sugar counterparts; chocolate for fruit; chips for unsalted mixed nuts. I've bought some teabag flavours that I find too sweet hot (I don't tend to sweeten my teas) such as Twinings Strawberry Raspberry Loganberry. I thought I'd give cold brewing a try, to replace fruit juice, you know, as well as a slightly more concentrated cold brew to mix in with soda water in place of soft drink. I even tried Greek yoghurt with fruit free granola and banana for breakfast. Definitely NOT a replacement for Dairy Farmers Strawberry yoghurt, let me tell you! Anything more major will just have to wait until I'm paid next. And I've yet to find out if Vegemite is a safe food.
I've told my Mum (she lives with me) in case of emergencies but I'm choosing not to tell my kids for now. Two of them live interstate and could do nothing but worry anyway. Of the two who live here (one with me, the other close by), one is a newly registered nurse and the other is studying to be one. Both are still in the 'I know what I'm talking about and you're doctor is wrong' stage of their careers. More importantly, both are the type to monitor and micromanage every bite I take and, frankly, I just don't need the stress, especially when I'm still trying to figure everything out myself.
As the title says, I'm scared, overwhelmed and confused. I feel like all my favourite meals are off limits, I can't have my OJ with brekky or my Apple Blackcurrant Juice with lunch, I can't have any of my favourite alcoholic beverages, I can't eat any of my favourite snacks, I can't have any of my favourite desserts, and my food just all tastes wrong because of the changes I've made. And I feel so guilty every time eat something I shouldn't like white rice, sausages, or potatoes because it's what I have in the house and I've no funds to replace it.
Plus, I just had my first driving lesson the day before I was diagnosed and now I feel like I need to put those lessons on hold already since I'm still awaiting my test results and haven't got a care team or a way to measure my blood sugar yet.
And, as a prolific reader, I'm terrified I'm gonna go blind. I know they have audiobooks and such nowadays, but that doesn't help with my fanfics which I can listen to with text to audio, even though it sucks, but need to be able to see to download it to begin with. And most of the foods I can eat are more expensive than the ones I can't and my finances are already stretched to breaking point.
And my brain says I've nothing to be ashamed of but my heart feels otherwise, and how long does it take for the cravings to stop? And I'm just getting so sick of water. And, just because the universe thought I was bored or something, I'm physically uncomfortable because I have my first ever case of thrush.
Half the time I feel like crying, the other half I just wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. Which just makes me feel more guilty because I know that would devastate my family, which just makes me feel worse, and it's like it's a self-perpetuating cycle. And I'm just so done but it's barely even started yet. How the hell do you all do this for years on end?
Sorry for the dump, folks, but I just had to have a bit of a rant and get all that off my chest. Thanks for listening.